USA > Delaware > Methodism of the peninsula, or, Sketches of notable characters and events in the history of Methodism in the Maryland and Delaware peninsula > Part 16
USA > Maryland > Methodism of the peninsula, or, Sketches of notable characters and events in the history of Methodism in the Maryland and Delaware peninsula > Part 16
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Master Elisha was not a man of one work. He was " handy with tools." He was a famous huntsman, cap- turing many a raccoon and opossum ; and was equally renowned among the herring and shad fisheries of the Choptank, in whose activities he generally bore an important part. Furthermore, he was a professional politician ; a loyal worker in his party ; an excellent judge of brandy and rum, having tested about all the samples falling under his observation for the past twenty years ; and now, for his distinguished services to his
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party, cooping and inspiring voters the night before the election, he had been recently appointed an honorable Justice of the Peace. His literary qualifications, how- ever, were below even those of Master Marshall ; and, worse than all, his intellectual perceptions were often befuddled by imbibing too freely of the contents of a mysterious bottle of "medicine" always gracing his lunch-basket, and used, he said, "to keep off the Ager." He used the rod occasionally, but in a benevolent and good-natured sort of way.
Although not more than eight or nine years old at the time of Master Elisha's reign, as to correct spelling and rapid reading, I was the most advanced scholar in the school, and could "do" most of the " sums" up to the Rule of Three ; so that when, on Tuesdays, he went to hold Justice's Court in Denton, he left me in charge of the department of instruction, with one of the big boys, as secretary of war, to aid me in preserving the peace. Strange to say, the exercises usually proceeded in regular order, and the stammering recitations of boys and girls of all ages were faithfully heard and corrected by the juvenile and conscientious teacher; who was too profoundly impressed by a sense of the honor and respon- sibility, thus conferred, to betray his trust.
On such occasions, the behavior of the school was sur- prisingly good. Occasionally, however, the secretary of war for the time being, would enter into a conspiracy with some of his companions to get up a row, "just for fun, you know;" and a lively time was the result. It
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usually ended with a verdict from the extemporized jury in the case, that Bill Cahall, or Ned Sweedling, or Wes. Stafford was to blame for the deviltry, and must be flogged by the little teacher. Forthwith the secretary of war handed me the rod, hauled the offender before me, and I gave him the "ten lashes well laid on," according to the sentence of the regent. It was difficult to deter- mine which was most amused-the school, the teacher, or the suffering convict.
A little after this time the school house at Chinquepin was completed. We thought it very fine in appearance and comfortable in its appointments. It was furnished with a writing desk on either side, instead of but one as heretofore; so that both boys and girls could write at the same time. There were six nice slab benches, three each for boys and girls; but all so high from the floor that the smaller children literally went to roost on a perch, whenever they sat down. Many a time when thus perched, trying in vain to shoot an ideal arrow athwart some mathematical chasm, my helplessly dang- ling feet, by reason of obstructed circulation, would feel as if pricked by a thousand needles; and the constant effort, by twisting and squirming, to relieve my discom- fort, made my dear, patient mother an expert at patch- work. This new school house was furnished with a large ten-plate stove in the centre of the room. Altogether it was so very fine that there was much competition among country professors, as to who should have the distin- guished honor of presiding at Chinquepin. The Trustees
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were really embarrassed with applications; and hit upon the happy expedient of settling the question of a teacher for the new school, by appointing Messrs. R., G., and S. a committee to examine the several candidates as to their fitness and qualifications. After several candidates had been disposed of by these erudite gentlemen, Mr. Samuel Wiseman, of Queen Anne County, whose name and appearance did well befit each other, presented him- self, and profoundly impressed them. He introduced himself in a wonderful flow of high-sounding words; complimented the Trustees for "the profundity of their prudential philosophy, in requiring teachers to submit to a submission of their professional qualifications to the intellectual scrutinizations of gentlemen of your (their) distinguished cultivation and urbanity." He said he was glad "a new and ponderous epoch had dawned; and was rolling its triumphal car of Juggernaut along the ages." He believed they would "project a discrimina- tion into their official prerogatives, that would lead to the broadest altitude of the mundane prosperity of their sectional advancement." He concluded with : "Here, gentlemen, is my certifickit, from the Trustees where I teached last year, of my literal capacity."
