USA > Indiana > Discipline of the Society of friends, of Indiana Yearly Meeting, 1854 > Part 4
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DEFAMATION AND DETRACTION.
DEFAMATION AND DETRACTION.
As the manifest tendency of the mischievous spirit of tale-bearing and detraction, is to lay waste the unity of Society, by disseminating discord and strife among brethren and neighbors ; Friends are enjoined to watch over themselves and each other, in order to discourage and suppress every appearance of such dispositions. The order prescribed by our blessed Lord should be strictly observed in every case of apprehended injury, viz. " If thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone : if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother. But if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses, ev- ery word may be established. And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the church : but if he neglect to hear the church, let him be unto thee as an heathen man and a publican." (Matt. xviii. 15, 16, 17.)
It is further directed, that, in whomsoever this weak- ness appear, it may be immediately checked ; and if any give way to it, to the obvious injury of the repu- tation or interest of others, let them be faithfully ad- monished, by elders, overseers, or other concerned Friends ; and if they persist, or cannot be prevailed with to give due satisfaction, the Preparative, and (if expedient) Monthly meetings should be informed of it, and treat further with them; when, if this also fail to produce the desired effect, they should be dis- owned.
Should any offenders in these respects shelter them- selves under a pretence that they say no more than they have heard from others, but refuse to discover who those are, such should in like manner be treated with as tale-bearers, and testified against.
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DISCIPLINE AND MEETINGS FOR DISCIPLINE.
DISCIPLINE AND MEETINGS FOR DISCIPLINE.
The existence of our Meetings for Discipline hav- ing, on experience, been found extensively beneficial, it is earnestly recommended that they may be main- tained in that authority wherein they were established ; for, where any have been negligent in attending them, or opposed to their usefulness, it has been perceived that carnality and spiritual death have been the con- sequence.
Where any transgress the rules of our Discipline, they should, without partiality, be admonished, and sought in the spirit of love and divine charity, so that it may be seen by all, that the restoring dispositions of meekness and christian affection abound, before church censure takes place ; that a gospel spirit is the spring and motive of all our performances, as well in discipline as in worship.
The connection and subordination of our Meetings for Discipline are thus : Preparative meetings are ac- countable to the Monthly ; Monthly to the Quarterly ; and Quarterly to the Yearly Meeting; so that if the Yearly Meeting be at any time dissatisfied with the proceedings of any inferior meeting : or a Quarterly meeting, with the proceedings of any of its Monthly meetings; or a Monthly meeting with the proceed- ings of any of its Preparative meetings ; such meet- ings ought, with readiness and meekness, to render accounts thereof when required ; and correct or ex- punge any of their minutes, according to the direction of the superior meeting.
No Quarterly meeting should be set up or laid down, without the consent of the Yearly Meeting ; no Month- ly meeting without the consent of the Quarterly meet- ing ; nor any Preparative or other meeting for busi- ness or worship, until application to the Monthly meet- ing be first made ; and when there approved, the con- sent of the Quarterly meeting be also obtained. Also, no meeting for worship, intended to consist of Friends belonging to two or more Monthly meetings,
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DISCIPLINE AND MEETINGS FOR DISCIPLINE.
shall be established, until the proposal be offered to, and approved by, those Monthly meetings, and the consent of their respective Quarterly meeting or meet- ings be obtained ; when the meeting proposed is opened, it should be attended by a few solid Friends, deputed by each of the said Monthly meetings. And if at any time it be thought expedient that a Prepara- tive meeting should be held at the same place, the consent of the said Monthly and Quarterly meetings should be in like manner applied for and obtained ; and the Preparative meeting should be annexed to any of those Monthly meetings, as may appear most! likely to conduce to the benefit and convenience of the individuals who compose it, and the advantage of Society.
Monthly meetings may be at liberty to indulge! meetings under the care of a committee, whose duty it shall be to report every three months the situation and number of such, which report the Monthly meet- ing should forward to the Quarterly meeting : but no marriage shall be consummated at such meeting until it is known to the Quarter.
