USA > New York > New York City > A history of New-York : from the beginning of the world to the end of the Dutch dynasty > Part 18
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Now all that I have here advanced is so noto-
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riously true, that I almost blush to take up the time of my readers with treating of matters which must many a time have stared them in the face. But the proposition to which I would most earnestly call their attention, is this-that though a negotiation be the most harmonizing of all national transactions, yet a treaty of peace is a great political evil, and one of the most fruitful sources of war.
I have rarely seen an instance of any special con- tract between individuals, that did not produce jeal- ousies, bickerings, and often downright ruptures between them ; nor did I ever know of a treaty be- tween two nations, that did not occasion continual misunderstandings. How many worthy country neighbours have I known, who, after living in peace and good-fellowship for years, have been thrown into a state of distrust, cavilling, and animosity, by some ill-starred agreement about fences, runs of water, and stray cattle. And how many well-meaning na- tions, who would otherwise have remained in the most amicable disposition towards each other, have been brought to swords' points about the infringe- ment or misconstruction of some treaty, which in an evil hour they had concluded by way of making their amity more sure !
Treaties, at best, are but complied with so long as interest requires their fulfilment ; consequently, they are virtually binding on the weaker party only, or, in plain truth, they are not binding at all. No na- tion will wantonly go to war with another, if it has nothing to gain thereby, and therefore needs no treaty
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to restrain it from violence ; and if it have any thing to gain, I much question, from what I have witnessed of the righteous conduct of nations, whether any treaty could be made so strong that it could not thrust the sword through-nay, I would hold ten to one, the treaty itself would be the very source to which resort would be had, to find a pretext for hos- tilities.
Thus therefore I conclude-that though it is the best of all policies for a nation to keep up a constant negotiation with its neighbours, yet it is the summit of folly for it ever to be beguiled into a treaty ; for then comes on the non-fulfilment and infraction, then remonstrance, then altercation, then retaliation, then recrimination, and finally open war. In a word, ne- gotiation is like courtship, a time of sweet words, gallant speeches, soft looks, and endearing caresses ; but the marriage ceremony is the signal for hostilities.
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CHAPTER IV.
How Peter Stuyvesant was greatly belied by his ad versaries the Mosstroopers-and his conduct there- upon.
IF my pains-taking reader be not somewhat per- plexed, in the course of the ratiocination of my last chapter, he will doubtless at one glance perceive, that the great Peter, in concluding a treaty with his east- ern neighbours, was guilty of a lamentable error and heterodoxy in politics. To this unlucky agreement may justly be ascribed a world of little infringements, altercations, negotiations, and bickerings, which after- wards took place between the irreproachable Stuy- vesant, and the evil-disposed council of Amphyctions. All these did not a little disturb the constitutional serenity of the good burghers of Manna-hata; but in sooth they were so very pitiful in their nature and effects, that a grave historian, who grudges the time spent in any thing less than recording the fall of em- pires, and the revolution of worlds, would think them unworthy to be inscribed on his sacred page.
The reader is therefore to take it for granted, though I scorn to waste in the detail that time which my furrowed brow and trembling hand inform me is invaluable, that all the while the great Peter was oc- cupied in those tremendous and bloody contests that
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I shall shortly rehearse, there was a continued series of little, dirty, snivelling skirmishes, scourings, broils, and maraudings, made on the eastern frontiers, by the mosstroopers of Connecticut. But, like that mirror of chivalry, the sage and valorous Don Quixote, I leave these petty contests for some future Sancho Panza of a historian, while I reserve my prowess and my pen for achievements of higher dignity.
Now did the great Peter conclude, that his labours had come to a close in the east, and that he had no- thing to do but apply himself to the internal pros- perity of his beloved Manhattoes. Though a man of great modesty, he could not help boasting that he had at length shut the temple of Janus, and that, were all rulers like a certain person who should be nameless, it would never be opened again. But the exultation of the worthy governor was put to a speedy check; for scarce was the treaty concluded, and hardly was the ink dried on the paper, before the crafty and discourteous council of the league sought a new pretence for re-illuming the flames of discord.
