USA > Ohio > Lucas County > Toledo > Hubbell's Toledo blue book: a family and social directory of Toledo and vicinity 1903/1904 > Part 15
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A married lady always bears her husband's name, during his life, on her card. Some discussion is now going on as to whether she should continue to call herself "Mrs. Octavius Brown" or " Mrs. Mary Brown " after his death. The burden of opinion is in favor of the latter-particularly as a son may bear his father's name, so there will be two Mrs. Octavius Browns. No lady wishes to be known as "old Mrs. Octavius Brown," and as we do not use the convenient title of Dowager, we may as well take the alternative of the Christian name. We cannot say "Mrs. Octavius Brown, Jr.," if the husband has ceased to be a junior. Many married ladies hesitate to discard the name by which they have always been known. Perhaps the simple "Mrs. Brown " is the best, after all.
Ladies can, and often do, write informal invitations on the visiting-card. To teas, readings, and small parties, may be added the day of reception. It is convenient and proper to send these cards by post. Everything can be sent by post now, except an invitation to dinner, and that must always be sent by private hand, and an answer must be immediately returned in the same formal manner.
After balls, amateur concerts, theatrical parties, garden- parties, or "at homes," cards should be left by all invited guests within a week after the invitation, particularly if the invited guest has been obliged to decline. These cards may be left without inquiring for the hostess, if time presses; but it is more polite to inquire for the hostess, even if it is not her day. If it is her reception day, it would be rude not
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to inquire, enter, and pay a personal visit. After a dinner one must inquire for the hostess and pay a personal visit. It is not considered necessary to leave cards after a tea. A lady leaves her cards as she enters the hall, pays her visit, and the etiquette of a visiting acquaintance is thus estab- lished for a year. She should, however, give a tea herself, asking all her entertainers, or she should call herself.
It is well for all housekeepers to devote one day in the week to the reception of visitors-the morning to trades- people and those who may wish to see her on business, and the afternoon to those who call socially. A mistress should inform her servant after breakfast what he is to say to all comers. It is very offensive to a visitor to be let in, and then be told that she can not see the lady of the house. She feels personally insulted, and as if, had she been some other person, the lady of the house would perhaps have seen her. In calling on a friend who is staying with people with whom you are not acquainted, always leave a card for the lady of the house. It is never proper to call on a guest without asking for the hostess.
When a lady is "not at home" the lady calling would hand the servant three cards, one of her own, and two of her husband's; but if a Mr. and Mrs. card, then one of her husband's would be required; her card would be left for the mistress of the house; a lady leaves a card for a lady only, while a gentleman leaves a card for both husband and wife. A lady accompanied by her husband, and the lady being at home, the husband would leave one of his cards for the master of the house, the only card which would be left. If the master of the house was also at home, then no cards would be left. Calling where there is a daughter or daughters, the lady calling would leave a separate card for the daughter. She would not leave her husband's card for the daughter.
When a call is made without any previous assurance
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of finding the person called upon at home, the caller usually takes the requisite number of cards from her case before ringing the doorbell. If she is a married woman calling upon a married woman, and one or more daughters, she takes two of her cards from the case. Her two cards are enough if she asks to see the ladies. If the hostess is entertaining a sister, a friend, her mother or a married daughter, the lady calling then takes out three cards.
OBLIGATORY CALLS.
It is not only a civility, but a social necessity, when one has served as a bridesmaid, maid of honor, usher, or best man, to call upon the bride's mother shortly after the wedding, and upon the bride directly after she returns from her honeymoon. The guests at a home wedding, wedding reception or breakfast must call in due course on the mother of the bride, and later on the bride. When a man has served as a pall-bearer, he is required to call on the bereaved family within ten days or three weeks after the funeral, though this call is rarely more than the leaving of a card, along with a kindly inquiry.
A card with an appropriate sentiment written upon it, or a box of cut flowers and a card should be sent imme- diately when death occurs in the household of a friend.
Cards to inquire after friends during their illness must be left in person and not sent by post. On a lady's visiting- card must be written, above the printed name, "To inquire," and nothing else should be added to these words.
If the person inquired after was sufficiently recovered to return thanks in person, the usual visiting-card, with "Return thanks for kind inquiries" written above the printed name, is the usual mode of returning thanks, and is all sufficient for the purpose.
A member of society who is ill through the season may
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return the calls of her friends by proxy. A sister or a daughter may be delegated to fulfill this duty.
