USA > Indiana > DeKalb County > Auburn > Follies, 1922 > Part 6
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"I wouldn't;" said Alice, mischiev- ously, "I would make a dash after the five dollar bill."
She (confidentially)-"He said
I was a poem."
He (sarcastically)-"Did he scan your feet ?"
-()-
Did Moses sleep five in a bed when he slept with his forefathers?
-()-
Warren McNabb (in History)-"He sat on the committee sixteen days, and only said two words."
-()-
"Mr. Beecher, how do you account for the fact that I found a piece of rubber tire in one of the sausages I bought here last week?"
"My dear madam ,that only goes to show that the motor car is re- placing the horse everywhere." -()-
Remark on the way home from basketball tourney: Edith Ashleman -"Did you see those two ladies in the gym, laughing on one side?"
DRY CLEANING - PRESSING - REPAIRING
DYEING
ECONOMY CLEANING
Phone 333
Goods Called For and Delivered
Quality Is Our First Name
Style Is Our Middle Name
Service Is Our Last
You Always Get Them All at
BISHOP-McBRIDE CO.
Lige Heating and
Ventilating Co.
M. Hebel & Company
GROCERY, MEAT MAR- KET AND BAKED GOODS
Phone 86
Auburn, Indiana
:
Martha F .- "Josephine, did you ever hear the story of the egg and the coffee?"
Josephine-"No; what is it?" Martha-"That settles it." -()-
Dorothy George (in English)- "Washington is called the father of our country; Lincoln, its surveyor." ( Savior.) -()-
Miss McCaslin (in first year Span- ish )-"What is the organ of smell?" Phil H .- "The feet, teacher dear." -()- Martha F .- "Oh, Girls! I have a date tonight."
J. F .- "Who with ?" M. F .- "The dentist." -()-
There is meter in poetry, There is meter in tone,
But the best meter of all
Is to meet 'er alone.
'STAR BRAND SHOES ARE BETTER"
For Men's, Women's, Boys' and Girls' Shoes
NEBELUNG'S
The Popular Priced Store is the Place to Buy Your Shoes AUBURN, INDIANA
BAKER'S GROCERY
Located in New Masonic Temple Building. The Grocery that Features
QUALITY AND SERVICE INDIVIDUAL DELIVERY
Phone 25
In the Class of '22, and all future classes of the A. H. , mr extend hearty ron- gratulations and wishes for
Auburn Post Card Afg. Cn.
Dr. J. E. Graham
DENTIST AND X-RAY
SPECIALIST
401 South Main St.
AUBURN, INDIANA
Did You Ever Hear the Like?
I didn't know we were to take that far.
I lost my book.
I had my outline all written, and left it at home. (Inferring that you study at home.
I didn't get that far.
I studied the wrong lesson. Aw! lessee. I did know that. -()-
Elizabeth C .- "Oh, Helen! Can you tell me what love is?"
Helen D .- "Why, yes, Elizabeth, you poor child! It is something little girls play with when they are too old for dolls."
-()-
Senior-"Did you know that stu- dents in this school always eat more than the teachers?"
Freshie-"No; why is that?"
Senior-"Because there are more of them."
Mr. McKenney-"Why were you late again ?"
James Little-"It's so icy. Every step I took, I slipped back two."
Mr. Mc .- "Then how did you get here?"
J. L .- "I started back home." -()-
Peggy K. (while out riding in an auto)-"Did you have this car over- alled ?" (Overhauled.) -()-
Kutz-"What's the best thing for water in the knee?"
Helen B .- "Wear pumps." -()- Miss Thrush-"What kind of reign followed ?"
Myron W .- "Wet rain." -()-
Lady (inquiring at a book store)- "Have you 'Lamb's Tales'?" Phil H .- "This is a book store; not a meat market."
THE HOME OF "SOCIETY BRAND" CLOTHES
And High Grade Men's Fur- nishings and Hats
Kaye Klothing Ko.
Auburn American Security Company
CAPITAL STOCK, $100,000.00
Masonic Temple Building
AUBURN, INDIANA
D ILGARDS O NOT ISAPPOINT
GO TO
Ray C. Dilgard
FURNITURE AND UNDERTAKING
Auburn, Indiana
HUBBARD'S
FOR
NONE BETTER
Frank H. Hubbard
Signs of Spring
Freshmen are beginning to show faint signs of intelligence. Marbles have already been col- lected by the teacher. -()-
Miss Thrush-"What were the chief interest in Lanier's life ?"
Frances H. (misunderstanding the question)-"At sunrise." -()- Wanted
Wanted-A ton of brains for the solid Geometry class .- Mr. Gray.
