USA > Connecticut > Middlesex County > Haddam > The two hundredth anniversary of the First Congregational Church of Haddam, Connecticut, October 14th and 17th, 1900. Church organized, 1696. Pastor installed, 1700 > Part 12
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conviction to his words; while his quaintness and origi- nality held the attention of his hearers.
To Uncle Moses, praise as well as prayer was a part of his spiritual food. He was fond of hymns, and loved to hear them sung on any occasion. It occurred once to the younger members of this congregation to visit Uncle Moses's home at night, and, under his chamber window, sing some of those familiar hymns in which his soul delighted.
They called it "serenading him."
And there they gathered as the hours drew on to mid- night, down by the old mill, under the leafy trees, and where the gurgling brook wandered on, until it fell into the lazy wheel, which it forced to labor for the old patriarch, who was so much older, even, than itself.
They sang, "Shall we gather at the river," and "There 'll be no more sorrow there," "Beyond the sigh- ing and the weeping," and the like. Then they listened; listened for Uncle Moses. But Uncle Moses's window was dark, and Uncle Moses himself gave forth no sign.
He, too, was listening, I suppose; listening, perhaps, to the music of his own little brook as it dashed over the pebbles in its rocky bed below. But he was listening, I am sure he was listening, for he said afterward that he heard it all, and that it was heavenly. And the young couples waiting there, in the chilly night, with one shawl wrapped round the shoulders of two persons, a boy and a girl, and drawing them closely together, for the autumn nip was in the air-they, too, thought it was heavenly !
Every New Englander knows how large a part of the social life of these country towns is centered around the church.
At the time we speak of, church parlors and kitchens
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were not common, and yet the church was the rallying- point for much of the social activity of the place.
Its meetings were meetings not only for prayer and praise, but they were looked forward to, as times for a friendly chat, and a little harmless gossip when the service was over.
And every Sunday night, from out the shadows of the two pillars which dignify the porch of this edifice, there came a line of ardent swains; and from out these doors there went another line of expectant maidens.
And in the darkness these two lines met, and became one; and that meant much, very much to those young hearts, for it was Sunday night, in New England, and in the days when the chaperon was not, and when conven- tionalities were not a burden.
I cannot tell, but it may be that some of you can, if that line forms and re-forms still, on the holy Sabbath nights, in the dim light of the twinkling stars!
Those were peaceful, happy, good old days; but they have passed forever for those of us who lived them then. I cannot say but that the present ones are better ; I trust they may be. But so long as the rallying-place of the people shall be the house of God and his Christ, the days cannot be very bad.
This church stands here to-day, hoary and venerable with age. The two centuries of its life stretch back away beyond the infancy of this nation. And during that time, the generations have come and gone, and other generations have succeeded them.
But its mission is not ended yet; for when compared with the everlasting hills which rise round about it, and the river which flows peacefully by, it is but an infant
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in years; and to be old, it must live on and on, far into the centuries yet to be.
Other generations must come and go; and still others must follow them, and the light of God's word, from his holy church must shed its radiance on all peoples.
And while the green hills stand, and until the rocks shall melt, and so long as the beautiful river rolls on to the sea, God grant that the Haddam church may hold up the cross of Jesus to the sin-sick souls of men.
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CHARLES MAY
M R. CHAIRMAN AND FELLOW-DESCENDANTS: I come at the end of a long line of speakers, and as I have an address to deliver to you which I am afraid you will consider as long in proportion as my great-grandfather's pastorate, I am in danger of suffering the experience of a certain excellent divine, who had, so far as I know, only one serious fault, viz .: that of preaching exceed- ingly long sermons.
On one occasion his theme was, "The Prophets." He had preached upon it for about an hour and a half and his audience were beginning to get pretty tired. At last he reached what seemed to be his peroration, and they were in hopes that the end was near; but as he finished his burst of eloquence, he proceeded to remark with fresh vigor, "My Brethren, we have thus considered all of the major prophets, and now we come to the minor prophets. And first Malachi; what place shall we give to Malachi?" whereupon a tall countryman, who had been fidgeting in his seat for some time, rose to his feet, strode down the aisle, and as he went out of the door shouted out, "Well, Malachi may have my place. I have had it long enough."
