USA > Kentucky > Henderson County > History of Henderson County, Kentucky > Part 54
Note: The text from this book was generated using artificial intelligence so there may be some errors. The full pages can be found on Archive.org (link on the Part 1 page).
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13 | Part 14 | Part 15 | Part 16 | Part 17 | Part 18 | Part 19 | Part 20 | Part 21 | Part 22 | Part 23 | Part 24 | Part 25 | Part 26 | Part 27 | Part 28 | Part 29 | Part 30 | Part 31 | Part 32 | Part 33 | Part 34 | Part 35 | Part 36 | Part 37 | Part 38 | Part 39 | Part 40 | Part 41 | Part 42 | Part 43 | Part 44 | Part 45 | Part 46 | Part 47 | Part 48 | Part 49 | Part 50 | Part 51 | Part 52 | Part 53 | Part 54 | Part 55 | Part 56 | Part 57 | Part 58 | Part 59 | Part 60 | Part 61 | Part 62 | Part 63 | Part 64 | Part 65 | Part 66 | Part 67 | Part 68 | Part 69 | Part 70 | Part 71 | Part 72 | Part 73 | Part 74 | Part 75 | Part 76 | Part 77 | Part 78 | Part 79 | Part 80 | Part 81
564
HISTORY OF HENDERSON COUNTY, KY.
the size of a gunsmith's sign, necessitating two men to pack it. In short, the burlesque was an actuality complete and beyond any sort of misunderstanding. This squad of malconformed, misproportioned, beautiless militia killers, marched over the village, followed by hun- dreds of men, women, negroes, boys and children, halting here and there to partake of the hospitality of some citizens who fully endorsed the movement. 'They soon became the center of attraction to which gravitated all of the past worshipers of the militia. It was a dead- ener ; the patriot soldiers were disgusted, perhaps no more with the Quizzicals than with themselves. Soldiers slipped away and hid them- selves, or else became outspoken friends of the burlsqueing party, and so strong was this feeling, it was believed that no more musters would be ever attempted in Henderson.
The day closed with the militia under the weather, the Quizzicals master of the situation. Every means was employed to detect the rebels, but so secretly did they disband, for a long time none of them were positively known. Thus ended the April company muster.
In May the battalion muster, a still larger one was to take place, and although it was believed that the heavy dose administered to the militia at the company muster would suffice to break up the nonsense but it was soon found out, the muster officers were using herculean efforts to present an imposing parade on battalion day. This, then, determined the Quizzicals to repeat the dose, and in corresponding numbers. A meeting was held, extra recruiting officers appointed, and a determination manifested to interest the whole county. Re- cruits were taken in and pledged to secrecy.
"A report was circulated that the Quizzicals had disbanded and would never appear again in public, and this, of course, emboldened the patriot commanders. Yet, notwithstanding this report, some one was indiscreet enough to intimate another turnout. Threats were made that if they did the last one of them would be arrested, and the militia had the force to do that very thing. No matter, the Quizzicals worked along, secretly preparing for a high turnout, to be, if possible, on a greater burlesque scale than their previous effort. Recruits came in rapidly and every preparation had been effected, considering the larger number engaged, with more precision than in April.
Dr. William Read, one of the instigators of the movement, and certainly one of the most original, ingenious, and mirth provoking men of that day, painted upon several banners correct likenesses, yet cutting caricatures of some of the militia officers and others, who had expressed strong faith in the militia law. He had also made arrange-
565
HISTORY OF HENDERSON COUNTY, KY.
ments for a brass band to be on hand, and a brass band in those days was something sufficient to upset a whole country, and draw for many miles. In fact it was a greater curiosity than a whole Centennial Ex- position would be for these times.
The flowery month of May came, and with it bright hopes of the coming muster. Adolphus and his Angelina had prepared their turnout suits, and talked over the times they would have in the village. Puffed up Captains were anxious for the appointed time to arrive when they could march at the head of valiant Knights, and air their Dolly Varden uniforms. The "Quizzicals " were secretly viewing the circumstantial field and amusedly counting the effect of their parade upon the tender sensibilities of the patriots.
