USA > New York > New York City > A history of New-York : from the beginning of the world to the end of the Dutch dynasty > Part 5
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Thus were the European worthies who first dis- covered America, clearly entitled to the soil; and not only entitled to the soil, but likewise to the eternal thanks of these infidel savages, for having come so far, endured so many perils by sea and land, and taken such unwearied pains, for no other purpose but to improve their forlorn, uncivilized, and heathen- ish condition-for having made them acquainted with the comforts of life; for having introduced among them the light of religion, and finally-for having hurried them out of the world, to enjoy its reward !
But as argument is never so well understood by us selfish mortals as when it comes home to ourselves, and as I am particularly anxious that this question should be put to rest for ever, I will suppose a parallel case, by way of arousing the candid attention of my readers.
Let us suppose, then, that the inhabitants of the moon, by astonishing advancement in science, and by profound insight into that lunar philosophy, the. mere flickerings of which have of late years dazzled VOL. I. G
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the feeble optics, and addled the shallow brains of the good people of our globe-let us suppose, I say, that the inhabitants of the moon, by these means, had arrived at such a command of their energies, such an enviable state of perfectibility, as to control the elements, and navigate the boundless regions of space. Let us suppose a roving crew of these soaring philosophers, in the course of an aerial voyage of discovery among the stars, should chance to alight upon this outlandish planet.
And here I beg my readers will not have the un- charitableness to smile, as is too frequently the fault of volatile readers, when perusing the grave specula- tions of philosophers. I am far from indulging in any sportive vein at present; nor is the supposition I have been making so wild as many may deem it. It has long been a very serious and anxious question with me, and many a time and oft, in the course of my overwhelming cares and contrivances for the welfare and protection of this my native planet, have I lain awake whole nights debating in my mind, whether it were most probable we should first dis- cover and civilize the moon, or the moon discover and civilize our globe. Neither would the prodigy of sailing in the air and cruizing among the stars be a whit more astonishing and incomprehensible to us, than was the European mystery of navigating float- ing castles, through the world of waters, to the sim- ple savages. We have already discovered the art of coasting along the aerial shores of our planet, by means of balloons, as the savages had of venturing
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along their sea-coasts in canoes ; and the disparity be- tween the former, and the aerial vehicles of the philosophers from the moon, might not be greater than that between the bark canoes of the savages, and the mighty ships of their discoverers. I might here pursue an endless chain of similar speculations ; but as they would be unimportant to my subject, I abandon them to my reader, particularly if he be a philosopher, as matters well worthy of his attentive - consideration.
To return then to my supposition-let us suppose that the aerial visitants I have mentioned, possessed of vastly superior knowledge to ourselves ; that is to say, possessed of superior knowledge in the art of ex- termination-riding on hippogriffs-defended with impenetrable armour-armed with concentrated sun- beams, and provided with vast engines, to hurl enor- mous moon-stones : in short, let us suppose them, if our vanity will permit the supposition, as superior to us in knowledge, and consequently in power, as the Europeans were to the Indians, when they first dis- covered them. All this is very possible ; it is only our self-sufficiency that makes us think otherwise ; and I warrant the poor savages, before they had any knowledge of the white men, armed in all the terrors of glittering steel and tremendous gunpowder, were as perfectly convinced that they themselves were the wisest, the most virtuous, powerful, and perfect of created beings, as are at this present moment, the lordly inhabitants of Old England, the volatile popu-
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lace of France, or even the self-satisfied citizens of this most enlightened republic.
Let us suppose, moreover, that the aerial voyagers, finding. this planet to be nothing but a howling wil- derness, inhabited by us, poor savages and wild beasts, : shall take formal possession of it in the name of his most gracious and philosophic excellency, the man in the moon. Finding, however, that their numbers are incompetent to hold it in complete subjection, on account of the ferocious barbarity of its inhabitants ; they shall take our worthy President, the King of England, the Emperor of Hayti, the mighty Bona- parte, and the great King of Bantam, and returning to their native planet, shall carry them to court, as were the Indian chiefs led about as spectacles in the courts of Europe.
