USA > Indiana > Monroe County > The new purchase : or, seven and a half years in the Far West > Part 3
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CHAPTER XXXIV.
The reader will remember something .... Mr. C., a Trustee and Com- mitteeman .... Surprise .... Kind offer to find a chair and fill it .... Charles Clarence .... Competition .... Mr. Jimmey .... Dia- logues on "cream"-on Algebra .... Offer to black shoes to boot, and cherry bitters .... Mr. Rapid .... Dialogue on learning three or four of the dead languages. Meeting of the Board .... 264
Disappointment .... "Darnations."
CHAPTER XXXV.
Visitation .... Sacred Phrenology and Mesmerism .... Bulls of Bashan and bronchitis .... Amazing effects of a very simple machine .... Difference between Barton Stone and Peter Stone .... Persever- ance .... Power of pressure in conversion .... Pomelling better than switching .... Importance of accuracy in names .... Fanaticism always fatal to morals .... Lawyer Insidias :Cutswell-appearance in full dress .... pinch of snuff performed .... Bishop's prayer against catgut .... A venture 270
CHAPTER XXXVI.
Allheart-a master-a "Lyon"-and recommended to all Blacksmiths, learned and unlearned .... His skill in rifle making .... Mr. C. takes fire and challenges .... Returns to Vulcanus-what his "left eye ketch'd a glimpse of" once .... Curious experiment in optics .... An offer .... A rule of grammar .... A musical blacksmith .... Paganini .... Handling fingers in flute-playing .... A painter .... Rare art .... Worth the. price of the book to portrait-painters .... A chef d'œuvre .... American goddess .... Mr. C. regrets. not hav- ing studied composition .... Cutswell's speech on the "hoss-block !" ... Woodville House
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CONTENTS
CHAPTER XXXVII.
Flying visit .... Fording .... Evil report confirmed .... Dear old politi- cal friends absquatulated .... Desolation .... Farewells .... Bishop Shrub, Uncle John and Mr. C. set out .... First glimpse of the prairie world .... Stopping to hold meeting .... getting into an odd scrape .... Wanting to, and not daring .... Mr. C. laughs, whether the reader does or not .... Led by an abrupt question into a very undignified ending
286
CHAPTER XXXVIII.
Vincennes .... Light and darkness .... Puritanical views dangerous to the religion of the ou ToxNot .... Baleful effects of reading history forbidden by Mother Mystery .... Meeting of Suckers, Pukes, and other natives. ... House of Bishops .... Dialogue on Swearing .... Grave of a Soldier
292
CHAPTER XXXIX.
Going to Ilinois with a Mister .... Patriarchal Sucker .... Arabian Nights .... Preface to an odd talk, during which Uncle John shuffles out .... His unchristian revenge for the razor business .... Solemn league of offence and defence .... Attack on the enemy- how we conquered, and beat ourselves .... A sin to be scourged .... Homeward trail 297
CHAPTER XL.
Razorville .... Aboriginal Egyptian or Greek colony met with .... A non-descript pony described .... The way to drive one .... What's better than to live in clover .... Starting .... The way to follow two trails at once .... Led into it .... advantage of equal reasons .... Echo to the sense .... Getting further in .... Advantage of the precise sort of Phrenology .... Bursting through to an adventure .... Temptation resisted .... Escape from danger .... Old man Staffords .... Getting into and out of it .... Prairie late at night .... Lone Woman .... How two beds were "tuk up." .... Dis- agreement between Uncle John and Mr. C ..... Dialogue in two places at once .... Mr. C. begs for information in fashionable grammar .... Four meals devoured at once among the stars .... Snug 301
CHAPTER XLI.
Change .... Christmas-joy in the morning-a messenger at night .... Woman as she was and should be .... A nobleman .... Homer's. heroes imitated in spite of modern critics. 314
FOURTH YEAR CHAPTER XLII.
Augustan age of the Purchase .... New actor .... Chastisement .... Character .... Uncle Sam .... Big and Little recalled to memory, with a piece of Mr. Carlton's mind .... An opening in 1800, and so forth .... Master arrives .... Sprinkle of boy .... Speech-nat- urally interrupted-resumed .... Fixing .... Growlings .... Liberty and equality .... Compliments .... Dialogue on "trousers," and con- sequence different from the reader's fears .... A Yankee trick .... Getting used to it 319
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CONTENTS
xxix
CHAPTER XLIII.
