USA > Maine > Saco Valley settlements and families. Historical, biographical, genealogical, traditional, and legendary > Part 48
USA > New Hampshire > Saco Valley settlements and families. Historical, biographical, genealogical, traditional, and legendary > Part 48
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When several of the sons and daughters were living under the parental roof, a singular casualty occurred there. We will quote as nearly as we can the language used at the time, and allow the reader to weave in the necessary filling. The Bean family live nearly a mile west of the Saco river; the Han- cocks near the bank on the eastern side. The neighbors passed over Smith's bridge. It was on a dark night in autumn, when Mr. Hancock and his wife were aroused from their slumbers by some one pounding at the window casing
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of their sleeping apartment, accompanied by a voice shouting: " Mrs. Han- cock ! Mrs. Hancock!"
"What's wanted?" asked Mr. Hancock.
Those within recognized the voice without as soon as fairly awakened, and unfastened the door. This done, Naham Bean entered in great excite- ment and delivered himself as follows: "Mrs. Hancock, have you any penny- ruel? Cyrus and Sally had a squabble into the kitchen last night and Cyrus he fell upon her Our Sally's a drefful sick parson and they think most like she brake something into her." Mrs. Hancock gathered a bundle of "penny- rueł " (pennyroyal) and followed Naham home. We have not learned the extent of the injuries sustained by Sally Bean in this "squabble," but she recovered apace and survived for a reasonable number of years.
The farmers from the western towns and from eastern New Hampshire, when going to and from the market, were accustomed to call at the Bean homestead to warm and eat their dinners, which they carried in small firkins. It is related that on one occasion as the stranger was eating, one of the great, growing sons stood near, looking wistfully toward the tempting food. Being a compassionate man, he invited Mrs. Bean to cut a slice from his loaf for her son. She instantly did so. In a few minutes another great, red- headed, freckled boy came in and with great eagerness looked into the far- mer's dinner-box. "Cut him a slice, Mrs. Bean," said the generous stranger, and so she did. But another, and still another came in, all looking half- starved. Made bold by the precedent already established, the mother continued to cut slice after slice from the diminished loaf, until the farmer deemed it prudent for his own welfare to throw out some hint that would not offend, and, at the same time, save his bread, and so he said to her: "Why don't you take the whole loaf, Mrs. Bean?" She interpreted this question as an assurance of her welcome and replied: "I'm greatly obleeged to ye, sir; ] think 1 will as there are some of my boys that haven't come in yet ;" and then carried the remainder of the bread to her cupboard. Fancy the farmer's sur- prise. It is safe to say he did not eat his dinner at the Bean house afterward. He related the circumstances, however, and the words, " Take the whole loaf, Mrs. Bean," passed into a proverb that is well remembered by many still living.
While "Ran" Bean was warming himself in the saw-mill by the great, red-hot stove, one of the lumbermen who had never been known for his beauty had the misfortune to fall into the river. He pulled himself out, and with chattering teeth and nearly frozen, he came to the stove. "Ran" took in the whole situation instantly, and remarked that he sincerely pitied a man who was both "cold and homely."
Seeing a curly-headed man at work by the road-side without his hat, in a frolicking wind which made sport with his fluffy hair, "Ran" shouted : "Say, you! your head looks like a Yho-ho's nest."
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The Bell of Moscow .- The hennery and soap factory owned by Zeb- ulon Knight, afterward a minister, were burned in the night and the villagers were aroused from their slumbers by loud clanging of bells on church and mills. One man there was, " Put" Eastman, whose house was just across the street from the burning buildings, who slept on as soundly as if all had been still without. On the following morning, while neighbors were assembled about the smoking ruins, "Put" came out and wanted to know when "them buildings burned down "; said he didn't hear any sound in the night. Ran Bean was there, and in his cranky way bawled out: "'Put,' if the bell o' Moscow had been on top of yer house, you would have burned to a cinder before it would have saluted yer ear."
UNCLE DANIEL DECKER'S SPEECHES.
