USA > Indiana > DeKalb County > Auburn > Follies, 1923 > Part 6
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T. D. Vass-"Now, when I review this book, I want each student to make a list of everything he doesn't know." Geng writes frantically.
T. D .- "What are you doing, Har- old ?"
Geng-"Just copying the index." 0-0
Miss DeVine-"I want you to pass this test, Edward."
Red B .- "So do I; let's pull to- gether."
0-0-
Piggy-"How dare you swear be- fore me?"
Shinney-"Pardon me! I didn't know you wanted to swear first. Go right ahead."
-0-0
There was a young girl named Pene- lope,
Who went to college her brain to develope.
She wrote home for jack,
But no money came back,
Because she didn't address the en- velope.
0-0
The Way They Do It
J. Mc .- "1 stayed at Highbinder's hotel last night."
Elsie G .- "you did ?"
John-"Yep! He's the king profit- eer, all right."
Elsie G .- "How's come?"
John-"Why, Elsie, I complained of having a night mare last night, and he charged me for a livery rig."
(121)
STUDEBAKER
It's Another Studebaker Year We Ask Comparison
GRAY & JONES MOTOR SALES CO.
East Seventh Street, Auburn, Indiana
AUBURN ROLLER MILLS
H. W. TIMBROOK, PROP.
Manufacturers of
CHOICE HIGH GRADE ROLLER FLOUR
"White Star" - "Diamond A" Our Leaders
Globe Chick Mash
and
Growing Mash
Starts them right; keeps them Growing. None Better -0- GLOBE EGG MASH
The sure egg producer. Most economical, most efficient, the best.
--
Garden Seed and Field Seeds. COAL THAT BURNS -0-
Yesbera Coal Co.
(122)
"Star Brand Shoes Are Better "
For Men's, Women's, Boys' and Girls' Shoes
NEBELUNG'S
The Popular Priced Store is the Place to Buy Your Shoes
AUBURN, INDIANA
The South End Barber Shop
Will Cut Your Hair to Any Style
Expert Barbers
-0-
ED. FREEMAN Proprietor
Lott S .- "What do you consider the best years of a woman's life?"
Leo B .- "Oh, about the first five years she's nineteen."
-0-0-
Teacher-"What can you tell me about the North Pole?"
Johnny-"It's a green pole, about sixteen feet high."
Teacher-"What about the cli- mate ?"
Johnny-"The Eskimos climb it." -0-0-
Graham-"Say, Garns, do you want a job as pilot ?"
Garns-"Pilot on a ship?"
Graham-"No; in a livery stable." Garns-"What do I have to do?"
Graham-"Why, some fellow throws the straw out of the window, and you pile it.'
0-0-
Mr. Baker-"How is it, sir, that I find you kissing my daughter ?"
Donner W .- "Wonderful, sir! Won- derful !"
0-0
Guy-"Hey, there! Don't spit on the floor!"
Jenner-"What's the matter? Floor leak ?"
-0-0
"Is Sally taking Art?" "No; Mae's got him."
0-0-
Friddy-"Did you ever notice that successful men are genarlly bald?"
Duddy-"Certainly! They come out on top."
0-0-
Is it proper for an undertaker to say, "The more, the merrier?"
Eddie-"Did you know that they have a machine now that can tell you when you're lying?"
Baker-"Huh! I married one of them."
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Jim Little-"Please gimme a quar- ter, sir. I wanna new overcoat." Dale Thomas-"New overcoat! A quarter! How come?"
Jim-"I wanna eat in that swell res- taurant."
-0-0
Garns-"I'm an electrician. Last night at Kathryn's the fuse blew out, and I fixed it."
Bassett-"You're not an electrician; you're an idiot."
0-0
Lady-"Gee! It's tough to pay 50 cents a pound for meat."
Butcher-"Yes; but it's tougher if you pay 20."
(123)
-
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__ umb-"Hello! When is your mar- riage to Miss Snappy coming off ?" Skull-"It has been indefinitely postponed."
N .- "How come ?"
S .- "Oh, she married another fel- low."
0-
Tootie J .- "What made you think the collection was made to get the minister a new suit ?"
Gerald G .- "Because so many of the congregation put in buttons."
0-0-
A watch may have no gender, But you really can't efface The fact that nearly always There's a woman in the case. -0-0-
Miss D .- "Did you have a report on juvenile courts, Walter ?"