Muster day arrived on time, and with it all the multitude of hang- ers-on, including dogs, donkeys, and howling hoodlums. The fellow with the historical chip upon his shoulder was there, the gentleman with the injin rubber tank was there, fortified to find a safe lodging place for all the liquor gratuitously contributed; the two by four poli- tician ready to " 'spute " with the oldest man on the ground was there. The notorious " best man " in the county was there, ready to knock down or be knocked down, just as it so happened; a great army of ne- groes begged time from the plow to attend the great holiday gathering· The village was filled to overflowing, yet none of the visitors knew what a treat was in store for them. They didn't know that a brass band was in town. The "Quizzicals " had appointed the same hour for the parade and were to appear simultaneously with the soldiers.
It was appointed for the Court House bell to ring, then the whole army of " Quizzikers " as they were called, was to remove from their secret fastnesses and unite at a selected and well understood place. While the State drummer was absolutely fanning the wool off of the skin of his drum, and the fifer blowing a crick into his neck, the Court House bell rang, and just such a sight was never before seen on top of or underneath the globe. From every alley, from every street came squads of " Quizzicals " gorgeously arrayed in uniforms incom" prehensible and confounding. The brass band which had been brought into town from Evansville during the night, and hid away without being detected by a living soul, ushered forth from a narrow alley blowing in melodious harmony, " Old Grimes is Dead, that Good Old Soul." The effect was electrical; from every direction came the naughty " Quizzicals," and in the shortest possible time had fallen into their proper places, as though they had been drilling for a six months or more, The State drummer and fifer called a halt in their
566
HISTORY OF HENDERSON COUNTY, KY.
" wind and beat," and beat a retreat to hide themselves from the glimmering rays of those brass horns. Horses, as though they knew the day of judgment had come, snapped bridle reins and halters, and scampered for the woods with all their might and main. Those who had never heard a brass band, stood paralized and shivering ; old women shouted Hallelujah, while half-dozen old soldiers stepped around the corner to take another pull at the black bottle, and forever renounce allegiance to the malitia. The Quizzicals marched and counter-marched until their numbers had been increased to two hun- dred and fifty or three hundred. They were armed to the teeth with genuine shooting irons, but then the militia did not know that they had come to stay, and not to be arrested-they had come to administer a dose which would forever settle the stomachs of the ambitious and haughty captains of the State forces ; they were strong and they knew it, they were armed and they knew it, they were backed by the better class of people and they knew it, and most unmercifully did they rub, in the burlesque.
A description of this motley crew would be impossible ; men six feet four inches long were mounted upon mules four feet high, men weighing two hundred and fifty pounds were mounted on small animals fed for the occasion, men were dressed in shucks, uniforms and false faces absolutely hideous were worn by the rank and file, but the music was good. The militia retired to what was known as the Taylor field, now in the Third Ward, where they were soon followed by the " Quizzicals." They marched around them time and again with the band playing its best music, and when the band ceased playing, they were furnished music not quite so refined or melodious. It seemed that the whole stock of tin horns, then in the world, had been collected together and turned loose at one and the same time, no one of them conveying the same sound. The patriots were out. done, humiliated, disgusted. The great crowd of spectators had left them in their glory, and was paddling along in front, alongside, in the rear and all around the brass band.
The Quizzicals returned to town with their banners flying and were received by the gracious few remaining on the streets with shouts of rapturous approval. Col. Burbank became enthusiastic and invited the whole command to his factory on the corner of Main and Third Streets, to partake of a sufficiency of his eight-year old. Of this " Cornicopia " the command helped themselves freely, so freely that many of them were unable to keep in line, keep the step or keep their stomachs. Mr. A, B, Barret entertained the anti-militia, and others
567
HISTORY OF HENDERSON COUNTY, KY.
did likewise. From that time, militia musters became unpopular and a militiaman was as much afraid of a Quizzical as he could have been of any burlesquing terror. To the Quizzicals of Henderson, no doubt, the credit is due of breaking up muster drills in Kentucky.
