USA > Ohio > Hamilton County > Cincinnati > The old court house : reminiscences and anecdotes of the courts and bar of Cincinnati > Part 23
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envious and jealous of his political success in the day time, and growing enraged and quite mad over it, firmly determined and resolved that he should be most signally defeated in his dramatic ambition at night. So they all resolved to be present together in one box at the National Theatre, and hoot and hiss him and his play, off the stage, and out of the theatre. The night came on, and the suc- cessful young politician and yet untried dramatist was gratified to see the auditorium of the theatre crowded with most respectable and intellectual people. But he hap- pened to cast his eye over to a box near the stage and there he saw all of his day's political rivals sitting clubbed together, and ready to club him, although he perceived them not armed with clubs. What were they there for? "To be, or not to be" was a grave question with him now, as it was with Hamlet, and what were these rival candidates doing there in that box? Did they mean to damn his play, and thus undo him? For then he thought like Iago, "This is the night that makes me, or foredoes me quite." What-what were they all there for? It must be to hiss! It could not be else. They had been defeated at Carthage and now they were turned into liv- ing Gr-geese. It must be so. But, "the play's the thing," thought the young dramatist, and may be it will catch their "consciences," as well as that of "the king."
The curtain was rung up and the comedy commenced, and the author watched his democratic rivals in the box. They were silent, though the rest of the audience wildly applauded the situations and incidents and characters of the comedy on the stage. The play progressed, and the young, anxious author still watched the rivals in the box. Directly, one of them began to laugh, and then another, and then another, and finally they all broke out into a
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large and loud guffaw, which they could not help, because of the funny scene occurring on the stage. And then the scene closed, and the audience broke out into the very loudest applause, and so did the rivals in the box, and so they continued with the audience until the end of the play, and then the applause became rapturously universal and all joined, the rivals in the box and all, in calling for the author of the comedy. Finally, the author, in propria persona, made his appearance upon the stage before the curtain and behind the footlights, and turning his wistful and wishful eyes towards his rivals in the box, he found them sweet-tempered and kindly, and ready to approve and applaud what he said; and he made his speech, and he and his comedy were declared a dramatic success by all the audience, including the forgiving and forgetful, and mindful and attentive rivals in the box. After the play, the first persons to take him by the hand and greet him were the rivals, not now in the box, but out of it to give him their congratulations ; and thus, in the success of the youthful dramatist that night, at the theatre, were, at once and forever, buried all the political animosities of the political day, and every one of those rivals who were in the box made speeches and canvassed the county for the candidate and dramatist, and made him a successful candidate for the office of prosecuting attor- ney of Hamilton county.
HABEAS-CORPUS FOR A DOG !
We have had occasion more than once to refer to the ass-ociate judges of the old Common Pleas, and their singularities and peculiarities as judges upon the bench. It will be well remembered that we have often said, that they were not distinguished for great learning, or legal
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lore. Well, as once before we have said, these some- . times stocks on the bench, were great on the great writ of Habeas-Corpus. We shall now tell a true story when and where one of the old fellows was decidedly great, particular and peculiar upon this celebrated writ of right, this palladium, this sine qua non of liberty and freedom, the habeas-corpus. Old Ephriam B-n, an old farmer, was one of the associate judges of the Common Pleas of the old court house, in the year 1845, and one day, lawyer Cunningham, already known to our attentive readers, applied to the aforesaid judge for a writ of habcas corpus for the liberation of a big "yaller dog" from the durance vile of a claiming owner, who was a Dutchman of the broad and gross kind. The ignorant and cunning shyster duly and tolerably legally, made out his application for the writ of habeas corpus, giving in his petition, the name "Watcher" of the dog, and declaring that the " aforesaid dog Watcher was restrained of his liberty, by one Hans Gotfried, then and there being to-wit, in the county of Hamilton aforesaid," and asking for an immediate issue of the constitutional writ of habcas corpus for the liberation of the dog, and he made his way to the court house, and caught Judge B-n in the old court room, and handing him the petition, began :
"May it please your honor, here is an application for a writ of habcas corpus, which, by the Constitution of the United States and of the State of Ohio, no judge can refuse to grant when applied for. Here is my petition, may it please your Honor." And Cunningham handed Judge B-n his petition, and the old judge took it and read it and examined it and ejaculated :
"Why, Mr. Cunningham, this petition is for a dog." Lawyer-"No matter for that, may it please your
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Honor. The writ of habeas corpus, by the constitution and the law,-the great writ of right, the magna charta, the declaration of independence of our liberties, -is of universal application-to man, and beast as well."
fudge-" Is that the law?"
