USA > Ohio > Hamilton County > Cincinnati > The old court house : reminiscences and anecdotes of the courts and bar of Cincinnati > Part 29
Note: The text from this book was generated using artificial intelligence so there may be some errors. The full pages can be found on Archive.org (link on the Part 1 page).
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13 | Part 14 | Part 15 | Part 16 | Part 17 | Part 18 | Part 19 | Part 20 | Part 21 | Part 22 | Part 23 | Part 24 | Part 25 | Part 26 | Part 27 | Part 28 | Part 29 | Part 30 | Part 31
422
THE OLD COURT HOUSE.
On one occasion, a man and his wife presented themselves before 'Squire Wick Roll to get a deed made out by him, and to execute it, sign, seal and acknowledge it, in his presence. The old 'Squire figured away with pen and ink-horn, and wrote out the deed, and then got the parties, man and wife, to sign, seal and acknowledge the deed; and then the 'Squire signed it himself, as justice of the peace, and delivered it to the parties, and got his dollar and a half for his magisterial services, and they went away to sell their property, and to deliver the deed to their grantee. Now, this grantee had a lawyer, and he put 'Squire Wick Roll's deed into the hands of the lawyer, and lo! and behold, when the lawyer looked at, and examined the deed, he found that the signature of "Wick Roll, justice of the peace," was made to the body of the deed, and the signatures of the grantors were attached to the acknowledgment. Of course, this was no deed at all, and all parties immediately repaired again to the 'Squire, who, when he again saw the deed, contended with the lawyer that it was all right, that "it made not a d-d bit of difference, so the names and seals of the parties were to the deed, and his own also; they might be placed anywhere, and the deed was a good one; and they all might go to the devil, anyhow if they didn't like it; he'd be d-d if they mightn't."
'SQUIRE R- AND HIS ADJOURNMENT OF COURT FOR A PURPOSE.
Another curious specimen of justice of the peace in former old times, was 'Squire R -. It was an easy matter to roil 'Squire R-, and he never tried a case before him without getting more or less riled. One day,
423
THE OLD COURT HOUSE.
in a trial before him, one of the belligerent attorneys was not at all disposed to put up with the irritability and petulousness of the overruling 'Squire. He thought that the 'Squire's petulant law rulings were sacrificing the interests of his client to the great advantage of the other side, and quite out of patience, he finally exclaimed :
"Oh, what a court !"
'Squire-" What's that you say, sir?"
Lawyer-" I say this is a hell of a court !"
'Squire-" You do, do you? Well, I'll adjourn this court for five minutes and see which is the best, the court or you."
No sooner said than done. The court was adjourned, and right at the complaining lawyer the irate Irish 'Squire went, in true Donnybrook style, having a shillelah, which he always kept by him, in his hand, and beating the lawyer most unmercifully though the lawyer defended himself and proved quite a match for the bellicose and bellyful 'Squire.
The fight through, the 'Squire proclaimed, "this court is now in session, and the parties will proceed with their case before the court." But the case, or the parties did not proceed, for the lawyer went out, got a warrant, and then and there had the doughty 'Squire arrested for assault and battery, and had his own case dismissed from his further jurisdiction !
'SQUIRE SEDAM, MONARCH OF STORRS, AND HIS DECREE OF BANISHMENT TO THE "DARK AND BLOODY GROUND."
Every one of the present day knows of, or has heard of 'Squire Sedam, of Sedamsville, of Storrs Township. It is but a few years since he "shuffled off this mortal
424
THE OLD COURT HOUSE.
coil," after attaining upwards of three-score years and ten. Well, of all justices, he, perhaps, was the most peculiar, particular, persistent, peremptory, persevering, predominant, preëminent, and personally popular. He was lord of the manor; he was monarch of all he sur- veyed. I believe he laid out and surveyed Storrs Town- ship, and he was King Henry the First, of Storrs Township, if not King Henry the Eighth, whom in many delicate respects, he resembled, however, and king of his own Star chamber, too. With all his dogmatic and arbitrary ways, and legal and other kind of ignorance, he used to do a great deal of good after his manner, and for that reason continued to hold his magisterial office, for many terms of years.