It seems to be the nature of confederacies, repub- lics, and such like powers, that want the true mascu- line character, to indulge exceedingly in certain fen- inine panics and suspicions. Like some good lady of delicate and sickly virtue, who is in constant dread of having her vestal purity contaminated or seduced, and who, if a man do but take her by the hand, or look her in the face, is ready to cry out, rape ! and ruin !-- so these squeamish governments are perpet- ually on the alarm for the virtue of the country ;
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every manly measure is a violation of the constitution --- every monarchy or other masculine government around them is laying snares for their seduction ; and they are for ever detecting infernal plots, by which they were to be betrayed, dishonoured, and " brought upon the town."
If any proof were wanting of the truth of these opinions, I would instance the conduct of a certain republic of our day; who, good dame, has already withstood so many plots and conspiracies against her virtue, and has so often come near being made " no better than she should be." I would notice her constant jealousies of poor old England, who, by her own account, has been incessantly trying to sap her honour ; though, from my soul, I never could believe the honest old gentleman meant her any rudeness. Whereas, on the contrary, I think I have several times caught her squeezing hands and indulging in certain amorous oglings with that sad fellow Buona- parte-who all the world knows to be a great des- poiler of national virtue, to have ruined all the em- pires in his neighbourhood, and to have debauched every republic that came in his way-but so it is, these rakes seem always to gain singular favour with the ladies.
But I crave pardon of my reader for thus wan- dering, and will endeavour in some measure to apply the foregoing remarks; for in the year 1651, we are told, the great confederacy of the east accused the immaculate Peter-the soul of honour and heart of steel-that by divers gifts and promises he had
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been secretly endeavouring to instigate the Narro- higansett, (or Narraganset) Mohaque, and Pequot In- dians, to surprise and massacre the Yankee settle- ments. " For," as the council slanderously observed, " the Indians round about for divers hundred miles cercute, seemeto have drunke deep of an intoxicating cupp, att or from the Manhatoes against the English, whoe have sought their good, both in bodily and spirituall respects."
History does not make mention how the great council of the Amphyctions came by this precious plot ; whether it was honestly bought at a fair mar- ket price, or discovered by sheer good fortune-it is certain, however, that they examined divers Indians, who all swore to the fact as sturdily as though they had been so many Christian troopers: and to be more sure of their veracity, the sage council pre- viously made every mother's son of them devoutly drunk, remembering an old and trite proverb, which it is not necessary for me to repeat.
Though descended from a family which suffered much injury from the losel Yankees of those times- my great-grandfather having had a yoke of oxen and his best pacer stolen, and having received a pair of black eyes and a bloody nose in one of these border wars; and my grandfather, when a very little boy tending pigs, having been kidnapped and severely flogged by a long-sided Connecticut schoolmaster- yet I should have passed over all these wrongs with forgiveness and oblivion-I could even have suffered them to have broken Evert Ducking's head, to have
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kicked the doughty Jacobus Van Curlet and his rag- ged regiment out of doors, carried every hog into captivity, and depopulated every hen-roost on the face of the earth, with perfect impunity-But this wanton attack upon one of the most gallant and irreproachable heroes of modern times is too much even for me to digest, and has overset, with a single puff, the patience of the historian, and the forbear- ance of the Dutchman.
Oh reader, it was false !- I swear to thee, it was false ! if thou hast any respect to my word-if the undeviating character for veracity, which I have en- deavoured to maintain throughout this work, has its due weight with thee, thou wilt not give thy faith to this tale of slander ; for I pledge my honour and my immortal fame to thee, that the gallant Peter Stuy- vesant was not only innocent of this foul conspiracy, but would have suffered his right arm, or even his wooden leg, to consume with slow and everlasting flames, rather than attempt to destroy his enemies in any other way than open generous warfare-beshrew those caitiff scouts, that conspired to sully his honest name by such an imputation !
Peter Stuyvesant, though he perhaps had never heard of a knight-errant, yet had he as true a heart of chivalry as ever beat at the round table of King Arthur. There was a spirit of native gallantry, a noble and generous hardihood diffused through his rugged manners, which altogether gave unquestion able tokens of a heroic mind. He was, in truth, a hero of chivalry, struck off by the hand of Nature
៛
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at a single heat, and though she had taken no farther care to polish and refine her workmanship, he stood forth a miracle of her skill.