Lawyer-" It is, most undoubtedly. I can produce lots, myriads of precedents in the books for it. It is the law."
Fudge-"Well, if you know what the law is, I will grant the writ, for a dog, if he behaves himself, is as good as an uncertain white man, any day."
And the old judge took up his pen, having adjusted his spectacles on nose, and dipped it in the black ink, and wrote on the back of the petition :
"Let the writ of habeas corpus issue for Wachter, returnable forthwith.
"EPHRAIM B- N, Ass. fudge."
Lawyer Cunningham hurried to one of the deputy sheriffs with the writ, took him along with him to the dog Wachter and the broad and gross Dutchman, and the deputy sheriff arrested and brought them up, together, forthwith, to the court house and the court room, before Judge B-n, patiently awaiting results.
Sheriff-" I have produced the body of the dog Wachter and the body of the Dutchman, Hans Gotfried, into court."
fudge-" It is well. And now proceed with the cause."
Lawyer-"This Dutchman took this dog away from my client, without warrant or authority."
Hedge-" Is that so, Hans Gotfried? "
Hans-" Dat ish not so. Mein Gott! De man vat pes owner of de tog, owes me nine tollers, und I dakes de tog for it. Dat is so !"
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Fudge-"So this is the way, Hans Gotfried, you take the law into your own hands, is it? We will teach you better business. Mr. Sheriff, deliver up the dog immediately to Lawyer Cunningham and his client ; and you, Hans Gotfried, be off at once, for, if you stay here another minute, I will put you in jail for contempt of court. This court is now adjourned."
And so the comedy ended. The sheriff delivered up the dog Wachter to Cunningham and his client, who gladly took him, and the Dutchman escaped from the precincts of the court ; and the old judge, of wisdom, and justice and law, rested upon the bench, with his arms a-kimbo, looking through his spectacles, and-thrilling tableau! slow curtain, and end of play !
LAWYER COVERDALE AND THE LATIN DIFFICULTY.
There was a lawyer in old times named Coverdale, who had knowledge of law and things, but somehow or other was given to low tastes, and low company. As we have said of another old lawyer in these pages, he much resembled " mine ancient Pistol," and was closer in the resemblance than the old lawyer Gaines, because he was young and flourishing. He was not learned especially in the law or anything else, and as for the Latin phrases of the law, and Latin words and phrases generally, he had almost a supreme contempt. One day in court, he was engaged in quite an important and somewhat tangled law case, and his learned opponent happened to be a very distinguished lawyer, and it was hard, very hard for Coverdale to keep up with his adversary's Latin law phrases and Latin citations. At an opportunity, the eminent lawyer in addressing the court to the legal points of the case, exclaimed by way of emphasis and confident
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assurance : " May it please your honors, in this matter there is so much authority, that I speak ex cathedra!" and sat down.
Now, this "ex cathedra" business bothered the Pistol lawyer, but from the sound of the phrase, he ventured on an appreciation of it, and he triumphantly ejaculated : "May it please the court, my distinguished opponent says he speaks ' ex cathedra.' I am not at all astonished, for I saw him in the Cathedral the other day, and I know that Archbishop Purcell is a very great friend of his. But I want him to distinctly understand that no Catholic Cathedrals will vail, or avail him in this case.'
THE OLD JANITOR AND HIS AMBITION TO BE AN "ASS-" JUDGE.