Then making such obeisance as the etiquette of the court requires, they shall address the puissant man in the moon, in, as near as I can conjecture, the following terms :
" Most serene and mighty Potentate, whose do- minions extend as far as eye can reach, who rideth on the Great Bear, useth the sun as a looking-glass, and maintaineth unrivalled control over tides, mad- men, and sea-crabs : We, thy liege subjects, have just returned from a voyage of discovery, in the course of which we have landed and taken possession of that obscure little dirty planet which thou beholdest rolling at a distance. The five uncouth monsters, which we have brought into this august presence
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were once very important chiefs among their,fellow- savages, who are a race of beings totally destitute of the common attributes of humanity; and differing in every thing from the inhabitants of the moon, inas- much as they carry their heads upon their shoulders, instead of under their arms-have two eyes instead of one-are utterly destitute of tails, and of a variety of unseemly complexions, particularly of a horrible whiteness-instead of pea-green.
" We have moreover found these miserable savages sunk into a state of the utmost ignorance and de- pravity, every man shamelessly living with his own wife, and rearing his own children, instead of in- dulging in that community of wives enjoined by the law of nature, as expounded by the philosophers of the moon. In a word, they have scarcely a gleam of true philosophy among them, but are, in fact, utter heretics, ignoramuses, and barbarians. Taking com- passion, therefore, on the sad condition of these sub- lunary wretches, we have endeavoured, while we remained on their planet, to introduce among them the light of reason-and the comforts of the moon. We have treated them to mouthfuls of moonshine, and draughts of nitrous oxyde, which they swallowed with incredible voracity, particularly the females ; and we have likewise endeavoured to instil into them the precepts of lunar philosophy. We have insisted upon their renouncing the contemptible shackles of religion and common sense, and adoring the pro- found, omnipotent, and all-perfect energy, and the ecstatic, immutable, immoveable perfection. But
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such was the unparalleled obstinacy of these wretched savages, that they persisted in cleaving to their wives. and adhering to their religion, and absolutely set at nought the sublime doctrines of the moon-nay, among other abominable heresies, they even went so far as blasphe nously to declare, that this ineffable planet was made of nothing more nor less than green cheese !"
At these words, the great man in the moon (being a very profound philosopher) shall fall into a terrible passion, and possessing equal authority over things that do not belong to him, as did whilome his holi- ness the Pope, shall forthwith issue a formidable bull, specifying, " That, whereas a certain crew of Lunatics have lately discovered, and taken possession of, a newly discovered planet called the earth-and that whereas it is inhabited by none but a race of two-legged animals, that carry their heads on their shoulders instead of under their arms ; cannot talk the lunatic language ; have two eyes instead of one; are destitute of tails, and of a horrible whiteness, instead of pea-green-therefore, and for a variety of other ex- cellent reasons, they are considered incapable of pos- sessing any property in the planet they infest, and the right and title to it are confirmed to its original dis- coverers .- And furthermore, the colonists who are now about to depart to the aforesaid planet are au- thorized and commanded to use every means to con- vert these infidel savages from the darkness of Chris- tianity, and make them thorough and absolute Luna- tics."
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In consequence of this benevolent bull, our phi- losophic benefactors go to work with hearty zeal. They seize upon our fertile territories, scourge us from our rightful possessions, relieve us from our wives, and when we are unreasonable enough to complain, they will turn upon us and say, Miserable barbarians ! ungrateful wretches ! have we not come thousands of miles to improve your worthless planet ? have we not fed you with moonshine ? have we not intoxicated you with nitrous oxyde ? does not our moon give you light every night, and have you the baseness to murmur, when we claim a pitiful return for all these benefits ? But finding that we not only persist in absolute contempt of their reasoning and disbelief in their philosophy, but even go so far as daringly to defend our property, their patience shall be exhausted, and they shall resort to their superior powers of argument; hunt us with hippogriffs, trans- fix us with concentrated sun-beams, demolish our cities with moon-stones ; until having, by main force, converted us to the true faith, they shall graciously permit us to exist in the torrid deserts of Arabia, or the frozen regions of Lapland, there to enjoy the blessings of civilization and the charms of lunar phi- losophy, in much the same manner as the reformed and enlightened savages of this country are kindly suffered to inhabit the inhospitable forests of the north, or the impenetrable wilderness of South America.
