USA > Indiana > The discipline of the Society of Friends, of Indiana Yearly Meeting, 1838 > Part 3
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After a charge against a member for disorderly conduct, is entered on the minutes of a meeting for Discipline, he or she should not be permitted to sit in any of our Meetings for Discipline, until the case is determined, and the meeting satisfied.
And it is the judgment of the Yearly Meeting that elders, overseers, and others concerned, for the support of the discipline, exercise a care that our mootinge for business be kept select, not per- mitting those who have not a right of membership among us to sit in those meetings.
It is directed, that a suitable number of Friends be appointed in each Monthly Meeting, representa- tives to attend the service of the Quarterly Meeting, with such reports in writing, signed by the clerk, as may be given them in charge: also, that at least four. Friends be appointed, for the like service, in each Quarterly Meeting, to attend the Yearly Meeting. And it is earnestly advised and desired, that all Friends who submit to these important services, may be punctual in their attendance; or if prevented by sickness, or any other unavoidable occurrence, that they be careful to send information thereof ; also, that those who are under appointments to at-
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DISCIPLINE AND MEETINGS FOR DISCIPLINE.
tend meetings as representatives, do not withdraw therefrom before the conclusion of such meetings, without obtaining the consent thereof.
It is also directed, that Friends keep an account of such sufferings to which they may be subjected from the world, maintaining those testimonies of truth, which we believe it is our duty peculiarly to bear: and that Monthly Meetings use suitable en- deavors, that such accounts may be collected and transmitted to the Quarterly Meetings; and when there approved, that Quarterly Meetings forward them annually to the Meeting for Sufferings.
Children whose parents have been members after marriage, or married according to our order, and one of them disowned before the birth of their chil- dren, are to be considered as members. But where only one parent shall have been received, the chil- dren are not to be considered as having a right of membership, unless their parents should request for them, in which case it is left to the discretion of Monthly Meetings.
If any member of our religious society shall dis- cover so much weakness of mind as to apply to those called Jugglers, or Fortune Tellere, or to those who by pretending to any art or skill what- ever profess a knowledge of future events, hidden transactions, or where things lost or stolen may be ' found; or if any of our members shall use or pre- tend to such art or skill; under a just abhorrence of such delusion, it is directed that they be speedily treated with, and if they do not manifest a due sense of their evil conduct, that they be disowned.
A committee should be annually appointed, in each of our Quarterly and Monthly Meetings, to nominate clerks; which may afford opportunity for their being seasonably changed, and more of our qualified members exercised in those services.
As the use and design of Preparative Meetings are, in general, to digest and prepare business as oc-
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510765
GAMING AND DIVERSIONS.
casion may require, which may be proper to be laid before Monthly Meetings; Friends ought to be careful therein, not to occasion unnecessary delays, or undertake to decide on any business which pro- perly belongs to Monthly Meetings; and when it is concluded to carry any cases forward, they should be entered in writing, and some suitable Friend or Friends named, to produce them to the Monthly Meeting: proper notes whereof should be carefully preserved by clerks of Preparative Meetings.
GAMING AND DIVERSIONS.
Friends are fervently exhorted to watch carefully over the youth, and others of our society, who may be so inclined, to prevent them by affectionate counsel and brotherly admonition, from frequenting stage-plays, horse-races, music, dancing, and other vain sports and amusements; also, in a particular manner, from being concerned in lotteries, wagering, or any kind of gaming; it being abundantly obvious, that those practices have a tendency to alienate the mind from the council of divine wisdom-and to foster those impure dispositions which lead to de- bauchery and wickedness. If, therefore, any of our members fall into either of these practices, and cannot be prevailed with by private labor to decline them, the Monthly Meetings to which they belong, should be informed thereof, and if they cannot be reclaimed by further labor, should proceed to dis- own them.
