USA > Ohio > Lucas County > Toledo > Hubbell's Toledo blue book: a family and social directory of Toledo and vicinity 1903/1904 > Part 16
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With the roast there comes the nearest approach to the old-time dinner-set. The plates, big platter for the joint, and the vegetable and sauce dishes will match if the table service is of china. It is possible that the roast will be brought to the table upon its big platter, but will be removed immediately to be served from the side-table or pantry. So the game or fish, if decorative, may also be brought to the table and removed, and the turkey may also find its way there. With the ordinary roast, while the vegetable dishes will match the platter and service plates, which are big ten-inch roast size, the turkey may be served on a big turkey platter, with possibly plates to match.
Silver should never be handled save as it is used. To derange the order of the silver by playing with it, is an annoyance to the hostess.
Nothing should be eaten with a spoon that can be with
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a fork, and the spoon should always be used from instead of toward the eater.
It is bad form to turn the wine-glass. Stop its service by a negative inclination of the head, or, if it is filled, leave it untouched if conscientiously opposed to its use.
Ribbons are no longer used for decorations for the table.
MRS. HILLER'S SUGGESTIONS.
The essentials of a perfectly arranged table are that the tablecloth shall be well laundried, put on perfectly straight (two people can put a tablecloth on better than one person), and all the table service put in exactly the right place.
For a simple dinner of three courses-soup, meat and two vegetables, dessert: Put a plate on for each person. At the right side of a plate place a knife, with the sharp edge toward the plate; next to the knife a soup-spoon, with the open side of the bowl up. At the left place a fork, next to the fork the napkin. Put the glass for water in line with the end of the blade of the knife. Put salt-cellars or shakers at convenient distances; if salt-cellars, place a small saltspoon on each one. Put a mat for the platter before the carver, and one on each side of the table for the vegetables. Place the carving-knife at the right of the carver, and the fork at the left, and a tablespoon in front of him. Put a tablespoon where each dish of vegetables is to be placed, also at the other end of the table.
Butter is only served at breakfast and luncheon. When bread-and-butter plates are used, place them on the left.
At the ceremonious dinner, the roof is the introduction, and the hostess introduces no one, unless it be a man and woman, visitors or guests of honor, who are to be seated together.
Bouillon is only served for lunch, never for dinner.
Cocktails and crème de menthe are only served in the drawing-room, den or library, never at the table.
275
ETIQUETTE NOTES
Invitations to a formal dinner-party should be sent out two weeks in advance, and should be answered as soon as received, so as to permit another guest to be invited without making it evident that he or she was not originally invited.
Each guest should arrive fifteen minutes before the stated dinner-hour. The gentleman, on entering, should be given a card bearing the name of the lady he is to escort to the dining-room, with the letter R or L guiding him to the right or left. The hostess should place the guest of honor at the head, the host at the foot, and she herself should sit as near the butler's pantry as possible. The place-card should be a rich, plain affair, of the thinnest cardboard, with the only decoration the monogram or crest, and the name of the guest distinctly written thereon. Chairs should not be placed under the table. The lady, grasping her dinner-gown, should go to the right of her chair and place her train to the left as she seats herself.
Ten covers and eight courses make the ideal dinner- party, more than twelve guests being extremely unwise.
The napkins, found folded to the left just above the forks, have one corner turned back, forming a pocket to hold a small dinner-roll. This roll is not to be eaten, its function being to assist the diner in expeditiously placing articles of food upon the fork. The napkin should be left folded through the center and laid across the lady's lap, and under no circumstances brought either midway or under the chin. The gentleman should unfold the napkin entirely and place it across the right knee. Mathematical precision should be observed in the table sittings. One inch from the edge of the table are placed the place plates (which are to remain on the table till the roast or fillet of beef is served), to the right and left of which are placed the necessary pieces of silver -eight in all - spoon, game, dinner-knives, oyster-forks, soup-spoons, etc. In a semi- circle to the right stand the regulation size wine-glasses276
TOLEDO BLUE BOOK
four in number. Pepper and salt are provided for every two covers, a little to the left, and a small silver boat for salted almonds. Directly in front of each cover stands a single cut-glass candlestick, with shades to harmonize with flowers used in a low dish in the center of the table. Nothing else should be placed on the table. The dishes passed to each guest should be held by attendant on a level of five inches from the table. The hostess to be served first. The order of service : Clams or oysters, brought in on a bed of ice, with condiments. Soup follows, with the first wine-glass filled with sherry. The soup-plate and sherry-glass must be removed together.