His neighborhood had been infested with chicken thieves, and many and many were the complaints of his neighbors to him. He had always had a faithful con- stable, that is always faithful to him in his office, and he sent this constable out ever and anon, to look up and catch the chicken thieves. At last the constable caught a notorious one, and brought him before the 'Squire. The 'Squire put him to trial immediately, and the evidence plainly convicted the man. "Now," said the 'Squire, "you chicken thief, I am going to banish you to Kentucky- over the river to Kentucky, and the sentence of the court is, that you be immediately banished to the State of Kentucky, and the court itself will see the sentence carried out in full." Whereupon, the 'Squire ordered the constable to bring the man along, and his own residence and office being on the bank of the Ohio river, he went down to the river, put the man into a skiff and ordered the constable to get in, and row the man over the river to the shores of Kentucky, telling the man that it would be
425
THE OLD COURT HOUSE.
certain death to him if he ever came back. The con- stable rowed him over, and that man never did come back.
THE SQUIRE AND THE LAWYER FLINN.
Whatever the judgments of the 'Squire were, he would never allow an appeal to the higher courts from his judgments. He never would furnish any lawyer a transcript of his judgment upon which to take an appeal. Upon one occasion the lawyer, big Jake Flinn, tried a case before Sedam, and Jake's client was beaten, and a judgment was rendered against him, much to the vex- ation and deep chagrin of lawyer Flinn. He immediately gave notice of an appeal, and demanded peremptorily from the 'Squire a transcript of the proceedings before him. The 'Squire refused as peremptorily, to write out, or give a transcript. A quarrel ensued, and almost a fight between the 'Squire and lawyer; and at last the dogmatic Dogberry ordered the lawyer into durance vile. And into where, think you? Why, the 'Squire had his own prison on his own premises, which he called the Bastile. He never had any use for the county jail or any other jail, but his own bastile, and into this he always cast the prisoners who were brought before him. This was at first a milk house on the side of a hill on his premises, but the idea of using it for a prison struck his illuminated mind, and he employed workmen and made it one, the opening to the damp stone walls within, being a large iron door, the key of which he kept himself, and above which he had placed two crossed daggers for a portentous sign. Into this bastile, himself and the constable, after much scuffle and labored effort, placed the redoubtable Jake Flinn, and getting him once in there, left him there, too, until Jake purged himself of his contempt of court by
426
THE OLD COURT HOUSE.
declaring to the arbitrary 'Squire that he would not de- mand a transcript, and would not take an appeal; and Jake, getting out, was as good as his word, rather than have any more fuss with his old Jackson Democratic friend, 'Squire Sedam, of Storrs ; for Jake was a candi- date before the Democratic convention for the nomination for the legislature, and he knew well that 'Squire Sedam would be the delegate from Storrs.
THE 'SQUIRE AND THE TRAMP.
Of course the neighborhood of Sedamsville in days of yore had its loafers, now called tramps. One of these who, ragged and forlorn, had been looking about for a suit of clothes for some time, one day espied his oppor- tunity, and went into the house of a good citizen of Sedamsville and stole a whole suit of clothes-coat, vest and pantaloons-and put them on, leaving his rags in their place. The tramp was seen to come from the house with his new suit, and was arrested and taken imme- diately before 'Squire Sedam. The owner of the suit of clothes appearing against the culprit he was found guilty, and the 'Squire then and there ordered the prisoner to divest himself immediately of the coat, vest and panta- loons, in the presence of the court, and restore them at once to the owner. In vain the poor devil prisoner pleaded that he had no other clothes to put on, that he would have nothing left on him but his old worn and soiled shirt, and he would make a naked appearance before the court.
"Off with your coat," said the 'Squire. And the scared man obeyed.
"Off with that vest," said the 'Squire. And the trembling prisoner obeyed.
427
THE OLD COURT HOUSE.
"Now, off with those pantaloons !" And the poor shame-faced and heart-broken vagrant at last obeyed.
"Now give all those clothes to their proper owner." And the poor devil tremblingly did so.
"Now, Mr. Constable, put that shirt-tail man into the bastile. This court is now adjourned."
The constable took the naked man, and walking him among the trees and shrubs, at last, reached the bastile and put him in, and locked him in, after swinging the big door. The owner went home with his clothes, fully satis- fied with the justice done by 'Squire Sedam.
The 'Squire was not satisfied, however. In his own individual person he came up to the city, and went to a clothing store, and purchasing a common suit of clothes, he returned to his home and office, and taking the key and going out to the bastile, he unlocked the door, went in and gave the new suit of clothes to the poor naked tramp and ordered him to put them on immediately, which being done, he ordered the tramp out of the bastile and out of the township of Storrs, and the tramp obeyed.
THE 'SQUIRE AND THE SET-OFF.