THE FAMOUS DOG SUPPER.
Over half a century ago, when Henderson was but a small village with storeboat gunwales for sidewalks, in place of her now broad and symmetrical engineered brick pavements and stone reservoirs, there lived here a company of young men noted for their wit and humor ; their
" Quips and cranks and wanton wiles, Nods and becks and wreathed smiles,"
whose sole aim it was to practice upon the unsuspecting some original bit of humor, calculated at times to unnerve the victim, yet at all times intensely amusing to those of the party and to others doing the duty of casual spectators.
At that time there stood on Court Hill an insignificant building called a Court House, at the end of which was an ell with two rooms, one of them used for a County, the other for a Circuit Clerk's office. These depositories of chancery, common law and statutory records were as orderly during the day as the chronic grumbler of well settled habits could wish, but after nightfall they became the haunts of mirth and gaiety, good humor and high glee. A flow of spirits, the sun- shine of the mind, mixed as 'serenely with the social atmosphere as does the glittering dewdrop with the sweets of the morning rose. It was there that plans were formed. 'Twas there that minds, cultivated by a close communion with the classics - unbridled and skipping like young colts-in the field of fancy, shaped the mould from out of which something truly amusing was to come. 'Twas there the famous "Dog Supper " received its embryo life, and it was there it culminated in such sickening actuality. The story of this supper was at one time a national one, and to this day many readers will recall the memories of that old canine festivity. There are those yet living who heard of the feast at the time it occurred ; others who have had a traditionary knowledge of it, while others have read it in the light of a romance in " Lonz Powers," a book written by Hon. James Weir, of Owensboro. The story is an intensely interesting one, and the best of it is, it is true.
In giving a brief history of the " Dog Supper," I shall take the liberty of using "Lonz Powers " freely, as that is by far the best
568
HISTORY OF HENDERSON COUNTY, KY.
history ever written of that interesting entertainment. The author of Lonz Powers used ideal names. I shall use the true names so far as it lies with me. There were five leading characters officiated in the getting up and serving of the "Dog Supper." Their names were, William D., Samuel and Young E. Allison, Harvey Green and Thos. Towles, Jr. Old Dan Shallow, who figured so conspicuously upon that occasion was a magistrate who called himself " Judge," a self- conceited, harmless old fellow whom this particular crowd loved to joke at all times.
It was a very usual thing about that time, for the young men of the town to have bachelor suppers-that is, suppers where none but male bipeds were invited. The Allisons had enjoyed many of these social feasts and convivial rejoicings and now felt it incumbent upon them to give one in return and thus repay the hospitality of their numerous acquaintances, for they disliked the idea of being in this way indebted even to their best friends.
These gentlemen were all bachelors, for, although great jokers themselves, marriage was a practical joke they had hitherto studiously avoided. Sam knew how dangerous it was to trust too much to the sympathy of the heart, and had, therefore, discreetly dodged the question whenever pressed too close by maid or widow, and had so far escaped not only the bonds of Hymen, but any suit for a breach of promise, for he took especial care never to write letters, and in the language of " Uncle Johnny Weller," kept a sharp look-out on the " Vidders," But Sam was now fully determined on one thing, and that was to give a supper which he vowed should be a " dog fine feast " and one both sumptuous and unique.
On the same day of one of those celebrated militia musters at Pleasant Grove, our joking friend was so fortunate as to decoy into his stronghold a fat, old, goutish canine by the name of "Watch,"- a name, by the by, not at all significant of his peculiar qualities, for he slept full three-fourths of his time, and would devote the other fourth to the same luxury had not necessity compelled him to pass it in eating. Old Watch acknowledged no master, and, like all dogs of this kind, was an independent, careless dog, passing his years in glorious idleness, feeding on the fat of the land, lying on cellar doors, turning up his aristocratic nose at his lean companions and enjoying himself, like many men of the same occupation and pursuits. His days were numbered, however, for he had struck the joker's fancy, and so Sam Allison sacrificed him upon the altar of fun and dedicated him to the nourishment of his hungry friends.
