USA > Indiana > Monroe County > The new purchase : or, seven and a half years in the Far West > Part 2
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JACOBUS, BRIG. GEN'L., GEN'L. JACOB LOWE.
JAMES JIMMY BEVERLY W. JAMES,
School Teacher.
JOSEY JACKSON THE POSTMASTER, JAMES ALLISON, P. M.
at Spencer.
KITTY, AUNT, with us, aged 84." (In Brooklyn, 1855.) MRS MARY ANN KET-
MRS. HALL's aunt, "lives
KETCHUM, PEGGY ("Mrs. Compton") CHEM who thought "a piano was as far afore a fiddle as a fiddle is afore a jusharp."
LIEBUG, MENDAX, LEE.
LEATHERLUNG, EOLUS, JOSEPH BERRY, Preacher.
LOBELIA, . JOSEPH BERRY, Preacher. REV. MAYFIELD, Cumber-
MENNIWATER, REV.,
land Presbyterian.
1
XV
KEY TO CHARACTERS
"MERCATOR," pp. 13-14 Vol. I, DELANY R. ECKLES (probably).
MERRY, REV., PROF. BAYNARD R. HALL.
NOVUS, THE REV. REMARKABLE, REV. I. STRANGE, OR REV. JAS. ARMSTRONG.
"NEVY," THE "DOCTOR'S NEVY"
JAMES MAXWELL, nephew of Dr. David H. Maxwell, who was a medical student under Dr. Maxwell. He afterwards lived at Grand Gulph, Miss.
PARSONS, REV., REV. WILLIAM MARTIN,
Chap. X.
PAUNCH, BISHOP, JOHN HENDERSON, "Uncle
Johny."
PILLBOX, PROF., DR. JOSLIN, OR JOCELYN, 1
of Spencer.
RAPID, WILLIAM,
JAMES BATTERTON.
REDWHITE, MR., . JOHN CONNER, Indian
Trader and Agent.
ROBINSON, TOM (the chopper) THOMAS ROBINSON, of Owen County, Indiana.
ROWDY SCHOOL MASTER,
MR. MILLS, who taught
school south of Woodville, in the Ketchem neighborhood, and had himself reported as drowned in Lost River, in Orange county.
SYLVAN, DR., DR. DAVID H. MAXWELL. ALBERT LITTRELL.
SECOND FIDDLER,
SEYMOUR, UNCLE JOHN,
UNCLE JOHN HOLMES, he died at age of 80, at Hanover, Indiana. MR. DARRAH MAYER,
"SOLOMON RAPID,"
Pittsburgh, ,Pennsylvania. Commonly known as JIM
SPRIGHTLY, REV. ELDER,
BATTERTON or SAGE BATTERTON. REV. WILLIAM ARMSTRONG. THOMAS HOLMES.
SEYMOUR, THOMAS,
SCRAPE, DAN,
STRANGE, ELDER,
STANLEY, NED,
SHRUB, BISHOP,
. COL. SAM'L CRAVENS. REV. JOHN NEVENS. JAMES BORLAND. .REV. GEORGE BUSH, of Brooklyn, formerly of Indianapolis, then became a Swedenborgian minister.
THORNTREE,
HAMILTON STOCKWELL OR LEROY GREGORY.
WOOLLEY, BEN,
NOBLE BAKER.
SMITH, MR.,
-
xvi
KEY TO CHARACTERS
WILMER, COL., . GEN. JOHN MCCALLA, of Washington City, and of Lexington, Ky.
"WHACKUM,"-School teacher, SHIELDS.
WESTLAND, MAJ. BILLY, WILLIAM ALEXANDER, brother-in-law of Dr. D. H. Maxwell.
YOUNG DOCTOR, PARIS C. DUNNING, who splashed across White River to escape the Indians who were avenging the dese- cration of Chief Redfire's grave, later ·elected Lieut. Gov. and became Governor of the States, 1848-49.