But, not to be figurative, (a fault in historic writing which I particularly eschew,) the great Peter pos- sessed in an eminent degree, the seven renowned and noble virtues of knighthood, which, as he had never consulted authors in the disciplining and cultivating of his mind, I verily believe must have been implant- ed in the corner of his heart by dame Nature herself -where they flourished among his hardy qualities like so many sweet wild flowers, shooting forth and thriving with redundant luxuriance among stubborn rocks. Such was the mind of Peter the Headstrong, and if my admiration for it has, on this occasion, transported my style beyond the sober gravity which becomes the laborious scribe of historic events, I can plead as an apology, that though a little gray-headed Dutchman arrived almost at the bottom of the down- hill of life, I still retain some portion of that celestial fire which sparkles in the eye of youth, when con- templating the virtues and achievements of ancient worthies. Blessed, thrice and nine times blessed be the good St. Nicholas-that I have escaped the in fluence of that chilling apathy, which too often freezes the sympathies of age ; which, like a churlish spirit, sits at the portals of the heart, repulsing every genial sentiment, and paralyzing every spontaneous glow of enthusiasm!
No sooner then did this scoundrel imputation on his honour reach the ear of Peter Stuyvesant, than
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he proceeded in a manner which would have re- dounded to his credit, even though he had studied for years in the library of Don Quixote himself. He immediately despatched his valiant trumpeter and squire, Antony Van Corlear, with orders to ride night and day, as herald, to the Amphyctionic council, re proaching them, in terms of noble indignation, for giving ear to the slanders of heathen infidels, against the character of a Christian, a gentleman, and a sol- dier-and declaring, that as to the treacherous and bloody plot alleged against him, whoever affirmed it to be true, lied in his teeth !- to prove which, he de- fied the president of the council and all his compeers, or, if they pleased, their puissant champion, captain Alicxsander Partridg, that mighty man of Rhodes, to meet him in single combat, where he would trust the vindication of his innocence to the prowess of his arm.
This challenge being delivered with due ceremony, Antony Van Corlear sounded a trumpet of defiance before the whole council, ending with a most horrific and nasal twang, full in the face of Captain Partridg, who almost jumped out of his skin in an ecstasy of astonishment at the noise. This done, he mounted a tall Flanders mare, which he always rode, and trotted merrily towards the Manhattoes-passing through Hartford, and Piquag, and Middletown, and all the other border towns-twanging his trumpet like a very devil, so that the sweet valleys and banks of the Connecticut resounded with the warlike melody -- and stopping occasionally to eat pumpkin pies, dance at country frolics, and bundle with the beau-
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teous lasses of those parts-whom he rejoiced ex- ceedingly with his soul-stirring instrument.
But the grand council, being composed of consid- erate men, had no idea of running a tilting with such a fiery hero as the hardy Peter-on the contrary, they sent him an answer couched in the meekest, the most mild, and provoking terms, in which they as sured him that his guilt was proved to their perfect satisfaction, by the testimony of divers sober and respectable Indians, and concluding with this truly amiable paragraph-" For youre confidant denialls of the Barbarous plott charged will .waigh little in balance against such evidence, soe that we must still require and seeke due satisfaction and cecurite, sc we rest, Sir,
Youres in wayes of Righteousness, &c."
I am aware that the above transaction has been differently recorded by certain historians of the east, and elsewhere; who seem to have inherited the bit- ter enmity of their ancestors to the brave Peter- and much good may their inheritance do them. These declare, that Peter Stuyvesant requested to have the charges against him inquired into, by com- missioners to be appointed for the purpose; and yet, that when such commissioners were appointed, he refused to submit to their examination. In this art- ful account, there is but the. semblance of truth-he did, indeed, most gallantly offer, when that he found a deaf ear was turned to his challenge, to submit his conduct to the rigorous inspection of a court of hon- our-but then he expected to find it an august tribu-
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nal, composed of courteous gentlemen, the governors and nobility of the confederate plantations, and of the province of New-Netherlands ; where he might be tried by his peers, in a manner worthy of his rank and dignity-whereas, let me perish, if they did not send to the Manhattoes two lean-sided hungry pettifoggers, mounted on Narraganset pacers, with saddle-bags under their bottoms, and green satchels under their arms, as though they were about to beat the hoof from one county court to another in search of a law- suit.