569
HISTORY OF HENDERSON COUNTY, KY.
In the summer of 1835, a neat little note of invitation, enveloped in a perfumed covering, was sent with due form and etiquette to some dozen or more of Sam's particular friends and acquaintances. Mr. Allison was open and frank in the use of his language, reminding his friends that it should be a supper if, nothing more than a dog supper. These invitations were signed "Sam Allison," and one of them was addressed to old Judge Shallow. "By blood," said the Judge upon receiving his invitation, " but what the devil he means by dog supper I don't know and don't care, so that he has a good supper and a plenty to drink." The other friends each received a similar invitation, all of them containing a distinct invitation to a dog supper.
Knowing Sam's proneness for jokes, they laughed over his allu- sion to a canine feast, taking it for granted that a fat saddle of venison and all the et ceteras of high living awaited their coming. Duly to the moment, the guests gathered around his hospitable board and sat down in high glee and good humor to partake of the dainties he had prepared for them. It was a laughing, jolly company, and Judge Shallow was there in all of his glory, and, as he had not eaten any dinner, needed neither pickle nor whisky to sharpen his appetite. At the request of the host, he had taken the seat of honor, not on his right or left, as was the custom of kings, but at the foot of the table immediately facing his host, while by his side sat young Donald McConnel, (Tom Towles), a wild fellow much given to reading Shakespeare, and who scarcely ever conversed except with quotations from the old tragedians, now and then simplified and made intelligible by remarks of his own. Tom was a rare bird and particu- larly odious to the old Judge, for he had strong suspicions of his sanity, and on the present occasion would have preferred his being a little further removed from his valuable person, for to tell the truth, the Judge was slightly timid of his company, not so much " on account of himself as of the public and his family," as he was accustomed to say when avoiding any danger.
At the head of the festive board sat the joker, his eyes twinkling with delight and his whole face beaming with humor. No guest could have wished a more happy, joyous or smiling entertainer. They were certain of the welcome, and as certain of a good supper, and all were well disposed for fun, frolic and high humor. Immediately before Sam, as the leading dish of the table, was the body, or rather the saddle, of "Old Watch," cooked and prepared in the finest style, beautifully brown and inviting, sending forth a savory odor and tempting in no small degree the palates of the anxious and expectant
570
HISTORY OF HENDERSON COUNTY, KY.
guests. Uncle Sam Johnson, a colored individual of those days, noted for his pugilistic as well as keen perception of well behaved qualities, was the connoisseur of the art culinary upon the occasion. Royally did he roast " Old Watch," and royally grand did he locate him upon the shining porcelain.
Pouring out a glass of wine and motioning his friends to do the same, Sam arose to his feet and gave a toast standing, "Here's that you may all have good and strong appetites for the 'dog supper '-to the memory of all dogs in general-hoping that they may live as long, grow as fat, and die as glorious a death as ' Old Watch.'"
The shout that greeted Sam's toast shook the house to its very foundation and alarmed the neighborhood for many squares around. The delighted company, unsuspecting the joke now playing upon them- selves, and little dreaming of the reality of Sam Allison's joke, drank off their bumpers in high glee at the merry humor of their host, while Tom Towles, with a jovial twinkle of the eye, exclaimed :
" He was a gash an' faithfu' tyke
As ever lap a sheugh or dyke. His honest, sowsie, baws'nt face Ay gat him friends in ilka place ; His breast was white, his towzie back
Well clad wi' coat o' glossy black; His gawcie tail, wi' upward curl, Hung o'er his hurdies wi' a swurl."