UNCLE TOMMY,
brother of John Holmes, (Uncle 'John Seymour'). Uncle Tom- my died in Michigan, aged 86.
Places.
ASHFORD SETTLEMENT, .ASHBAUGH SETTLEMENT. BIG RACCOON.
BIG POSSUM CREEK,
CAVE, THE TRUIT'S CAVE, later called Mayfield's Cave, six miles west of Bloomington.
GLENVILLE, "two or three miles above" Gosport. Mr. Hall in his letters to Mr. Nunemacher, his second publish- er in New Albany, says the Glenville settlement was "in Monroe county about three miles from Gosport." In this he was in error as the Glenville settlement is known to be in Owen county about three and a half miles north of Gosport on the west side of White river. See Note p. 224.
GUZZLETON, GOSPORT.
MOXVILLE, MARTINSVILLE.
NUT CREEK, BIG WALNUT.
SHINING RIVER, OR "THE SHINEY," WHITE RIVER.
SLIPPERY RUN, EEL RIVER.
SPICEBURGH, SPENCER.
SPROUTSBURGH,
LAFAYETTE.
SUGARTOWN, .CRAWFORDSVILLE.
TIMBEROPOLIS,
INDIANAPOLIS.
TIPPECANOE,
BATTLE GROUND.
WELDEN SETTLEMENT,
PAYNE SETTLEMENT, west
WOODVILLE,
of Gosport. BLOOMINGTON, the site of an Indian wigwam village.
-
PREFACE.
BEFORE my friend, ROBERT CARLTON, Esq., left,* he handed me the MS. of "THE NEW PURCHASE," with a request to get it published: in which case I promised to write the Preface. The best Preface will be, perhaps, a part of our conversation at the time :
" -- - But, Robert, I cannot call the book a History."
"Why not, Charles ?"
"It contains Fiction."
"Granted : but is that not the case with other Histories ?"
"To some extent: yet your Fictions will be taken for Truths, . and your Truths for Fictions."
"Maybe so-yet that sometimes happens with other Histories."
"Well, what shall I say, Robert?"
"Oh! say what you know is the fact :- that the substratum is Truth; nay, that the Truth is eight parts out of ten, the Fiction only two :- that the Fiction is mainly in the colouring and shading and perspective, in embodying the Genus Abstract in the Indi- vidual Concrete; in the aggregation and concentration of events, acts, actors, like-let us see-like flowers culled in many places and bound in one bouquet :- that the Chronology of the whole and the parts is in need of some rectification, and so on."
"May I not say, however, that places, persons, things, &c. are essentially as you found them?"
"Well, Charles, I do not know that it is important. Let the .
* Took Yankee leave.
xvii
1
xviii
PREFACE
book pass for what it is worth: if taken for History, it will be thought I had a somewhat remarkable experience, if for Fiction, that I have tolerable Invention; and then my scull will be in the market-for the bookseller's in my lifetime,-and the Phrenolo- gists afterwards. And yet, on second thought, you may say, that had I not told, sometimes, less than the truth, the undiminished Truth would have seemed more like Fiction than ever."
"Robert, may I not alter or suppress"-
"No-Charles-no :- I know your modesty and timidity. But let the blame of dragging you forward be on me. As Editor you may correct grammar, rhetoric, and so on-but do not meddle with the text. If necessary, you may add notes."
"Well, what shall I call or name the book?" -
"I can give a title-but it is as long as your arm :- 'Where- abouts? or Seven and a Half Years in a New Purchase of the Far West; being a Poetic Dream at Sun Rise, with a Prosaic Reflection at Sun Set-a Novel-History, and a Historic-Novel, with'"-
"Stop! stop !- Robert, that will never do. Suppose we call it simply 'The New Purchase, or Seven and a Half Years in the Far West : by Robert Carlton, Esq'?"
"That will do; with a Latin sentence or two"-
"The Latin age is past ; people read now by intuition; it will hurt the sale in warm weather; and, in the winter the days are too short to be wasted in puzzling out meanings."