W. Kosht-"Not that I 'knowed' of." 0-0 Girl No. 1-"Where are you going?" Girl No. 2-"I'm walking for my complexion."
Girl No. 3-"Let me go along; I'm going to the drug store, too."
0-0-
Widow-"That man spelled John's name wrong on his headstone."
Family Friend-"My! that was a grave mistake."
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Judge (discharging prisoner)-"And in the future, see that you keep out of bad company."
Prisoner-"Thank you, your Honor! You won't see me here again."
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The Vegetarian's Letter Pumpkin Center, May (apple) 8. Sweet Potato:
Do you carrot all for me? My celery heart beets for you. My love is soft as squash, but as strong as onions. You are a peach, with your radish hair and your turnip nose. Your cherry lips and forget-me-not eyes call me. You are the apple of my eye, and if we canteloupe on a dan- deleon, lettuce marry, for I am sure we will make a happy pear.
I am plum daffydil over you, beans I have been going with you so long. When I look into your potato eyes, I feel like I am riding on a pink cloud eating ice cream smothered in violets. If you carrot all for me, I will call the Parsnip. My celery heart hops and I no longer have sweet peas. If any mangoes ahead of or egg plants his pin on you, you will have me to berry.
Buy, Buy, ( Aspara) Gus.
DeKalb Mortgage
Loan Company
AUBURN, INDIANA
BAKER'S BAKERY
Aunt Betty's Bread
Phone 82
(124)
To His Majesty, the Graduate: For Your Graduation Dress Up in a
Society Brand Suit
and
Walk-Over Shoes
KAYE KLOTHING KO.
Miss Tumey (calling over the tele- phone to gas plant to see about taking the Freshman General Science class) -"Hello! Is this the gas factory?" -0-0
H. Hilkey-"I don't look good in a dress with a round neck."
Joe Faylor-'No; not with a square head."
=0-0 "What does a boy usually get when he plays with fire?"
"He usually gets a warming." -0-0- "Now!" thundered Johnny, on a morning of unusual density on the part of his scholars, "you are all blockheads, but there must be one among you who excels in something even if only in crass ignorance. Let the biggest dunce in the school stand up.
The invitation was more in the na- ture of a bluff than anything else, but, to his surprise, one stolid-visaged lad, Geng, rose to his feet.
"Oh!" purred Johnny, "I am glad to see that one of you has the honesty to admit your ignorance."
"'Tisn't that, sir,,' said Geng, "but I hadn't the 'eart to see you standin' there by yourself."
AUBURN BROOM COMPANY
MAKERS OF
FINE BROOMS
AUBURN
INDIANA
(125)
F. M. Hines, M. D. L. N. Geisinger, M. D. D. M. Hines, M. D. A. V. Hines, M. D.
DRS, HINES AND GEISINGER
Office Corner Main and Tenth Streets AUBURN, INDIANA Phone 275
"Why did they call the middle ages the 'Dark Ages'?"
"Because the women kept their eyes dark."
"No; because there were so many knights."
-0-0-
"How human those waves are!" "Why do you say that?" "Because they are heavy swells when they strike this place, but they go away broke." 0-0-
This school surely does take an in- terest in a fellow. I read in the school paper that they will be very glad to hear of the death of any of their alumni.
0-0-
McIntyre-"You must be full of the subject about which you are going to speak."
Geng-"I'm going to talk about liquor."
-0-0- Mae Denny (in 5 and 10 cent store) -"A box of white shoe blacking, please." Joe Faylor-"Anything else?" Mae D .- "Oh, yes! An aluminum tin cup, and that's all."
-SAY IT WITH-
TEN EYCK & SON
FLOWERS
Largest Greenhouses in Northern Indiana
(126)
1
WHERE WILL THEY GO FROM HERE?
After they have called on the preacher they'll find "Life is real ; life is earnest."
Every time they call at our store they'll find Real Bargains, and find us earnestly trying to supply you
DRY GOODS and READY TO WEAR at LOWEST PRICES
BISHOP-McBRIDE CO.
OPPORTUNITY
presents itself in many ways. Let us help you keep up your appearance by Cleaning, Press- ing, Repairing for you.
IF IT'S DONE WITH HEAT YOU CAN DO IT BETTER WITH GAS
The Gas Company
ECONOMY
Phone 333
(127)
Marion B .- "Oh, Geng! where did you get that beautiful pearl tie pin ?" Geng-"Why, Marion, that isn't a pearl stick pin; that is just some soup I spilled on my necktie." -0- -0-
Ike and Jake are marooned on the ocean in a small boat.