Thus, I hope, I have clearly proved, and strikingly illustrated, the right of the early colonists to the pos-
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session of this country; and thus is this gigantic question completely vanquished : so having manfully surmounted all obstacles, and subdued all opposition, what remains but that I should forthwith conduct my readers into the city which we have been so long in a manner besieging? But hold-before I proceed another step, I must pause to take breath, and recover · from the excessive fatigue I have undergone, in pre- paring to begin this most accurate of histories. And in this I do but imitate the example of a renowned Dutch tumbler of antiquity, who took a start of three miles for the purpose of jumping over a hill, but hav- ing run himself out of breath by the time he reached the foot, sat himself quietly down for a few moments to blow, and then walked over it at his leisure.
BOOK II.
TREATING OF THE FIRST SETTLEMENT OF THE PROVINCE OF NIEUW NEDERLANDTS.
CHAPTER I.
In which are contained divers reasons why a man should not write in a hurry. Also, of Master Hen- drick Hudson, his discovery of a strange country -- and how he was magnificently rewarded by the munificence of their High Mightinesses.
MY great-grandfather, by the mother's side, Her- manus Van Clattercop, when employed to build the large stone church at Rotterdam, which stands about three hundred yards to your left after you turn off from the Boomkeys, and which is so conveniently constructed, that all the zealous Christians of Rotter- dam prefer sleeping through a sermon there to any other church in the city-my great-grandfather, I say, when employed to build that famous church, did, in the first place, send to Delft for a box of long pipes ; then having purchased a new spitting-box and a hun- dred weight of the best Virginia, he sat himself down, and did nothing for the space of three months but smoke most laboriously. Then did he spend full three months more in trudging on foot, and voyaging in trekschuit, from Rotterdam to Amsterdam-to Delft-to Haerlem-to Leyden-to the Hague,
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knocking his head and breaking his pipe against every church in his road. Then did he advance gradually nearer and nearer to Rotterdam, until he came in full sight of the identical spot whereon the church was to be built. Then did he spend three months longer in walking round it and round it, contem- plating it, first from one point of view, and then from another-now would he be paddled by it on the canal-now would he peep at it through a telescope, from the other side of the Meuse, and now would he take a bird's-eye glance at it, from the top of one of those gigantic windmills which protect the gates of the city. The good folks of the place were on the tiptoe of expectation and impatience-notwithstand- ing all the turmoil of my great-grandfather, not a symptom of the church was yet to be seen; they even began to fear it would never be brought into the world, but that its great projector would lie down and die in labour of the mighty plan he had conceived. At length, having occupied twelve good · months in puffing and paddling, and talking and walking-having travelled over all Holland, and even taken a peep into France and Germany-hav- ing smoked five hundred and ninety-nine pipes, and three hundred weight of the best Virginia tobacco- my great-grandfather gathered together all that know- ing and industrious class of citizens who prefer at- tending to any body's business sooner than their own, and having pulled off his coat and five pair of breeches, he advanced sturdily up, and laid the corner-stone of the church, in the presence of the whole multi-
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tude-just at the commencement of the thirteenth month.
In a similar manner, and with the example of my worthy ancestor full before my eyes, have I proceed- ed in writing this most authentic history. The honest Rotterdamers no doubt thought my great-grandfather was doing nothing at all to the purpose, while he was making such a world of prefatory bustle, about the building of his church-and many of the inge- nious inhabitants of this fair city will unquestionably suppose that all the preliminary chapters, with the discovery, population, and final settlement of Amer- ica, were totally irrevalent and superfluous-and that the main business, the history of New-York, is not a jot more advanced, than if I had never taken up my pen. Never were wise people more mistaken in their conjectures ; in consequence of going to work slowly and deliberately, the church came out of my grandfather's hands one of the most sumptuous, goodly, and glorious edifices in the known world- excepting that, like our magnificent capitol, at Wash- ington, it was begun on so grand a scale that the good folks could not afford to finish more than the wing of it. So, likewise, I trust, if ever I am able to finish this work on the plan I have commenced, (of which, in simple truth, I sometimes have my doubts,) it will be found that I have pursued the latest rules of my art, as exemplified in the writings of all the great American historians, and wrought a very large history out of a small subject-which now-a-days is considered one of the great triumphs
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of historic skill. To proceed, then, with the thread of my story.