"Still, Charles, let us have in a little scrap; for instance-alter et idem."
"Oh! Robert-yet if you do not care I do not; it shall go in." "And suppose you add, per multas aditum, &c .? "
PREFACE
xix
"That would be honest; but folks do not want to be got at, and you must not put them on guard: if all readers were in- genuous, and wished to be profited as well as entertained"-
"Ah! dear Charles, let us hope enough of the proper sort may be found to reward a publisher."
"Yes, dear Robert, but perhaps even such may say, after reading the book, they are disappointed and wish to have their money back."
"Oh! that would be very unpleasant, indeed! Do you think that might happen, Charles ?"
"I hope not; but what if the honest and ingenuous are disappointed ?"
"Why, that is a thing to be considered-you have taken'me unawares-let us see-why, really ;- and yet, to be honest and candid myself, if the good, and the honest, and the frank-hearted, all say, after reading and understanding my book, that they are very sorry I ever wrote it."
"You appeal then, dear Robert, to the good, the ingenuous, the . merry, and even-the religious ?"
"I do."
"Then to such, if we can find a publisher, you shall go."
CHARLES CLARENCE.
Somwhersburgh, 1843.
-
1
CONTENTS
JOURNEY. CHAPTER I.
Reasons of some for going West, prosaic; of others, poetic: the latter the Author's .... Day dreaming .... Injurious to Dilworth's spelling- book .... how dispelled .... What was hoped in early manhood .... Prepared
I
CHAPTER II.
How long once a journey to Pittsburg .... Antiquated one wheeled car .... Stage-office, imposition, who could it be ?.... Stages, wore no boots .... Exercise in Etymology .... Mysterious disappearance .... Believing spirit .... How to fill a stage with tiers .... Mr. Brown enters .... Dialogue between Foote and Fut .... Democrats made .... Solo talker, and wonderful history .... Curious effect of nodding .... Making up .... Interesting scene at washing faces .... A dis- covery .... Apology.
3
CHAPTER III.
A horn .... What to do with a new bonnet .... Space for fut, and other articles .... Introductions .... Mr. C., and his reasons for We-ing, &c ..... Mr. Smith .... Mr. Brown, and his ignorance .... Col. Wil- mar .... haracter .... Gen. Winchester .... River Raisin .... Ad- ventures .... Story interrupted .... What Jacob and little Peggy could do .... Mr. Brown repairing breach of a battering ram .... Wilmar's narrative .... Charles Clarence, how, he went to Niagara, what he was going to Kentucky after, recommended to ladies. .... Sudden flash .... Lancaster .... Caoutchouc stages .... Reader yawns
9
CHAPTER IV.
How to set out .... Ribbon of fice .... Slower .... Growling .... Why ended .... Very interesting talk .... Answers .... Consequences .... Rrefreshments .... Evil spirits .... Danger of pocket pistols .... Effect of music on an extra driver, his ballad .... Earthquake .... Geometrical .... Twelve and a half cents worth of sleep .... Sleep by the job .... Sleep off hand .... Exclamation
15
CHAPTER V.
Departure from .... What we have said, though we should not .... Ascent .... Usual feat .... Waiting .... Bonnet in and out .... Not. afraid of robbers at a distance .... Still going up .... Reflections up there .... Dreams .... Interruption .... Descent .... Peril .... Cau- tion and effect of it .... How to hold up a stage .... View over ear- tips .... Look! look !.... What is it ?.... Data for calculation .... Dreadful fall !.... Not ready either .... Why .... Described as a model
xxi
18
xxii
CONTENTS
CHAPTER VI.