A woman who practices medicine should use two kinds of cards. One should bear her name, thus, Dr. Eleanor Baxter Brown, or Eleanor Baxter Brown, M. D., with her address in one corner, and her office hours in another. This for professional uses only. Another, for social uses, should bear her name thus: Miss Eleanor Baxter Brown, or Mrs. Thomas Russell Brown, with only her house address in the corner.
THE WEDDING DRESS FOR WOMEN.
A maiden bride should dress in white and wear a veil even at the simplest home wedding. When the bride, perhaps, has passed her first youth, the white gown, the orange blossoms and the filmy veil are essential outward signs of all the sweet dignity that characterize this most important event of her life.
Whatever the material of the wedding-dress may be, its skirt should boast a train, and for a morning or afternoon wedding the waist should be high in the throat and long in the sleeves. For an evening wedding a waist cut open in the throat and without sleeves, is good taste, and it is optional whether the veil is worn on or off the face. A few jewels only, and those preferably the gifts of the groom or the bride's nearest and dearest relatives, should be worn to the altar.
Brides who are married before 12 o'clock, or who go directly from the altar to a train or boat, wear a becoming street-dress of ladies'-cloth, veiling or silk of some color. Gloves to correspond with the the color of the gown.
On the occasion of a second marriage, a bride wears a traveling-gown of some becoming color, or when her wedding is elaborately celebrated in church, a handsome reception costume is suitable. This dress and her bouquet must not be purely white.
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THE WEDDING DRESS FOR MEN.
The essential dress for the groom at a wedding celebra- ted in the afternoon or morning consists of a black or dark- blue frock coat, high white double-breasted waistcoat or one · that matches the coat in texture, gray trousers, white linen, a full folded white silk or satin necktie holding a pearl pin, gray suède gloves, patent-leather shoes and a top-hat.
For an evening wedding, complete evening dress is cus- tomary-namely, clawhammer coat, black trousers and low- cut white waistcoat, with small pearl studs in the immaculate shirt-front, and a white lawn tie around a standing collar, and also white gloves and patent-leather shoes.
To an afternoon or noon wedding the masculine guest wears a black frock coat, gray trousers, a waistcoat of white piqué or one that matches the coat, patent-leather shoes, gray gloves, white linen, a four-in-hand, ascot or butterfly bow. tie of satin or silk in a cheerful color, and a silk hat. At an evening wedding full evening dress.
For morning weddings, the same dress as for an afternoon ceremony is frequently adopted, but more suitable is a full suit of silver-gray wool, the coat a rather long cutaway, what is known as the English walking-coat.
The best man dresses as nearly as possible like the groom. Ushers wear for morning and afternoon weddings, black frock coats, gray trousers, white piqué or black waistcoats, gray gloves and full folded neckties in a dark tone of silk picked out in a brighter brocaded pattern. The bouton- nières sent by the bride are always worn, and also the groom's scarf-pins. Ushers usually agree among themselves, dress as nearly alike as possible, and occasionally ushers serve at morning weddings in black cutaway coats and waistcoats, worn with gray trousers, or in complete suits of gray, with cutaway coats.
Ushers remain fully gloved while serving in the aisles and taking part in the ceremony. Ushers do not carry their
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hats during the service, but leave them with some responsi- ble person in the church vestibule. This person must be ready at the conclusion of the ceremony to hand every gen- tleman his hat as the procession passes out to the carriages. If there is no aisle procession and the ushers go out at the rear of the church they leave their hats in the vestry-room.
THE BALL DRESS FOR WOMEN.
For a ball the women guests and the hostess of the oc- casion wear their most elaborate evening costumes, short sleeved and décolleté, with the hair high, and arranged, if preferred, with jewels. The dress of a débutante is invaria- bly of white or of some very delicately tinted and cloudlike fabric. The bodice, in the majority of cases, cut open in a square, round or heart shape over the chest and shoulders, and lace sleeves or long gloves cover the arms. A débu- tante does not wear jewels in her hair, nor does she wear flashing diamonds or a great display of pearls.
THE BALL DRESS FOR MEN.
At very informal dances in the country the men who gather from their yachts, clubhouses and the like, are allowed to appear in white duck or flannels, if nothing more formal is obtainable at the short notice given them. But under any other conditions, the black clawhammer coat with trousers to match, white waistcoat, white linen, and white necktie form the only possible evening dress,
DRESS AT THE THEATRE AND OPERA.