It being obvious that the public entertainments, and the vain and ostentatious processions of those called Free Masons, are altogether inconsistent with our religious profession: if therefore any of our members shall join therein, or unite in member- ship with them, they are to be treated with as in other cases of disorderly conduct, and if after ten- der admonition and brotherly labor they cannot be dissuaded therefrom they are to be disowned.
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LAW.
LAW.
If any of our members be complained of for with- holding a just debt, they should be tenderly urged to payment; and if this be unavailing, they should be treated with as in other cases of disorderly con- duct; and if any appear unable to satisfy their cred- itors, they should be advised to call them together without loss of time, and submit the state of their affairs to their inspection; when, if the creditors ap- prehend a surrender of the debtor's effects neces- sary, they ought to consent, and if they refuse so to do, the Monthly Meetings of which they are members should be informed; when, if the party still persist in refusing, they should be disowned without too long delay.
But, if any in such difficult circumstances, mani- fest an honest intention, and shall offer their all to their creditors, without preference, let compassion and aid be extended to them as brethren, and objects of christian charity ; having done what they could, no more for the present, can be justly expected from them. Yet it is the judgment of the Yearly Meeting, that if persons so failing in their circumstances should at any time thereafter be favored with ability to pay off their deficiencies, justice will require it of them, notwithstanding a composition with and legal dis- charge from their creditors may have been ob- tained. This is however not meant to furnish any with a pretext for advancing such claims, while persons so deficient are honestly laboring to re- trieve their circumstances, nor until it shall clearly appear to their respective Monthly Meetings, or judicious committees thereof, that sufficient ability is arrived at; when, if they be requested to comply, and persist in refusing, the said meetings should pro- ceed to disown them.
And it is the judgment of the Yearly Meeting,
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MARRIAGES.
that if any members of our religious society, disre- garding the gospel order prescribed by our Discipline, shall arrest or sue at law other members, (not being under such a necessity so to do, as has been ex- plained under article Arbitration,) they, in so doing, do depart from the peaceable principles of which we make profession: and if on being treated with by the Monthly Meetings to which they belong, they cannot be prevailed with to withdraw the suit, and pay the cost thereof, they should be dis- owned.
MARRIAGES.
It is affectionately desired by the Yearly Meeting, that all young or unmarried persons in membership with us, previously to their making any procedure in order to marriage, do seriously and humbly wait upon the Lord for his counsel and direction in this important concern; and when favored with satisfac- tory clearness therein, they should early acquaint their parents or guardians with their intentions, and wait for their consent: thus preservation from the dangerous bias of forward and uncertain affections, would be experienced, to the real benefit of the par- ties, and the comfort of their friends. And it is earnestly recommended to Friends, that they ten- derly and carefully watch over the youth, and ex- tend seasonable caution and admonition relative to this interesting subject as occasion may require.
A single person about to marry at a distance from home, is to procure from the Monthly Meeting to which he belongs a certificate of his right of mem- bership, and clearness from any other person in res- pect to marriage engagements, and, in applying for such certificate, the name of the woman should be given to the Monthly Meeting. He should also ob- tain the consent of his parents or guardians therein; and none are to be permitted to join themselves in 4
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MARRIAGES.
marriage until such certificates, and the consent of their parents or guardians thereto, be also signified, in person or by writing, where it is practicable, or can be reasonably obtained. But as there is tender- ness due to children and wards, as well as to parents and guardians, it is not to be understood that mar- riages are to be prohibited, on account of improper objections on the part of the latter; but that Monthly Meetings exercise righteous judgment in such cases.
No Monthly Meeting is to permit any marriage to be proposed therein sooner than one year after the decease of a former husband or wife.
The Yearly Meeting being tender concerning marriage, desires that no misdemeanor be treasured up against a person, until the time of presenting marriage to the meeting, and then disclosed, though perhaps long before done and known to those who so object to it at that time, which being a wrong thing, should be checked and prohibited in all meetings.