Greek imitated .... Col. Wilmar's adventure .... Mr. Smith's remark, and interesting narrative .... Miss Wilmar begs Clarence to tell something .... His compliance .... And throat nearly cut .... Ex- clamation .... Story resumed. Cool bed .... Bad words .... Clar- ence ends by beginning, and is prevented .... A deer .... Conse- quences .... Wonderful adventure at night by Mr. and Mrs. C ..... Gallant action .... A long skip .... owing to the reader's impatience 24
PITTSBURG.
CHAPTER VII.
Iron age and musical hexameters .... Milton's devils did not load scien- tifically .... Scenes when the wind blows .... Folly of rash judg- ment .... Beautiful women .... What takes from adds to .... ... . Colebs .... Tribute to Mr. Smith.
35
VOYAGE CHAPTER VIII.
Spit-fire .... Ark .... How built .... Captain .... His affection. . . . All aboard .... Poetical burst .... Rude interruption .... Curious result of "the slue." .. Farewell !.... An apostrophe .... Wilmar's pro- position .... Meeting constituted. . . . The chair .... Brown not elected .... Debate .... Officers .... Orders .... Stores and furniture .... Fixing .... A tie .... Figurative grammar .... Dangers .... Sleep- on system .... Whistling against .... A fix .... Expisode during an embargo .... Untying .... Planter ..... Snag .. ... Sawyer ..... Curious male .... Slick feller .... Palinurus .... Beats .... Sings, and leaps ... Grand flotilla .... Superior to .... Romance .... Old fashioned shower .... Witchery .... Echo and Muses .... Indignant lament .... Seventh day .... Hard spelling .... "Halloo!" .... Going over an old lesson .... Liberal proposal to reader .... Broke up .... Farewell ...
36
THE SEARCHING
CHAPTER IX.
A question .... no reply .... First lessons .... Travelling in Autumn and Spring .... Why, and how .... Instincts of Hoosiers and Corn- crackers, &c ..... First night .... The fan .... Second night .... A rite-dite !.... Poetry cooling .. A description and inventory .... Poetic justice for a ghost .... Shifting .... Talk between a woman and a lady .... Two things done at once .... Bending according to nature .... Shorter by position .... The "set-up" performed .... Half-and-half .... Answer to Mr. Nice .... Ditto to Miss .... Call- ing names
49
CHAPTER X.
Agrees with the reader .... Whither .... Great peril .... Vengeance .... Two sorts of oases .... Reception ..... Why the children were mod- est .... Humanities .... Tribute to the Clergy .... No pay taken .... Episode about 50 cents .... A very novel and useful society proposed .... Contrast between preaching fortunately interrupted at Bishop Baltimore's 55
CHAPTER XI.
Woodville capital of New Purchase .... A halt .... Strange animals .... Dr. Sylvan .... Doubt about class .... Dress and undress .... Sweat
-
CONTENTS xxiii
rag .... Adroit manipulations .... Governor .... Leaden casket .... Aborigines .... Arrows .... Grand buildings .... Wizard's box- how not to get in .... Churches .... Steeple saints .... Household churches .... Elocution .... Scenes .... Inscription .... Anecdotes .... "who keeps house?" .... "Put on the pat," .... Taverns .... Private houses .... Dr. Sylvan's .... Red fire .... Doctor as a hunter .... House proper and L .... Lamp-lighters .... Expostulation .... Mys- terious perforations in a wall .... "O fye" retaliated ... . Hydrau- lics .... Diplomas .... A regret .... Hint to Uncle Sam .... Hark .... 61
CHAPTER XII.
Solemn league broken .... Generosity .... Start again .... First snake story .... Path to Glenville .... Legislative road .... Stumps .... Straddling .... Exercises of taste and fancy .... Auxiliaries .... whither they do not go .... Curious illumination of roads .... Corner tree .... Enormous Serpent coiled .... Mr. C. rushes for- ward in a phrenzy and seizes it by the tail .... Screeching .... Es- capes unhurt .... Third snake hit on the tail, but the author does not venture to seize .... Error detected in a mathematical axiom .... Neighbourhood roads-in actué-in posse .... Wide bottom- Sun caught at last in an out of the way place-poetry reviving .... Apparition of a hamadryad-poetry dying again .... Difference between halloa ! and "holler !" .... Elocutional lesson gratis to all who buy the book .... Perspicuous directions to Glenville .... Poetry of the whale .... Getting into bed a mystery-how Mrs. Major Billy Westland did-and our "Jess" .... Good night ...... 72
THE FINDING CHAPTER XIII.