Among the singularities and curiosities of the old court house was the old fossil janitor. He was a Dutch- man, and how he got to be janitor of the old court room, I suppose, was owing to his extensive acquaintance with the families of citizens, for he had been a milkman, and used to have his dairy on the front side of Mount Ida, now called Mount Adams, which was then thickly covered with a forest of the finest trees, except the grounds of the old milkman. His name was plain, John Fauber, and he used to smoke the very dirtiest and most noxious of to- bacco pipes, the fumes of which would still remain in the old court room after he had laid aside the pipe, and the court was in session, to the discomfort of sensitive smelling judges and lawyers. It was the duty of the old Dutch- man to keep the court room clean, to make and keep up the fires in the winter time, and see to proper ventilation in the summer time, and, above all, to attend to the gate of the bar, and admit within the sacred precincts no intrud-
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ers-no one at all, except judges, lawyers, and officers of court, witnesses, and those having business with the court, and to this duty he attended so diligently and strictly, sitting by the gate, that he frequently gave much offense. He was a singular and curious old Dutchman, and Dutch- men though so abundant and plenteous now, were scarce and scattered in those days. He had some Dutch humor, and even wit, and he was sometimes a source of amuse- ment and entertainment to judges and members of the bar.
He used to have a good deal to say in his Dutch way, about the associate judges of the bench, and always won- dered what they were for. He thought they were mere stocks or dummies on the bench, and of no use except, perhaps, for ornament, as the presiding judge who sat in the middle of the bench seemed to do all the business of the court. He would say, "Vat in de tuyvel pe dose fellers for, anyhow? Dey doesn't do noddings. Me, mine own self, does a great deal more vork in de court as dey does. Vat pe dey for, anyhow?" And the matter continued a wonder to the old, smoking Dutchman. There was about to be a vacancy of the seat of an associate judge upon the bench, and in those days, the legislature of the State had the election and appointment of the judges. Some funny and fun-loving members of the bar persuaded old Fauber that he could easily be appointed associate judge ; if he would get up a petition, all the members of the bar would sign it for him, and his election would be sure. Fauber did get some lawyer to write him up an orderly petition to the legislature of the State, and, for a great joke upon the associates, very many of the lawyers signed the petition at the request of the Dutch- man, and the presentation of his petition to them. Some
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other lawyer, on Fauber's request, inclosed the petition in a large envelope, and addressed it to the Speaker of the House of Representatives, and Fauber paid the postage, and sent it. It was received at Columbus and was pre- sented in the legislature, and when the time of election began to approach, it was noised and newsed about among the lawyers here, that one John Fauber was so highly recommended by the members of the bar that he would be elected associate judge of Hamilton county, and the judges, of course, heard of it, and they joined together and sent a remonstrance, and accomplished the defeat of the ambitious Dutch janitor by telling the legislature who he was, and what he was. Old Fauber was expostulated with for his overleaping ambition to adorn the bench, and he gravely and seriously and solemnly replied, "Vell, vat of it ! me pes a free citizen, and vat uf I pes a Dutchman -hasn't I de right to pe a shudge? I could make so good a shudge as dem tam fellers ! Vy, vat dey does, anyhow ? Dey only sits dere on de bench, on deir booms all day, and does noddings, and I could do noddings, neder, on my booms all day, so vell as dey." The argument was considered invincible, and it was much lamented that Fauber had not had his day-to " does noddings."
THE LAW FIRM OF RIDDLE & ROLL.
Brothers Adam Riddle, and Edward Roll, afterwards clerk of the old court, used to be partners in the law, and " Riddle & Roll, Attorneys at Law," was their white and black sign on the outer walls. Many a countryman used to read the sign and wonder. One day, a legal wit said to an admiring countryman-that's a good firm of law- yers-one riddles the clients, and the other rolls them up again. And the countryman gravely asked "if that was true?"
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LAWYERS DICK STONE AND FRANK CHAMBERS.
