USA > Ohio > Hamilton County > Cincinnati > The old court house : reminiscences and anecdotes of the courts and bar of Cincinnati > Part 28
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had told quite a different story from what she had just told before to the grand jury, when there as a witness by herself, and got from her at last, the truth, that no rape had been committed upon her. Said the prosecuting attorney to the witness sharply : " Why, madam, do you come before this grand jury, and tell them such a horrible story as you did a while ago?"
And the witness answered : " Why, you told me in your office, that I would have to make out a stronger case, and I thought it was my duty to do so, because I am going to have a baby soon, and I want that fellow to pay for it." This was quite enough, the witness was dismissed, and now the grand jury well assured that the case was a rapee case, unanimously ignored the bill. There was perhaps a rapee, but no raper !
After this case, the prosecuting attorney was ever very careful about these rapee cases and, believing with Queen Elizabeth, of England, that rape could not be well com- mitted by one man alone, as she illustrated with sword and sheath, to Sir Walter Raleigh on an occasion, he probed every rape case that came before the grand juries from time to time, and got quite up to the snuff of rapee cases !
LAWYER STEPHEN CLARK AND THE HEADING OF THE BARREL.
Brother Stephen Clark, good, fat, lymphatic, prolix, curious old dignified fellow that he was! How he ever came to the bar, it is not in fact or in tradition, but he was admitted, and was at and in the bar of the old court house, though in its latter days. He used to give the court and bar some trouble, a good deal of trouble, by his blundering prolix and prosaic ways, and dry and dull
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means of getting at, and trying his cases before court, Who at the bar or on the bench, has not been bothered, "fooled to the top of his bent" by our old stupid and stupendous friend Stephen's impregnable and indomitable and imperturbable perseverance to have his case before the court, in his own proper, peculiar and particular both- ering and blundering way? He always was a stumbling block, to court, jury, witnesses and lawyers, and because of this perhaps, sometimes, luckily gained his causes. It , was in tradition about him, that a long time before he came to the bar, he and a companion were one day trying to adjust and fix a head into a barrel, and all their united skill could not accomplish their purpose. The head of the barrel would slip and slip, and go up or down, and would not, and could not by awkward hands and fingers, and hammer, be properly placed in the circular crevice of the hooped staves of the barrel. It was all attempt and endeavor on the part of the duet laborers, it was no use, and did not, would not come to good effect. At last, a pretty and wise conceit slowly popped into the head of Stephen, and he said to his diligent companion at the barrel :
" I will get into the barrel and hold up the head level, and you can adjust it in the crevice. No sooner said than done, and Stephen was shut up close in the barrel by his companion-he was not bottled up, but he was emphatically barrelled up."
And yet Stephen became a lawyer, and was in stature, if not in statutes, as big as a barrel and had a slipping and slippery head too !
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LAWYER FOSDICK, AND THE WAR.
The western poet, William W. Fosdick, was a lawyer, and a member of the bar of the old court house-in its latter days. Given to poets and poetry as he was, he was not very much given to the law, but he was quite capable, though he never practiced the law a great deal. He was a good-souled, jovial fellow, and full of wit and humor, and was always a good companion. He was very fond of puns from others, and of punning himself. He was a punster. and stirred up a great many puns, and often in company he became the very life of it. A coterie of lawyers were one day engaged in the old court room of the old court house discussing the Mexican war, when Fosdick was asked his opinion and expression. He readily replied, "gentlemen, I can easily express my sentiments in a single poetic line from Addison's Cato. It may be a new reading, but them's my sentiments. ' My voice is still-for war!'"
LAWYER FOSDICK, AND THE PORTRAIT.
One day Fosdick and myself being in company, sauntering along Fourth street, were stopped at Wis- well's picture frame establishment, by the artist Beard, who wanted us to drop in, and see a portrait that he had just finished, and which was in Wiswell's for the pur- pose of being framed. We went in and looked at the portrait, and Mr. Wiswell joined us. It was the portrait of Dr. Will, Hunter, the popular dentist of the city at that time. Well, said I, the portrait looks too sober for Dr. Hunter-it looks too down in the mouth. "That's it -that's just it"-exclaimed Fosdick-" that's just where Beard has shown himself the great artist, for is it not the
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daily occupation of Hunter, to look down in the mouth ?" Of course we all smiled then and there, and afterwards went out and smiled-at the expense of the artist.