On one memorable occasion there was a trial before 'Squire Sedam, in which the plaintiff claimed judgment against the defendant for one hundred and twenty-two dollars, for goods sold and delivered. The goods were groceries, furnished by the plaintiff from time to time to the defendant, and upon which it was in proof that the defendant lived, from time to time at his humble home in Sedamsville. The evidence was plain and conclusive against the defendant for the one hundred and twenty-two dollars ; but he said to the court that he had a defence, and he could prove it.
" What is your defence?" demanded the court.
.
428
THE OLD COURT HOUSE.
Defendant-" Why, this man, the plaintiff there, has been for a long time courting my wife."
Court-" What ! what is this?"
Defendant-" Why, he has been having to do with her, for a long time.
Court-" Where is your proof ?"
Defendant-" I can swear to it myself."
Court-"Swear then. Lift up your right hand."
And the oath was duly administered, and the de- fendant swore to the facts of the crim. con., directly and positively, so as to convince the court.
Court-" In this case we will have to give judgment for his costs, to the defendant. We allow his defence, as a complete set-off, in the language of the law, and order the plaintiff to pay the costs. Judgment will be entered on the defendant's set-off, for the defendant, and it was done sure enough! The set off was set down in the record, and judgment for the defendant, and costs, and execution was awarded therefor !
THE 'SQUIRE'S COURT ROOM, AND THE BIG BOMBSHELL.
Right near his mansion house, old 'Squire Sedam had an especial building erected for the purposes of his court, and he called it, by a big sign painted over its door, the "STORE'S TOWNSHIP COURT HOUSE." Why "Storrs" was spelled "Store's," was among the things that have not transpired, though the 'Squire, if he was to blame, was not very learned, or skilled in orthography at all. "Storrs" is however, pronounced Stores. The lower room of this two story structure was the court room, and was adorned with a bench and a bar, separated from the auditorium by a balustrade. The walls of the court room were hung with daggers, bowie-
429
THE OLD COURT HOUSE.
knives, butcher-knives, guns and pistols, and various other stolen articles, trophies of justice which the old 'Squire had taken from miscreants who had been brought and tried before him, and these he considered as deo- dands to him, the veritable king of Storrs Township. Among other singular and peculiar things in his court room was a large bombshell, which had been brought or stolen from some battle-field, and had been presented to the 'Squire. It laid on the floor near the judge's bench, and when in long days agone, I, as a lawyer, asked the 'Squire "what that bombshell was for, lying in the court room?" he replied :-
"Oh, I keep it there, for my juries."
" How is that?" I ventured to ask.
"Well, you see," says he, "I always want my juries to agree, and bring in a verdict quickly ; so when a case is submitted to them, I close my charge, by telling them -and I mean it-that now the court will leave them to consult together, shut up in the court room, and then I point out that bombshell to them, and tell them that there is a fuse to it going through outside, and if they do not agree on a verdict at the end of five minutes, I will fire the fuse, and blow them sky-high; and of course all the juries in my court, always agree in five minutes; and I have no trouble with my juries at all." I thought, he had not.
SQUIRE SEDAM BECOMES PROVOST MARSHAL, AND SCARES THE CINCINNATIANS .- THE RAMROD SHOT THROUGH A STEAMBOAT.
During the great Rebellion, and when the city of Cincinnati was greatly threatened by the rebels and an attack from them was daily and nightly expected, it was thought a right good thing by the commanding general,
430
THE OLD COURT HOUSE.
Lew Wallace, at the suggestion of some of his aids, among whom Captain Van Loo, the photographic artist, was conspicuous at the time, to make the 'Squire, on ac- count of his great influence and power over his fellow- citizens in Storrs township, a provost marshal to control the people of the river township, and see that the rebels would not cross the river opposite Sedamsville, and sur- prise the people of Cincinnati, particularly in the night time. The General gave the 'Squire a most singular, pe- culiar and wonderfully comprehensive military commis- sion, extending his military jurisdiction from Sedamsville on the Ohio river, to the city of New Orleans on the Mis- sissippi. Armed with this precious document, the Squire- provost immediately proceeded to business, and stationed his park of artillery consisting of three mounted cannon, all six-pounders, on the bluff bank of the Ohio river, in the rear of his mansion, and all pointing across the river to Kentucky, fully prepared to defend against any, and all rebel trespassers from the Kentucky side. Having placed his park of artillery, he gave the immediate com- mand of them to his confidential constable of his justice's court, John-the Dutchman, whom he had, for more than a quarter of a century, retained in his civil service, and now placed him in confidential position, under his military care, really, as his confidential lieutenant.