At this point Mr. G., with a dazed sort of demeanor, ventured the inquiry :
"Mr. Wiseman, what sort o' books kin you teach ?" His reply satisfied the entire Board. Said he:
"Gentlemen: I don't profess to be compos omnium vincibus-that is, like a quack doctor, to do everything
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better than everybody else; but what I do I do. I teach all the common branches, commonly teached in common schools; and, in addition, gentlemen, I teach G'ography, English Grammar, Orthography, Etymology, Syntax and Prosody !"
The Board was profoundly satisfied, and Mr. Wiseman was at once engaged. Notwithstanding his attainments and capacity, equalled only by his towering egotism, I do not remember that any of his fortunate pupils have ever reached any great distinction. Great privileges and opportunities do not usually long continue. It was so in this case. Mr. Wiseman's departure from Queen Anne County had so seriously affected some of her citi- zens, that a constable came one day and persuaded him to return; and, when last heard from, an appreciative public had provided him with entertainment and em- ployment, better suited to his versatile talents, in a celebrated institution in Baltimore.
Our next teacher at Chinquepin was Mr. Marion Dawson-a really accomplished teacher for his day. In addition to the usual primary branches, he taught His- tory, Geography, Grammar, and higher Arithmetic with Bookkeeping; and by the time his principalship was ended I was ready for graduation. Being now large enough to be very useful on the farm, I attended school only during the winter months ; following the plow, and wielding the hoe and axe, or driving a team, during the remainder of the year. But when I was fifteen or six- teen years old, my father sent me to the Academy in
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Denton, at such times as I could be spared, where I learned something further of the mysteries of literature ; and completed my preparation for introduction to Col- lege life.
Let me assure the incredulous reader, these pictures of my school-boy environments and experiences are not overdrawn. Thousands now on life's western slope, who fifty years ago were Eastern-Shore-Maryland boys, can bear witness to the substantial correctness of this sketch. But the times have wonderfully changed ; and similar facts and experiences are now impossible.
The boy who, from 1837 to 1844, struggled amid such difficulties, to open the windows of his being to God's and nature's light; twenty years thereafter, with like- minded compeers and compatriots, in State Constitutional Convention assembled at Annapolis, pleaded and voted successfully for a requirement in Maryland organic law, providing the means of liberal common-school education for all the State's children. Our constituents sent us there to make freemen of a hundred thousand slaves. We counted nearly three times that number of our fellow-citizens enchained by the bondage of ignorance ; and among the proudest achievements of any representa- tive body, was that bold stroke by which the Maryland Convention of 1864 opened the prison doors to the wronged bondmen; and, at the same time, opened the temple of knowledge to the admission of rich and poor at the expense of the commonwealth. No man or party
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has dared, or will ever dare that door to close. Through the valiant Union-men of that convention, God said, " Let there be light;" and, amid the brightening hours of our waning century, that light "shineth more and more unto the perfect day."
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CHAPTER X.
HUMORS OF A MODERN ITINERANT.
ADDRESS TO BISHOP FOSTER.
T is held by some that the pun is the lowest grade of wit; and, by dignified worthies, the punster is regarded as an intolerable nuisance, to be carefully avoided and scathingly denounced. Let the reader holding to this view skip the next few pages.
In 1878, the Wilmington Conference was held at Chestertown, Md., Bishop Foster presiding. The busi- ness of the session had closed; and the Bishop was about to address the Conference, preparatory to announ- cing the appointments, when one of the preachers arose; and, with an air of ominous solemnity, began an address. Under the impression that some unheralded storm was brewing, Bishop Foster knitted his brows, suspiciously watched the speaker, and prepared himself for a prompt and vigorous use of the gavel, should the rising storm threaten the peace and harmony of the conference. The transition in the Bishop's features, from sternness to a smile, and thence on to hilarity, was like the gradual blossoming of the distant dawning into the full-orbed day. The speaker's rebuke to the Conference for its unseemly merriment and his appeal to the President for
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the preservation of order, in conjunction with the spicy and humorous character of the address, were a little too much for the self-possession of the dignified Episcopos; and, freely unbending, he heartily echoed back from the platform the mirth of the ecclesiastical body before him. Meeting the author the following morning, he warmly thanked him for the address; said it had relieved him of a great burden, and requested its publication. It afterwards appeared in the Christian Advocate. The address was as follows:
" Mr. President: While doubtless you have received much light from your cabinet reflectors, I deem it proper at this deeply interesting point in our conference proceedings, to say some things to you that I think you ought to know, concerning our Peninsula, and the laborious and self-sacrificing ministers who occupy its territory. I trust I shall wound no brother's feelings; and if, in anything I may say, I shall seem to you to transgress the rules of propriety, you have only to call me to order, and I promise to be an obedient son in the Gospel.