Daniel Decker was widely known as the most original and keen wag that lived in the Saco river towns. A sketch of his life will appear in the family history. The following are some of his quaint speeches :
The Decker Trotter. - At one time, Uncle Daniel purchased a high- headed, wild-eyed, broad-muzzled, sprig-tailed old horse which he named the "Decker trotter." As it was winter, and he had no sleigh nor sled, he set about to build a vehicle from such materials and with such tools as were at hand. From a long and slender ash sapling, split into halves, he formed the runners and thills, which were of one piece, shaved thin at the point where they were supposed to change names, to give flexibility; into these, midway between the whiffletree and back end, upright rungs were inserted to support the seat, which was formed from a narrow piece of rough board, having neither back nor sides. Another board, supported upon shorter standards, answered for a foot-rest. After arranging some rude hooks for the harness, the " jumper " was completed. Now for a trial of "the old thing." The "Decker trotter" was duly harnessed and led forth.
With many a resounding snort, he surveyed the machine to which he was to be connected, while Uncle Daniel shouted : "You tarnal old fool, don't ye think it's handsome?" For reins a piece of Aunt Debby's clothes-line was used. When all was ready, the driver mounted the seat, gathered up the lines, yelled "her-dap," and away they went up the road. All went well, and after experimenting awhile among the laughing neighbors, Uncle Daniel declared that he was going to give his "old hemlock " a ride. (We warn the reader that here the fun comes in, and advise the loosening of waistbands.) Driving down to his door, he kept his seat and shouted to his wife: "Come out here, you, old hemlock, and try my new jumper; come and take a ride with the 'Decker trotter."" Supposing that he would only drive about the door-yard, or, at farthest, to the house of his brother, abort, she threw an old rusty shawl
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over her head and took the seat at the side of her husband. Now it was nearly a mile to the village, and to her astonishment he quickly turned his beast in that direction.
When he put on the lash of his great leather whip, and sang out: "Now go-it, you old devil," her suspicions were fully aroused; she instantly had pre- monitions of a visit to the village in a ragged, homespun dress and a shawl over her head. Her worst fears were to be realized, but not without emphatic protest. "Daniel Decker," she hoarsely screamed, "if you do drive to the village with me, you'll never hear the last of it; never, NEVER." "Go-it, you old hound, and give your Aunt Deborah a good ride !" shouted Uncle Daniel, and away they went, while the wind blew so that the angry woman could scarcely do anything but hold on to the seat with one hand' and her shawl with the other. She would gladly have jumped off, but the road on her side passed near a steep embankment, while the speed of the horse prohibited such an attempt. There was a watering trough on the outskirts of the village, where she had a faint hope that her husband might draw rein, but they swept past it like a tempest and down the village street. Being now fully aware of her husband's intentions, and being determined to circumvent his purpose in part, at least, she pulled the shawl closely about her face and completely shielded it from observation. But who, beside his own wife, would be then riding behind the Decker trotter with "Uncle Daniel"? If any doubt existed in the minds of those who formed the crowds gathered about the stores, they were quickly dispelled by the driver, who shouted as he passed them : "Clear the track for the 'Decker trotter'; I am giving my old hemlock a ride;" and away they went across the bridge, "lickity-split" for Buxton. Such roaring laughter ! What shouting and swinging of hats! By this time the poor beast was out of breath, and having no fear that Aunt Debby would leave her seat while passing before the shouting throng, Uncle Daniel moved slowly home- ward, shaking all the while with convulsions of mirth.
What was said from the "other side of the house," when Aunt Deborah reached home, must be left to the reader's imagination; the writer was not there.
Painkiller .- Uncle Daniel enjoyed the "fuddle" produced by a few glasses of grog in earlier years and did not take kindly to any restrictive or prohibitory measures calculated to deprive him of his favorite drink. It came to pass, however, that a temperance crusade was inaugurated and ardently supported by members of the Paine family in Standish. While the excitement caused by this reform movement was at its height and the community in a condition to appreciate the richness of the joke, Uncle Daniel went into a store at the village, where a goodly number had assembled on a rainy day, and called for "painkiller." A bottle of that put up by the well-known Perry Davis was quickly handed down. "Is this all you have?" inquired Uncle
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Daniel ; "I want a dozen bottles, a whole box, enough to kill the whole Paine family."
Loaded with Crockery .- While camping out with a logging crew in New Hampshire Uncle Daniel had occasion to go out to the settlement with a horse and "Canadian jumper." On his return with a brown jug at his side, he saw the heavily loaded teams coming down the steep and narrow mountain road, but, notwithstanding the danger to which he and the approaching team- sters were being exposed, he shouted with all his might: "Turn out! turn out ! I am loaded with crockery and cannot turn out." Knowing well enough that Uncle Daniel was emboldened by the contents of his jug, the men at great risk turned their teams from the road into the deep snow and allowed the old fellow to pass them.