It is directed that a book be provided by every Monthly and Quarterly meeting, and fair records kept therein of their proceedings. Monthly meetings, par- ticularly, are advised to attend to, and finish all such business with care and dispatch, that it may, at no time suffer by improper delay ; and if any case under consideration, prove too weighty or difficult for them to determine, they should apply to their respective Quarterly meetings for assistance ; or, if the circum- stances be such as to require it, refer it thereto by minute.
It is the conclusion of the Yearly Meeting, as a general rule in all cases, that where any Monthly or Quarterly meeting has occasion for, and requests cop- ies of any papers, minutes, or records of another Monthly or Quarterly meeting, the same should be accordingly granted.
Where any difference happens among Friends, and
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DISCIPLINE AND MEETINGS FOR DISCIPLINE.
he same be entered in any Monthly or Quarterly neeting book, if the parties, or either of them think hat copies of such entries may be useful, or neces- ary for them, and request the same; such Monthly or Quarterly meetings shall have a discretionary power o give or refuse such copies, according to the circum- tances and motives attending.
After a complaint against a member is entered on he minutes of a meeting for discipline, he or she should not be permitted to sit in any of our meetings or discipline, until the case is determined, and the neeting satisfied.
And it is the judgment of the Yearly meeting that elders, overseers, and others concerned for the sup- port of the discipline, exercise a care that our meet- ings for business be kept select, not permitting those who have not a right of membership among us to sit n those meetings.
It is directed, that a suitable number of Friends be appointed in each Monthly meeting, Representatives to attend the service of the Quarterly meetings, with such reports in writing, signed by the clerk, as may be given them in charge: also, that at least four Friends oe appointed, for the like service, in each Quarterly meeting, to attend the Yearly Meeting. And it is earnestly advised and desired, that all Friends who submit to these important services, may be punctual in their attendance; or if prevented by sickness, or any other unavoidable occurrence, that they may be careful to send information thereof; also that those who are under appointments to attend meetings as representatives, do not withdraw therefrom before the conclusion of such meetings, without obtaining the consent thereof.
It is also directed, that Friends keep an account of such sufferings to which they may be subjected from the world, maintaining those testimonies of truth, which we believe it is our duty peculiarly to bear : and that Monthly meetings use suitable endeavors that such accounts may be collected and transmitted to the
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DISCIPLINE AND MEETINGS FOR DISCIPLINE.
Quarterly meetings ; and when there approved, that Quarterly meetings forward them annually to the Meeting for Sufferings.
Children, whose parents have been members after 0 marriage, or married according to our order, and one of them disowned before the birth of their children, a are to be considered as members. But where only p one parent shall have been received, the children are se not to be considered as having a right of member- ship, unless their parents should request for them, in which case it is left to the discretion of Monthly meet- ings.
If any member of our religious society shall discover so much weakness of mind as to apply to those called " jugglers, or fortune-tellers, or to those who by pre- tending to any art or skill whatever profess a knowl- edge of future events, hidden transactions, or where things lost or stolen may be found ; or if any of our members shall use or pretend to such art or skill ; un- der a just abhorrence of such delusion, it is directed that they be speedily treated with, and if they do not manifest a due sense of their evil conduct, that they be disowned.
A committee should be annually appointed, in each of our Quarterly and Monthly meetings, to nominate Clerks ; which may afford opportunity for their being seasonably changed, and more of our qualified mem- bers exercised in those services.
As the use and design of Preparative meetings are, in general, to digest and prepare business, as occasion may require, which may be proper to be laid before Monthly meetings, Friends ought to be careful there- in, not to occasion unnecessary delays, or undertake to decide on any business which properly belongs to Monthly meetings. And when it is concluded to carry any cases forward, they should be entered in writing, and forwarded by direction of the meeting, by some suitable Friend or Friends named for that purpose, or by the clerk, to the Monthly meeting : proper notes whereof should be carefully preserved by clerks of Preparative meetings.
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GAMING AND DIVERSIONS.
GAMING AND DIVERSIONS.