The woman who attends an evening performance at the theatre wears a high-necked and long-sleeved gown of handsome texture and elaborate decoration, such a costume, in fact, as would appear to advantage at an afternoon recep- tion. For an opera box, a gown of becoming color, rich
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fabric, and cut low in the neck and short in the sleeves. White satin and diamonds are none too elaborate for a per- formance of "Faust" or "Lohengrin" as witnessed from a box.
For a gentleman, when accompanying ladies to the theatre, opera or a concert, whether seats in a box or the orchestra are to be occupied, the proper costume is that described as appropriate for a ball or formal dinner. When a gentleman attends the opera with a man friend, he may assume the privilege of substituting a short-skirted dinner- jacket for the swallowtail evening coat, and with this a felt hat, a black silk or satin bow tie, and a waistcoat that matches his coat. A collapsible crown is more suitable to be worn with an evening coat than a stiff silk hat.
DRESS FOR LUNCHEONS AND BREAKFASTS.
The suitable gown for a large and ornate luncheon, for the woman guest as well as for the hostess, is simply the best afternoon costume she possesses. In winter this would consist of a high-necked and long-sleeved toilet of silk, velvet, or cloth; and for a guest, delicate shoes, a rather brilliant hat, and white or light-colored gloves. In summer, a gay and becoming toilet of taffeta, foulard or organdie, a pretty hat and light gloves.
A man's dress for a sumptuous luncheon is, in winter, a black frock coat and waistcoat to match the coat, and gray trousers; white linen, a broadly folded tie in rich colors, patent-leather shoes, a high hat, and rather heavy gray gloves.
For a breakfast at twelve, the costume is the same as for a luncheon. For an earlier breakfast a complete morning suit in brown or blue. The coat sack in shape, the linen is pure white, or a colored shirt can be worn, with a four-in- hand or bow tie, derby hat, walking gloves, and black
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lustreless shoes. To summer luncheons and breakfasts, a man may wear white duck, or very light striped flannel trousers, colored linen, a white waistcoat and short double- breasted blue serge or flannel coat. Brown or white Oxford ties and a straw sailor would be thoroughly in keeping with the occasion.
DRESS FOR AN AFTERNOON RECEPTION.
The hostess at an afternoon tea wears a high-necked, long-sleeved gown. The women guests follow suit, and though a tailor-made or handsome morning dress may be worn to a reception, the fashion is now in favor of elegant high-necked, long-sleeved gowns of rich colors, fancifully decorated and worn with becoming hats, white or very light-toned gloves and dress shoes. While the hostess, her daughters, and those ladies who pour tea for her, appear with heads bare and hair elaborately dressed, the women guests do not lay aside their hats or veils or remove their gloves. Wraps, however, are put off in the dressing-room.
For an evening reception, the hostess wears an elegant gown, short in sleeves and décolleté at the neck, with a long train. Handsome jewels and an elaborate coiffure add to her appearance. All women guests imitate the hostess' example, wearing what is best known as elegant dinner- gowns, with jewels, light or white gloves, slippers, and their hair elaborately dressed. The host and all masculine guests at an afternoon reception in the fall or winter wear double or single-breasted frock coats of black or very dark gray soft cheviot, and double or single-breasted waistcoat to match, or of fancy cloth. Trousers of gray, white linen, a broad folding tie of a light color, a high hat, gray gloves and patent-leather shoes. In the dressing-room or hall men lay aside their hats, overcoats, and either take off one or both gloves and carry them in the hand; the right hand, bare of its glove, must be offered to the hostess.
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DRESS AT MUSICALES.
For an evening musicale men wear full evening dress, the host as well as the guests. Women wear décolleté gowns, jewels and light gloves. For an afternoon musicale the dress appropriate for afternoon receptions is proper both for men and women.
GARDEN-PARTY DRESS.
While women always dress for a garden-party in their lightest flower-festooned hats and delicate foulards or organdies, and carry their fluffiest sunshades, and wear their whitest gloves, men are privileged to appear in either yachting flannels and straw hats or frock coats and high hats.
At a garden party in June, an eminently appropriate toilet for a man would be white duck trousers, white shoes, a white pique waistcoat, white or colored linen shirt, with a white standing or high turn-over collar, a small colored bow, straw hat and a dark serge sack coat. Gloves, as a rule, are conspicuous by their absence at any but garden- parties given early in the season and attended by frock- coated gentlemen from town, or at the afternoon fêtes given at Newport.