One unfortunate night, the provost marshal and his Dutch lieutenant, celebrating their military honors, thought they might have a good time in the absence of the rebels, or any sight of them, from over the river, and they both together imbibed so freely, that at last they got on a reg- ular spree. In this condition they took it into their heads that they might amuse themselves, and startle the State of Kentucky, by firing off the park of artillery, at mid-
431
THE OLD COURT HOUSE.
night, with blank cartridges. So, at it, they went, and alarmed and terrified all the good people of both sides of the river, who could not tell for the life of them, what the repeated firing off of artillery on the banks of the river at Sedamsville, at that time of night, meant. But this was not all. The next morning the whole city of Cincinnati was in terrible excitement and affright, at the fearful tidings that the rebels had crossed over from Kentucky in the night, and had taken possession of 'Squire Sedam's cele- brated park of artillery, and were engaged all night in firing at the steamboats passing up and down the river. And the fact was, that the Steamer Ben Franklin, coming up from Louisville, and then lying at the wharf, had been shot through, and a large hole had been made clean and clear through her upper cabin, which was plainly visible to all citizens who went to see. General Lew Wallace at once ordered the dreadful matter to be inquired into, and investigated, and sent down a guard and military posse to Sedamsville, to the headquarters of the provost marshal, direct. They found the provost Quixote and his Sancho at their post, but both so inebriated as to hardly tell anything they knew, or that had occurred. They visited the park of artillery on the banks of the Ohio, and there, sure enough, the debris of ammunition around, and the powdered condition of the cannon, were proofs strong that there had been firing-off, during the night ; besides, the neighbors told them of the repeated loud cracks of artillery. But what was singular, among all their findings they could find no ramrod, by which the guns must have been loaded or rammed down, if there had been any firing. The provost and his lieu- tenant, when questioned, knew nothing about the ramrod, and they now insisted that they had been firing off noth-
432
THE OLD COURT HOUSE
ing but blank cartridges, for fun. Where was the ram- rod? That was the important question. They could give no information at all about it, and it could not be found anywhere, and there was terrible mystery about the ramrod. At last, a puffing and blowing butternut- trousered Kentuckian was seen to be coming up the bluff bank of the river, with a club or something over his shoulder, having left his skiff moored to the adjoining beach, and he told the enquirers, exhibiting what he had on his shoulder, that he had heard firing of cannon last night from this side of the river, and in the early morn- ing, when he was about to cross the river to see what it was all about, he had picked up this ramrod on the Ken- tucky shore. The evidence was now plain, the mystery was solved. The 'Squire and his henchman had fired off one of the guns with the ramrod sticking in it, and the explosion had driven the ramrod through the cabin of the Ben Franklin, as she was coming along the river, puffing in peace and quietness.
'SQUIRE SEDAM SPIKES HIS GUNS.
'Squire Sedam kept his park of artillery of three six-pounders, on his place at Sedamsville, long after the finishing of the Rebellion-and he used to fire them off with blank cartridges on great occasions. At the time of the National Democratic Convention in the city of New York, in 1868, the 'Squire was confidently expect- ing the .nomination of his favorite friend, George H. Pendleton for the Presidency of the United States, and so sure was he of his celebrated friend's nomination, that he had planted and loaded his park of artillery to their muzzles, for the due and proper celebration of the event when the glad tidings might come. The old 'Squire
433
THE OLD COURT HOUSE.
waited, and waited, and waited, and at last a fellow-citi- zen brought the bad news to him, that his friend Pendle- ton was defeated, and Horatio Seymour was nominated. "Say-more ?" interrogated the 'Squire.
" Yes, Seymour ;" was the reply.
"D-d if I see more, ejaculated the 'Squire, and will not say more. "Here John," calling his Dutch con- stable and lieutenant. " Here John, go at once and spike those d-d guns, and never let me hear or see more of them." So Dutch John went, and getting proper material, really did spike every one of the famous park of artillery, and they have remained spiked ever since, and will, perhaps, until Pendleton is nominated for Presi- dent.
PROVOST MARSHAL SEDAM, AND HIS FAMOUS COMPANY.
"If I be not ashamed of my soldiers, I am a soused garnet." -Shakespeare.
