USA > New York > New York City > A history of New-York : from the beginning of the world to the end of the Dutch dynasty > Part 16
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A HISTORY
as trifling with the public dignity and safety, and as lavishing the public funds on impotent enterprises. Did he resort to the economic measure of proclama- tion-he was laughed at by the Yankees ; did he back it by non-intercourse-it was evaded and coun- teracted by his own subjects. Whichever way he turned himself, he was beleaguered and distracted by petitions of " numerous and respectable meetings," consisting of some half-a-dozen brawling pot-house . politicians-all of which he read, and, what is worse, all of which he attended to. The consequence was, that by incessantly changing his measures, he gave none of them a fair trial; and by listening to the clamours of the mob, and endeavouring to do every thing, he, in sober truth, did nothing.
I would not have it supposed, however, that he took all these memorials and interferences good- naturedly, for such an idea would do injustice to his valiant spirit ; on the contrary, he never received a piece of advice in the whole course of his life, with- out first getting into a passion with the giver. But I have ever observed that your passionate little men, like small boats with large sails, are the casiest upset or blown out of their course; and this is demonstrated by Governor Kieft, who, though in temperament as hot as an old radish, and with a mind, the territory of which was subjected to perpetual whirlwinds and tornadoes, yet never failed to be carried away by the last piece of advice that was blown into his ear. Lucky was it for him that his power was not de- pendent upon the greasy multitude, and that as yet
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the populace did not possess the important privilege of nominating their chief magistrate! They, how- ever, did their best to help along public affairs ; pes- tering their governor incessantly, by goading him on with harangues and petitions, and then thwarting his fiery spirit with reproaches and memorials, like Sun- day jockies managing an unlucky devil of a hack- horse-so that Wilhelmus Kieft may be said to have been kept either on a worry or a hand-gallop through- out the whole of his administration.
VOL. I.
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CHAPTER VII.
Containing divers fearful accounts of Border Wars, and the flagrant outrages of the Mosstroopers of Connecticut-with the rise of the great Amphyc- tionic Council of the east, and the decline of Wil- liam the Testy.
IT was asserted by the wise men of ancient times, who were intimately acquainted with these matters, that at the gate of Jupiter's palace lay two huge tuns, the one filled with blessings, the other with misfortunes-and it verily seems as if the latter had been completely overturned, and left to deluge the unlucky province of Nieuw-Nederlandts. Among the many internal and external causes of irritation, the incessant irruptions of the Yankees upon his frontiers were continually adding fuel to the inflam- mable temper of William the Testy. Numerous ac- counts of these molestations may still be found among the records of the times ; for the commanders on the frontiers were especially careful to evince their vigilance and zeal, by striving who should send home the most frequent and voluminous budgets of complaints-as your faithful servant is eternally run- ning with complaints to the parlour, of the petty squabbles and misdemeanours of the kitchen.
Far be it from me to insinuate, however, that our worthy ancestors indulged in groundless alarms ; on
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the contrary, they were daily suffering a repetition of cruel wrongs,* not one of which but was a suffi- cient reason, according to the maxims of national dignity and honour, for throwing the whole universe mto hostility and confusion.
Oh ye powers ! into what indignation did every one of these outrages throw the philosophic William! letter after letter, protest after protest, proclamation after proclamation, bad Latin, worse English, and hideous Low Dutch, were exhausted in vain upon the inexorable Yankees; and the four-and-twenty letters of the alphabet, which, excepting his cham- pion the sturdy trumpeter Van Corlear, composed
* From among a multitude of bitter grievances still on record, I select a few of the most atrocious, and leave my readers to judge if our ancestors were not justifiable in getting into a very valiant passion on the occasion.
" 24 June, 1641. Some of Hartford have taken a hogg out of the vlact or common, and shut it up out of meer hate or other prejudice, causing it to starve for hunger in the stye !"
" 26 July. The foremencioned English did again drive the Companie's hoggs out of the vlact of Sicojoke into Hartford ; contending daily with reproaches, blows, beating the people with all disgrace that they could imagine."
" May 20, 1642. The English of Hartford have violently cut loose a horse of the honoured Companie's, that stood bound upon the common or vlact."
" May 9, 1643. The Companie's horses pastured upon the Companie's ground, were driven away by them of Connecti- cott or Hartford, and the herdsmen lustily beaten with hatchets and sticks."
" 16. Again they sold a young hogg belonging to the Com- panie, which piggs had pastured on the Companie's land." Haz. Col. State Papers.