"Our conference territory, Bishop, from the northern McFar-lane to the extreme southern Towns-end, is the garden spot of America. Except where our fields are already White unto the harvest, our pastures are Green and flowery, and our Sheppard is tender and kindly. The opportunities for ministerial usefulness are most inviting to our chief Gardner and our Foreman; while the Lay-field is also unsurpassed. There is no stagnant
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Poole in all our bounds. Our healthful streams and broad, Bryan-y bays invite our Fisher-man ; while our noble old camp forests afford ample scope for the dexter- ous cunning of our stalwart Hunter.
"The Southern portion of our territory is mostly a beautiful and fruitful plain. The upper half is varied by the Ridge-way, while still beyond rise the towering Hills, that ofttimes 'Skip like lambs,' and 'rejoice together.' Nestled between these, and smiling in its summer sweetness, is the Martin-dale where our confer- ence warblers Carroll, and our C sharp Bell peals forth its joyous melody.
" We have a good Mil-by the Delaware Railroad, at Harrington, and our enterprising Millers grind and bolt the finest flour. Our Smiths are experts, and always 'strike while the iron is hot ;" not infrequently causing the Sparks to fly around, especially on Missionary Anniversary occasions.
"We repudiate the insinuation that we are an un-Kemp-t assembly. No conference craft is more gracefully Rigg-ed, or more ably Mann-ed. Besides, we are celebrated for Prettymen ; and I assure you it is no paste Jewell that sparkles on our bosom. Our greatest Bain is a heavenly blessing ; and he who most puts on Ayres is A-very modest man. Our milkman is a Creamer; and the supplies furnished by the Chandler of our conference yacht, are always done up Browne.
" We seldom get into a Hough about either our ap- pointments or disappointments ; but ' Dare to do right,' and Al-dred to do wrong in every emergency. We
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transact our ecclesiastical business on the one Price prin- ciple, and have Syphred up our profits to the full amount of one English Shilling. Although lately we somewhat lost Hart, and are sometimes unable to see clearly our Way, at critical junctures ; we have thus far managed to ' hoe our own Roe,' cheered by the assurance that both England and France will remain our unflinching allies. Whenever we see dangers threatening the Church, we always Warner to stick down her Pegg and Barrett bravely, until our noble Redman of the forest, toma- hawk in hand, shall come to her rescue.
" The casks of our skillful Cooper are never used for beer at Brewington ; but although we are a distinctly pronounced temperance organization, we always keep on hand for legitimate use a little Todd-y, which-should your arduous labors in the council require-shall be cheerfully placed at your disposal.
" I looked over our Conference roll, Andrew from the names therein these reflections; but regret my inability to weave the name of my friend Hutch-in, as well as those of many others, on account of their not being Called-well. I sincerely hope, that in consideration of our Gray heads, this little ebullition of impertinence shall be allowed to go Scott-free. In conclusion, Bishop, we hope ever to Merritt and enjoy your Foster-ing care."
OUR SENIOR BISHOP'S CANE.
At the session of the Wilmington Conference, held at Middletown, Delaware, under the presidency of Bishop Hurst, a committee, of which the writer was a member,
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was appointed to convey to Bishop Scott, then confined to his home a few miles distant by age and feebleness, the fraternal greetings of the Conference. During that visit I presented to our venerable Father in Israel, a cane I had made of wood taken from old Barratt's Chapel. It was inscribed, "To the Senior Bishop;" and it was the donor's intention that it should pass, as an heir-loom, down the venerable and apostolic line, until the last Methodist Episcopal Bishop shall be called home and crowned in the heavenly kingdom. The cane is now in the possession of our honored Bishop Bowman. May he retain it for many years, and, like Moses, never need its support, even in going up the heights of Pisgah to his ascension.
Accompanying the presentation of the cane to the veteran Bishop was the following address :
"Bishop Scott: It may be considered a very indecorous thing to assault a Bishop,-dastardly, indeed, when that Bishop, by reason of infirmity, is unable to defend him- self. But, sir, I have come to-day to give you a good caning ; and for this I claim ample justification.