Friends are fervently exhorted to watch carefully over the youth, and others of our Society, who may be so inclined, to prevent them by affectionate counsel and brotherly admonition, from frequenting stage- plays, horse-races, music, dancing, and other vain sports and amusements ; also, in a peculiar manner, from being concerned in lotteries, wagering, or any kind of gaming ; it being abundantly obvious, that those practices have a tendency to alienate the mind from the counsel of divine wisdom-and to foster those impure dispositions which lead to debauchery and wickedness. If, therefore, any of our members fall into any of these practices, and cannot be prevailed with by private labor to decline them, the Monthly meetings to which they belong, should be informed thereof, and if they cannot be reclaimed by further labor, should proceed to disown them.
It being obvious that the public entertainments, and the vain and ostentatious processions of those called Free Masons, are altogether inconsistent with our re- ligious profession : if therefore any of our members shall join therein, or unite in membership with them, they are to be treated with as in other cases of dis- orderly conduct, and if after tender admonition and brotherly labor they cannot be dissuaded therefrom, they are to be disowned.
LAW.
If any of our members be complained of for with- holding a just debt, they should be tenderly urged to payment ; and if this be unavailing, they should be treated with as in other cases of disorderly conduct ; and if any appear unable to satisfy their creditors, they should be advised to call them together without loss of time, and submit the state of their affairs to their inspection ; when, if the creditors apprehend a surrender of the debtor's effects necessary, they ought
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LAW.
to consent, and if they refuse so to do, the Monthly meetings of which they are members, should be in- or formed ; when, if the party still persists in refusing, th they should be disowned without too long delay. Ac
But, if any in such difficult circumstances, manifesti th an honest intention, and shall offer their all to their g creditors, without preference, let compassion and aid se be extended to them as brethren, and objects of chris-ffo tian charity ; having done what they could, no more, to for the present can be justly expected from them. Yet it is the judgment of the Yearly Meeting, that if persons so failing in their circumstances should at any time thereafter be favored with ability to pay off their deficiencies, justice will require it of them, notwith- standing a composition with, and legal discharge from their creditors may have been obtained. This is how- ever not meant to furnish any with a pretext for ad- vancing such claims, while persons so deficient are S honestly laboring to retrieve their circumstances, nor until it shall clearly appear to their respective Monthly meetings, or judicious committees thereof, that suffi- cient ability is arrived at ; when, if they be requested to comply, and persist in refusing, the said meetings should proceed to disown them.
And it is the judgment of the Yearly Meeting, that if any members of our religious society, disregarding the gospel order prescribed by our Discipline, shall arrest or sue at law other members, (not being under such a necessity so to do, as has been explained un- der article Arbitration,) they, in so doing, do depart from the peaceable principles of which we make pro- fession : and if on being treated with by the Monthly meetings to which they belong, they cannot be pre- vailed with to withdraw the suit, and pay the costs thereof, they should be disowned.
MARRIAGES.
It is affectionately desired by the Yearly Meeting, that all young or unmarried persons in membership
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MARRIAGES.
with us, previously to their making any procedure in order to marriage, do seriously and humbly wait upon the Lord for his counsel and direction in this important concern ; and when favored with satisfactory clearness therein, they should early acquaint their parents or guardians with their intentions, and wait for their con- sent : thus, preservation from the dangerous bias of forward and uncertain affections, would be experienced, to the real benefit of the parties, and the comfort of their friends. And it is earnestly recommended to Friends, that they tenderly and carefully watch over the youth, and extend seasonable caution and admo- nition, relative to this interesting subject, as occasion may require.
A single person about to marry at a distance from home, is to procure from the Monthly meeting to which he belongs a certificate of his right of member- ship, and clearness from any other person in respect to marriage engagements ; and, in applying for such certificate, the name of the woman should be given to the Monthly meeting. He should also obtain the con- sent of his parents or guardians therein ; and none are to be permitted to join themselves in marriage un- til such certificates are received, and the consent of their parents or guardians thereto, be also signified, in person or by writing, where it is practicable, or can be reasonably obtained. But as there is tenderness due to children and wards, as well as to parents and guardians, it is not to be understood that marriages are to be prohibited, on account of improper objec- tions on the part of the latter ; but that Monthly meet- ings exercise righteous judgment in such cases.