Now it may be that before I shall have finished my address some one of you may think that "a very little prophet" is coming to him, and that he would like to give . his place to Malachi, in which event I shall not feel
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seriously offended if my weary hearer shall leave the church as did the countryman.
We have been fighting a nation which worships the past; a nation which moves forward, it is true, but only as fast as would the racer with his back to the goal and his eyes ever intent upon the course he has traversed; a nation so wedded to its ancient institutions that the mere thought of innovation arouses a frenzy which threatens to plunge the world into war. Our nation, on the other hand, is one which rarely looks backward. Change, if it be improvement, is welcome, and experi- ment, even, in hope of betterment, is deemed sufficient justification for the overthrow of long-established cus- toms and the introduction of new ones. It is question- able, however, whether it would not be better for us as a nation, to give more attention to the study and preser- vation of old institutions. Granting that the lines of the poet are true :
We ranging down this lower track, The path we came by, thorn and flower, Is shadowed by the growing hour, Lest life should fail in looking back ;
and granting that these lines apply as well to the nation as the individual, nevertheless it is well for us occasion- ally, and more often perhaps than we are wont, to pause in our onward march, glance back over the course run by our forefathers, and study the institutions and the customs established by them, that we may reap the fruits of their wisdom, and catch something of the noble and self-sacrificing spirit which inspired them in their pio- neer work.
It is not my purpose, however, I hardly need say, in
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the few words which I am to speak to you to-night, to at- tempt to be your guide in this review of the past, or the historian of any portion of the history of your church, or the biographer of your pastor from whom I am de- scended.
For that work, neither my natural disposition nor my experience has qualified me. It is enough for me to have had the honor to suggest to your committee the name of another descendant of Rev. Eleazer May, Rev. Dr. Mun- ger, as the most appropriate person to act as his biogra- pher for this occasion; and the interesting address from him, to which we have listened, is enough to prove that my suggestion was a most happy one. Nor would I have felt myself equal to the task, even if there had been no distinguished cousin for me to suggest as the proper person for it; for the fact is, I never knew I had a great- grandfather, much less that he was a minister of the gospel in this town, until I was a man grown. My father, Edward Selden May, was one who illustrated, to my mind, most forcibly the characteristic to which I have alluded, viz .: the disposition to devote one's self to the present and the future rather than to dwell upon the past. Most intensely interested in the vital questions of the day, he led the discussions in our family home upon politics, science, history, etc., with a zeal which left little opportunity for what was of a private nature, and I do not remember that in my boyhood I ever heard him mention the fact that his grandfather was a min- ister. There was, perhaps, another excuse for his not entering upon the family history in our home talks, for the fact was that he had fourteen brothers and sisters, nineteen uncles and aunts, and at least seventy-eight first cousins. No wonder, therefore, that he hesitated
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to enter with his boys upon a field the paths of which were so complicated that he could not thread them him- self without a guide. How I came finally to the know- ledge that we had a family history arose from the fol- lowing incident. In the year 1875 my father was sent as a representative to the Massachusetts legislature, and while there he met Rev. Samuel May, also a representa- tive, from Leicester, Mass., a man of national reputa- tion, deservedly earned by his philanthropic and effi- cient labors as secretary of the Anti-Slavery Society. In a conversation with my father, naturally suggested by the identity of their family names, Mr. May dis- closed the fact that he was then and had been for a number of years engaged in an attempt to trace the genealogy of the May family, from the original an- cestor, John May, who came to this country in 1640, down through the various branches descended from him.
He said that he had been remarkably successful in his work as a whole, but that with regard to one branch he had entirely failed. He had found that there was a certain Hezekiah May, who left the family home in Boston, and who settled in Wethersfield, and that Heze- kiah had a son, Eleazer, who became a minister, but that was all he knew about him. If he could only find his family Bible, he had no doubt it would give him the information which he needed. My father heard him through, and then replied, "Well, Mr. May, if you will come with me to my home in Lee and make me a visit, I will show you the Bible you speak of, for Eleazer May was my grandfather, and his family Bible is in a trunk in the garret of my house, where it has been stored for a good many years."