What the Brushwoods thought .... Straight directions .. .. Thrilling accident .... great snortings .... A rational conjecture-an abrupt ending .... Suburbs .... slipping down-uproar-looking out-what Mr. C. and his consort tumbled into .... Dear reader -hugged over .... Tenderness .... Thanksgiving 81
1
FIRST YEAR CHAPTER XIV.
In the woods .... Reader overcome by entreaties, and introduced to the Settlement .... Terms explained-origin of "absquatulate" and cognates .... What names a Settlement .... Patriarchal cabin-Mr. Hillsbury's-Tannery-Squatteree of a Leatherstocking .... Other Settlements .... Ranges .... Praises of semi-wild boars .... S. East of Glenville-West-N. East .... Timberopolis-seat of two evils -Ins and Outs .... Map-towns-Snail shell towns .... Compressi- bility of elastic families .... History of the Seymours .... Mr. Carl- ton's courtship .... Why here-and wider awake !.... Disagreeable visitor-what the woman did-what Mr. C. did with the end of a tail-fair offer for a box of rosin !.... Enormous expense .... Cabin architecture-Rough-Scotched-Double-Composite, &c. &c ..... Way to hang a door, and have it eaten off-Gliding to next chapter
1
84
CHAPTER XV.
Thrifty housewives-289 feet .... Puncheoned area-grand divisions -- sub-dividings ..... Adroitness Imaginary lines ..... Potato ..
1
xxiv
CONTENTS
Carlton's study .... Kitchen proper and improper .... Plunder .... History of a waiter and a cake of sugar .... Great peril of Mrs. Seymour-remarkable escape of something else .... the old pier- glass-what mistaken for-packed away-alas ! 94
CHAPTER XVI.
Two arts learned .... Grinding and kindred topics .... Gracian bark .... Curious round thing described .... Old Dick named-perpetual motion, and e pluribus unum .... Instrument of torture recom- mended for the spread of the gospel .... New mode of calculat- ing the contents of a circular area-another last word-puncheons ! .... Old Dick trots up-his age-apprenticeship, and how stunted, &c. &c ..... His practical jokes moral character-how many he would carry-how steered, &c ..... His idosyncracy .... Blackboard -brass band-Hogarth
99
CHAPTER XVII.
A secret whispered .... Making believe .... Scene on meeting a curious person-his incredulity and surprise .... How skill is acquired .... Squirrel killed by concussion .... Why Western folks use rifles- what was done at the Tannery .... Captivating offer to the reader .... The author refuses "to bore" with a rifle .... Sequel contains the story of something in behalf of the Temperance Society, which commenced will be read through by all cold watermen and members of the Peace Society .... Gathering quadrupeds. ... 105
CHAPTER XVIII.