General Lew Wallace, of Indiana, being in com- mand here at Cincinnati, and the rebels near and threatening, on the borders of Kentucky, it was necessary to draft, and have as many soldiers about here as possi- ble. Accordingly 'Squire Provost-Marshal Sedam was ordered to draft, and bring up a company from Sedams- ville and vicinity, to the city. No sooner commanded than he went about obeying, and in a few days, the Provost Marshal and his most extraordinary company of " good householders," and contracted bachelors," and " such a commodity of warm slaves, as had as lief hear the devil as a drum," presented themselves in the street before the door of head-quarters, all drilled and prepared for military duty, that is to say, as much as could be under the pressing circumstances. They were all uniformed
434
THE OLD COURT HOUSE.
in the old Continental uniform, and Captain Sedam him- self was particularly distinguished for his cockade three- cornered chapeau, his blue shad-bellied coat, with many brass buttons, and buff lining and trimmings, and his wondrous high-top boots, and old spurs attached to the heels, sticking out a foot quite in length, though he was of the infantry, which made him look like a doughty cavalry hero of very many wars. The General surveyed the Captain and the company, in mute astonishment and genuine surprise, and the Captain made a speech to him, and, among other things, declared : "Here, may it please your Excellency, are my soldiers, which I deliver to your honor-married Dutchmen, every d-d one of them-and dressed up in Continental toggery. I chose Dutchmen because these d-d furriners must fight for their adopted country. I pressed married men to make them fight for their wives and children-and I shall myself take care of the wives, they leave behind them- I'm a good hoss in that respect, and I got the Continen- tal uniform for them all, that they might be continually reminded of their forefathers of the Revolution." The company of Dutchmen was accepted, of course, though much against their will, to remind them of their fore- fathers of the Revolution!
THE AWKWARD, BUT INCISIVE TOAST, OF THE OLD SHERIFF-MAJOR, OR MAJOR-SHERIFF !!
Having told something of our justices of the peace, it may be quite proper to relate a story of an eccentric sheriff of the county in the days of yore, when he was a lusty and bustling bachelor, and not when he after- wards became a musty married man. He lived along in the first days of the old court house as a batchelor sheriff,
435
THE OLD COURT HOUSE.
and was quite proud and showy of himself and his office. He was very fond of his personal appearance, and made up sometimes quite like a peacock, and flamed up as a flamingo, for he was given to a shad-bellied broadcloth green coat, with shining brass buttons, and a large ruffled flaunting shirt bosom, with big brilliant breast-pin, and a flaming scarlet red neckerchief, and then such a broad- rimmed white Campeachy hat ; he was a very Adonis, or rather a-done-us or un-done-us, and frequently was the subject of much observation, and blank admiration. We are not in want of names, but we shall call him Sheriff- Major H -. Well, the major was very popular and very patriotic, and when any thing was to be done for a Fourth of July celebration, he always was on hand. If there was a Fourth of July dinner, sheriff-major was there, and was always called upon for a toast.
It happened that a certain Fourth of July was coming on, and there was to be a great dinner at the old McFar- land three-story tavern, in the rear of the old court house. The sheriff was, of course, going to attend the dinner, and as the time drew near, bethinking himself that he would be called upon for a toast, he set to work to have one duly prepared. He could not make up a good one himself, but he thought he knew who could. So he went to the law office on Third street of his friend lawyer Ben- ham, one day, and presenting himself, he said :
"'Squire Benham, Fourth of July is coming on, and we are going to have a dinner at the McFarland tavern, and I am going to be there, and I shall be called upon for a toast, and I have just come to get you to write me out a good one."
Lawyer B .- " All right, Major, what shall it be?" Major-" Oh, just as you think best, 'Squire ; I will
436
THE OLD COURT HOUSE.
leave it all to you, Squire-I rely upon you ; you can do just the thing."
Lawer B .- " Bachelor as you are, suppose I write you a toast for the ladies-a patriotic one on the-let me see-oh yes, the women of our country-THE WOMEN OF OUR COUNTRY."
Major-" Excellent i'faith-let it be that-let it be so-first-rate. I am in for the women."
So lawyer Benham sat down at his table, and wrote the toast as largely and plainly as he could on some blank paper, and gave it to the major, and the major took it gladly, and read aloud-partly to himself: " The Women of our Country-may they always so assist the patriots of our country, that our enemies will cry out, ' pec-pec-pec' -what is that last word, 'Squire ?- what in the devil is it?"
Lawyer B .- "That is 'peccavi,' a Latin word, and signifies I have sinned-we give up-we cry quarter ! quarter ! quarter !"
Major-"Pec-cave-y? A Latin word? Means give up-quarter ?"
Lawyer B .- " Yes ; that's it."
Major-"A d-d good toast !" and the major left the office.
Need help finding more records? Try our genealogical records directory which has more than 1 million sources to help you more easily locate the available records.