In the ever-memorable year of our Lord, 1609, on a Saturday morning, the five-and-twentieth day of March, old style, did that " worthy and irrecoverable discoverer, (as he has justly been called,) Master Henry Hudson," set sail from Holland in a stout ves- sel called the Half Moon, being employed by the Dutch East India Company, to seek a north-west passage to China.
Henry (or, as the Dutch historians call him, Hen- drick) Hudson, was a sea-faring man of renown, who had learned to smoke tobacco under Sir Walter Raleigh, and is said to have been the first to intro- duce it into Holland, which gained him much popu- larity in that country, and caused him to find great favour in the eyes of their High Mightinesses, the Lords States General, and also of the honourable West India Company. He was a short, square, brawny old gentleman, with a double chin, a mastiff mouth, and a broad copper nose, which was supposed in those days to have acquired its fiery hue from the constant neighbourhood of his tobacco-pipe.
He wore a true Andrea Ferrara, tucked in a leathern belt, and a commodore's cocked hat on one side of his head. He was remarkable for always jerking up his breeches when he gave out his orders; and his voice sounded not unlike the brattling of a tin trumpet-owing to the number of hard north- westers which he had swallowed in the course of his sea-faring.
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Such was Hendrick Hudson, of whom we have heard so much, and know so little : and I have been thus particular in his description, for the benefit of modern painters and statuaries, that they may repre- sent him as he was ; and not, according to their com- mon custom with modern heroes, make him look like Cæsar, or Marcus Aurelius, or the Apollo of Belvidere.
. As chief mate and favourite companion, the com- modore chose master Robert Juet, of Limehouse, in England. By some his name has been spelled Chewit, and ascribed to the circumstance of his having been the first man that ever chewed tobacco ; but this I believe to be a mere flippancy; more especially as certain of his progeny are living at this day, who write their name Juet. He was an old comrade and carly schoolmate of the great Hudson, with whom he had often played truant and sailed chip boats in a neighbouring pond, when they were little boys --- from whence it is said the commodore first derived his bias towards a sea-faring life. Certain it is, that the old people about Limehouse declared Robert Juet to be an unlucky urchin, prone to mischief, that would one day or other come to the gallows.
He grew up as boys of that kind often grow up, a rambling, heedless varlet, tossed about in all quarters of the world-meeting with more perils and wonders than did Sinbad the Sailor, without growing a whit more wise, prudent, or ill-natured. Under every misfortune, he comforted himself with a quid of to- bacco, and the truly philosophic maxim, that " it VOL. I. H
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will be all the same thing a hundred years hence. ' He was skilled in the art of carving anchors and true lovers' knots on the bulk-heads and quarter-railings, and was considered a great wit on board ship, in consequence of his playing pranks on every body around, and now and then even making a wry face at old Hendrick, when his back was turned.
To this universal genius are we indebted for many particulars concerning this voyage; of which he wrote a history, at the request of the commodore, who had an unconquerable aversion to writing him- self, from having received so many floggings about it when at school. To supply the deficiencies of mas- ter Juet's journal, which is written with true log- book brevity, I have availed myself of divers family traditions, handed down from my great-great-grand- father, who accompanied the expedition in the ca- pacity of cabin-boy.
From all that I can learn, few incidents worthy of remark happened in the voyage ; and it mortifies me exceedingly that I have to admit so note'd an expedi- dition into my work, without making any more of it.