Fish, garnished with potatoes, and a cucumber salad, served on a large cut-glass dish, comprise the next course, the tall glass being filled with Rhine wine. After this course, pickles, olives, celery or endives can be served, to remain on the table. Fifth, the entrée, an oyster pattie, to be eaten with a fork. Then the service plates, ten inches in diameter, take the place of the "place" plates, and the heavier part of the meal is introduced, which can consist of a fillet of beef, roast lamb with peas, or vegetables on a side- dish; potatoes, also gravy, being passed. "Punch is nice to be served here," or champagne. Following this come the game, a fritter or jelly. Then a salad ; ninth, a hot des- sert; tenth, cold dessert, with cheese or wafers, this con- stituting the last course. The gentlemen must escort the ladies into the drawing-room, where after-dinner coffee and crème de menthe are served, and the gentlemen return to the dining-room to indulge in a smoke.
No centerpieces are used for dinner, only for luncheons, on a highly polished table when plate and tumbler doilies are used promiscuously.
While cruets are generally provided for serving vinegar, there are numerous sauces and wines which are necessarily placed on the table in their original bottles.
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ETIQUETTE NOTES
MISCELLANEOUS.
MENU.
Names of Different Courses.
Wines.
French.
English.
Correct Serving.
Glasses Used.
Huitres.
Oysters
Sauternes
Light Green
Potages .
Soups
Sherry
Stemglass, white
Hors-d'œuvres
Dainty Dishes
Rhine Wine
Red
Poisson
Fish
Rhine Wine.
Releves
Removes
Clarets
Pure White
Entrees
Made dishes
Champagne
Pure White
Entremets
Vegetables
Madeira.
Pure White
Sorbet
Punch
Roti
Roast
Champagne
White
Gibier
Game
Burgundy
White
Froid
Cold Dishes
Sucres
Sweets.
Port Wine.
White
Fruits et Dessert ..
Fruits and Dessert
Fromage.
Cheese
Cognac et liqueurs Small White
Cafe.
Coffee.
TEMPERATURE OF WINES TO SERVE.
Sauterne and Rhine Wines slightly cold; 50 to 55 de- grees Fahr.
Clarets, even temperature.
Burgundy, slightly warm.
Champagne, very cold or frozen.
Sherry, slightly cold.
Madeira and Port, even temperature.
SERVING SAME.
Sauterne, Rhine Wine and Champagne, in native bottle. Sherry, Claret, Madeira and Port in decanters. Burgundy, native bottle put in wicker basket. Sparkling Wines, native bottle.
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TOLEDO BLUE BOOK
Champagne and all white wines should be served cold, but the temperature should be lowered in bottle, not in the glass. To cool Champagne properly, lay the bottle down in a basin, break up a handful of ice, put it on the bottle, sprinkle it with a little salt, and cover with a wet piece of flannel, two hours before using.
Sauterne and Rhine Wines should be moderately cool.
Claret and Burgundy should be drunk milk-warm.
Porter and Sherry should never be chilled.
Guests should be served first if they are ladies; if not, the ladies of the house should first be helped, then the visit- ing gentlemen.
The lady guest of honor sits at the right of the host, and the gentleman at the right of the hostess.
Unmarried women and widows have practically no crest. A wife uses that of her husband if she uses any.
The laws of etiquette do not permit us to use numerals, as 3, 4, 5, but demand that we write out three, four, five. The date should follow the signing of the name, at the lower left-hand corner of the letter. The year and day of the month should be expressed in words.
WEDDING ANNIVERSARIES.
First
Paper
Fifteenth Crystal
Second
Cotton
Twentieth China
Third
Leather
Twenty-fifth Silver
Fifth Wooden
Thirtieth Pearl
Seventh
Woolen
Fortieth Ruby
Tenth
Tin
Fiftieth Golden
Twelfth
Silk
Seventy-fifth Diamond
279
ETIQUETTE NOTES
THE LANGUAGE OF SEALING WAX.
White
Weddings
Red
Business
Gray
Friends
Blue
Constancy
Ruby
Lovers
Green
Hope
Pale Green
Reproaches
Black Mourning
Yellow
Jealousy
Chocolate
Luncheons
Violet
Sympathy
BIRTHDAY STONES FOR THE MONTH.
January
Garnet
July
Ruby
February
Amethyst
August
Moonstone
March
Bloodstone
September
Sapphire
April
Diamond
October
Opal
May
Emerald
November
Topaz
June
Pearl
December
Turquoise
Never cut off the end of a stem with scissors; always use a sharp knife, as the object is to keep the pores of the · stems open. A piece of charcoal or a pinch of borax will help keep the blossoms fresh for many days.