Meetings-little and big .... Riding twice .... Dick's cargo-advantage of heavy loads .... How "critturs" are hung-and how they dance .... Advertisements ...... Mistakes of some missionaries ...... Character of missionaries-hardships-zeal-poverty, &c ..... "Half a loaf"-applied ecclesiastically .... Salaries-Paul-Luke .... Cruel logic .... Recommendation to some at ease in Zion .... Something very wet .... Apropos ! of buckskin breeches .... Inci- dents-Glenville's-Leatherstocking's-Peggy's panthers-Mission- ary's bears .... Cries .... Danger and escape , II7
CHAPTER XIX. - A Bishop's whisper .... The salam .... Talk about "'mense heap of woods, &c." .... Breaking ice-freezing and thawing .... Copy of remarkable writing .... Giving the "invite" .... Episode about a bride elect and her friends-Mr. Ashmore and his "idees"-dia- logues about the earth-the sun-two pennies .... Susan rose of wilderness-lovers .... Day arrives-Glenville folks, in several di- visions, march .... Old Dick and a hurricane-defence of his non- sense .... Place reached-a change-dead calm-a descent .... Mrs. Ashford at the foot of a ladder-what was seen-how to hook a women .... Solemnization .... Terror-with an appendix .... Put- ting out and chasing .... Noon-and ferment .... Holiday in a clearing .... Old Dick can't stand it any longer .... What happened to three chaps on his back .... Story telling-"tarrifying a ba'r" -"gobbling a turkey,"-snake affair-Uncle Tommy's long story Dinner-"eating ' twice" .... Inversion of matrimonial chord-a short prayer .... Amazing pot pie !.... Fried leather !- other deli- cacies .... Natural curiosity Hint taken .... Volunteers .... Pulling up and stopping a frolic
I30
1
1.
CONTENTS
XXV
CHAPTER XX.
Occupation-merry time-treadles versus pedals .... closet-shuttle --- Flute and Fiddle-Greek and Latin-"Tyture tu pat" .... Hebrew .... Evenings and crackings .... Family lamp .... Axe-craft-Tom Robinson .... Fire making-back log-puffs and jumping back- hipping a log-puncheons wriggling .... Fire-bursting out-com- bustion not supported by a bladder. of gas .... A tong. ... Bah !. .. Hurraw-aw
157
CHAPTER XXI.
Monotony interrupted by a cow .... Story of the skins .... A deer hunt, in which are introduced two, and the theory of opinion and in- stincts .... Uncle Tommy's cabin, inside, outside and all around, and the way to get water .... Sabbaths .... Neighbour Sturgis .... answer to a crack question .... Description-a pulpit, and how to handle it .... inspiration, suckspiration and expiration .... Awful storm, effect on two bounds .... Logic, cause and effect .... Advan- tage to a preacher of the modern chemical nomenclature .... Happy escape 165
SECOND YEAR
CHAPTER XXII.
Campaign .... candidates .... Grounds of electioneering ....: Consequen- ces of laughing in meeting .... Defences of laughing .... Certificates .. Poor Philip's logic spouted .... Price of Liberty .... Pure Democracy-what boys do .... Stump speeches, action in oratoy ... Isam Greenbriar's cart .... Sam Dreadnought's wagon .... Munificence and meanness of some candidates .... Nobleness of others .... Political baptism no dry joke .... A history called for, and treated in next three chapters
175
CHAPTER XXIII.
Sameness of age .... Born and educated .... Difference between Quaker school and quackery one .... Duff Green .... How to see the World .... Party 50 miles beyond white settlement .... Visit returned, a rich breakfast, and a reflection like Uncle Tommy's .... De gusti- bus non ?.... Encountered; scene between a little and a big man A pet dream; savage propensities .... Peril in Missouri; moral courage-affection of a hunter for a rifle-anxiety .... tenderness .... heroism .... escape .... Rifle lost .... Squatter's hut .... Hospi- tality
18I
CHAPTER XXIV.
Rendezvous .... Bee tree .... Roundabout-abilitudiness ! .... English tourists Biggest tree in the world !.... Bees again .... How to get fruit contrary to a proverb .... How a mighty heart was broken .... What the sun saw after a Millenium !.... Honour-sublimity and littleness 190
CHAPTER XXV.
Return home .... Produce .... Medical recipe .... Out of frying pan .... Episode-what's in our dark forests .. "18 injins-15 wites &c." .... Interlude-a farce between tragedies-encouraging to humble Democrats .... A stock vanishing .... a robber-a lynching, commended to canting infidels and puling moralists .... Prepar-
xxvi
CONTENTS
ing for peril-incident on the way-robbers' retreat-a scene, in, which is shown the efficacy of powder and ball-editors that recommend firing on mcbs and abolishing capital punishments ...