Wanted-Enough energy to keep awake in English class .- Humpy C. Wanted-Some sleep on Monday .- All of us.
-()-
Country Customer-"I would like to see some silk hosiery."
Clerk-"High school will be out in just ten minutes. Do you want to wait here?"
Tommy-"How many subjects are you carrying, Geng?"
Geng-"I'm carrying one and drag- ging three."
-()-
"I thought you had the quiz down cold,"
And thus replied our hero:
"Well, didn't I have it cold enough? The grade I got was zero." -()- Mr. Weathers (in Senior History) -"Mary, what do they manufacture in the state prisons?"
Mary Goe-"Furniture ' " W .- "What kind of furniture ?" M. G .- "Shoes."
-()-
While discussing the awfulness of fire in English Business, Mr. Vass said, "I know how it is to be put out of a nice, warm place, because my father's home was burned Christmas." Alice Ballard-"Too hot? Huh!"
A GOOD SILENT PARTNER IS A BANK BOOK
AUBURN STATE BANK
Auburn, Indiana
PROMPT AND SAFE YOUR CHECK IS YOUR RECEIPT
WATCH FOR NEWSPAPER ANNOUNCEMENTS
JUSTRITE
ICE CREAM AND SHERBETS QUALITY AND SERVICE THE BEST SPECIAL CREAMS FOR ANY AND ALL OCCASIONS Order Through Your Dealer, but Insist on
JUSTRITE
We Invite Your Inspection of Our Plant Phone 68 ALSO MANUFACTURERS OF CRYSTAL ICE
The
Au Auburn Foundry
L
THE
Brandon Lumber
Company
QUALITY AND SERVICE
Phone 150
BAUER'S BAKERY
FOR
Quality Baked Goods
Good Old Fashioned Home
Made Bread and Cakes
"What two things are helping man- kind to get up in the world," asked Mr. McKenney in Sociology.
Murmur-"The alarm clock and the step-ladder."
-()-
Marian L .- "When I get 95% in depor'ment, I'm going to commit sui- cide.
Gelly W .- "Why ?"
M. L .- "Just because there won't be anybody good enough for me to associate with in this school."
-()-
A young woman entering a drug store said: "I bought three or four hams here a month ago, and they were just fine. Have you any more like them?"
Yes, ma'am," replied the clerk, there are ten of those hams hanging up there now."
"Well, if you're sure they're off the same pig, I'll take three of them."
DeKalb Mortgage Loan Company
AUBURN, INDIANA
fort Wayne
Company:
Designers, Engrauers, * Electrotypers
Makers of Dalf-tones and Zinc Etchings for all kinds of High Class Printing
Fort Wayne, Ind,
Miss Armstrong-"Have you read all your Latin?"
Howard Sellers-"No, ma'am."
Miss A .- "Have you read the Re- view ?"
Howard S .- "No, ma'am." Miss A .- "Well, what have you read ?"
Howard S .- "I have red hair." -()-
Harry S. (coming to the desk)- "You ain't got any book layin' around here with poetry in it, have you ?"
Teacher-"Well, I don't know; maybe so. (Picks up a Rhetoric.)
Harry-"Well, we're to have ten examples of 'smiles' in English." (Meaning, of course, similes. -()- Miss Wiley-"What are the Knights of Bath in England ?"
Brilliant Freshie-"Saturday night, s'pose, same as here. Why?"
THE JUDSON
Confectionery
WHERE QUALITY COUNTS
-()-
JACK BLAND'S
4 BARBERS --- 4
West Seventh Street
-()-
Thomas Metutchen Polangus McPhee Could translate Caesar before he was three.
On his journey through high school his marks were all A's,
And his Senior class pin shone with a blaze.
But Jimmy Sylvester Yosakerry Duno Knew less about Caesar at seventy- one.
On his trial at high school his av- erage was F.
To the word "Education" poor Jimmy was deaf.
Now a decade has passed, and our Thomas McPhee,
For the sake of a meal pawned his gold Senior pin.
But poor little Jimmy has a much harder lot- He's enjoying a cruise in his new steam yacht.
Work Will Win for Those Who Work Well
-0 --
Having done it yourself, you are in a position to help others.
To have happiness is to deserve it yourself by giving it to others.
George W. Kuhlman
Miss Thrush (in Senior English)- "Now I don't want any more talking during this test-not even to your- self."
Alice Ballard-"That's a bad habit." -()- Mr. Mc .- "Is that formula right, Geneva?"
Geneva A .- "I suppose so, or you wouldn't have put it on."