Suffice it to say, the voyage was prosperous and tranquil-the crew, being a patient people, much given to slumber and vacuity, and but little troubled with the disease of thinking-a malady of the mind, which is the sure breeder of discontent. Hudson had laid in abundance of gin and sour-crout, and every man was allowed to sleep quietly at his post unless the wind blew. True it is, some slight dissatisfaction
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was shown on two or three occasions, at certain un- reasonable conduct of Commodore Hudson. Thus, for instance, he forbore to shorten sail when the wind was light, and the weather serene, which was con- sidered among the most experienced Dutch seamen, as certain weather-breeders, or prognostics, that the weather would change for the worse. He acted, moreover, in direct contradiction to that ancient and sage rule of the Dutch navigators, who always took in sail at night-put the helm a-port, and turned in -by which precaution they had a good night's rest -were sure of knowing where they were the next morning, and stood but little chance of running down a continent in the dark. He likewise prohibited the seamen from wearing more than five jackets and six pair of breeches, under pretence of rendering them more alert ; and no man was permitted to go aloft, and hand in sails with a pipe in his mouth, as is the invariable Dutch custom at the present day. All these grievances, though they might ruffle for a mo- ment the constitutional tranquillity of the honest Dutch tars, made but transient impression ; they eat hugely, drank profusely, and slept immeasurably, and being under the especial guidance of Providence, the ship was safely conducted to the coast of America ; . where, after sundry unimportant touchings and stand- ing off and on, she at length, on the fourth day of September, entered that majestic bay, which at this day expands its ample bosom before the city of New-
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York, and which had never before been visited by any European .*
It has been traditionary in our family, that when the great navigator was first blessed with a view of this enchanting island, he was observed, for the first
* True it is-and I am not ignorant of the fact, that in a cer- tain aprocryphal book of voyages, compiled by one Hakluyt, is to be found a letter written to Francis the First, by one Gio- vanne, or John Verazzani, on which some writers are inclined to found a belief that this delightful bay had been visited nearly a century previous to the voyage of the enterprising Hudson. Now this (albeit it has met with the countenance of certain very judicious and learned men) I hold in utter disbelief, and that for various good and substantial reasons: First, Because on strict examination it will be found, that the description given by this Verazzani applies about as well to the bay of New-York as it does to my night-cap. Secondly, Because that this John Verazzani, for whom I already begin to feel a most bitter en- mity, is a native of Florence ; and every body knows the crafty wiles of these losel Florentines, by which they filched away the laurels from the brows of the immortal Colon, (vulgarly called Columbus,) and bestowed them on their officious townsman, Amerigo Vespucci; and I make no doubt they are equally ready to rob the illustrious Hudson of the credit of discovering this beautiful island, adorned by the city of New-York, and placing it beside their usurped discovery of South America. And, thirdly, I award my decision in favour of the pretensions of Hendrick Hudson, inasmuch as his expedition sailed from Holland, being truly and absolutely a Dutch enterprise-and though all the proofs in the world were introduced on the other side, I would set them at nought, as undeserving my attention. If these three reasons be not sufficient to satisfy every burgher of this ancient city-all I can say is, they are degenerate de scendants from their venerable Dutch ancestors, and totally unworthy the trouble of convincing. Thus, therefore, the title of Hendrick Hudson to his renowned discovery is fully vindi- cated.
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and only time in his life, to exhibit strong symptoms of astonishment and admiration. He is said to have turned to master Juet, and uttered these remarkable words, while he pointed towards this paradise of the new world-" See ! there !" -- and thereupon, as was always his way when he was uncommonly pleased, he did puff out such clouds of dense tobacco-smoke, that in one minute the vessel was out of sight of land, and master Juet was fain to wait until the winds dispersed this impenetrable fog.
It was indeed-as my great-great-grandfather used to say-though in truth I never heard him, for he died, as might be expected, before I was born-"it was indeed a spot on which the eye might have revelled for ever, in ever-new and never-ending beauties." The island of Mannahata spread wide before them, like some sweet vision of fancy, or some fair creation of industrious magic. Its hills of smiling green swelled gently one above another, crowned with lofty trees of luxuriant growth ; some pointing their tapering foliage towards the clouds, which were glo- riously transparent; and others loaded with a verdant burthen of clambering vines, bowing their branches to the earth, that was covered with flowers. On the. gentle declivities of the hills were scattered in gay profusion, the dog-wood, the sumach, and the wild brier, whose scarlet berries and white blossoms glowed brightly among the deep green of the sur- rounding foliage ; and here and there a curling col- umn of smoke rising from the little glens that opened along the shore, seemed to promise the weary voy-
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