[
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the only standing army he had at his command, were never off duty throughout the whole of his adminis- tration. Nor was Antony, the trumpeter, a whit ind his patron in fiery zeal; but like a faithful champion of the public safety, on the arrival of every fresh article of news, he was sure to sound his trum- pet from the ramparts, with most disastrous notes, throwing the people into violent alarms, and disturb- ing their rest at all times and seasons-which caused him to be held in very great regard, the public pam- pering and rewarding him, as we do brawling editors for similar services.
I am well aware of the perils that environ me in this part of my history. While raking with curious hands but pious heart, among the mouldering remains of former days, anxious to draw therefrom the honey of wisdom, I may fare somewhat like that valiant worthy, Samson, who in meddling with the carcass of a dead lion, drew a swarm of bees about his ears. Thus, while narrating the many misdeeds of the Yanokie, or Yankee tribe, it is ten chances to one but I offend the morbid sensibilities of certain of their unreasonable descendants, who may fly out and raise such a buzzing about this unlucky head of mine, that I shall need the tough hide of an Achilles, or an Orlando Furioso, to protect me from their stings.
Should such be the case, I should deeply and sin- cerely lament-not my misfortune in giving offence -but the wrong-headed perverseness of an ill- natured generation, in taking offence at any thing I say. That their ancestors did use my ancestors ill, is
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true, and I am very sorry for it. I would, with all my heart, the fact were otherwise; but as I am recording the sacred events of history, I'd not bate one nail's breadth of the honest truth, though I were sure the whole edition of my work should be bought up and burnt by the common hangman of Connec- ticut. And in sooth, now that these testy gentlemen have drawn me out, I will make bold to go farther and observe, that this is one of the grand purposes for which we impartial historians are sent into the world-to redress wrongs, and render justice on the heads of the guilty. So that, though a powerful nation may wrong its neighbours with temporary impunity, yet sooner or later a historian springs up, who wreaks ample chastisement on it in return.
Thus these mosstroopers of the east, little thought, I'll warrant it, while they were harassing the inoffen- sive province of Nieuw-Nederlandts, and driving its unhappy governor to his wit's end, that a historian should ever arise and give them their own with interest. Since then I am but performing my bounden duty as a historian, in avenging the wrongs of our revered ancestors, I shall make no further apology ; and indeed, when it is considered that I have all these ancient borderers of the east in my power, and at the mercy of my pen, I trust that it will be admitted I conduct myself with great humanity and modération.
To resume then the course of my history .- Ap- pearances to the eastward began now to assume a more formidable aspect than ever-for I would have you note that hitherto the province had been chiefly
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A HISTORY
molested by its immediate neighbours, the people of Connecticut, particularly of Hartford ; which, if we may judge from ancient chronicles, was the strong- hold of these sturdy mosstroopers, from whence they sallied forth, on their daring incursions, carrying ter- ror and devastation into the barns, the hen-roosts, and pig-styes of our revered ancestors.
Albeit, about the year 1643, the people of the east country, inhabiting the colonies of Massachusetts, Connecticut, New-Plymouth, and New-Haven, gath- ered together into a mighty conclave, and after buz- zing and debating for many days, like a political hive of bees in swarming time, at length settled them- selves into a formidable confederation, under the title of the United Colonies of New-England. By this union, they pledged themselves to stand by one another in all perils and assaults, and to co-operate in all measures, offensive and defensive, against the surrounding savages, among which were doubtlessly included our honoured ancestors of the Manhattoes ; and to give more strength and system to this confed- eration, a general assembly or grand council was to be annually held, composed of representatives from each of the provinces.
On receiving accounts of this combination, Wilhel- mus Kieft was struck with consternation, and, for the first time in his whole life, forgot to bounce, at hearing an unwelcome piece of intelligence-which a venerable historian of the times observes, was espe- cially noticed among the politicians of New-Amster- dam. The truth was, on turning over in his mind
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all that he had read at the Hague, about leagues and combinations, he found that this was an exact imita- tion of the Amphyctionic council, by which the states of Greece were enabled to attain to such power and supremacy, and the very idea made his heart to quake for the safety of his empire at the Manhattoes.
He strenuously insisted, that the whole object of this confederation was to drive the Nederlanders out of their fair domains ; and always flew into a great rage if any one presumed to doubt the probability of his conjecture. Nor was he wholly unwarranted in such a suspicion ; for at the very first annual meeting of the grand council, held at Boston, (which governor Kieft denominated the Delphos of this truly classic league,) strong representations were made against the Nederlanders, forasmuch as that in their dealings with the Indians, they carried on a traffic in "guns, powther, and shott-a trade damnable and injurious to the colonists. "* Not but what certain of the Connecticut traders did likewise dabble a little" in this " damnable traffic"-but then they always sold the Indians such scurvy guns, that they burst at the first discharge-and consequently hurt no one but these pagan savages.