Mr. Mc .- "Thanks, Geneva! Come around pay day, and I'll give you a quarter."
-()-
Warren McNabb (phoning Eillene Mc.)-"Have you anything on this evening ?"
Eillene-"That's rather personal, but I have."
First Person-"Where was Peggy K. when the lights went out?"
Se ond Person-"In church." First-"Who with?"
Second-"Howney B."
FORD
Authorized Sales and Service
Station
For Ford Cars and Fordson
Tractors
DeKalb Sales and
Service Co.
Auburn, Indiana
Just Poetry Last night as I lay sleeping, A sweet note touched my ear; Twas a dear little bird a peeping A song of joy and cheer. -()-
Lenore S .- "What was the hardest thing you found in learning to drive an automobile?"
Jane Eagles-"A stone wall." -()-
Miss Wiley (lecturing to her Eng- lish pupils about forgetting their books)-"What would you think of a soldier who went to war without a book? It is the same with a pupil who goes to class without a weapon." -()- Tenderfoot-"When you go home tonight, don't walk over the log across the brook."
First Class Scout-"Why ?" Tenderfoot-"Because I took it away."
"THE BEST IS NONE TOO GOOD"
COAL! COAL!
Poultry Feeds for Young and Old Farm, Garden and Flower Seeds Lawn Seeds
Sheep Manure for Lawns and Gardens
Bird Cages and Bird Supplies We Have But the Best
Yesbera Coal Co.
Phone 85
Auburn, Ind.
SHEET METAL CONTRACTING
and
WARM AIR HEATING
"If we haven't it, we can make it."
OLINGER SHEET METAL WORKS
E. 9th St. Phone 3-12
Auburn
Mr. Hornaday-"Your answer is about as clear as mud." Forest S .- "Well, that covers ground, doesn't it?" -()- If I only were a bee, And could fly all o'er the town, All would envy me, And I'd never wear a frown. -()-
Father-"My son is reckless, care- less and indifferent of consequences." Jane-"Good heavens! I didn't know you had made a taxi driver of him."
-()- Dale W .- "There's someone run- ning away with your girl." Marion M .- "What's he running for?"
-()-
Leo B .- "I could die dancing." Dady N .- "Yes, but suffocation is such an unpleasant death."
EFFICIENCY AND EYE STRAIN
-0-
No person can possibly do his or her best work if suffering from strained eyes. A brief examination by our methods would clear up this matter for you, once and for all.
-0 ---
ED. W. HICKS
Mr. Gray-"Harold, what do you expect to be when you get out of high school?"
Geng .- "A happy old man." -()- "Did you ever take a bicycle trip?" Marian McC .- "Once."
"Where did you go?" "Straight over my neck." -()-
First-"Woman is more beautiful than man."
Second-"Naturally."
First-"No; artificially." -()-
Sweet Young Thing-"Why, I can't marry you; you're penniless." Young Hopeful-"That's nothing. The czar of Russia was Nicholas." -()-
Geng-"Will you give me a place in your heart?"
Marian-"Yes, if you can pay the rent."
Mr. Gray (in Geom.)-"Now suppose you should subtract sixty pounds from your weight-"
Jimmy L. (interrupting)-"I'd not weigh anything if I did."
-()-
Miss Thrush-"I would like to know how those chairs got out of the line." Alice B .- "They have four legs." Miss Thrush-"Please sit where the chairs are."
-()-
Eillene M .- "You didn't know who I was this morning, did you?" Jane-"No; who were you?" -()- F. W .- "He's wandering in his mind."
M. T .- "That's all right; he won't go far."
-()-
Dewey-"What are you going to the show for?"
Eddie-"Nothing; I got a pass."
The Auburn Baking
Company
The Home of
Cremo Bread
One of the cleanest and most sanitary bakeries in the state. Always open for inspection.
Gene B .- "Do you want to see something swell?"
Gene C .- "Yes."
Gene B .- "Yes? Put a sponge in water."
-()- Miss Dowell-"This piece I just played was Handel's Largo."
Iris Ladd-"I can remember the largo, but I can't get the Handel part." -()-
Lott S .- "Don't you think my new suit is a perfect fit?" Geneva A .- "Fit! Why, I think it's a perfect convulsion." -()-
Mr. Weathers (after a lecture)- "That isn't what I said. That is what someone said who knew what he was talking about."
-()- "Where are you going with that hammer ?"
"Going to crack a joke."