No lawyer was ever more fond of practical jokes than brother Richard H. Stone. He and brother Cham- bers were particular friends on a time. Dick used to wear an abundance of flowing brown hair, beard, whiskers and moustache, and for this rare wearing in early days, being a quite handsome little man, he was quite conspicuous and distinguished, and he was particularly known to, and recognized by his friend Chambers for his flowing hair, and beard, and whiskers and moustache. Though Dick's surname was Stone, he was far, very far from being one, though he sometimes cast stones at those living in glass houses. One day in full court, and bar, a small, good-looking gentleman, with short brown hair and smoothly-shaven face and chin, presented himself within the bar of the court, and was not recognized by any one as lawyer Dick Stone, and Dick now saw his opportunity. Among other lawyers, he was introduced to me, not as well known Dick Stone, but a freshly arrived brother of the distinguished Dick, who had just come to Cincinnati from Virginia, and I shook hands with him, and believed him a man, and his brother. Frank Chambers was engaged in a case at the bar, and soon there was a recess of court, and versatile Dick Stone was introduced to his friend Frank, as the newly arrived brother of his friend Dick. Frank shook his friend's brother earnestly and warmly by the hand, and after the most friendly salutations and greetings, entered into a long conversation with him. "Why, haven't you seen your brother Dick, yet, said Frank?" in sur- prise at the suggestion of Dick, that he had just come from his hotel to the court house to see his brother Dick,
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not knowing where he lived, and being an entire stranger to, and in the city. "Why, I will take you with much pleasure to your brother's home, it is not far, so come along with me!" and forthwith Frank started off with Dick, and one or two of us young lawyers and friends of Dick, went along. Arrived at Dick's home on Vine street, Frank approached the front door, and earnestly pulled the bell. Dick's wife came to the door, and said Frank, "why, Mrs. Stone, I have brought your brother-in-law along with me-from Virginia-allow me to present him here !" "Why, Mister Chambers, that is my hus- band! !! " And Dick and all of us burst out in a boister- ous laugh-all except poor Frank Chambers-who, taken all aback-looked, and looked again and again at cropped haired, closely and cleanly-shaven Dick, and at last exclaimed-" why, Dick, where in h-I have your hair and beard gone?"
After that, there was a dinner and a treat all round, and Frank Chambers paid the bills for Dick, and his brother lawyers !
LAWYERS PRUDEN AND FRANK CHAMBERS.
Frank Chambers was a Kentuckian, son of one of the celebrated governors of that State, and as such, though possessed of much peculiar chivalry, was also possessed of much awful superciliousness, and absolute arrogance, sometimes not to be endured. He was much engaged in criminal trials, and had frequent onsets and onslaughts with prosecuting attorneys. Andrew Pruden was once prosecuting attorney, and though a serious plodding one, he was a very prudent one, and he made a good record. In a certain criminal murder case, being tried before Judge Jacob Flinn, Chambers and Pruden
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were pitted against each other. I say pitted against each other, for it proved so. Chambers was very overbearing toward the prosecuting attorney, and tried to overwhelm him by his arrogance and superciliousness, but this he did not succeed in doing-not at all-for lawyer Pruden as was his wont, was wise and careful, and did not throw back, nor even resent the many even gross insults that Chambers in the course of the trial, absolutely heaped upon him. Chambers, to prepare his throat for speaking, was engaged in sucking a lemon, and tearing off some of the peal in a moment of arrogant humor, threw it over the table, into the face of brother Pruden. This was the feather that broke the camel's back. Pruden could not stand this, and then and there sprang over the long lawyer's table, and literally " pitched in" to Chambers, although he was much larger and apparently stronger than Pruden, and throwing him down upon the floor, gave him a first-rate basting, and lawyers, and even the judge of the court, and certainly all the bystanders thought and said, " served him right." After this, the case went on in better order, and this was about the last of Frank Chambers exhibition of Kentucky chivalry in Ohio. Score more than one for Pruden ! "
LAWYER FRANK CHAMBERS AND THE WONDERFUL SHOT FROM THE GUN.
We must tell about a curious and wonderful incident appertaining to a remarkable case of crime, wherein Colonel Frank Chambers was counsel and advocate for the prisoner. His client was indicted for murder in the first degree, shooting a man to death while lying asleep in the bunk of a flat boat moored to the shore of the Ohio river near the mouth of the Little Miami. Soon after the
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shooting, the prisoner was found near the locality, with a shot gun in his hands, the single barrel of which had been but recently discharged. The prisoner was arrested and the gun taken away from him, and safely deposited with the prosecuting attorney of the county, who securely kept it with the barrel discharged as it was, until the trial. At the trial, all this was proved, and a great deal more, plainly convicting Chambers' client of murder in the first degree, and consigning him to the scaffold. This dis- charged gun itself was an item of the most exceeding important testimony in the case, and was taken in hand both by Colonel Chambers and the prosecuting attorney, and variously handled, and manipulated before the court and jury. Sometimes the gun was pointed right at different members of the jury, and once even at the judge upon the bench, by the counsel for the defence, to show how utterly impracticable, if not im- possible it was, that the defendant should have used and pointed the gun at the deceased, from the pecu- liar course and direction of the wound in his body. Noon-time came, and there was a recess of court, and everybody left the court room and the court house to take their dinners. At about two o'clock, the judge of the court, was about entering the court room, when getting within the room, he heard the loud report of a discharged gun. He hurried further into the court room, and there all alone he found his little court messenger-boy, holding a gun in his hand to the floor, and pointed to the ceiling and trembling with affright, and nearly dead with alarm and trepidation. Says the boy : "Oh, judge, this gun went off in my hands, look, look ! at the bullet-hole in the ceiling," and he directed the eyes of the judge to a hole in the ceiling.