No Monthly meeting is to permit any marriage to be proposed therein sooner than one year after the decease of a former husband or wife.
Marriage between a man and his deceased wife's sister, or between a woman and her deceased husband's brother, not being, in the opinion and feeling of many concerned Friends, of good savor and report, it is ad- vised that the indulgence of such feelings and conduct
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MARRIAGES.
as are likely to lead to that result, be guarded against in due season.
The Yearly Meeting being tender concerning mar- riage, desires that no misdemeanor be treasured up against a person, until the time of presenting mar- riage to the meeting, and then disclosed, though per- haps long before done and known, to those who so object to it at that time, which being a wrong thing, should be checked and prohibited in all meetings.
It is recommended that according to the ancient and decent practice amongst Friends, they take care that such men and women Friends as make or receive proposals of marriage, do not dwell in the same house, from the commencement of such concern until the marriage is accomplished : that no grounds may be furnished for evil reports or surmises, but our holy pro- fession be maintained unsullied in the view of men.
No marriages are to be accomplished in, or imme- diately after, any of our Monthly meetings, or other meetings of business. And it is desired, that on these occasions, Friends in affluent circumstances, particu- larly, may be careful to set a becoming and encour- aging example of moderation ; avoiding unnecessarily expensive entertainments, and large companies. (How much better would such superfluous expense be em- ployed in relieving the necessities of the poor,) and especially guarding against inviting such as guests who are not likely to conform to the order of our religious society.
Let such of our members be admonished, as keep company in order for marriage, with persons not of our Society, or with any bound servants or apprentices, without the leave of their masters or mistresses ; or who are either present themselves, or consent to their children's being present at marriages performed by a priest. And where any are present at the marriage, or marriage entertainment of a member, accomplished contrary to our order, they are to be treated with, and where they connot be brought to a sense of their error, let them be disowned.
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MARRIAGES.
Where parents or guardians have approved the visits or addresses of a man (a member of our reli- gious society) to any of their children or those under their care, they ought not to retract the same, with- out giving such reasons as shall be satisfactory to the Monthly meeting whereto they belong.
For the accomplishment of Marriage, the following order is to to be observed : The parties are to inform the men's and women's Monthly meeting, in writing, under their hands, that they intend marriage with each other. The notice should be minuted in each meeting, and two women Friends are to be apppoint- ed to make inquiry respecting the woman, and if the parties are both members of the same meeting, two men Friends should also be appointed to make inquiry respecting the clearness of the man, in regard to any other marriage engagements. If the parties have parents or guardians, their consent should be ex- pressed, or produced in writing; or if the man be a member of another Monthly meeting, the consent of his parents, if he have any, should be produced in writing, either then or at the next meeting, with a certificate from his Monthly meeting of his clearness from other like engagements.
If the woman be a widow, having children, two or more Friends should be appointed, in the meeting of which she is a member, to see that the rights of her children be legally secured.
At the next meeting, if the committees report that careful inquiry has been made, and no obstruction to the further proceedings of the parties appear, the meetings are then to leave them at liberty to accom- plish their marriage according to our rules, and ap- point two Friends of each sex, to attend and see that good order is observed.
Marriages are to be solemnized at the usual week- day meetings for worship, and at the meeting house to which the woman belongs.
Towards the conclusion of the said meeting, the parties are to stand up, and taking each other by the
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MARRIAGES.
hand, are to declare in an audible and solemn manner to the following effect : the man first, viz. "Friends, in the presence of the Lord, and before this assembly, I take D. E. to be my wife; promising with divine assistance, to be unto her a loving and faithful husband, until death shall separate us ;" and then the woman in like manner: "Friends, in the presence of the Lord, and before this assembly, I take A. B. to be my hus- band; promising, with divine assistance, to be unto him a loving and faithful wife, until death shall sepa- rate us."