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It is to that chance conversation that I owe the plea- sure of being with you to-day, and of being able to show you, as I now do, the Bible that belonged to the former pastor of your church.
Mr. May gladly accepted my father's invitation, came to our house and spent several days there in gathering the information which he afterward published in the May family book, and it was from the conversation which I heard while he was there, and from the perusal of that book, that I learned that my great-grandfather was a minister of the gospel, and the revered pastor of this church. Nor must I fail to mention another little incident which has led to my being present on this occa- sion. I happened not long ago to meet at the Bar Asso- ciation in New York, a man well known to you all, and as well known in that great city as one of the leaders in his profession, my generous host, Mr. Cephas Brain- erd; and, meeting him again a short time afterward, where there was opportunity, I ventured to commend myself to his favorable interest by telling him that my grandmother was Clarissa Brainerd, that she was born in his native town, and there married my grandfather, Huntington May. Mr. Brainerd met my advances with the greatest cordiality, and informed me that his country home was built upon the site of the house where Rev. Eleazer May lived, and where my grandfather was born. If I had not thus met Mr. Brainerd, it may be that I would never have learned that this celebration was to take place, and certainly I could never have expected to have been invited to attend it with my family. I need not say that it gives me an additional pleasure to be here as his guest in the house built upon the land where my ancestors lived.
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I have said that I am in no sense fitted to be a his- torian; but, at the risk of wearying you, and without any claim that what I am to attempt to describe is his- tory, I am going, with your kind permission, to essay an imaginative description of a wedding which I suppose may have taken place in what you designate as the old church over one hundred years ago, and because I, my- self, am more vitally interested in the wedding of my grandfather and grandmother in 1795, than in any other wedding that might have taken place about that time, I have selfishly chosen that one as the one upon which my imagination may have free play. I suppose that it was a church wedding, for, as you will see, there certainly would not have been room in any private dwelling-house for the number of guests which I propose to have in- vited for the festive occasion. The bride is Clarissa Brainerd, eighteen years of age. She must have been beautiful, for the lovely aged face which looks forth from the canvas of a portrait taken by Pease, and preserved in my old home, shows, in spite of line and wrinkle, traces of the beauty which rejoiced the bride- groom's heart as he led her to the altar. I wish for the sake of the feminine portion of the audience that I could describe her dress; but at that task my imagination falters. I can, however, show you a piece of Sybil Hunt- ington's wedding-dress, worn forty-one years before, when she married Rev. Eleazer in her old home in Leb- anon; and here it is.
The bridegroom, Huntington May, was the next to the youngest son and child of Rev. Eleazer. He was then twenty-three years of age, and, I doubt not, bore him- self through the ordeal of the ceremony with a martial air befitting the title of major, which both the com-
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piler of the Brainerd and the Huntington family books bestowed upon him, though for what reason I have never been able to discover.
I suppose that the Rev. Eleazer May, the pastor of the church, and the father of the bridegroom, then a hale and hearty man sixty-two years of age, performed the ceremony.
For almost forty years he had been pastor of this church. His ten children had all grown to manhood and womanhood (no one of them missing), and had all married and gone from his home to homes of their own, except Huntington, now about to go, and Hezekiah, the youngest, who had just graduated from Yale, and was studying to be a missionary among the Indians. The families of his children were all there before him. His parishioners, with their kindly, interested faces, had filled the seats in the meeting-house to overflowing, and as his gaze rested upon the large congregation and his thoughts turned to the rich blessings which heaven had bestowed upon him and his, we can well imagine that the tears came to his eyes, and his voice faltered as he asked the questions, "Huntington, wilt thou have this woman to be thy wedded wife?" and "Clarissa, wilt thou have this man to be thy wedded husband?" Nor can we think that his wife, Sybil Huntington, who had shared his joys and sorrows for those forty years, sat there in the front pew, unmoved. Well may we ima- gine that in her stirred precious memories, not only of her life here in Haddam, of her children and her children's children, but also of her own marriage in Lebanon, and the kindred still there who had remem- bered her boy on this day of his rejoicing, and had sent messages and gifts to his chosen bride. By her sat
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the bride's mother, Harriet Hubbard Brainerd, gladly welcoming with her the union of the two large families in this marriage bond.