The chivalric Peter, as might be expected, took no notice of these cunning varlets; who, with profes- sional industry, fell to prying and sifting about, in quest of ex parte evidence ; perplexing divers simple Indians and old women, with their cross-questioning, until they contradicted and forswore themselves most horribly. Thus having fulfilled their errand to their own satisfaction, they returned to the grand council with their satchels and saddle-bags stuffed full of villanous rumours, apocryphal stories, and out- rageous calumnies,-for all which the great Peter did not care a tobacco-stopper; but, I warrant me, had they attempted to play off the same trick upon William the Testy, he would have treated them both to an aerial gambol on his patent gallows.
The grand council of the east held a very solemn meeting, on the return of their envoys; and after they had pondered a long time on the situation of af- fairs, were upon the point of adjourning without be- ing able to agree upon any thing. At this critical VOL. II. D
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moment, one of those meddlesome, indefatigabl .. spirits, who endeavour to establish a character for patriotism by blowing the bellows of party, until the whole furnace of politics is red-hot with sparks and cinders-and who have just cunning enough to know that there is no time so favourable for getting on the people's backs as when they are in a state of turmoil, and attending to every body's business but their own -this aspiring imp of faction, who was called a great politician, because he had secured a seat in council by calumniating all his opponents-he, I say, con- ceived this a fit opportunity to strike a blow that should secure his popularity among his constituents who lived on the borders of Nieuw-Nederlandt, and were the greatest poachers in Christendom, except- ing the Scotch border nobles. Like a second Peter the Hermit, therefore, he stood forth and preached up a crusade against Peter Stuyvesant, and his de- voted city.
He made a speech which lasted six hours, accord- ing to the ancient custom in these parts, in which he represented the Dutch as a race of impious heretics, who neither believed in witchcraft, nor the sovereign virtues of horse-shoes-who left their country for the lucre of gain, not like themselves, for the enjoy- ment of liberty of conscience-who, in short, were a race of mere cannibals and anthropophagi, inasmuch as they never eat cod-fish on Saturday, devoured swine's flesh without molasses, and held pumpkins in utter contempt.
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This speechi had the desired effect, for the coun- cil, being awakened by the sergeant-at-arms, rubbed their eyes, and declared that it was just and politic to declare instant war against these unchristian anti pumpkinites. But it was necessary that the people at large should first be prepared for this measure ; and for this purpose the arguments of the orator were preached from the pulpit for several Sundays subsequent, and earnestly recommended to the con- sideration of every good Christian, who professed, as well as practised the doctrines of meekness, charity, and the forgiveness of injuries. This is the first time we hear of the " drum ecclesiastic" beating up for political recruits in our country ; and it proved of such signal efficacy, that it has since been called into frequent service throughout our Union. A cunning politician is often found skulking under the clerical robe, with an outside all religion, and an inside all political rancour. Things spiritual and things tem- poral are strangely jumbled together, like poisons and antidotes on an apothecary's shelf; and instead of a devout sermon, the simple church-going folk have often a political pamphlet thrust down their throats, labelled with a pious text from Scripture.
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CHAPTER V.
How the New-Amsterdammers became great in arms and of the direful catastrophe of a mighty army- together with Peter Stuyvesant's measures to fortify the city-and how he was the original founder of the Battery.
Bur, notwithstanding that the grand council, as I have already shown, were amazingly discreet in their proceedings respecting the New. Netherlands, and conducted the whole with almost as much silence and mystery as does the sage British cabinet one of its ill-starred secret expeditions-yet did the ever- watchful Peter receive as full and accurate informa- tion of every movement as does the court of France of all the notable enterprises I have mentioned. He accordingly sat himself to work; to render the machi- nations of his bitter adversaries abortive.