Every invitation should be answered, and then there can be no misunderstanding.
Gifts sent to the bride, such as linen, silver, etc., if in- scribed at all are marked with her maiden name, those for the groom with his cipher or initial.
It has long been the correct thing for a little wine to be poured into the host's glass first, and replenished after his guests are served, and it is considered the correct thing now for the hostess to be served first, that by her example her guests may know which fork or spoon is intended for each dish.
To quietly sip soup from the side of your spoon is the rule of the best society.
Pears and apples should be peeled with a silver knife, cut into quarters, and then picked up with the fingers. Oranges
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TOLEDO BLUE BOOK
should be eaten with a spoon. Grapes should be eaten from behind the half-closed hand, the stones and skin falling into the fingers unobserved, and thence to the plate. The pineapple, when served in slices, is almost the only fruit which requires both knife and fork. A large lettuce leaf cannot be easily managed without a knife, of course the fork must be used to carry it to the mouth. Thus, as bread, butter and soft cheese are served with the salad, the salad knife and fork are really essential.
Now as to the spoon; it is to be used for soup, for straw- berries and cream, for all stewed fruit and preserves, and for melons. Peaches and cream, all the "wet dishes," as Mr. Glasse was wont to call them, must be eaten with a spoon. Roman punch is always eaten with a spoon. Never sip coffee or tea with a spoon ; after stirring your coffee or tea, put your spoon either in your saucer or on your plate and let it remain there. Fish should be eaten with a silver knife and fork, for it is full of bones and difficult to manage without the aid of a knife. For sweetbreads, cutlets, roast beef, etc., the knife is also necessary; but for the croquettes, rissoles, bouchées à la reine, timbales, and dishes of that class, the fork alone is needed.
Cheese may be eaten with a fork, unless it is soft and spread on the bread.
There are no bread-and-butter plates for a dinner, only for a luncheon, because butter is not eaten at dinner.
Never eat peas with a spoon.
Never use the word "barn" for a stable, nor "span" for a pair of horses, nor "depot" for a railroad station.
There is really no difference either in a lady's or gentle- man's dress at a ball or " formal dinner."
To laundry a doily, lay it on the ironing-board wrong side up. Pull the edges straight and brush the fringe with a soft whisk-broom. Iron until half dry; fold lengthwise with the edges even, and iron again. Fold crosswise with
281
ETIQUETTE NOTES
the edges even, and iron once more. The doily should now be square. Fold the solid corner to the opposite (fringed), corner, and iron on both sides. In this last folding bring the solid corner only to the edge of the fringe.
Always iron linen with the weave of the goods. Plate doilies should not be folded.
The presence of the President at weddings makes it incumbent to make several minor departures from the usual program at wedding festivities. It is the prerogative of the President to be the first to congratulate the bride, and at the wedding breakfast the Chief Executive is not only entitled to a place at the bride's table, but is served before any of the others at the table, including the ladies.
The relative merits of the various months with regard to matrimony are set forth in the old rhyme, which runs:
Marry when the year is new, Always loving, kind and true. When February birds do mate, You may wed, nor dread your fate. If you wed when March winds blow, Joy and sorrow both you'll know.
Marry in April when you can, Joy for maiden and for man. Marry in the month of May, You will surely rue the day.
Marry when June roses blow, Over land and sea you'll go.
- They who in July do wed, Must labor always for their bread.
Whoever wed in August be, Many a change are sure to see.
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TOLEDO BLUE BOOK
Marry in September's shine, Your living will be rich and fine. If in October you do marry, Love will come but riches tarry. If you wed in bleak November, Only joy will come, remember.
When December's snows fall fast, Marry, and true love will last.
Of the days of the week, the old rhyme runs : Monday for wealth, Tuesday for health, Wednesday the best day of all, Thursday for crosses, Friday for losses, Saturday no luck at all.
" Something old and something new, something bor- rowed and something blue" is invariably regarded by brides. According to an old rhyme :
Married in white, you have chosen all right.
Married in gray, you will go far away.
Married in black, you will wish yourself back. Married in red, you had better be dead. Married in green, ashamed to be seen. Married in blue, you'll always be true. Married in pearl, you'll live in a whirl. Married in yellow, ashamed of the fellow. Married in brown, you'll live out of town. Married in pink, your spirits will sink.
"Happy is the bride that the sun shines on."
283
ETIQUETTE NOTES
SOCIAL OFFICIAL ETIQUETTE.