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" How was this, and how is this?" said the judge.
"I know not," replied the boy. " I just came into the court room, and seeing the gun in the corner of the clerk's desk, I took it to examine it, and while I was doing so, I placed the but of the gun on the floor, with the barrel and muzzle pointing to the ceiling, and I pulled back the hammer, and the gun went off, nearly scaring me to death."
The judge took the gun.
By this time, jurors, and lawyers, and audience assembled, and the prisoner was brought by the sheriff in- to court, and the judge took the bench, and opened court, and then, as the best thing to be done under the circum- stances, he ordered the sheriff to close and lock the court room door ; and then he called to the witness stand every person in the court room, to examine them in reference to the gun ; but not from a single soul, could the court gather any information at all. The next thing, the court ordered the prosecuting attorney to forthwith subpæna all the expert gunsmiths in the city, to find out, if possible, from their testimony, how a gun could be most readily loaded with ball and cartridge. The gunsmiths came and testified, and from them much practical information was elicited, as to the facility and readiness with which a gun could be loaded with ball and cartridge, merely dropping prepared ball and cartridge into the barrel of the gun in a single moment or instant. From the tear in the ceiling, on inspection, the gunsmiths universally testi- fied that the load of the gun must have been a patent minie ball and cartridge, and all that it was necessary to do to load a gun, was to put such a thing into the muzzle of of the gun and let it fall, put a percussion cap on the teat of the gun and cock the hammer, and the gun was fully
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prepared to shoot. The court again called witnesses from the audience to find out, if possible, who put such a ball and cartridge into the gun, and examined Colonel Frank Chambers, the counsel for the prisoner, himself, but noth- ing of any importance was elicited, every witness de- claring that he knew nothing at all about it. All testimony being painfully gone through with and exhausted, the case after arguments of counsel went to the jury, and resulted on account of the doubt raised in the minds of the jury, as to whether the gun was loaded in the hands of the prisoner at the time he was arrested, in a verdict of murder in the second degree ; and from that day to this, it has never been found out about the wonderful shot of that gun, though it was sort o'suspected by some that the chamber of the gun had been tampered with by the Chambers of the bar. That it was found recently dis- charged in the hands of the prisoner when arrested, was abundantly testified to, that it was discharged with a very loud report in the hands of the court messenger-boy, in the recess of court, during the progress of trial, was a plain matter of fact, known to the judge himself, who heard it, and almost saw it, and testified to before the jury. Who loaded that gun in the recess of court? That was, and is still the question, and it will never be certainly answered ? It is yet among the marvels of the court house, and will remain so.
THE PROSECUTING ATTORNEY AND THE TROUBLE- SOME INDICTMENT.
The prosecuting attorneys of the old court house used to have a good deal of trouble with their indictments to get them strictly legal and accurate; for well they used to know that the least inaccuracy of statement, legal or
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otherwise, would subject them to the immediate attack of a swarm of young lawyers, worse than a swarm of hor- nets, and their stings would most generally prove fatal to the case in which they were inflicted. On this account, when I became prosecuting attorney for Hamilton county, I, by a great deal of daily and nightly labor, originated and compiled a complete Form Book of the indictments for crime, as defined by the statutes in this State, and from this form book, I had blank forms of indictment printed in good style, and these were of immense use to me with the grand jury and the court, and on account of this and my diligence and industry and accuracy with my indictments, I have this, with becoming modesty enough, to boast of, that during the whole two terms that I was prosecuting attorney, I never lost one single indictment on account of any flaw discovered in it. These printed, blank forms of indictment of mine, I left to my successors in office, and I have been informed that they have been in use, more or less, ever since the days of the old court house, and most satisfactorily and successfully, I believe.
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