W. J. Ashleman Co. Y
for
H. O. WILLIAMS
QUEENSWARE
NOTIONS
THE ABSTRACTER
WALL PAPER
WINDOW SHADES
Real Estate and Fire Insurance
PAINTS, ETC.
West Seventh Street
AUBURN INDIANA
FIVE AND TEN CENT GOODS
North of Public Square
F. M. Hines, M. D.
L. N. Geisinger, M. D. D. M. Hines, M. D. A. V. Hines, M. D.
DRS. HINES AND GEISINGER
Office Corner Main and Seventh Streets
AUBURN, INDIANA Phone 275
Mr. Weathers-"I got $5 for my latest book."
M. Thrush-"From whom?" F. W .- "The express company; they lost it."
-()-
Gareth J .- "Do you know why your neck reminds me of a typewriter ?" Sylvia B .- "No." G. J .- "Underwood." -()-
Gareth J .- "What will you give me if I jump off that roof?"
Iris L .- "Oh, plesase don't, Gareth! You might hurt youself, and I would cry."
-()-
Mr. Weathers-"The constitution of the U. S. is the law of the land. We need laws in everything. Eu- gene, what do you play according to in basketball?"
Gene-“The constitution of the U. S."
EVERY YOUNG MAN
Should bring his clothes to us for pressing clean- ing and repairing.
We produce in every gar- ment the natural body shape.
Our pressing method is a sanitary one.
GUY C. MILLER
FACIAL MASSAGE MANICURING SHAMPOOING
The Vanity Shoppe
GOODWIN CORSETS FANCY BRASSIERES
110 ELEVENTH ST. EAST Phone 163-J
Coxey Koscht has found a new use for goloshes. Don't tell anybody, but we think it's a rain barrel.
-()-
Mr. Weathers-"Give a concrete act of the government after the declara- tion of war."
Murmur --- "Built a fort." -()-
Skinny (being one of several boys to receive topics for history)-"Why don't you give some of the girls a topic ?"
Mr. Weathers-"I'm trying to." -()-
Mr. Vass-"Wesley, you and John take the victrola downstairs."
W. B .- "Why don't you wind it up and let it run down?" -()-
Louise D. (at the Sweets)-"Oh! I want a banana split, but I don't want any bananas in it."
Miss Thrush-"What is worse than to be misunderstood ?"
Humpy C .- "To have it rain soup and have a fork in your hand." -()- DuVern G .- "Have you read 'Freck- les ?"
Myron W .- "Yes." D. G .- "How peculiar! Most peo- ple have brown ones." -()-
Mr. McIntyre (in Physics)-"Iris and Geraldine may work together, and Eillene and that" (pointing to Angilla S.)
Query-Since when have Seniors lost their identity and become things? -()- Mr. McIntyre-"What are you do- ing, Skeeter?" Skeeter-"Helping Charles." doing ?" Skeeter-"Nothing."
Spring Whispers
We Answer with
FASHION'S NEWEST MATERIALS IN MILLINERY
Jessie Prickett
The Auburn Handle
Company
AUBURN INDIANA
"Have you Washington Irving or John Greenleaf Whittier in your house, madam?" inquired the book agent.
"No," said the angry housewife, "we have not. I suppose, as usual, you've got the house mixed up with the boarding house next door." Bang!
-()-
Seven Wonders of A. H. S.
1. Helen Grogg's "white" sweater.
2. Marian B. Without Geng.
3. Dewey G. with a haircut
4. Mr. Weathers' lecturing.
5. Miss Eagles' seriousness.
6. Marian Link with her lesson.
7. Frances J. not saying, "Oh! Tootie!
-()-
LeNoir B .- "What makes a lamp chimney smoke?"
Humpy C .- "Because it don't chew."
BUY
Aunt Betty's Bread Baker's Bakery
Swartz & Batdorf
BEST QUALITY MEATS IN THE CITY
PRE - WAR PRICES
Here Once More
See Our
GAS RANGES
PRICED FROM $25.00 UP INDIANA FUEL AND LIGHT COMPANY
STUDEBAKER AUTOMOBILES
THE CAR THAT-
RIDES SMOOTHER ACCELERATES QUICKER OPERATES EASIER HAS MORE POWER ON HILLS HAS BETTER UPHOLSTER- ING
Ask Any Owner Ask for a Demonstration-It Is Convincing This Is Another STUDEBAKER Year
COYLE'S GARAGE Phone 166-JJ
1
AUBURN'S CHARACTER-BUILDING PLANT
O
0
THE END
-- PURPOSE --
Ich- Bi- Ligne ovo aime farger in dinur at
Schaab & Brother Company
JULY 81.
N. MANCHESTER,
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