To the President of the United States of America is accorded the first place in both the official and social scale. He receives all calls without being expected to return any, and is addressed as " Mr. President " or "Your Excellency."
At public levees all persons who desire may attend. Upon entering you give your name to an usher, are an- nounced and are thereupon introduced to the President, and immediately afterward are presented to the members of the Presidential family. Your card is left before departure from the Executive Mansion.
If the reception is in the morning the usual costume for morning receptions applies. If in the evening a full toilette is demanded.
If the President have a wife, she also receives the first visit, nor is she expected to return any.
It is not permissible to decline an invitation of a social nature sent by the President, unless in case of your own illness, or that of any member of your family, or of the death of a relative. Always explain in your note the reasons which compel a non-acceptance.
The second place in official and social precedence is claimed for both the Chief Justice and the Vice-President. It always has been and still remains a matter for discus- sion. It would seem, however, that, inasmuch as the Chief Justice is the representative head of the judicial branch of the government, and presides over the tribunal of ultimate appeal, also holding his office for life and thus being placed beyond all the mutations incident to other officials, his place should be above that of the Vice-President, whose political importance is rather anticipatory than actual, and whose chief dignity arises as President of the United States Senate.
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TOLEDO BLUE BOOK
The fourth personage in rank is the Speaker of the House. The power of the House of Representatives of the United States of America can scarcely be estimated. It constitutes in fact as in name the representative body of the supreme will of the people. Therefore the Presiding Officer chosen by the House represents a political influence of the first magnitude.
All the foregoing receive the first visit from all others.
Regarding the General of the Army and the Admiral of the Navy there seem to be conflicting opinions. We believe, however, that inasmuch as these officers were created in recognition of special service rendered during our Civil War, they should occupy special places in direct line with the before mentioned four classes of officials.
Among the officers of the Army and Navy there exists a corresponding or relative rank-the General and the Ad- miral, the Lieutenant-General and the Vice-Admiral, the Major-General and the Rear-Admiral, the Brigadier-General and the Commodore, the Colonel of the Army and the Cap- tain of the Navy, etc.
When the Cabinet comes to our attention we may well pause, as the differences of opinion are many. Relatively to each other the order observed is that priority in which the offices were created-thus : the State, the Treasury, the War, the Department of Justice, the General Post Office, the Navy, the Interior, the Department of Agriculture and the Department of Commerce.
It would seem that a Cabinet officer takes precedence over a Senator, and our reason for this conclusion is found in a statute approved January 19th, 1886, regulating the presidential succession. It reads :
"In case of removal, death, resignation or inability of both the President and Vice-President, a member of the Cabinet shall, in the following order, act as President until the disability is removed or a President elected : The Secre-
285
ETIQUETTE NOTES
tary of State, Secretary of Treasury, Secretary of War, Attorney-General, Postmaster-General, Secretary of the Navy, Secretary of the Interior. Provided, That when- ever the powers and duties of the office of President of the United States shall devolve upon any of the persons named herein, if Congress be not then in session, or if it would not meet in accordance with law within twenty days thereafter, it shall be the duty of the person upon whom said powers and duties shall devolve to issue a proclamation convening Congress in extraordinary session, giving twenty days' notice of the time of meeting."
It will be seen that Cabinet officers not only represent a department of the Government, but through this statute are vested with anticipatory political significance. And even though the President's Cabinet is confirmed by the Senate it should be proper for Cabinet officers or their wives to re- ceive first calls from the wives of Senators.
With reference to the diplomatic body who represent other countries near our own, the Ambassador is given precedence over all functionaries, however exalted, except the President, the Chief Justice, the Vice-President, and the Speaker of the House. These officials typify the execu- tive, the judicial and legislative departments : This is the nation and, of course, represents collectively what a crowned head would be in a monarchy.
The Associate Justices of the Supreme Court, the mem- bers of the Cabinet, and the Senators are each and all entitled to their respective places of relative precedence as regards the rest of the Diplomatic Corps at Washington. Among Ambassadors themselves, relatively to each other, priority gives precedence, regardless of the titles possessed by the individual.
The President may be addressed in writing as " His Excellency, the President of the United States," or as " The President of the United States." The various members of
286
TOLEDO BLUE BOOK
the Cabinet as "The Honorable, the Secretary of the State"; "The Honorable, the Secretary of the Treasury," and so on.
The Vice-President is addressed in conversation as "Mr. Vice-President," the Chief Justice as "Mr. Chief Justice," the Associate Justice as "Mr. Justice," and the Speaker of the House as "Mr. Speaker."