The rise of this potent confederacy was a death- blow to the glory of William the Testy, for from that day forward, it was remarked by many, he never held up his head, but appeared quite crestfallen. His subsequent reign, therefore, affords but scanty
* Haz. Col. State Papers.
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food for the historic pen-we find the grand council continually augmenting in power, and threatening to overwhelm the province of Nieuw-Nederlandts ; while Wilhelmus Kieft kept constantly fulminating proclamations and protests, like a shrewd sea-captain firing off carronades and swivels, in order to break and disperse a waterspont-but alas! they had no more effect than if they had been so many blank cartridges.
The last document on record of this learned, phi- losophic, but unfortunate little man, is a long letter to the council of the Amphyctions, wherein, in the bitterness of his heart, he rails at the people of New- Haven, or Red Hills, for their uncourteous contempt of his protest, levelled at them for squatti- within the province of their High Mightinesses. letter, which is a model of epistolary writing, abound- ing with pithy apophthegms and classic figures, my limits will barely allow me to extract the following recondite passage :- " Certainly when we heare the Inhabitants of New-Hartford complayninge of us, we seem to heare Esop's wolfe complayninge of the lamb, or the admonition of the younge man, who cryed out to his mother, chideing with her neighboures, 'Oh Mother revile her, lest she first take up tha practice against you.' But being taught by precedent passages, we received such an answer to our protest from the inhabitants of New-Haven as we expected ; the Eagle always despiseth the Beetle Fly ; yet not- withstanding we do undauntedly continue on our purpose of pursuing our own right, by just arms and
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righteous means, and doe hope without scruple to execute the express commands of our superiors."* To show that this last sentence was not a mere empty menace, he concluded his letter, by intrepidly protesting against the whole council, as a horde of squatters and interlopers, inasmuch as they held their meeting at New-Haven, or the Red Hills, which he claimed as being within the province of the New- Netherlands.
Thus end the authenticated chronicles of the reign of William the Testy-for henceforth, in the trou- bles, the perplexities and the confusion of the times, he seems to have been totally overlooked, and to have slipped for ever through the fingers of scrupu- lous history. Indeed, for some cause or other which I cannot ivine, there appears to have been a combi- nation among historians to sink his very name into oblivion, in consequence of which they have one and all forborne even to speak of his exploits. This shows how important it is for great men to cultivate the favour of the learned, if they are ambitious of honour and renown. " Insult not the dervise," said a wise caliph to his son, " lest thou offend thine his- torian ;" and many a mighty man of the olden time, had he observed so obvious a maxim, might have escaped divers cruel wipes of the pen; which have been drawn across his character.
It has been a matter of deep concern to me, that such darkness and obscurity should hang over the
* Vide Haz. Col. State Papers.
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A HISTORY
latter days of the illustrious Kieft-for he was a mighty and great little man, worthy of being utterly renowned, seeing that he was the first potentate that introduced into this land the art of fighting by pro- clamation, and defending a country by trumpeters and windmills-an economic and humane mode of warfare, since revived with great applause, and which promises, if it can ever be carried into full effect, to save great trouble and treasure, and spare infinitely more bloodshed than either the discovery of gunpowder, or the invention of torpedoes.
It is true, that certain of the early provincial poets, of whom there were great numbers in the Nieuw-Nederlandts, taking advantage of the myste- rious exit of William the Testy, have fabled, that like Romulus, he was translated to the skies, and forms a very fiery little star, somewhere on the left claw of the crab ; while others, equally fanciful, de- clare that he had experienced a fate similar to that of the good King Arthur; who, we are assured by ancient bards, was carried away to the delicious abodes of fairy land, where he still exists, in pristine worth and vigour, and will one day or another return to restore the gallantry, the honour, and the immacu- late probity, which prevailed in the glorious days of the Round Table .*
* The old Welch bards believed that king Arthur was not dead; but carried awaie by the faries into some pleasant place, where he shold remaine for a time, and then returne againe and reigne in as great authority as ever .- Hollingshed.
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All these, however, are but pleasing fantasies, the cobweb visions of those dreaming varlets, the poets, to which I would not have my judicious reader attach any credibility. Neither am I disposed to yield any credit to the assertion of an ancient and rather apocryphal historian, who alleges that the ngenious Wilhelmus was annihilated by the blowing down of one of his windmills-nor to that of a writer of later times, who affirms that he fell a vic- tim to a philosophical experiment, which he had for many years been vainly striving to accomplish; hav- ing the misfortune to break his neck from the garret- window of the stadt-house, in an ineffectual attempt to catch swallows, by sprinkling fresh salt upon their tails. .