Captain John Brainerd, the bride's father, who had earned his title in the Revolutionary War, fighting at White Plains for his country, gave the bride away, surely an occupation more congenial to his taste than the bloody conflict from which he had won his title.
I imagine that the rest of the bridal procession was composed entirely of the bride's brothers and sisters. Huldah and Hannah, sixteen and fourteen years of age, came first; John and Dolly, twelve and ten, next; then Anne and Prudence, eight and six; and last, Frances and Jabez, four and three. Ursula, the two-year-old, and the baby, Hezekiah, about three months, were almost too young to take an active part.
I suppose, as I have said, that the children of Eleazer and Sybil were all there. I am disposed, while I am about it, to have it a universal family affair, especially as my imagination does not worry itself at all about the expense. "What does it matter a hundred years ago ?" is just as effective about past extravagance, as "What does it matter a hundred years hence ?", is about present expenditure. And so, regardless of cost, the whole fam- ily has gathered together to grace the occasion, and delight the hearts of parents and grandparents.
There was John May, the oldest son, who had gradu- ated from Yale in 1777, and become a sea captain. There were Dorothy Arnold, his wife, and his little ones, Janet, John, and Edwin, aged five, three, and one respectively. There were Edward Selden and Sybil May Selden, his wife, Eleazer's oldest daughter, with their seven chil- dren, Mary, Sybil, Nancy, Clarissa, Delia, Edward, and
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Charlotte, aged fifteen, thirteen, eleven, nine, seven, five, and three respectively : Edward a little bit harassed with his six sisters, but relieving a little the monotony of the feminine arithmetical series.
There was Rev. David Selden (Yale, 1782), thirty-four years of age, the minister at Middle Haddam, destined to be there for almost as long a period as was his father- in-law in this church; there were his wife, Cynthia May Selden, Eleazer's second daughter, with another arith- metical series, this one a little irregular : David, ten; Sylvester, nine; John, seven; Huntington, six; Cynthia, four; Elizabeth, three; and Hezekiah, one. Note that the little Cynthia was to be the happy wife of Dr. Ebenezer Munger, and mother of the boy, Theodore .T. Munger, to whom we have this day listened with so much pleasure, and who now, after a long life of use- fulness, is contemplating a well-earned rest from active pastoral labors.
There were Rev. Jesse Townsend, and Annie May Townsend, his wife, the third daughter, with their little two-year old boy, Eleazer. They had come all the way from Madison, Vt.
There was Colonel John Wells of Rowe, Mass., with his wife, Elizabeth May Wells, the fourth daughter. There were also Eleazer May, the second son, with his wife, Cynthia, from Westminster, Vt .; William Wells, from Shelburne, Mass., with his wife, Prudence May, the fourth daughter; Rev. Sylvester Sage, also from West- minster, Vt., with his wife, Clarissa, the fifth daughter, and perhaps their infant child, Huldah Robinson; and there, finally, was the youngest son, Hezekiah, to whom I have already alluded, who afterward married a di- rect descendant of Peregrine White, the first white
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child born in New England, and became the father of stalwart children, one of them being six feet five inches - in height. Truly the missionary work among the In- dians must have given him great vigor, whatever may have been the result to the Indians.
I am sorry that I cannot give you the names of all the parishioners who were present at that wedding; but that is something for a descendant of some parishioner to do, and not for a descendant of the pastor.
Nor can I follow the wedding party from the church to the house. Time forbids that I should tell of the presents and the collation, and all the other interesting things that weddings entail, but I cannot close this attempt to describe something about the family of your pastor without alluding to the remarkable fact that those ten children all lived to old age, and their average age at death was seventy-nine.
The corollaries which I would draw are these: First. What an enormous salary, for those days, this church must have paid its minister to have enabled him to feed, clothe, and educate so large a family, to send two of his sons to Yale College, and to have married off so many daughters to ministers, who are proverbially looking for rich wives.