Ike-"Oh, Jake, I see a sail!"
Jake-"But what good is that if we have no samples?"
0-0-
Miss DeVine (in Soph. History)- "The old gondolas they had, they used to paddle them in the back." 0-0-
Tracy has figured that his shoes cost him exactly $25.45. He says it's not the original cost, but the up- keep.
0-0
Prof. McKenney-"There's a lad with good stuff in him."
Coach Leitzman-"Let's follow him; maybe we can find out where he got it."
0-0-
Miss De Vine-"What are the three words most used in English in this class ?"
Helen Pollard-"I don't know." Miss D .- "Correct; sit down!"
East Side Grocery
WE
ARE
OPEN
EVERY
NIGHT
Phone 588
HOW RICH ARE YOU?
We are not referring now to money, stocks and bonds. We hope you have sufficient of these to meet your neces- sities and furnish you with the comforts of life, but not to damn you-but we are asking you to take an inventory and determine how rich you are in friendship, in good will and good fellowship.
"Old stuff," you say; a bromide that is applicable and fitting only for the banquet platform or to head the copy book.
Well, we do not know how old you are, but if you live long enough you will reach a time in your life when you will realize that the richness, the fullness the real joy of living are not purchasable with money, as essential as it is in the purchase of food and the payment of bills.
When the gray days come, as come they will, we want friends. Friends are easy to get and easy to lose. Think it over.
GEORGE W. KUHLMAN
(128)
WE DO DRY CLEANING, PRESSING, REPAIRING ALTERING
Ladies' and Gents' Garments
Any work not satisfactory made right at our expense
Otto Graf
Corner Ninth and Main Streets Upstairs
TRY POTTER'S
for
Fresh Meats and Groceries
SOUTH SIDE
Phone 108
Fair One-"My looks are concerned, not yours; that moustache keeps brushing my complexion off."
-0-0-
Miss M. (Senior English)-"Is that as long as you intend to make it, Geneva ?"
G. Apt-"I intend to do it over." 0-0-
Miss M .- "Your theme would per- haps need some dates, Lowell."
L. Bourns-"I have plenty."
0-0-
L. Bourns-"Beauty pins are made by sticking common pins in beauties."
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K. Tracy-"Witches were supposed to be able to change themselves into animals, but they never had tails."
0-0-
Von Cook-"Doc Johnson rode (wrote) his dictionary between 1759 and 1760."
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Judy-"Do they really eat on the stage?"
G. Phelps-"No; they eat on the tables."
0-0-
Willing to Learn
Irate Father-"Young man, I'll teach you to kiss my daughter!" Saphead-"Thank you, sir."
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Miss D .- "Explain the appellate courts, Paul."
Paul Parker-"Well, these men set together on a case."
0-0
Peggy-"No they have passed a bill that German may be teached again in Indiana."
0-0
Mr. Vass (Business English)-"Do not form the habit of making a dash after everything."
-0-0-
Mule in barnyard, lazy and sleek; Tracy with pin in the end of a stick; Kin sneaks up, quiet as a mouse; Doctor fears worst at Tracy's house. 0-0
A colored minister one Sunday morning was lacking money, so in church he made this statement: "Broth'n, dare am a man in dis con- grashun who is intimate wid other people's wifes. I'm not goin' to men- tion any names, but dis man better drop five dollahs in the box as it is passed."
There were nineteen five dollar bills in that box and a note that said, "Here is five dollars; I brings you de odder two next Sunday, by Gorry!"
(129)
THE PROMISE OF HAPPY DAYS
Some day in June, when happy hours abound, a wonderful girl and a wonderful boy will leave their friends in a shower of rice and start to roam.
Then life will slip its tether and youth will be full of the prom- ise of happy days to come.
There is pride of ownership in a DIAMOND or WEDDING RING purchased in our store, and reveals a love of things that really count. It's like old treasures good taste without dis- play, and judgment that is rare.
ED. W. HICKS, JEWELER
Baker's Grocery
Located in New Masonic Tem- ple Building. The Grocery that features
THE JUDSON
QUALITY AND SERVICE
Confectionery
INDIVIDUAL DELIVERY
Phone 25
(130)
AUBURN STEAM
LAUNDRY
Phone 206
B. H. Schwartz
Proprietor
MADE
19
IN AUBURN
Luggage Carriers Outing Chairs Camp Grids Golf Bag Holders Fancy Radiator Caps Windshield Wipers Coils and other accessories
For the tourist, picnickers, scouting parties, auto owner, outdoor trips-to give pleasure and comfort at outings.