LAWYER TOM CORWIN AND HIS SUGGESTIONS.
Lawyer Tom Corwin used occasionally to come down from his town of Lebanon, Warren county and practice in our old court house, and after he had given up politics in a measure, he really became a member of the Cincin- nati bar. His wit and humor, so famous a stump-speaker as he was, became national and there is hardly anybody of the old generations, who does not know something funny about Tom Corwin. He was once trying a case- in the old court house-a slander case,-and he was for the plaintiff, and he devoted a great deal of eloquence in his effective manner and method, to and about the ends and corruptions of poor, depraved human nature. At. last he said :
" Human nature does sometimes appear entirely corrupt, entirely depraved, gentlemen of the jury. It would almost seem that the orthodox doctrine of the old Covenanters, of total depravity, was a correct bill of items against humanity ; and if I had been a covenanter, and had been standing at the elbow of Jehovah at the time he made man and woman, I think I could have made some most valuable suggestions! "
TOM CORWIN AND HIS STORY OF THE EASTERN SHORE OF MARYLAND.
When Tom Corwin was in Congress from the War- ren county district, he used to be disturbed very much by hearing so much boasting and bragging from State of Maryland members, of the wonderful greatness of the-
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eastern shore of Maryland. Other members of Congress were bored as well as Corwin, by the eastern shore fel- lows continually harping upon their great eastern shore, and their great constituency-their great people ! One day an eastern shore member was speaking on some measure, and Tom declared to some of his fellow-mem- bers in his place, if that Maryland chap again said any- thing about his eastern shore, he would reply to it. This was, sub rosa, noised about among members, and those in the conspiracy waited for an eulogium upon the eastern shore. Sure enough, the orator, in due time, came to the "eastern shore," and, among other things he proclaimed :
"Look at the great State of Maryland, look at the east- ern shore of Maryland from whence I come ! Why, it is the garden spot of creation, and its people are the chosen ones of mankind. It is a great country, a blessed coun- try, a God-gifted land !" And the orator soon sat down after all that, and Tom Corwin arose in his place, with his fellow-members around him, all expectant, but not knowing what was to come. Among other things, orated eloquent Tom :
"The gentleman from Maryland speaks most elo- quently and opportunely, of his great State, and pro- nounces the eastern shore of that great State, ' the garden spot of creation, and its people a blessed people.' In reference to this, I have a fact to relate, if I can command sufficient attention." Everybody in the House was now full of attention. "Mr. Speaker, I am a lawyer, and I had a case in court one day, in my town of Lebanon, Warren county, Ohio. It was a case of much importance, and my success in it depended upon the evidence of an aged, venerable, white-headed witness, near four-score years ; and I called him to the witness stand, and he gave
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his most important testimony, and my case, I thought, was won. But the lawyer on the other side commenced to cross-examine the witness, to break him down, if pos- sible, on account of his extreme old age and necessary want of memory, and says he to the witness, 'My aged friend, how old might you be?' The old, white-headed witness looked around at the court and at the jury and at me and then, at last, at the cross-examining attorney, and he answered, 'I am just forty-two years of age, next month!' This was an astonisher, an amazer. I was amazed, and felt that my witness would certainly be completely broken down for lunacy. All in court were surprised. The cross-examiner continued, 'only forty- two years of age! why, old man, you look to be at least eighty years of age.'
" ' Well,' said the witness, ' I will tell you how that is : the first part of my life I spent on the eastern shore of the State of Maryland. I was born there,-on the eastern shore ! and I lived around, and lost there thirty- eight years, and under the good God I have always thought that in estimating and numbering my years, He would not take account of the years gone and lost, on that God-forsaken eastern shore of Maryland, and therefore, I am just forty-two years of age!'"
This was enough-quite enough-and the Maryland harp of a thousand strings never sounded more "My Maryland" or the " Eastern shore of Maryland," in the halls of Congress ! Never !
BEWARE OF PREACHERS-BAD WITNESSES IN COURT.