A Stiff Upper Lip .- During his absence from home, for the first time in his life he allowed his beard to grow upon his enormously broad upper lip. The result was a great brush of coarse hair under his nose, which became the daily resort of "Jack Frost." Entering the camp one night, as he came in from the woods, with his face white with small icicles, he remarked : " I have many times heard of keeping a stiff upper lip, but I'll be darned if I ever knew one as stiff as mine is now."
A Human Hound .- He once passed a night at the famous tavern so long presided over by Mr. Mansfield, at Hiram Bridge. Now this popular landlord was a small, slender man with rather sharp, angular features; some- thing of a wag withal. Uncle Daniel had many times heard of Mr. Mans- field, but this was their first introduction. It came about in this fashion : A roaring fire was burning upon the ample hearth, when a great, rough-looking stranger stepped into the "bar-room" and took a seat at the corner. The landlord laid down his paper, and the following colloquy passed between the two men :
" Is this Mr. Mansfield ? "
""That's my name, sir."
"Landlord Mansfield ?"
" Yes, sir. What more ?"
"Well, I have heard a great deal about Mr. Mansfield, of Hiram Bridge, Mr. Mansfield, the landlord, and imagined he was a large, portly, fine-looking, dignified person; but I'll be darned if you aint the smallest, most insignificant, and meanest-looking man I ever saw."
"Is that so? Well, I guess you're a hound."
"Yes, I am; but I must be a darned fool to run far after such game as you are."
This battle of words ended in the best spirit, and Uncle Daniel and Landlord Mansfield were ever after firm friends.
Strip of a Shingle .- While at work on Saco river, at one time the
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"drivers" boarded for a few days at a "new place," where the good woman was not acquainted with Uncle Daniel. When at dinner one day they were somewhat disturbed by the lusty crying of a great, ungainly boy in the room, and amused by the solicitude of its mother, who continued to exclaim : " I do wish somebody would tell me what that child wants!" " Madam," responded Uncle Daniel, "I can tell you what that boy wants." "Well, Mr. Decker, 1 wish you would." "That boy," continued the old man, "wants a strip of shingle about two inches wide." Exit mother and child.
To Suit Himself. - It was at this same boarding-place, a few days after the occasion mentioned above, that the following brief dialogue was listened to just at the close of breakfast :
"Is there anything particular, gentlemen, that you would like for dinner, any change?"
"Yes, marm," replied Uncle Daniel, "I should like a slight change in my food."
"What is it, Mr. Decker? I shall be only too glad to accommodate you. Speak out now."
"Wal, if you'd just as leave, I wish you'd put the hair in one plate, and the butter in another, and let me mix mine to suit myself."
What He Would Do .- One of Uncle Daniel's neighbors had a some- what unruly son who did not take kindly to work. The father labored hard to maintain his family, while this indolent young man was allowed to do as he pleased. Some of the neighbors who were aware of the circumstances, in- quired of Uncle Daniel why J. did not take his son into the woods where he was at the time cutting timber. This was the characteristic reply: " If he's my son, I'd want to take him up into a mountain as 'Abrum did Isik, and I wouldn't have a ram within a thousand miles.
Speechless Pigs .- Uncle Daniel thought to turn an honest penny one spring by raising some pigs. Their advent was awaited with considerable anxiety, and in a few days nearly all had died. He was at the village store one day when some one, who had conditionally engaged a pig, asked him how the litter was getting along. "Getting along !" exclaimed the old man, " they are all dead but two, and they are speechless."
From Jerusalem .- As mentioned in the notice of Uncle Daniel's father, which see, he started for the Holy Land and never returned. As "Aunt Anne" was standing in the door one day, as was her custom, watching for the return of her long absent husband, she discovered a ragged tramp ascending the hill. Turning to her son, who was performing some laborious work across the road, she said : "Daniel, what man is that coming up the hill ?" Straightening his aching back as he glanced down the road, he held up his hands and exclaimed : "Why, that's old Joe Decker coming back from Jerusalem." Not a respectful speech, it is true.
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Hair of His Head .- It was a custom among the neighbors on the "Decker lane" to unite when they "dressed their pork," in the late autumn or early winter, and by mutual assistance to lighten toil. His brother, who lived at the " next house," was a professional butcher. The hogs had been scalded and the busy men were pulling out the bristles. It seems that the water had cooled somewhat before Uncle Daniel's porker was immersed, and the bristles did not yield readily. The others, a little way off, had succeeded better. " Is yours 'bout ready to hang up, Daniel," asked his butcher brother across the way. "Yes, Joe," replied the disgusted man, "if you want to hang him by the hair of his head."