GLADIATOR MFG. CO.
Auburn - Indiana
Doctor-"Stick out your tongue, little boy."
Little Boy-"I guess not! I got licked for that yesterday."
0-0-
Jim Rainier says he would like to hear a good hair-lip. He thinks they are something like a saxophone player.
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Barber-"Will you have the back of your neck shaved, sir?"
Jake Saltsman-"Nope; I can't see it myself, and nobody else cares."
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Miss DeVine-"What became of the city of Lyre ?"
W. Freeman-"It was punctured." -0-0-
Helen C .- "There is something in my shoe. What do you suppose it is ?"
Pearl R .- "What?" Helen C .- "My foot."
0-0-
In Doubt-"Dear Editor: I was out with a young man last night. As he said good-bye, he kissed my hand. Did he do right?"
Answer-As we have never seen your face, we cannot tell.
-0- -0-
I know a girl that paints, and she certainly can draw men.
-0-0-
Skinny-"Will the moon shine to- night?"
Whitie-"In some people's cellars." 0-0-
Peggy (at a slumber party)-"Hen! Wake up! What's that noise ?"
Hen (sleepily)-"Oh, roll over and go to sleep! It's only the bed tick- ing."
0-0-
Caesar's dead and buried; So is Cicero,
And where those two old geeks have gone, I wish their works would go. -0-0-
Wanted:
To see a knot tied in a cord of wood. A small phial of tears from a weeping willow.
A few coppers from the chain of time. A feather from the wing of a dog that flew at a burglar.
A set of springs for the bed of the ocean.
A word from the tongue of a wagon. To know if the brow of a hill ever becomes wrinkled.
A plank from the bridge of a rain- bow.
A whisper from the 'Bridge of Sighs."
6
(131)
Miss D .- "How much is Latin used today ?" E. Stewart-"About one period."
0-0 "I found a button in my salad." "Came off in the dressing, I sup- pose."
0-0-
E. H .- "Say do you know where I can dig you up a fellow for tonight?" L. F .- "No; where?"
E. H .- "In the cemetery."
-0-0 ---
Virginia S .- "Donner, take your seat."
Donner West-"I have my seat with me, thank you!"
Miss D .- What is watered stock,
Von ?"
Von Cook-"Watered stock is-is- well, they water the stock in the morning."
-0-0- Dode Nelson-"Talking is my only enjoyment."
Miss Thornburg-"Then you have one continual round of pleasure."
-0-0-
Auto Suggestion
Ride, and the girls ride with you. Walk, and you walk alone.
0-0-
Eddie-"Say, Bassett, were you ever pinched for going too fast ?"
L. Bassett-"No, but I've been slapped."
0-0- Miss Thrush (in English class)- "Two burglars stealthily opened the library window. Softly they crawled in and began to crack the safe. The clock struck one-"
Skinny-"Which one?"
0-0
Miss DeVine-"Make a mental out- line for tomorrow."
W. Kosht-"De we have to hand it in ?"
-0-0-
Miss Eagles-"What would you do with this problem? 'If a boy had forty nickels and dimes-'"
Robert Little-"Spend them." -0-0- We're the best class since beginning of time,
And teachers think our work is just fine.
When work is piled up, we do not complain,
And we're always on hand, be it sun- shine or rain. As a class we're the best that you ever did see, 'Cause we're the class of '23.
THE WAY TO BETTER LIGHT
The Electric Shop
NATIONAL MAZDA
THE WAY TO BETTER LIGHT
UTRWAL LIMP WORKS
IN
FOR ALL THINGS ELECTRICAL
West 7th St. Phone 545
THE
Brandon Lumber
Company
QUALITY AND SERVICE
Phone 150
(132)
Dr. J. E. Graham
DENTIST AND X-RAY
SPECIALIST
401 South Main St.
AUBURN, INDIANA
To the Juniors-"Conceit, like every other seat, must be sat on."-Seniors.
0-0-
"A caller with a poem wishes to see you, sir."
"The devil! What's his name?" "It's a young lady, sir, and she's a peach."
"Oh! Show her in. I'll be glad, ahem! to look at her lines."
0-0-
Shoe Clerk (to high school student) -"Do you prefer long or short
vamps ?"
H. S. Student-"Why, personally I like the short blonde variety."
0-0-
Lady-"Which end shall I get off at ?"