DRESS WHEN COACHING.
For a matron or a débutante asked to drive on a coach, either a fluffy muslin and flowery hat, or a tailor-made suit with plain walking-hat, is the suitable costume.
RIDING DRESS FOR WOMEN.
The habit for a woman who rides on horseback is of black, dark-blue, bottle-green, or gray Oxford mixture, is made with a skirt that falls just a trifle over her feet when she sits in her saddle, and with a close-fitting waist of goods
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like the skirt, cut with short or long tails, buttoning very high, and opening with small revers under the chin, to reveal a straight white linen collar and black satin or white satin bow. The hair is dressed low, and a small derby hat has rather usurped the place once held by the black silk "topper." High laced shoes, or patent or soft-finished leather boots should cover the feet ; heavy brown or gray gloves, and a bone-handled crop is carried in place of a whip.
RIDING DRESS FOR MEN.
Full riding-breeches, fitting the leg closely at the knee, heavy boxcloth or leather leggings, fastening up the front of the leg from the ankle and reaching well to the cuff of the breeches, a high-buttoned waistcoat, coat with rather short cutaway tails, a derby or alpine hat, a stock tie of piqué, and heavy brown laced shoes and riding-gloves. A riding-crop with a bone handle is carried in lieu of a riding-whip.
GOLFING DRESS FOR WOMEN.
A woman's dress is invariably a severely plain wool, duck or brown linen skirt falling to her instep, a shirt-waist of percale or flannel, a simple leather or dark ribbon belt, broad-soled, laced shoes of brown or black leather, and a straw or felt hat with brim jutting over her face, trimmed sparingly with a scarf or ribbon. In cool weather a short coat of the same goods as the skirt is de rigueur, but many young ladies elect to wear jackets of golfing pink or green broadcloth trimmed with gilt buttons.
GOLFING DRESS FOR MEN.
In summer a lounging-coat and long trousers of light flannel or white serge, with a soft-bosomed negligée shirt; or with gray tweed knickerbockers and waistcoat, a short coat
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of golfing pink or golfing green goods is worn, decorated with gilt buttons showing the wearer's initials or some club device. Some men wear their bicycle suits.
BICYCLING DRESS FOR MEN.
The accepted dress for the wheelman to-day is, in cool spring and autumn weather, a complete suit, coat, waist- coat and knickerbockers of serviceable gray or brown tweed, the coat cut very like an English pea-jacket; or what we prefer to call a "lounging-coat." The waistcoat is high but- toned, and finished at the throat with a high roll-over linen collar, and necktie of dull red or blue lustreless silk or a piqué stock tie; colored linen seems more in keeping with the rough and ready cycling suit than white. Gray golf stockings, tastefully variegated with touches of black, white and sober blue, or brown hose with very fine crisscrossing lines in yellow and red now predominate; high or half-high laced shoes of black or brown leather. Heavy gray or brown gloves and a small peaked cap made of the same goods as the suit complete the costume.
AUTOMOBILING DRESS FOR WOMEN.
White duck tailor-made suit, sailor hat, and white canvas shoes with large gilt buckles.
WHEN WRITING TO PERSONS OF TITLE.
To the President of the United States, an official letter commences, Sir.
Conclusion : I have the honor to remain your most obedi- ent servant.
Commencement of a social letter : My Dear Mr. Presi- dent.
Conclusion : I have the honor to remain most respectfully (or sincerely) yours.
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Inscription on envelope : President Theodore Roosevelt.
To the Vice-President, an official letter commences, Sir, or Dear Sir.
Conclusion : I have, sir, the honor to remain your most obedient servant.
Commencement of a social letter : My Dear Mr. B -. Conclusion : As given for a president.
Inscription on envelope : The Vice-President,
To a Justice of the Supreme Court, an official letter com- mences and concludes as in the case of a Vice-President.
Conclusion : Believe me truly (or sincerely) yours, etc.
Inscription on envelope : Mr. Justice John Brown.
To a Senator, an official letter commences and concludes as to a Vice-President.
Commencement of a social letter : My Dear Senator Matthews.
Conclusion : As to a Justice.
Inscription on envelope : Senator Henry I. Matthews, or To the Hon. Henry I. Matthews.