" Well done, Tom !" cried Sam, laughing. " You have given as faithful a description of ' Old Watch ' as if done by myself. But fall to," he continued, flourishing his carver, " and never cry 'hold ! enough !' until dog and wine can no longer be forced down your gullets. Sam Allison never begrudges his victuals so long as his friends are satisfied with dog. Come, my wise administrator of the laws," said he, addressing Judge Shallow, "shall I help you to a slice of this canine dish ? "
"Ay, ay," replied the Judge, merry with wine and glad with the expectation of a good supper. "By blood ! send me down a lion's portion of the venison, or dog, as you choose to call it. I can hide as much of a brown roast in my slim body "-slapping his attenuated abdomen-" as jolly Falstaff dare do in his palmiest days."
" To that I'll be sworn upon all the books in England," muttered Towles.
The two brothers of Sam-William D. and Young E .- did the part of servitors at this bachelor feast, while he, sitting at the head of
571
HISTORY OF HENDERSON COUNTY, KY.
the table, continued zealously to supply the constant demands of his guests for what they, innocently humoring the whim of their host, laughingly called "dog." Liberally and bountifully did the joker fill the plates of his friends from the fat saddle of "Old Watch," and never was a haunch of venison so lauded and admired. It was praised for its fatness, its juiciness and peculiar flavor, and again and again did Sam, flourishing his carver, supply the demands of his ravenous company.
But now old Judge Shallow, filled with repletion, and unable to swallow another morsel, threw down his knife, and while complacently rubbing his provision depot, exclaimed : "By blood ! I can eat no more ! and if I continue to feel as I now do, will never eat again." The remainder of the guests followed the example of the Justice, gave up the contest and awaited the signal to move. Towles, as a finale to the feast, crying out with mock solemnity :
" Immortality and fellowship with me, and the light and joy of felicity All these hast thou reached to-day! Leave, then, the dog behind thee."
" Rather say leave the bones," hiccoughed the old Judge, " for the meat we take with us, or I am no judge of a picked carcass."
But Sam had no thought of letting them off so easily. They had enjoyed themselves vastly on his wine and dog, and at his expense, and he now thought it time to shift the scenes and slightly vary the entertainment. Rapping upon the table to draw the attention of his noisy guests, Sam filled his glass, bidding them to do likewise, and then, bowing, exclaimed :
"One more toast, gentlemen. Here's to the memory of old Watch ! When alive his good humored face and fat, waddling sides have often gladdened our eyes ; when dead, he still remembers his friends and administers to their comfort, pleasure, and appetite ; peace be to his manes, and may his lazy spirit tumble into some world, where he'll find plenty to eat and nothing to do."
The jolly company, with hip, hip, hurrah ! duly drank down this toast with all the honors, although the shouts of some of them were a little faint, and a suspicious paleness began to gather around the corners of their mouths. A faint glimmering of the truth was now dawning upon the mind of more than one of that jovial crowd, and very naturally beginning to work a marked change in their hitherto joyful countenances. Towles, with a sickly smile, excited by his sus- picions, exclaiming, " Ah, no more of that, Hal; an' thou lovest me ? "
572
HISTORY OF HENDERSON COUNTY KY.