Conductor-"It's all the same to me, lady; both ends stop."
-0-0-
Mother-"As I passed the parlor door last night, I saw Mr. Percy's face very close to yours."
Daughter-"Yes, Ma; he's so near sighted."
0-0-
Agreeable
Park Policeman-"You're pinched! Can't you read the sign ?"
Stroller-"Sure; it says, 'Fine for walking on the grass,' and I agree." 0-0
Sweet Young Thing-"Oh, Jack! I'm awfully glad you proposed."
Hopeful Him-"Then you accept me ?"
S. Y. T .- "Well, no; but your pro- posal puts me even with Pansy Smith. who had the most of any girl in our set."
0-0-
One-"I hear they've called off the circus for this afternoon."
Two-"You don't say! Why was that ?"
One-"The cook left the coffee pot outside his tent, and the elephant swallowed the grounds."
He-"Don't you know her? She lives on the square."
She-"Possibly so, but she doesn't go in my circle." -0-0
A western judge once had several hams stolen from his smoke house. He missed them at once, but said nothing about it to anyone. A few days later a man said to him:
"Say, Judge, I heard you had some hams stole t'other night."
"Yes," replied the judge, very con- fidentially, "but don't tell anyone. You and I are the only ones who know it."
Lige Heating and
Ventilating Co.
0-0-
(133)
THOMAS & CLEMENT
G R O
M
E
A
C
T
Phone 115
R
M
Y
SERVICE INCOMPARABLE
A
Ask any of our patrons
R
K
E
T
THE
AUBURN
LUMBER
A PLEASANT PLACE TO EAT
CO.
South Main Street
AUBURN - INDIANA
(134)
The AMERICAN CAFE
A N D
for
HOME MADE
BAKED GOODS
Fresh Daily
E. D. BOND
Home Bakery
Phone 133
You may grow to great riches and glory,
You may toil for yourself through the day;
You may write in your record and story
The struggles you've met on the way;
But vain is the fame that you boast of,
And wasted the years that y ou scan-
Your strength you have not made the most of,
If you've rendered no service to man.
CULBERTSON HDW. CO.
Dealers in Stoves, Ranges, Tin- ware, Paints, Oils, Glass, Agricul- tural Implements, etc.
Dewie in Senior History)-"They took their masque and all their dress off."
-0-0-
Teacher-"Has anyone a question ?" Coxy-"Yes; what time is it?" -0-0-
Miss Devine (to Ward Swarts)- "Your conduct is outrageous; I will have to consult your father."
Ward-"You better not! It will cost you $2; he's a doctor."
-0-0-
Father-"Oscar, where were you last night?"
Oscar L .- "Oh, just sitting around in the parlor with Gertrude P., read- ing."
Father-"Well, I don't see how you could read with the lights out." -0-0
La Rea Foote-"Where's Dewey ?" Mr. Graham-"Out to lunch."
La Rea-"Will he be back after lunch ?"
Mr. G .- "No; that's what he went out after."
0-0
"We women have organized a so- ciety to reduce rents."
"I am mighty glad to hear it. You can begin on little Johnny's trousers." 0-0-
Ward Swarts-"Do you know what an Arithmetic bug is?"
Bud Baker-"No; what is it?"
Ward-"It's a cootie."
Bud-"How do you figure that ?"
Ward-"Well, it adds to your dis- comfort, subtracts from your pleas- ures, multiplies rapidly, and divides your attention."
Bud-"Have an onion."
0-0-
Miss De Vine-"Everybody bring something about the missionaries of your church."
Marshall Link-"I'm a heathen." -0-0-
"I met your sister on the street to- day; she looks shorter."
"Yes; she married and is settling down."
-0-0-
Hotel Keeper-"Sambo, those eggs are boiled too hard. Take my watch and boil five eggs three minutes by it."
Enter Sambo five minutes later with eggs and watch on the same plate, The watch was wet.
Hotel Keeper-"What have you been doing to my gold watch? Why, it's all wet!"
Sambo-"Yes, sah; I b'iled de eggs by de watch. All right dis time, sah?"
(135)
1
AFTER A WORKOUT ON THE FLOOR
A COOL PLUNGE IN THE POOL
.20+
F
Y. M. C. A.
Auburn's Character Building Institution
(136)
IDEALS __
SCHAAL & BROS GO
-
HECKMAN BINDERY, INC. Bound-To-Please"
JULY 03
N. MANCHESTER, INDIANA 46962
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