The most probable account, and to which I am inclined to give my implicit faith, is contained in a very obscure tradition, which declares, that what with the constant troubles on his frontiers-the in- cessant schemings and projects going on in his own pericranium-the memorials, petitions, remonstran- ces, and sage pieces of advice from divers respecta- ble meetings of the sovereign people-together with the refractory disposition of his council, who were sure to differ from him on every point, and uniformly to be in the wrong-all these, I say, did eternally
The Britons suppose that he shall come yet and conquere all Britaigne, for certes, this is the prophicye of Merlyn-He say'd that his deth shall be doubteous; and said soth, for men there- of yet have doubte and shullen for ever more-for men wyt not whether that he lyveth or is dede .- De Leew. Chron.
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operate to keep his mind in a kind of furnace heat, until he at length became as completely burnt out as a Dutch family pipe which has passed through three generations of hard smokers. In this manner did the choleric but magnanimous William the Testy undergo a kind of animal combustion, consuming away like a farthing rush-light-so that, when grim Death finally snuffed him out, there was scarce left enough of him to bury !
END OF VOL. I.
A HISTORY
OF
NEW-YORK,
FROM THE
BEGINNING OF THE WORLD
TO THE
END OF THE DUTCH DYNASTY.
CONTAINING,
AMONG MANY SURPRISING AND CURIOUS MATTERS,
THE UNUTTERABLE PONDERINGS OF WALTER THE DOUBTER THE DISASTROUS PROJECTS OF WILLIAM THE TESTY, AND THE CHIVALRIC ACHIEVEMENTS OF PETER THE HEADSTRONG,
THE THREE DUTCH GOVERNORS OF NEW-AMSTERDAM :
Being the only Authentic History of the Times that ever hath been or ever will be published
IN TWO VOLUMES. A NEW EDITION.
BY DIEDRICH KNICKERBOCKER.
VOL. II.
De Waarheid bie in duister lag, Die komt met klaarheid aan den dag.
PHILADELPHIA : LEA & BLANCHARD.
1840.
ENTERED according to the Act of Congress, in the year 1836, by WASHINGTON IRVING, in the clerk's office of the southern district of New-York.
CONTENTS OF VOL. II.
BOOK V.
CONTAINING THE FIRST PART OF THE REIGN OF PETER STUY- VESANT, AND HIS TROUBLES WITH THE AMPHYCTIONIC COUNCIL. ·
CHAP. I .- In which the death of a great man is shown to be no very inconsolable matter of sorrow -- and how Peter Stuyvesant acquired a great name, from the un- common strength of his head, . Page 7 CHAP. II .-- Showing how Peter the Headstrong bestirred himself among the rats and the cobwebs, on entering into office-and the perilous mistake he was guilty of, in his dealings with the Amphyctions, . 15
CHAP. III .- Containing divers speculations on war and negotiations-showing that a treaty of peace is a great national evil, . 22
CHAP. IV .- How Peter Stuyvesant was greatly belied by his adversaries the Mosstroopers-and his conduct thereupon, . .
29
CHAP. V .- How the New-Amsterdammers became great in arms, and of the direful catastrophe of a mighty army-together with Peter Stuyvesant's measures to fortify the city-and, how he was the original founder of the Battery, . 40
CHAP. VI .- How the people of the east country were sud- denly afflicted with a diabolical evil-and their judicious measures for the extirpation thereof, .
47
iv
CONTENTS.
CHAP. VII .- Which records the rise and renown of a valiant commander, showing that a man, like a bladder, may be puffed up to greatness and importance by mere wind, . · Page 54
BOOK VI.
CONTAINING THE SECOND PART OF TIIE REIGN OF PETER THE HEADSTRONG, AND HIS GALLANT ACHIEVEMENTS ON THE DELAWARE.
CHAP. I .- In which is exhibited a warlike portrait of the great Peter-and how General Van Poffenburgh distin- guished himself at Fort Casimir, 64
CHAP. II .- Showing how profound secrets are often brought to light; with the proceedings of Peter the Headstrong when he heard of the misfortunes of Gen- eral Van Poffenburgh, . 77
CHAP. III .- Containing Peter Stuyvesant's voyage up the Hudson, and the wonders and delights of that renowned river, .