Washington being the seat of our official society it is ab- solutely necessary that very strict and set rules govern the sending and receiving of invitations, especially dinner in- vitations.
An invitation to dine must be precise and the answer must also be precise, whether an acceptance or declination be given. The answer should also be sent immediately upon receipt of the invitation. One should not answer "Yes" or " No," but repeat the day, the date and the hour, so there cannot possibly be a misunderstanding.
The length of time preceding the dinner invitation marks the degree of formality which it is expected will characterize the arrangements. An invitation sent three weeks in advance informs us of a state dinner. Ten days of notification is the usual time, after that four or five days as simply inviting to a special dinner, or even three days if "en petit comité."
Dinner rules do not allow over fifteen or at the most twenty minutes of delay in order to await the arrival of any guest, no matter what his position relative to the State may be. Courtesy to those already present requires that the dinner be served before it spoils.
Ladies attend formal dinners in full dress and gentle- men also, the latter wearing gloves of lavender or any delicate tint. The gloves should be taken off at the mo- ment one is seated, and it is not necessary to replace them after the meal.
The host informs each gentleman which lady he is ex-
287
ETIQUETTE NOTES
pected to take in, and introduces them if they happen not to be acquainted.
Dinner announced the host offers his left arm to the lady of the highest official position present, and the hostess en- ters the dining-room last, led by the gentleman of the highest official position present. On leaving the table this order is reversed, the hostess leading the way.
The host and hostess take the central seats opposite to each other, supported on each side by their most distin- guished guests. The ends of the table should always be left open or unoccupied.
Courtesy requires that the guests, upon being assigned to their places, remain standing until the hostess is seated, then all the ladies are seated and finally the gentlemen.
The dinner over, the hostess rises first and all proceed to the drawing-room, where coffee, cordials, and in an hour tea, are served. The hostess often serves the tea herself, al- though this is not de rigueur. One is at liberty to leave after the coffee, but guests often linger to sip their tea. Succeeding the dinner a visit must be made within a week. Place cards are very much in vogue, and individual hand- painted menus for the information of the epicure are meet- ing with much favor. C. B. M.
We sell the Best Hard and Soft Coal in the City W. A. GOSLINE & CO., 522 MADISON AVE. 288 TOLEDO BLUE BOOK
THE BUCKEYE PAINT & VARNISH CO.
Buckeye
LIQUID B95
PAINTS
Buckeye Paint & Varnish Co.
TOLEDOTS
PAINT ..... COLOR and VARNISH
MAKERS
RUSSIAN SABLES AND FINE ALASKA SEALS
Buckeye
Mixed Paints White Lead Shingle Stains
Sole Manufacturers CRYSTAL ROCK FINISH For Interior and Exterior Uae
Phones 788
Office and Factory : 15th and Lucas Streets
Obrikat FURRIER
713 Madison Ave, Toledo, O,
-
HOME PHONE 1215
The Home Safe Deposit and Trust Company
I
N
R S
HEADQUARTERS FOR
STANDARD
OIWL
STOLBERG & PARKS
Corner Summit and Adams Sts. TOLEDO, OHIO
Pretty Furniture makes desirable Wedding or Birthday Presents
CLUBS AND SOCIETIES 289
CLUBS AND SOCIETIES.
THE TOLEDO SOROSIS.
Meet every first and third Friday of the month. An- nual meeting, first Friday in October.
OFFICERS. Mrs. F. R. Persons, President. Mrs. J. M. Ormond, First Vice President. Mrs. H. M. Barlow, Second Vice President. Mrs. Frederick Adams, Recording Secretary. Miss Viola Roth, Corresponding Secretary.
Mrs. C. P. Merriam, Treasurer. Mrs. N. B. Eddy, Club Hostess.
cans. Used by the best homes in Toledo,
EXECUTIVE BOARD.
Mrs. G. A. Collamore, Mrs. Henry Streetman,
Mrs. L. G. Powell, Mrs. Charles Chittenden, Mrs. Hiram Simon.
ACTIVE MEMBERS.
A
Mrs. Frederick H. Adams,
2230 Maplewood-av.
Mrs. W. W. Ainsworth, 534 W. Woodruff-av.
Mrs. J. A. Barber,
2024 Parkwood-av.
Mrs. H. M. Barlow,
1606 Madison-av. .
Mrs. Albro Blodgett,
1616 Jefferson-av.
Miss Emily S. Bouton,
2139 Glenwood-av. The Belvedere.
The
Dr. Woods-Bowman, Miss Gertrude Clark, Mrs. L. E. Clark,
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