I know that many will censure the precipitation of this stout-hearted old governor, in that he hurried into the expenses of fortification, without ascertain- ing whether they were necessary, by prudently wait- ing until the enemy was at the door. But they should recollect that Peter Stuyvesant had not the benefit of an insight into the modern arcana of politics, and was strangely bigoted to certain obsolete maxims of the old school ; among which he firmly believed, that to render a country respected abroad, it was neces
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sary to make it formidable at home-and that a na- tion should place its reliance for peace and security more upon its own strength, than on the justice or good-will of its neighbours. He proceeded, there fore, with all diligence, to put the province and me tropolis in a strong posture of defence.
Among the few remnants of ingenious inventions which remained from the days of William the Testy, were those impregnable bulwarks of public safety, militia laws ; by which the inhabitants were obliged to turn out twice a year, with such military equip- ments-as it pleased God ; and were put under the command of very valiant tailors, and man-milliners, who though on ordinary occasions the meekest, pip- pin-hearted little men in the world, were very devils at parades and courts-martial, when they had cocked hats on their heads, and swords by their sides, Un-
der the instructions of these periodical warriors, the gallant train-bands made marvellous proficiency in the mystery of gunpowder. They were taught to face to the right, to wheel to the left, to snap off empty fire-locks without winking, to turn a corner without any great uproar or irregularity, and to march through sun and rain from one end of the town to the other without flinching-until in the end they became so valorous, that they fired off blank cartridges, without so much as turning away their heads-could hear the largest field-piece discharged, without stopping their ears, or falling into much con- fusion-and would even go through all the fatigues
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and perils of a summer day's parade, without having their ranks much thinned by desertion !
True it is, the genius of this truly pacific people was so little given to war, that during the intervals which occurred between field days, they generally contrived to forget all the military tuition they had received ; so that when they reappeared on parade, they scarcely knew the butt-end of the musket from the muzzle, and invariably mistook the right shoulder for the left-a mistake which, however, was soon obviated by chalking their left arms. But whatever might be their blunders and awkwardness, the saga cious Kieft declared them to be of but little impor tance-since, as he judiciously observed, one cam- paign would be of more instruction to them than hundred parades ; for though two-thirds of them might be food for powder, yet such of the other third as did not run away would become most expe- rienced veterans.
The great Stuyvesant had no particular veneration for the ingenious experiments and institutions of his shrewd predecessor, and among other things held the militia system in very considerable contempt, which he was often heard to call in joke-for he was some- times fond of a joke-governor Kieft's broken reed. As, however, the present emergency was pressing, he was obliged to avail himself of such means of defence as were next at hand, and accordingly appointed a general inspection and parade of the train-bands. But oh ! Mars and Bellona, and all ye other powers of war, both great and small, what a turning out was
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here !- Here came men without officers, and officers without men-long fowling-pieces, and short blun- derbusses-muskets of all sorts and sizes, some with- out bayonets, others without locks, others without stocks, and many without either lock, stock, or barrel -cartridge-boxes, shot-belts, powder-horns, swords, hatchets, snicker-snees, crow-bars, and broomsticks, all mingled higgledy piggledy-like one of our con- tinental armies at the breaking out of the revolution,
This sudden transformation of a pacific community into a band of warriors, is doubtless what is meant, in modern days, by "putting a nation in armour," and " fixing it in an attitude"-in which armour and attitude it makes as martial a figure, and as likely to acquit itself with as much prowess, as the renowned Sancho Panza, when suddenly equipped to defend his island of Barataria.
The sturdy Peter eyed this ragged regiment with some such rueful aspect as a man would eye the devil ; but knowing, like a wise man, that all he had to do was to make the best out of a bad bargain, hc determined to give his heroes a seasoning. Having, therefore, drilled them through the manual exercise over and over again, he ordered the fifes to strike up a quick march, and trudged his sturdy troops back- wards and forwards about the streets of New-Am- sterdam, and the fields adjacent, until their short legs ached, and their fat sides sweated again. But this was not all ; the martial spirit of the old gov- ernor caught fire from the sprightly music of the fife,
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