."Well! we might have had better luck!"-and "Well what next?"
193
CHAPTER XXVI.
Hardness of a politician's way .... Directions about eating-brimstone -and so forth .... Hints to Tract Societies .... Benefit of young lawyers consulted .... Rabblerousing intentions of Mr. C .... Nig- gering-off .... Copy book sentence illustrated .... Martyrdom .... How to make candidates work to some useful end .... Our first speech, and whence none before was, and never can be again !.... political balance, recommended to Fence people .... Gratitude for favours not received .... Tempest of Fire! 200
CHAPTER XXVII.
Courteous dialogue. . Post-office-famished mail-diluted news .. Mutual indifference .... Going to office-alarm-wheel-about -- wonderment-and wonderful downfall !.... Dissertation on thing- amies .... Spiceburg-catching a post-master .... Dialogues .... Uncle Sam's Cabinet-a search there-what was buried alive resuscitated .... defence of buyers-and how to circulate a wood- chopper .... Dialogue between Sam and Mr. Johnson .... How to spend a fip .... How to do justice by gulling a man .... Sam and Mr. C. start for home-melancholy interruption-and how Sam used irreverent words .... Gratitude, with an offer to row a man up a certain creek .... Mistake in "katter-korner'd like." 208
CHAPTER XXVIII.
The grave .... Surprised there by the Indians .... Story about Red Fire and two young doctors .... Hunting-shirt Andy .... Remark- able interruption of the story .... Andy's request-puts off-per- forms several parts .... Doubtful gender 221
CHAPTER XXIX.
Miscalculation .... Disappointed .... Dick scampers off and brings back a wonderful little man and another horse .... No. 6 and No. I ... Modus loquendi .... Effect of an "acquotical solution." .. Terror occasioned by "dental surgery and principal molares." Infallible inferences from external symptoms .... Blameable negligence of Mr. C. in not "exhibiting." .... Amazing power of a Republican Legislature .... Journal of the House 229
CHAPTER XXX.
A court constituted .... Difference between "Mister" and "Brother." . Brother Hillsbury-his labours and perils .... Bishop Shrub of Timberopolis .... Mr. Merry .... Decrees .... Expedition .... Coming to a mill-Solitude sweetened, but not with sugar .... "Come, let's have that preaching." &c ..... Mr. Merry prepares . The saint end of a log .... What scratches next to a large saw-and what deserves it .... Mr. M. begins and quits, and be- gins again .... Sudden shot-with its consequences .... Deserted Indian town .... Preaching at Mr. Redwhite's-his history-his wife's, with massacre at Wyoming .... Supper 234
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xxvii
CONTENTS
CHAPTER XXXI.
Sets out alone .. A family in bed in the day time .... Thanks to the reader .... The author seized-at first laughs-exposes hypocrisy -is visited again by Monsheer Tonson .... Serious-yet tells an ancedote of Dr. Sylvan in kicking an enemy off .... Delirious .... Jet black mammoth !.... A frail canoe !.... A visit-bold practice -curious paper-how to say "oohh !" .... Advice .... The author receives an appointment from Legislature-writes to Charles Clarence .... Three ends 249
THIRD YEAR CHAPTER XXXII. Sad event .... A character .... An angel of beauty .... A funeral 255
CHAPTER XXXIII.
Changes .... Speculations .... Separation .... Imitation of Dr. Pillbox ... Surprise of Hoosierina .... Ah! come now .... Parting with an old friend .... Indignant flourish .... Melancholy ending .... Relief for the reader .... Sixteen reasons for an advertisement .... First Piano ever "heern tell of " .... Notes of invitation to soirees .... "Them' are little jumpers !" .... Man of the Woods with a soul .... A respectable lady .... "Encore !" .... A profitable study for certain religious people .... Study for young gentlemen about to marry .... A concentrated Moral 257
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