It is a solemn truth-regret it as we may, that preach- ers make bad-very bad witnesses in court. It would seem that in the efforts of their life, they deal with so
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much of uncontradicted fancy, instead of fact, that they cannot tell how a fact transpired when they are called upon the witness stand. I remember more than one case in the old court and court house, where preachers were called to testify, and they invariably spoiled the broth. On one occasion in a murder trial, which created in the community the most intense interest, and the greatest excitement, a certain distinguished Methodist preacher was called upon to testify for the State, and he did do so with a "whereas." He, in his testimony, as was very plainly to be seen, was for hanging the poor prisoner, and upon this point, he by no means wished to hang the jury-and, therefore, he was most absolute and positive in his declarations, and became so dogmatic, that the court upon the call of the attorney for the defence stopped the witness, and finally made him take his seat in the witness box. Now this witness colored everything he said with the fancies of his profession, and absolutely before he was done, got on to the crucifixion of Jesus Christ upon Calvary or Cavalry as he would have it-and by his testi- mony, would have crucified the poor prisoner on trial in the same way-particularly, if he had his own way. But the court stopped him, they were obliged to stop him in his piety, and pious discourses upon the depravity of mankind, and of the poor man, in the prisoner's dock, particularly. At one time he said, "the deceased trusted the defend- ant, and had all confidence in him, but the prisoner was a Judas to him, and stabbed him to the heart, and set his house on fire," and this was said as the truth and the fact by the preacher witness, and yet he did not see it, or know it. He only knew of some surrounding circum- stances, and he testified to these so lamely and unfashion- ably, that the dogs would have barked at him if they
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could have understood how he was giving in his testimony. In the same case, another preacher testified, as he happened to know some important items, and he being the preacher of my own church, I expected something better than he gave. He, too, could not testify to the plain facts which he saw before him, however, but he continually colored them with his peculiar and particular views as a preacher over a congregation-totally ignor- ing the fact, that he was not now a preacher in his pulpit, but a simple witness in the witness box, before the court. He did not get as far as the first preacher-clear upon Calvary-but he came near to it, and the court had to interfere. Avoid preachers then, as witnesses, we some- what serio-comically say to lawyers-they are not good witnesses-they are bad-very bad witnesses-almost as bad, good brethren, as doctors, and lawyers, and we all well know that they-the doctors and the lawyers, make the very worst of witnesses in any case in any court.
A UNITED STATES SUPREME JUDGE AND THE OLD COUNTY RECORDER.
We once, long, long ago, had for county recorder as a reward for peerless democratic service, old long, gaunt, unlettered, and uncultured, and unbuilded Billy Hoon, as he was called. His occupation had been that of a blacksmith, but the democrats of the county transformed him from plain sledge-hammerer to high recorder of the county-for full two terms-and he, like his great metatype, General Grant, wanted, and was very anxious for a third term, if his fellow democrats would grant it. He said to them in their convention assembled, in all seriousness and sincere soberness- " Fellow dimocrats, I appear before you to say, that I
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have sarved the dimo-cracy faithfully for two tarms, and by the blessing of the gods, I am quite willing to sarve you three tarms." The democracy did not accept his dis- interestedness. But while he was recorder of the county, he always had his wits-rough-hewn as they were- about him ! He always evinced strong horse-sense.
One day Judge McLean, then one of the judges of the Supreme Court of the United States, came into the the recorder's office, and showing the recorder a deed of his, which had been some time ago recorded, pointed out to the recorder, that the deed as recorded was defective, and the original had now been corrected and amended on its face, and he wanted the recorder to insert the cor- rection and amendment in the former record on the face of the recorded deed, so as to have the recorded deed cor- respond with the amended deed he had in his hand, and asked him to do it. Old Billy scratched his head, and reflected, and hesitated, and totally unmindful and care- less of the official dignity of the eminent and distinguished man of the United States ermine, bluntly blurted out-
" That cannot be, Mister McLean, that cannot be done. It is agin the law, it cannot be done, It's agin my office, sir !"
There happened to be standing near in the recorder's office, Alexander Todd, a young sprig of the law, and Mr. Charles Cist, an old citizen, whose attention was arrested by what was going on between the great judge, and the recorder.
Fudge McLean-" But, Mister Hoon, the thing can be done, you can make the record correspond with the correction, can't you ?"