"You well know, sir, that, many times, you have ' laid hands' on inoffensive brethren. You once laid hands on me ; and why should I not, now that I have a good opportunity, retaliate? Let me assure you, you richly deserve what you are about to suffer at my hands, and the verdict of this committee and these visitors will sustain my conduct. As you are no ordinary offender, it is no ordinary caning I propose to give you.
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"This cane, like the Wilmington Conference, is mostly a Peninsular production; but, like the said conference, it has enough imported material in its composition to symbolize the cosmopolitan character of Methodism.
"It is a plain, unpainted cane. In this it harmonizes with certain old-fashioned notions of our fathers against moral or social shams and veneers; the conviction that character is essentially real, unpainted-' most adorned when unadorned the most.' It is not, in itself, a very nice or valuable cane; but to me it is nice, and pretty, and of great worth. It is partly because God made us, I think, that he finds so much in us to interest him. So I like this cane, for one reason, because my own hands shaped and polished it.
"This cane is taken from a Methodist Episcopal Church building that has stood one hundred and two years, and that probably will continue to stand until the 'Gospel of this kingdom shall be preached in all the world as a witness unto all nations ;' and therefore it may be interpreted to point to the conclusion that Meth- odism has come into the world to stay throughout all the centuries.
"From its position in that old Church, this cane helped echo the voice of the first Methodist Bishop who ever proclaimed salvation in America. It is intended that the last one in that line of honorable succession shall lean upon it, as, bending with age, he looks up from the last hour of the last day of the last century to behold Messiah's glorious coming.
-
av ed! to
le ! I: th m.
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"In our version of the Scriptures, we read that Jacob, the aged Patriarch, 'worshipped, leaning on the top of his staff.' Our Roman Catholic friends translated it : 'Jacob worshipped the top of his staff.' If a Methodist Patriarch should reverently uncover his head and cross himself before this relic, more holy than any in the Vatican, who shall find fault of his Methodist high- churchism, when it is explained that this staff is made of timber from old Barratt's Chapel ?
"There is an inscription on this silver band. By a singular coincidence, that inscription was engraved by a Presbyterian brother, who, more than fifty years ago, was wont, sometimes, to run away from his own church home to seek a little genial warming at the good Meth- odist fire you were, at that time, accustomed to enkindle in the pulpit of old Ebenezer Church in Philadelphia.
"The inscription hereon is, 'To the Senior Bishop ;' and when you shall at last go up to possess the land where patriarchs get young again and where pilgrims have wings, you will leave it as a legacy to the next Senior in office ; and thus it is to support, in turn, the grandest line of 'apostolic succession' the world has ever known. Honored and beloved Bishop and Father in Israel, accept this tribute and consider yourself duly caned !"
At the closing session of the same Conference, a similar cane was presented, on behalf of the body, to the junior Bishop, in fee simple. So that should he live to be the senior in office, and his body grow old and feeble, he
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may be enabled to bear himself gently adown the sunset slope to his resting place, grasping in either hand a material staff descended from the days and hallowed by the touch of Coke and Asbury. A striking coincidence of this pleasant episode was that both the Senior and . Junior Bishops-Levi Scott and John F. Hurst-were products of Peninsular Methodism. When our haughty neighbors ask doubtingly, whether any good can come out of this "Nazareth," we point proudly to these noble Sons of the Peninsula, whose names and fame have reached the outer boundaries of the Methodistic world, and will be honored through all time.
THE OLD TIME PRESIDING ELDER.
When the Peninsula constituted a single District, as in the days of Chandler and Bohm, the Presiding Elder was "a man in authority," and regarded as almost the equal of the Bishop in official dignity and responsibility. As in those days, frequent change in spiritual grazing was considered necessary to the symmetrical development of both pastor and people, it was deemed advisable to change the preachers every four or six months. In the absence of the Bishop, this work devolved on the Elder. Furthermore, the circuits being ofttimes larger than a county, the official gatherings at Quarterly Conference were often almost equal in numbers to an Annual Con- ference; and the Sunday congregations of such occasions were immense. All this tended to clothe the office of Presiding Elder with great dignity and importance. It
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was doubtless an exaggerated ideal of the Elder of the Peninsular District, in the days of the Fathers, that " Paul Picturemaker" painted, in his poem published years ago in the Conference Worker. His description was as follows :
OUR 'SIDIN' ELDER.