CHAP. IV .- Decribing the powerful army that assembled at the city of New-Amsterdam-together with the inter- view between Peter the Headstrong and General Van Poffenburgh, and Peter's sentiments touching unfortu- nate great men, 95
86
CHAP. V .- In which the author discourses very ingenu- ously of himself-after which is to be found much interesting history about Peter the Headstrong and his followers, . 103
CHAP. VI .- Showing the great advantage that the author has over his reader in time of battle-together with divers portentous movements, which betoken that some- thing terrible is about to happen, . . 114
CHAP. VII .- Containing the most horrible battle ever re- corded in poetry or prose-with the admirable exploits of Peter the Headstrong, . . 122
V
CONTENTS.
CHAP. VIII .- In which the author and the reader,, while reposing after the battle, fall into a very grave discourse -after which is recorded the conduct of Peter Stuy- vesant after his victory, . Page 136
BOOK VII.
CONTAINING THE THIRD PART OF THE REIGN OF PETER THE HEADSTRONG-HIS TROUBLES WITH THE BRITISH NATION, AND THE DECLINE. AND FALL OF THE DUTCH DYNASTY
CHAP. I .- How Peter Stuyvesant relieved the sovereign people from the burthen of taking care of the nation -with sundry particulars of his conduct in time of peace, . . 147
CHAP. II .- How Peter Stuyvesant was much molested by the Mosstroopers of the East, and the Giants of Merry- land-and how a dark and horrid conspiracy was carried on in the British Cabinet against the prosperity of the Manhattoes, 160
CHAP. III .- Of Peter Stuyvesant's expedition into the East Country-showing that, though an old bird, he did not understand trap, . 169
CHAP. IV .- How the people of New-Amsterdam were thrown into a great panic, by the news of a threatened invasion, and the manner in which they fortified them- selves, 181
CHAP. V .- Showing how the grand Council of the New- Netherlands, came to be miraculously gifted with long tongues-together with a great triumph of Economy, 186 CHAP. VI .- In which the troubles of New-Amsterdam appear to thicken-showing the bravery, in time of peril, of a people who defend themselves by resolutions, 193 CHAP. VII .- Containing a doleful disaster of Antony the Trumpeter -- And how Peter Stuyvesant, like a second Cromwell, suddenly dissolved a rump Parliament, . . 204
A 2
vi
CONTENTS.
CHAP. VIII .- How Peter Stuyvesant defended the city of New-Amsterdam, for several days, by dint of the strength of his head, . Page 211
CHAP. IX .- Containing the dignified retirement, and mor- tal surrender, of Peter the Headstrong, . 221 CHAP. X .- The Author's reflections upon what has been said, . . 229
BOOK I.
CONTAINING THE FIRST PART OF THE REIGN OF PETER STUY- VESANT, AND HIS TROUBLES WITH THE AMPHYCTIONIC COUNCIL.
CHAPTER I.
In which the death of a great man is shown to be no very inconsolable matter of sorrow-and how Peter Stuyvesant acquired a great name from the uncommon strength of his head.
To a profound philosopher, like myself, who am apt to see clear through a subject, where the pene- tration of ordinary, people extends but half-way, there is no fact more simple and manifest, than that the death of a great man is a matter of very little im- portance. Much as we may think of ourselves, and much as we may excite the empty plaudits of the million, it is certain that the greatest among us do actually fill but an exceeding small space in the , world ; and it is equally certain, that even that small space is quickly supplied when we leave it vacant. " Of what consequence is it," said Pliny, " that indi- viduals appear, or make their exit? the world is a theatre whose scenes and actors are continually changing." Never did philosopher speak more cor- rectly; and I only wonder that so wise a remark could have existed so many ages, and mankind not
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A HISTORY
have laid it more to heart. Sage follows on in the footsteps of sage ; one hero just steps out of his tri- umphal car to make way for the hero who comes after him ; and of the proudest monarch it is merely said, that-" he slept with his fathers, and his suc- cessor reigned in his stead."
The world, to tell the private truth, cares but little for their loss, and if left to itself would soon forget to grieve ; and though a nation has often been figura- tively drowned in tears on the death of a great man, yet it is ten chances to one if an individual tear has been shed on the occasion, excepting from the forlorn pen of some hungry author. It is the historian, the biographer, and the poet, who have the whole bur- den of grief to sustain ; who-kind souls !- like un- dertakers in England, act the part of chief mourners -who inflate a nation with sighs it never heaved, and deluge it with tears it never dreamt of shedding. Thus, while the patriotic author is weeping and howling, in prose, in blank verse, and in rhyme, and collecting the drops of public sorrow into his volume, as into a lachrymal vase, it is more than probable his fellow-citizens are eating and drinking, fiddling and dancing, as utterly ignorant of the bitter lamentations made in their name, as are those men of straw, John Doe and Richard Roe, of the plaintiffs for whom they are generously pleased on divers occasions to become sureties.
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