It is recommended to Monthly Meetings, that ac- cording to the ancient and decent practice amongst Friends, they take care, that such men and women Friends as make or receive proposals of marriage, do not dwell in the same house, from the commence- ment of such concern until the marriage is accom- plished: that no grounds may be furnished for evil reports or surmises, but our holy profession be main- tained unsullied in the view of men.
No marriages are to be accomplished in or imme- diately after any of our Monthly Meetings, or other meetings of business. And it is desired, that on these occasions, Friends in affluent circumstances, particularly, may be careful to set a becoming and encouraging example of moderation; avoiding un- necessarily expensive entertainments, and large companies: How much better would such superflu- ous expense be employed in relieving the necessi-
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MARRIAGES.
ties of the poor; and especially guarding against inviting such as guests who are unlikely to conform to the order of our religious society.
Let such of our members be admonished, as keep company in order for marriage, with persons not of our society, or with any bound servants or appren- tices, without the leave of their masters or mis- tresses; or who are either present themselves, or consent to their children's being present at mar- riages performed by a priest. And where any are present at the marriage, or marriage entertainment of a member, accomplished contrary to our order, they are to be treated with, and where they cannot be brought to a sense of their error, let them be disowned.
Where parents or guardians have approved the visits or addresses of a man (a member of our reli- gious society) to any of their children or those under their care, they ought not to retract the same, with- out giving such reasons as shall be satisfactory to the Monthly Meeting whereto they belong.
For the accomplishment of marriage the follow- ing order is to be observed: The parties are to inform the men's and women's Monthly Meeting, in writing, under their hands, that they intend marriage with each other. The notice should be minuted in each meeting, and two women Friends are to be ap- pointed to make inquiry respecting the woman, and if the parties are both members of the same meet- ing, two men Friends should also be appointed to make inquiry respecting the clearness of the man, in regard to any other marriage engagements. If the parties have parents or guardians present, their consent should be expressed; or if the man be a mem- ber of another Monthly Meeting, the consent of his parents, if he have any, should be produced in writ- ing, either then or at the next meeting, with a certificate from his Monthly Meeting of his clearness from other like engagements.
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MARRIAGES.
If the woman be a widow, having children, two or more Friends should be appointed in the meeting of which she is a member, to see that the rights of her children be legally secured. At the next meet- ing, if the committees report that careful inquiry has been made, and no obstruction to the further proceedings of the parties appear, the man, at a pro- per time, should be accompanied into the women's meeting by a Friend nominated thereto; there the parties are to declare the continuance of their in- tentions of marriage with each other; and then pro- ceeding to the men's meeting they should make the same declaration there; the meetings are then to leave them at liberty to accomplish their marriage, according to our rules, and appoint two Friends of each sex, to attend and see that good order is ob- served: Marriages are to be solemnized at the usual Week-day Meetings for Worship, or at a meeting appointed, at a seasonable hour in the forenoon on some other convenient week-day, and at the meeting house to which the woman belongs. Previous notice to Friends generally, in the latter case, being given.
Towards the conclusion of the said meeting, the parties are to stand up, and taking each other by the hand, are to declare in an audible and solemn manner to the following effect: the man first, viz. "Friends, in the presence of the Lord, and before " this assembly, I take this my friend D. E. to be my " wife; promising, with divine assistance, to be unto "her a loving and faithful husband, until death shall "separate us;" and then the woman in like manner: "Friends, in the presence of the Lord, and before "this assembly, I take this my friend A. B. to be my "husband; promising, with divine assistance, to be "unto him a loving and faithful wife, until death " shall separate us."
The marriage certificate is then to be audibly read by some proper person, the express names and description of the parties being first inserted. They
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MARRIAGES.
are then to sign the same: the man first, then the woman, with the adopted name of her husband : the relatives next as witnesses, and such others pre- sent as are disposed to subscribe their names.