The marriage certificate is then to be audibly read by some proper person, the express names and descrip- tion of the parties being first inserted. They are then to sign the same : the man first, then the woman, adopting the name of her husband : then the relatives and such others present as are disposed to subscribe their names as witnesses.
It is further directed, that the said marriage be ac- complished decently, gravely, and weightily, and that the parties themselves, their parents and others con- cerned, do take care, at the houses or places where they go, after the solemnization is over, that no reproach arise, or occasion of offense be given, by any intem- perate or immoderate feasting or drinking, or by any unseemly, wanton, or rude discourses or actions; but that all behave with such sobriety as becomes a people fearing God; and that the company retire to their homes in seasonable time. And if anything to the contrary be observed, the overseers, or other concerned Friends present, ought as speedily as they conveniently can, to take such aside who make any breach upon good order, and in an affectionate manner admonish them to a better behaviour; and the said overseers are to make report to the Monthly meeting, whether good order has been observed, and take care that the Marriage Certi- ficate be returned, in order to be recorded.
The form of which Certificate shall be as follows:
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MARRIAGES.
Whereas, A. B. of - in the county of -, in the state of son of C. and H. B. of -; and D. E. daughter of F. and G. E. of -- having declared their intentions of marriage with each other, before a Monthly meeting of the religious society of Friends, held at (where the parties are under the care of parents or guardians, unless in the case of unreasonable objections, add) and having consent of parents or guardians concerned, (as the case may be) their proposals of mar- riage were allowed by said meeting. These are to certify whom it may concern, that for the full accomplishment of their said intentions, this - day of the --- month, in the year of our Lord -- , they, the said A. B. and D. E. appeared in a public meeting of the said people, held at --- aforesaid ; and the said A. B. taking the said D. E. by the hand, declared that he took her to be his wife, promising, with divine assistance, to be unto her a loving and faithful husband, until death should separate them : and then the said D. E. did in like man- ner declare, that she took him the said A. B. to be her husband, prom- ising, with divine assistance, to be unto him a loving and faithful wife, until death should separate them. And moreover, they, the said A. B. and D. E. (she according to the custom of marriage adopting the name of her husband) did, as a further confirmation thereof, then and there, to these presents set their hands.
A. B. D. B.
And we, whose names are also hereunto subscribed, being present at the solemnization of the said marriage have, as witnesses thereto, set our hands the day and year above written.
It is the judgment of the Yearly Meeting that mem- bers of our Society cannot, consistently with our relig- ious profession, avail themselves of any legal privi- lege in dissolving the marriage contract.
That the marriages of persons too nearly related may, as much as in us lies, be prevented, it is the con- clusion of the Yearly Meeting that no marriage be- tween any so near as first cousins, nor the children of half brothers or half sisters, shall be permitted among us.
In relation therefore to this interesting testimony, it is the affectionate desire of the Yearly Meeting, that where there is occasion to apprehend that any of our members are likely to join in marriage with persons thus related, or with those who are not in membership with us; or that any are about to depart from our de- liberate, fair, and honorable order of marriage, by which that right which belongs to Society to investi- gate the clearness of the parties, relative to the con-
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MARRIAGES.
sent of their parents or guardians, as also the further necessary inquiry, how far such individuals are clear of other marriage engagements, and of all clandestine proceedings whatever, together with that particular and religious mode of accomplishing marriage, estab- lished by us, under the influence of divine wisdom, are wholly avoided and disregarded, that elders, overseers, and other religiously concerned Friends, considering it as a duty, be engaged to take early opportunities for ad- vising and admonishing them against such procedure, (at least two Friends uniting in such service;) but should the party or parties depart from our well known and established order, their right of membership in our Society, is thereupon to cease; and Monthly meetings are to be informed thereof, through the Overseers and Preparative meeting, and make a record thereof, and to endeavor to have the party furnished with a copy of the minute in the case, properly signed by the clerk. But if such should afterwards incline to return to ;
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