Yet they were not fully convinced ; but the joker did not leave them long in doubt, for he continued playing with wicked pleasure upon their fears and suspicions. The present scene he said but proves that great and leading fact-that habit and custom make the man. The Chinese consider a filthy bird nest the most choice of all food ; and we, setting ourselves up for judges, laugh at their folly and curse their filthiness. The Jews, led astray by the superstitions and laws of his nation, look with holy horror upon the carcass of a well fed hog ; while we, ridiculing their prejudice, think nothing equal to a well cured ham. Some nations of the earth think no food so pleas- ant and palatable as a dish from the human body ; while we, softened and refined by Christianity and civilization, revolt at the very idea. The Indians of the West and Pacific Islands, and even the inhabi- tants of some of the most ancient and refined nations, dream of no food more excellent than a roasted dog-and yet we, led astray by the habits and customs of the country, never think of trying this favorite dish. But it is all habit and custom and prejudice," said Sam, with a quizzical leer at his gaping audience ; “ for here we have been sup- ping upon that eschewed and abominable dish, and in our ignorance praising it for the very best and most delicious venison. The last time you saw old Watch, my friends," continued the joker with mock seriousness, " he was taking the sunshine on a cellar door. Poor fel- low ! You will never see him there again ! His deep, mellow bark will never more arouse you from your slumbers, or disturb your pleas- ant dreams. All that now remains of him is this well picked carcass before me, and here," continued Sam, stooping down and drawing from under the table the well-known, familiar head and skin of old Watch, " is the only memento of that gallant dog and of this glorious feast. At the sight of the bloody head, the waggish Towles, true to the drama, although about sinking under the effect of nausea, sprang to his feet, exclaiming with tragic vehemence,
"Thou canst not say, I did it. Never shake Thy gory locks at me.
Avaunt and quit my sight ! Let the earth hide thee !
Thy bones are marrowless, thy blood is cold ; Thou hast no speculation in those eyes Which thou dost glare with !"
During the short speech of Sam an awful change had been grad- ually creeping over the late merry faces of his guests. There was a contracting of muscle, a heaving of chests, and the old Judge, with rueful countenance, had already pointed out the place of disease, by
573
HISTORY OF HENDERSON COUNTY, KY.
laying his hand submissively, and with Christian kindness, upon his stomach. But when the joker, like Anthony exhibiting the wounds in the dead Caesar's body, held up to their astonished gaze the grinning, ghastly remains of old Watch, the effect was electrical. No orator has ever produced a more rapid and wonderful revolution in the feel- ings, thoughts and actions of his auditory, than Sam Allison in his short address. The old Judge, having gorged himself with an anaconda portion of the dog, was now disgorging the same as fast as nature and the case would allow. His long, wiry figure, bent over the back of a chair, resembling an inverted letter "C," was heaving like the storm- tossed ocean. Whenever his own nauseous stomach would give him an instant of peace, the Justice would turn his long, doleful face, pale with sickness, and rueful with tears, upon his suffering and nauseated companions, muttering, as he rubbed his heaving and rapidly decreas- ing abdomen, " O, Lordy !" " O, Lordy !" Then he would take another turn at old Watch, mingling along with sighs and groans and tears his favorite oath of " By Blood," and prayers and supplications for relief with " O, Lordy !" " O, Lordy !"
But every storm must blow over, and so did this tempest-tossed company of heaving " suppers out, " at last find a calm, if not to their troubled souls, at least to their troubled stomachs, in which latitude and longitude their souls were just about that time pretty generally centered. Each guest, so soon as he was able to stagger away, seized his hat and, without ceremony or leave taking, made tracks for home, fully satisfied with their frolic. They staggered along their several ways, some swearing, some laughing and some stopping to take another heave, but all muttering "dog." Towles made a ludicrous attempt at a tragic farewell, but once more struck with a sudden nausea at the sight of old Watch's grinning head, it was no go !- he broke down in the midst of his quotation, and beat a retreat as best he could, laughingly shaking his fist at the shouting Sam. Old Judge was the last man to desert the festive board, for, having laid in a greater amount of dog than his comrades, it took him a longer time to disembark it. At last he too made his arrangements to take his departure. With both hands pressed tightly upon his weary and badly strained stomach, his eyes still wet with tears and his countenance still rueful from sickness and pain, he lingered a moment to cast one look (more of sorrow than anger) upon his laughing host and the well- picked carcass before him. Sam, noticing his fixed and earnest gaze, seized the carver, crying out, " Ha, Judge! shall I help you to another slice of Old Watch? "
Need help finding more records? Try our genealogical records directory which has more than 1 million sources to help you more easily locate the available records.