It is further directed, that the said marriage be accomplished decently, gravely, and weightily; and the parties themselves, their parents and others con- cerned, do take care at the houses or places where they go, after the solemnization is over, that no re- proach arise, or occasion of offence be given, by any intemperate or immoderate feasting or drink- ing, or by any unseemly, wanton, or rude discourses or actions; but that all behave with such sobriety as becomes a people fearing God; and that the com- pany retire to their homes in seasonable time. And if any thing to the contrary be observed, the over- seers, or other concerned Friends present, ought, as speedily as they conveniently can, to take such aside who make any breach upon good order, and in an affectionate manner admonish them to a better behaviour; and the said overseers are to make report to the Monthly Meeting, whether good order has been observed, and take care that the marriage certificate be returned in order to be recorded.
The form of which certificate shall be as follows: Whereas, A. B. of in the county of - in - son of C. B. of - and H. his wife; and D. E. daughter of F. E. of - and M. his wife, having declared their intentions of marriage with each other, before a Monthly Meeting of the religious society of Friends, held at - (where the parties are under the care of parents or guardians, unless in the case of unreasonable objec- tions, add) and having consent of parents or guar- dians concerned (as the case may be) their said proposals of marriage were allowed by said meeting. These are to certify whom it may concern, that for the full accomplishment of their said intentions, 4*
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MARRIAGES.
this day of the - month, in the year of our Lord , they, the said A. B. and D. E. appeared in a public meeting of the said people held at aforesaid; and the said A. B. taking the said D. E. by the hand, declared that he took her the said D. E. to be his wife, promising, with divine assistance, to be unto her a loving and faithful husband until death should separate them: and then the said D. E. did in like manner declare, that she took him the said A. B. to be her husband, promising, with divine assistance, to be unto him a loving and faithful wife, until death should separate them. And moreover, they, the said A. B. and D. E. (she according to the custom of marriage, adopting the name of her hus- band) did, as a further confirmation thereof, then and there to these presents set their hands.
A. B. D. B.
And we whose names are also hereunto sub- scribed, being present at the solemnization of the said marriage have, as witnesses thereto, set our hands the day and year above written.
It is the judgment of the Yearly Meeting that members of our society cannot consistently with our religious profession, avail themselves of any legal privilege in dissolving the marriage contract.
That the marriages of persons too nearly related may, as much as in us lies, be prevented, it is the conclusion of the Yearly Meeting that no marriage between any so near as first cousins, nor the chil- dren of half brothers or half sisters, shall be per- mitted among us. In relation therefore to this in- teresting testimony, it is the affectionate desire of the Yearly Meeting, that where there is occasion to apprehend that any of our members are likely to join in marriage with persons thus related, or with those who are not in membership with us, or that any are about to depart from our deliberate, fair, and honorable order of marriage, by which that
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MARRIAGES.
right which belongs to society to investigate the clearness of the parties, relative to the consent of their parents or guardians, as also the further neces- sary inquiry, how far such individuals are clear of other marriage engagements, and of all clandestine proceedings whatever, together with that particular and religious mode of accomplishing marriage, es- tablished by us, under the influence of Divine wis- dom, are wholly avoided and disregarded, that elders, overseers, and other religiously concerned Friends, considering it as a duty, be engaged to take early opportunities for advising and admonishing them against such procedure, (at least two Friends uniting in such service;) but should the party or parties, notwithstanding, depart from our well known'and established order, Monthly Meetings should treat with such, as in other cases of offence, and if not brought to acknowledge and condemn their misconduct, they are to be disowned.
And if any parents or guardians consent to, or promote the marriages of their children and those under their care, (members of society,) contrary to our established order; if after brotherly labor has been extended to them, they cannot be brought to a due sense of their error, and make a satisfactory acknowledgment for the same, Monthly Meetings are authorized to disown them.
It is further recommended, that parents exercise a religious care in watching over their children, and endeavor to guard them against improper or unequal connexions in marriage: that they be not anxious to obtain for them large portions and settlements, but that they be joined to persons of religious in- clinations, suitable dispositions, and diligence in their business; which are necessary to a comfortable life in a married state.
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MARRIAGES.