Billy Hoon-" No, sir-ee, Mister McLean, I am an officer of the county, sworn to do my official duty, and I
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cannot alter the sworn records of the county. It would be forgery-State forgery, Mister McLean. Ask Mister Todd, the lawyer there, and Mister Cist, one of our oldest citizens, and they will tell you, it can't be done. No, sir-it can't be done, and more than that, I won't do it. You can't git me to alter the sworn records of the county. I won't do it, sir, I won't do it. No, sir-I will be d-d to h-ll if I will !"
And Judge McLean left the office !
The recorder, Billy Hoon, in his rough horse sense, was right, and the judge of the Supreme Court of the United States was wrong-entirely wrong-and recorder Hoon as against him, Supreme Judge as he was, had a right to appeal to young lawyer Todd, or old citizen Cist ! He was right. He was sacredly and profanely right ! !
ANOTHER AND PECULIAR ADJOURNMENT OF COURT
BY OLD FATHER STALEE.
In our anecdotes about the deputy sheriff Stalee, we unconsciously omitted one, which we must now add. Sometimes the old man about the adjourning time of the court would get into a facetious mood, and would not be overmindful or cautious of what he would do or say, and expostulation would do little with him. At one time the term of the court was at an end, and there was to follow a long vacation, and as the last moment came, the judge, who was rather celebrated for being fond of a good glass of Bourbon, ordered the deputy sheriff to adjourn the court without day, pronouncing the phrase ' sine die,' for the first time in the English translation.
Stalee obeyed, and with a twinkle in his eye, vocifer- ously bawled out, in doggerel, from his desk :-
This court is now adjourned without day -
Without the cat, the mice may play- All the lawyers should go and pray --
And the judge will " smile " without delay.
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" Why, Stalee," indignantly demanded the judge, "what do you mean? You're in contempt of court."
Stalee-" Oh, nothing ; I was in rhyming mood, and took advantage of the last and best opportunity, for there is no court now to take advantage of me. I'm in no contempt, for there is no court ! Let's take a drink ! "
THE ACCEPTED VERDICT OF ELEVEN JURORS. A CURIOUS AND PHENOMENAL CASE, AND WHAT CAME OF IT.
We must not forget to tell the curious story of Judge Flinn, and his unwarranted and untimely acceptance of the verdict of eleven jurors, instead of twelve, in a very important criminal case. There was a trial in his criminal court of an actor of the People's Theatre, on the southeast corner of Sixth and Vine, for malicious stabbing with intent to kill the husband of a somewhat celebrated German actress at the theatre, in a big fuss which occurred among the actors and actresses. From the conduct of the judge upon the bench throughout the trial, it seemed to be his determination, that the defend- ant should be convicted of the felonious charge in the indictment. The secret of this leaked out in the subse- quent progress of things. The wife of the prosecuting witness who was stabbed, was a very beautiful woman, and when in court giving her testimony in the case, she excited a great deal of sympathy of all concerned, and the very particular sympathy, and manifest affectionate treatment of the judge. The trial was over in court, and the jury retired to consult of their verdict, and they were out, and purposely kept out by the judge, a very long while. Having remained out all night, at the opening of court next morning, the jury were sent for, and brought into court, and asked by the judge if they had agreed
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upon their verdict. The foreman arose and said "they had, and their verdict was, that the defendant was guilty in manner and form as charged in the indictment." At this one of the jurors jumped up in his place and said quite loudly and indignantly, "that is not my verdict."
Court-" What? What's that you say, juror?
Furor-" That is not my verdict I voted not guilty, and never agreed to the other eleven."
Court-" No matter-the record will all be right, Mister Clerk, enter the verdict as the foreman of the jury has given it. We will take care of our own court, and jury and our own records."
The clerk as ordered by the court reluctantly took the verdict from the foreman, and entered it of record. The attorney for the defendant abundantly expostulated and protested, but to no effect, as the tyrannical court was determined in its tyranny. He moved for a new trial, and in arrest of judgment, but no good ; the prisoner was sentenced to five years in the penitentiary by the benumbed judge.