To a member of the House of Representatives, an official letter commences as to a Senator.
Conclusion : As in the case of a Vice-President.
Commencement of a social letter : My Dear Mr. Jones. Conclusion : As to a Justice.
Inscription on envelope : Honorable Charles P. Jones.
To a member of the Cabinet, an official letter commences and concludes as to a Vice-President.
The commencement and conclusion of a social letter are as in the case of a member of the House of Representatives.
Inscription on envelope : Honorable William F. Peele, Secretary of State.
To the Governor of a State, an official letter commences : Sir.
Conclusion : I have the honor, sir, to remain your obedi- ent servant.
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Inscription on envelope : Governor Horace B. Trenholm.
To a Mayor an official letter commences : Sir or Your Honor.
Conclusion : As to a Governor.
Inscription on envelope : His Honor the Mayor of Toledo, Samuel M. Jones.
To a Bishop, either an official or a social letter com- mences : Right Reverend and Dear Sir.
Conclusion : I have the honor to remain your humble servant.
Inscription on envelope : To the Right Reverend William A. Leonard, Bishop of Ohio, Cleveland, O., or The Right Reverend, the Bishop of Ohio.
To a Priest or Minister an official letter commences : Reverend and Dear Sir.
A social letter, if to a Priest : Dear Father Clapp. If to a Minister : Dear Mr. Hall.
Conclusion : In an official letter the same as to a bishop; in a social letter, I beg to remain faithfully yours.
Inscription on envelope : The Reverend Walter C. Clapp. But if the person addressed is a Doctor of Divinity, the letters D. D. may be added to his name, or the address may read Reverend Dr. John Porterman Hall.
To a Bishop of the M. E. Church: Reverend and Dear Bishop.
Inscription on envelope to the Archdeacon : The Vener- able, the Archdeacon of Ohio, or The Venerable A. A. Abbott, Archdeacon of Ohio.
Inscription on envelope to the Dean of a Cathedral : The Very Reverend C D. Williams, D. D., or the Very Reverend, the Dean of Trinity Cathedral.
Inscription on envelope to a Roman Catholic Cardinal: His Eminence, Cardinal Gibbons.
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TABLE SERVICE.
The subject of table decorations is a large topic by itself. Cut-glass candlesticks will add much to the beauty of the dinner-table. These are the small candlesticks for each corner or in a circle in the center of the table, but no candelabra, for these find no place in up-to-date table decorations. The shades will agree with the floral decora- tions in color, and the tones of the china will not in any way clash with any of them. The glasses for the table best liked by women of refined taste are of rock crystal. Another quaint novelty in glass is the cocktail set with red cherries blown into the pieces so as to give the effect of reality. There are pretty little crème de menthe sets, with a small bottle and glasses in cut glass, or with decorations in gold, which go into the library or den, or even the drawing-room, with the coffee, after a small dinner.
Different kinds of glasses have been growing recently, and champagne glasses are fourteen and sixteen inches tall, the old shallow bowl-like cup on a quaintly shaped stem. Other glasses which have acquired height are for cordials. These, which are in Bohemian glass, in red and gold, or green and gold, stand eight and ten inches on their slender stems.
Speaking about fine glass, one may mention a new rose- bowl, a squatty, bottle-like affair, which holds the rose stems together, but which allows the blossoms to separate and fall over it.
But to return to plates. There will be a set for each course for the dinner, and they will be any of the well- known makes: Doulton, Minton, Coalport, Copeland, Cauldon, Royal Worcester, Crown Derby, and Wedgwood. The new china of this last make for the White House has caused quite a demand for Wedgwood.
For the place plate, which is to be found on the table with
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the decorations. They are called sometimes "conversation plates," owing to the deep rich borders, as a rule with groups, figures and heads in the center, copies of paintings by the old masters of the French and German schools.
For the oysters there will not be dishes with the place for each individual oyster, but a deep rounding plate, which is filled with cracked ice, upon which the oysters in the half- shell are placed. There is not much to be said about the soup plate. It will be soft and warm in color, and will not conflict in any way with the deep tones of the place plate.
The fish and game plates have elaborate borders, with the game or fish scene in the center.
Monograms and coats of arms find their way upon china, in the center for the place plates, but a little aside of the center for service plates, or upon the edge where they will not be injured by the use of the knife. It is on plates of plain colors, white and gold or cream and gold, that the monogram or coat of arms is used.
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