The increase of the breaches of our testimony, in going from amongst us in the weighty engage- ment of marriage, being, we fear, often for want of due care in parents, and those who have the import- ant charge of educating youth, early to admonish and instruct them in the principles of truth, and im- press their minds with the duty of religiously ob- serving them; as much as possible restraining them from such company as will be likely to entangle their affections improperly; we therefore tenderly exhort Friends in all quarters to increase their care over the youth, that the consistency of our princi- ples in all respects with the nature of true religion, may be impressed on their tender minds, by upright examples, as well as by precepts; and that where there is apparent danger of the affections of any being improperly entangled, and the care of parents or guardians, or those who have the oversight of them, appears not sufficient to prevent their taking imprudent steps in the accomplishment of marriage, care be taken, timely, to apply for the assistance of their Friends.
Marriage being a divine ordinance; and a solemn engagement for term of life, is of great importance to our peace, and well-being in this world, and may also prove of no small 'consequence respecting our state in that which is to come; yet it is often too in- considerately entered into, and upon motives incon- sistent with the evident intention of that unerring wisdom by which it was primarily ordained: which was for the mutual assistance and comfort of both
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MARRIAGES.
sexes, in spirituals and temporals, that their endeavors might be united for the education of their children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord; and for the discharge of their duty in their various allot- ments in the world.
Marriage implies union, as well in spiritual as temporal concerns. Whilst the parties differ in religion, they stand disunited in the main point; even that which should increase and confirm their mutual happiness, and render them meet-helps and blessings to each other. Where it is otherwise, the reciprocal obligation into which they have entered, becomes their burden; and the more so, as it may not be of a short duration. Whatever felicity they might have flattered themselves with in the begin- ning, they have found themselves disappointed of, by the daily uneasiness accompanying their minds, and embittering their enjoyments.
The perplexed situation of the offspring of such alliances, is also to be lamented: attached by na- ture to both parents, their confusion often renders them unfixed in principle, and unsettled in practice; or if, as is usual, the sons attach themselves to the father, and the daughters to the mother, brothers and sisters are trained up in lines of conduct diverse from, and in some instances opposite to each other; thus differing in principle, they are frequently divi- ded in affection, and though so nearly related, are sometimes at the greatest distance from that love and harmony which ought continually to subsist between them.
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MEETING HOUSES.
To prevent falling into these disagreeable and disorderly engagements, it is requisite to beware of the paths that lead to them-the sordid interests and ensnaring friendships of the world, the contam- inating pleasures and idle pastimes of earthly minds; also the various solicitations and incentives of fes- tivity and dissipation. Let our dear youth like- wise avoid the too frequent and too familiar con- verse with those from whom may arise a danger of entanglement, by their alluring the passions and drawing the affections after them.
For want of due watchfulness and obedience to the convictions of Divine Grace in their con- sciences, many amongst us have wounded their own souls, distressed their friends, injured their families, and done great disservice to the church, by their unequal connexions; which have proved an inlet to much degeneracy, and mournfully affected the minds of those who labor under a living concern for the good of all, and the prosperity of truth upon earth.
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MEETING HOUSES.
Quarterly and Monthly Meetings are directed to make timely and careful inspection into the situa- tion of the titles of meeting houses, and burial grounds; and other estates which have been vested in trustees, and by them held for the use and benefit of the society at large, or of any of those meetings; so that if it should appear needful, by the death of any such trustees, or otherwise, due and seasonable care may be taken to appoint some others to the trust; that future difficulties and the risk of being deprived of such estates may be avoided. And it
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MEETING FOR SUFFERINGS.
is further directed, that Quarterly and Monthly Meetings respectively, as the case may require, keep exact records of all such trusts and convey- ances, and also that a clear and regular account be kept by each respective meeting, of the place where, and the persons with whom, the papers, minutes, and records belonging to our religious so- ciety, are from time to time deposited; wherein due care should be 'taken to lodge them with suitable Friends.
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