A Smooth Stick .- A gentleman once asked him if he could remember his Grandmother Field. "I guess I can," said Uncle Daniel, "but only once. My father had been away from home for the day, and on his return learned that I had neglected some task assigned to me. He was provoked, and catch- ing up a rough, thorny apple-tree limb that lay near, he approached to chas- tise me. Grandmother was standing upon the door-step at the moment with a small and straight stick in her hand. She instantly handed it to my father as she said : 'Here, Joe, lick Daniel with a smooth stick,' and he did. Who wouldn't remember such a grandmother as that?" asked the old man.
A Four-Year-Old Boy .- - He once adopted a city-bred boy, who proved a great annoyance to him. Uncle Daniel tried hard to teach him to mow; purchased a light "rigging" for him and set him to work. But he went to the village and inquired for a " small boy about four years old." When asked what he wanted of such a lad, he replied that he wished to hire him to "ride on the heel of George's 'scythe to keep it down."
No Outside Rows .- His neighbors complained that the squirrels were eating their corn in the field, and asked Uncle Daniel about his. He replied that they never troubled his corn. "And how do you prevent it ? " they asked. "I never have any outside rows," was his answer. Fact was, he did not plant corn.
A Fall Colt .- When asked what month in the year he was born in, he replied : " I was a fall colt."
Raised ou a Burn .- Meeting a great overgrown girl from one of the back towns, whose complexion was about as dark as a thunder cloud, Uncle Daniel asked her if she wasn't "raised on a burn."
Shoulder-Straps .- He was digging a ditch at the road-side when two young ladies, who went to the extreme of fashion in wearing crinoline, were passing by. The wind was tossing their drapery in a very careless way, to their evident embarrassment, when up rose Uncle Daniel and added to their chagrin by asking why they didn't wear "shoulder-straps to hold their clothes down."
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All in One Tune .- At a time of considerable religious excitement one of the converts, possessed of remarkable lung power, developed a very peculiar intonation of voice when speaking in public. Uncle Daniel remarked that the young man "prayed, talked, and sang all in the same tune."
Annt Martha's Dress .- He owned a dog, called "Romeo," that had a habit of running past those who came up the hill upon which his master lived. This caused a good many threats against the dog's life. One day a neighbor's wife, named Martha-a relative of Mr. Decker-was passing along the road when the dog ran, and, catching her dress-skirt in his teeth, nearly tore it from her body. This proved the culminating point in that dog's history. His master put a rope about his neck, led him away, and, as he raised his axe to deal the fatal blow, asked: "Romeo, what made you tear your Aunt Martha's dress?" Romeo's reply was not recorded; he rested by the swamp.
The Yellow Dog .- Soon after the untimely death of " Romeo," Uncle Daniel was making inquiry for another dog; said he was "tarnal lonesome " and must have a dog of some kind. He was informed that a man at the other side of the river had a dog to sell, but that it was a "yellow dog." Uncle Daniel replied: "I don't care a darn what color he is, if he don't court the cat."
Another Kind of Tracks .- A traveling minister once called at the home of Uncle Daniel and wished to show him some tracts. Parcel after par- cel was opened and examined, but they did not please. "What kind of tracts did you wish to see, sir?" inquired the missionary. "Tracks! Tracks! I want to see such as you will make going from my house to the road," replied the blunt old man. The tracks were made.
My Little Brother Joc .- Uncle Daniel's brother Joseph was a very large, corpulent man, and the two so closely resembled each other that strangers failed to distinguish them. Moreover, Joseph was a religious man, while Uncle Daniel was not. It was not unusual for a new pastor, who had seen Joseph at church, to meet Daniel and call him "Brother Decker." On one occasion soon after the settlement of a new minister, the man started out to make pastoral visits. After spending a pleasant hour at the house of Uncle Daniel, all the time supposing it was Joseph, the pastor mentioned the social meeting to be held at the village that evening, and, turning to his host, said: "I shall look for you down to the meeting tonight." "Well," replied Uncle Daniel, "if I can not go, I will send my little brother Joe; he's a first-rate hand." He used to declare that he had found out lots of mean tricks Joe had done in conse- quence of looking so much like him.