And now the sequel ! Of course this was a high- handed outrage upon law and justice, upon the part of the obstinate court, and it was so considered by all the bar, and all the newspapers, and all the citizens. The lawyer for the defendant was especially outraged, and indignant, and very mad. But what should he do? The record of the court appeared all right, and the court would not allow him a bill of exceptions on the facts as they occurred in court. A lucky thought struck him. The District Court of Hamilton County, then consisting of Judges John A. Corwin, Stanley Matthews, Donn Piatt and A. G. W. Carter were in session, and forthwith the lawyer applied to them for a writ of habeas corpus for his sentenced client.
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The District Court heard the application patiently, and though against law and precedent, and very extra judicial, they unanimously determined to take the bull (Jake Flinn) by the horns this time, as the only thing left, and granted the writ, and released the prisoner from the grappling clutches of the tyrant, criminal judge, and the newspapers, and all the people of Cincinnati ap- proved and applauded them for it, and though against the law, it was diamond cut diamond, and above all, it was JUSTICE !
But not so, fiery and mad Judge Flinn, he felt dis- comfitted, and damnably defeated, and he threatened loudly, to whip every one of the judges of the District Court, and would perhaps have tried to do so, had it not been for the abundant personal talk that Judges Piatt and Carter had with him. They so shamed him for his menaces and threats, telling him that if he committed any violence upon any of the judges, he himself would be taken from the bench of his own court and lodged in jail-for the District Court were so determined-that he at last wisely concluded, that he had better give it up so ! and he did ! !
" GOLDIBUS GILDIBUS."
In the year 1832, the great democrat, Robert T. Lytle, had been defeated for Congress by the Whig can- didate, Bellamy Storer, and in 1834, Lytle wanted to try the political contest again with Storer. Accordingly, Bob Lytle was renominated by the flourishing and pros- pering democrats, and Storer, afraid of the result of the contest, evidently, declined to be renominated, by the Whigs, and would, on no account, consent to be a candi-
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date for Congress, being, as he said, and gave out to his Whig brethren, quite content with one term in Congress. On the declination of Storer, the Whigs grew face- tious, and by way of derision at, and ridicule of the dem- ocrats, nominated an eccentric fellow-citizen, named George Washington Mason, and called, for short, "Wash Mason," and generally known as "Goldibus Gildibus." He got the sobriquet on account of his oppo- sition to Tom Benton, and his gold money ; and one day, in his wrath, thinking he was classical, he called Tom Benton, "Goldibus Gildibus," and the name, instead of attaching itself to "Old Bullion," emanating from so ob- scure a source, stuck to its originator, and he was ever afterwards known as "Goldibus Gildibus," and he de- lighted in the notoriety of the name.
Being now the Whig candidate against democratic Bob, he issued a public proclamation or great manifesto, to which was appended the name "Goldibus Gildibus," and actually came within a few votes, at the election, of beating the democratic war horse. Venerable citizens will never forget the contest of ' Goldibus Gildibus' versus Bob Lytle !
SOME REFLECTIONS.
We are now nearing the end and conclusion of our facetious reminiscences and anecdotes, not altogether because of the want of material, however, for there is undoubtedly some of that left, and if I should venture on the sober and serious, and sad and sorrowful scenes and incidents of the old court house, I should have a vast deal more to be recorded. But before we leave the funny side of the old court house, we must be permitted to revive the times and memories-" like flowers in water "-
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of some of those who, with no distinction as lawyers themselves, were frequently called upon in their way, to judge of the law, by the help and aid of the lawyers, and as their judgments were appealable to the old court they more or less became a necessary part of, and really belonged to the old court house. Accordingly, we ven- ture to present some few of these.
THE JUSTICES OF THE PEACE.
'SQUIRE WICK ROLL AND THE DEED !
In the days of yore, we used to have some funny Justices of the peace or small pieces of justice in this city and county. Among the funniest of the funny, was one Wick Roll, Esquire, who used to keep his office for many long days, a long, long time ago, in a little old frame shanty, at the immediate junction of Vine street and the Hamilton road. He was a Justice of the Peace for Millcreek township-our city in those days not extending so far out in its corporate limits. Wick was a peculiar and particu- lar fellow in his ways, and sometimes it would not have been at all amiss to call him Wicked Roll, for he swore on and off the bench like a trooper, and sometimes dur- ing the progress of a trial before him, you might have sworn that the whole army of Flanders were then and there about. Wick was a Dogberry, a regular Dogberry in his court, as well as a swearer.
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