'Twas in the days of yore-the good old times When men were simple-minded, and the lines 'Twixt worldly vanities and Christian livin' Were closely drawn ; each state its bound'ries givin' With mathematical precision, so that By cut of coat or trowsers, you could know that A man had "got religion"-had the leaven To " rise" his nature to the state of Heaven.
As Uncle Samuel's fightin' men all dress In fightin' clothin' ; so, a man might guess With certainty, before these days of evil, Whether a man was 'listed 'gainst the Devil. But modern style, with its enormities Hath blasted Christian uniformities ; And, these days, should you go to shoot Philistines, You'd, like as not, destroy a lot of Christians.
But, had you known our 'sidin' Elder, you would Have thought him for this mundane station too good. His frame was tall and stalwart-awe-impressing ; And, by his uniform-ity of dressing, He was a live epistle, read of all men ; His old clothes even e'er did loudly call men To quick repentance. 'Twas an inspiration-
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So many thought-that gave the information To Elder Jones, and taught him to prepare them And wear his clothes as holy angels wear them. And some there were who held, when he ascended To Zion's heights, by angel guides attended, The clothes he had on earth and wore to meetin' Were just the thing to walk the golden street in.
In those good days, before we'd heard of "Station" A circuit would have made a "right smart" nation; And Quart'ly Conf'rence was its parliament, And Elder Jones its august president.
The preachers and officials gathered round him, And, with their solemn homage, meekly crowned him ; For he portentous questions thus propounded- "Any complaints ? Appeals? Reports?"-then bounded Off to the finances -- 'twas kind o' funny : His questionin' was sure to end on money ! And, when his twenty dollars down they paid him, A peaceful smile his face was e'er arrayed in. True, some there were who'd sometimes make sug- gestions, --
"Why can't our preacher ask these quart'ly questions, And preach the quart'ly sermons? Cui bono ?" But our wise Elder always answered, "no, no!"
Jones preached, on Saturdays, an exhortation Proportioned to his little congregation. He thought it vain to aim his longest arrows, Or fire a cannon, at a few cock sparrows.
But people thronged from near and far for Sunday,
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And sang and shouted, oftentimes, till Monday. On these occasions, Elder Jones would load up His preachin' gun until it nearly blowed up In firin' off ; and when he got good aim Upon the crowd, he always brought down game. He measured six feet high and weighed two hundred; And, with the "rousements" up, he fairly thundered, And thundered on, till multitudes, by littles, Convicted were of their great need for-victuals ; Nor did he cease till many hundred sinners Were penitently prayin' for their-dinners !
And when at last the " Amen" came, the meetin' Doxologied, and made tracks for the eatin'. The Elder led the way to Brother Pickens', Where he was sure to find the best fat chickens, And other things to suit-all to his notion ; And here, for full an hour, he paid devotion At Epicurus' shrine, till nature, too full For comfort was ; and then, with visage rueful, He left the scene, a sad and vanquished hero,- Enthusiasm and zeal all gone to Zero,- And smoked his pipe, and dozed the time away Before the big, log fire the live-long day. Sometimes between his naps, if it were handy, For stomach's sake, he'd take a little brandy. Our Elder was a gentleman polite ; And, oftentimes, it was a jolly sight At Conference, to see him shakin' hands ;- Gath'rin' the preachers into little bands,
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To while away a leisure hour in smokin', Meanwhile amusin' them with drollest jokin', Until they all a noble fellow thought him, And generous obeisance gladly brought him ; They said " Amen" to all his views and notions, And voted "aye" on all his Conf'rence motions.
The Gen'ral Conf'rence year was the occasion Of our good Elder's highest animation And most polite attentions. Bowin', smilin', He captured all, with winsome ways beguilin' But on the Conf'rence floor, our Elder rose Resplendent, in the sight of friends and foes; And represented all his territory, And told the tale of his own fame and glory With glowing tongue. And when the Bishop called The names upon his District list enrolled ; He answer made in eulogy most glowin', Until, if heroes might be made by blowin', Not Paul or Peter e'er were half the wonder As Elder Jones' modern sons of thunder :- Not one but ought the Church to represent, And to the Gen'ral Conference be sent. But, gen'rous souls ! while conscious of their merit, Each hoped he would the Eldership inherit; And waited patiently to pick these bones When he should wear the crown of Brother Jones. Thus, our good Elder's sugar-coated talkin' Sent him the streets of New York town to walkin', While all his glorious preachers took their stations, And starved along on deferred expectations.
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