Second. What a heritage of rich blessing has come down to us, the descendants of your pastor.
The older brothers of his father, Hezekiah, remained at home on the farm, which afterward became a part of Boston, and was cut up into city lots, which their de- scendants inherited, much to their material advantage. I have never heard that the farm of Hezekiah at Weth- ersfield was cut up into city lots. But the heritage that we, the descendants of Eleazer, the son of Hezekiah, have
12
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received, is the rich memory of a life of usefulness spent in the Master's service in this church, and the right to participate in the mercies promised to thousands of those that love him and keep his commandments.
I thank you all in behalf of myself and my wife and little daughter, whose name is that of her great-grand- mother, Sybil Huntington May, for the pleasure which this occasion has afforded us, and, for myself, for the honor of addressing you.
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LETTERS
INDIANAPOLIS, October 9, 1900.
DEAR SIR: It would afford me great pleasure to attend the cele- bration were I located nearer the scenes of my childhood; but, under the circumstances, I must send my regrets. I claim to be a son of the old church which I attended in my boyhood, and where I listened first-if my memory serves me right -- to the ministry of Rev. John Marsh, and received from Mr. Alva Shailer, and other teachers, instruction in the Sabbath school.
Well do I recall when the "slips" succeeded the square pews in the body of the church, which change afforded all worshippers the opportunity to face the pulpit, with its high and elaborate sounding-board above it, giving a majestic and rather awe-inspir- ing appearance to the interior of the building dedicated to the service of the God our fathers worshipped with so much sincere reverence and humility.
As I left my home in 1842 for "other pastures," I was not present when it was decided to tear down the old church building, to which I presume no objection was made; but, at this late day, who is left of the old attendants who would not rejoice to see the old building as it stood, with all its sacred memories, and much more, the seats intact which were occupied by the fathers and mothers of three-quarters of a century ago? Why not pre- serve and inclose the site with an honorable memorial of some sort, that succeeding generations may know that on this hallowed spot the fathers and mothers worshipped, who have long since been gathered to the great church beyond, where pastor and people meet "in mansions not made with hands, eternal in the heavens."
I recall the importance of the choir, whose members were the en- dowed sons and daughters of the realm, as they occupied the high-graded seats in the choir gallery, where soprano and alto voices harmonized with the bass and tenor divisions, all led, dur- ing my recollection, by Mr. Chauncey Skinner and Mr. James Swan, on violins, and Mr. Hurlburt Swan, on bass viol occasion-
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ally, the flute and cornet were added, as the importance of the occasion or the inclination of the performers prompted them.
Much may be said in favor of modern church music, but when this choir was in good condition, I don't think God's worshippers ever listened to so sweet and impressive music as came from that gallery when they sang:
"Before Jehovah's awful throne, Ye nations bow with sacred joy, "
and many other anthems so popular in that day.
On you who meet to celebrate the ancient day and give your personal efforts to have it successful, an obligation rests to pro- long the memorable history of this church for future generations, and preserve the names and memory of the saintly men who there declared the word of God.
To make my declaration more interesting, "the partner of my joys and sorrows" remembers with pleasure that when she was. nine years old she attended the old church. The services were conducted by Dr. Field, the only man of that time who wrote D.D. before and after his name. The incidents are still vivid in her memory, and it is a lasting delight to recall the time when she kept the "Sabbath day holy" under Connecticut regulations.
Wishing you all a great day of rejoicing, Very sincerely yours,
BENJ. KELSEY.
DEAR SIR: You asked me some time ago to give you some reminis- cences of old times in Haddam, and to-day I am turning Time backward to a Sunday morning when I was being dressed up in a suit of clothes made by "Aunt Manda, " and about two years too large, so they would not be outgrown before they were worn out, and trudging along holding my father's hand, and carrying an elbow-stool for my mother. Then we walked a mile to the old church on the green by Mr. Cephas Brainerd's, and listened to the long prayer and the many-headed sermon of the Rev. David D. Field.
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