Cold as a Dead Man .- It was a cold winter night. Uncle Daniel and Aunt Debby retired at an early hour, according to their custom. While lost in profound slumber, the somewhat restless wife gradually divested her hus-
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band of his share of the bedclothes, and left him exposed to the keen night air. Awaking from his sleep, Uncle Daniel roused his wife and said: "Old hemlock ! I have often heard it said when a widow married quite soon after the death of her husband, she should have waited until his body was cold ; so now you can get married agin soon's you please, for I shall never be any colder when I'm dead."
In a Pillow-Case to Dry .- As Uncle Daniel was a heavy man, the "boss" of the crew of river-drivers kept him in the deep water of the eddies pushing out logs that drifted in there; consequently, he came nightly to his boarding-place as wet as a "drowned rat." On one occasion he was not only wet but cold, and calling the landlady he said : " Madam, I'm tarnal cold and wish you'd hang me up in a pillow-case by the fire to dry."
A Rabbit Hunt .- A young man of the adjacent village, who was not inclined to work, was out with his dog and gun chasing rabbits; chasing them in a wood-lot near Mr. Decker's field, in which he and a teamster were plow- ing. The poor rabbit was seen running over the furrows toward another thicket; soon the hunter came, nearly out of breath, and shouted in discon- nected words: " Un-cle Dan-'el, hev y-e-o-u s-e-e-n a rab-bit en-ywhere r-o-u-n-d here-e-e?" "Rabbit? yes; he just crossed the field and wanted to know what darned fool that was chasing him." The hunter retired, more thoughtful.
Couldn't Bear Everything .- It was a severe and protracted drouth - that prevailed in the Saco valley towns. So discouraging and dreary was the prospect for a harvest that the dry weather became the theme of conversation everywhere. And good men prayed and prayed earnestly, as near Elijah-like as they could without Elijah's kind of faith, for rain. But for weeks all signs did fail. Poplar leaves turned "white side up"; red ants bored burrows in the road-side path; dogs nibbled grass, and hens "fixed their feathers," but not a drop of rain. At length the haying time came and the mowers went forth to mow; and they mowed and mowed until many fields were shorn of the thin grass that had ripened prematurely. All at once, unexpectedly, a little cloud about as large and wet as a dishcloth came in sight; other clouds from all points came and united with it, and down poured the long-desired rain. Day and night, for a whole week, until hay was as black as tobacco, the torrents descended. Then the farmers "changed their tune "; they wanted the crank turned the other way; they growled just as farmers have always growled. Uncle Daniel had observed all these things, and as he overheard two religious men complaining about the rain, he said : "Look a-here, neigh- bors, you have been teasing the Lord for rain all summer, and He can't bear everything more'n other folks."
Darned Good Grit .- The person who "got the hands upon" Uncle Daniel must have his "eye-teeth " well cut. At one time a neighbor had
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worked up an old grindstone into small slabs with which to whet axes and knives. One was sent to Uncle Daniel by his wife, who had visited at the house. He came home when Aunt Debby had company, and seeing the whet- stone upon the mantle-shelf asked where it came from. His "old hemlock " was in a pleasant mood and said: "Why, that came from me." Quick as thought Uncle Daniel replied : "It must be darned good grit, then." Aunt Debby had duties to attend to down in the pantry.
Wished To Keep His Hair .- One of the deacons of the church at West Buxton had been suspended, and there was considerable talk in the com- munity as to who would be selected to fill the office. At this time the pastor, on his way to visit Deacon Decker, met Uncle Daniel and asked him to come over the river and hear him preach. "Good heavens," said he, "I don't dare to go there to church for fear they'd want to make a deacon of me, and I don't want my hair all pulled out just yet." His ideal deacon was a bald-headed man.
The Begging Minister. - For some years, when his wood-lot had become nearly exhausted, he secured his winter's wood from among the logs in the boom, sometimes gathering twenty cords. One of these years, when he had been especially fortunate, Elder F- met him in the village store and asked him if he did not think it his duty to give him a load of wood. " Well," said Uncle Daniel, "I haven't thought much about it, but will ask the Lord and do as He says." Some days afterwards he was again at the store when the clergyman came in-a venerable man on the superannuated list-and asked Decker if he had consulted the Lord according to promise about the wood. On being told that he had, he was asked with considerable interest what the Lord said about the matter. "He told me," said Uncle Daniel, "to mind my own business, and let old F- take care of himself." That was a " killer " on the elder, and it is doubtful if ever a company of men roared louder with laughter than did those in the village store that day.
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