A favourite doctrine badly understood from theory .... Paper models .The People-universal-general-special-peculiar, &c. &c. .What the special people did for the general people. and what the particular people said and did about it .... The people's people advance .... A Grand Dignity with eight tails !.... Board in ses- sion-his Rowdy Royalty's speech .... Dr. Sylvan's compound .... Why the Conscript Fathers do bullyism naturally and grace- fully .... History struts in new moccasins or buskins, and ends in a hell-a-blow 327
CHAPTER XLIV.
"What now?" .... Girls .... Eleven persons-ten and a half horses .... Contrast .... Ready - mounted -off !.... Screechings ! - flappings Slower-talking-eating .... Slippery river .... "Girls! and all !"- yes .... Dr. Hexagon .... Hey !.... Crossing-forgetting the legs ... Chattering .... "Where's pony?" .... Passage of Nut creek in a new line-dizzy .... Neptune .... Crocket .... Preparing t digress 334
CHAPTER XLV.
Big possum .... "Do you want to see, &c, &c .? " .... Whip !- start !- go-o .... "Well done, &c." .... Amazing effect of praise .... A true Indian trace .... Course by sunshine, yet not by the sun .... Sub- limity .... "Ay! ay! go on!" .... A new road, and new grammars, &c ..... The dry world .... All safe 344
CHAPTER XLVI.
Fresh start .... One young lady .... A number of things told, but not narrated .... Romantic curtain .... What dispelled, and yet formed part of a dream .... Robert Dale Owen and diagrams .... Path to Tippecanoe !.... Picturesque ..... Sproutsburg and Indian .... Blind path .... Getting out the right side of a slough .... Funeral tree! .... First glimpse of the field .... How the author forgets him- self, and turns out only a common man .... Where the dead ?.... What is this? with the squatter's tale .... Tippecanoe descirbed .... Squatter's story of the sentinel .... The departed President .... "Joe Davis," an old story revived-how he died !.... Farewell to . Poetry up to fever heat at last, and breaks out in a battle ... 348 . .
CHAPTER XLVII.
Return to the Doctor's .... Setting out for home .... Detail before a skip, 100 yards wide and more .... plausibility .... circumnaviga- tion .... Skip performed unexpectedly .... Remarkable coincidence in opinion of Aunt Kitty with the reader. .
362
CHAPTER XLVIII. 1
Doubts dissipated .... Dialogue about "bonnit." .... Character of Mr. Carlton .... resolves to imitate the Vicar .... Camp-meeting .... some prosaic poetry .... reasoning and inferences .... Amount of spiritual labour .... Master spirits .... Sprightly .... Novus .... anec- dotes and sermons, which the reader may skip if he can, and go on to the prayer on "moonshine" .... Mizraim Ham and his mellow-drama .... Venerable old warrior, and the way to fire at the Devil .... Mr. Carlton almost knocked down himself !....
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CONTENTS
Terrific fight between two, and the way one made the Devil let go a grip .... The author goes away unconverted himself, but gives a favourable testimony to the efficacy of camp-meetings .... 364
CHAPTER XLIX.
Love and matrimony !... . His "galling" expeditions .... How he was once caught in a trap .... Miss Brown .... Dialogue between Carlton and Glenville-a double compound plot .... Letter to Miss Smythe-letter to Miss Brown's papa .... "What luck?" .... Catas- trophe properly deferred by a Composition on Hunting. .. . Letter-and something else .... "I told you so " A difficulty and a promise
390
FIFTH YEAR. CHAPTER L.
Clarence versus the Commonwealth .... A march and other patent things .... Fortunate times !.... Letter from Clarence to the author -recommended to trustees of levelling schools .... Reminiscences of Clarence's Lectures .... Foreign .... Amazing utility of colleges and churches !.... Take care, pedagogue! A star in the ascendant .... mistake in the nature of the Vox .... Squally .... Tom-cat .... Haw-Buck .... Carlton's head-quarters-why .... Condensation and filtration of talks and dialogues .... Ned Stanley introduced in a "bust," .
397
CHAPTER LI.
Arrival of the Major .... Danger to the State .... Castle-building in- terrupted .... A monster seen .... Large crescit eundo .... A procession through a ou TorNot .... Dead-calm-speech .... Trial in- terrupted by a "hurraw !" .... Major disconcerted .... A proposal- followed by "bust"-ings .... Clarence makes a god speak-thunder on the proper quarter .... Mr. Liebug .... A question and answer
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."Huh! haw," .... Talk, between Ned and Carlton .... Ned in
parlour .... Consequence of administering patent twaddle in edu- cating .... Mr. Brass, Sen., and Prof. Harwood-how settled .... Quietude 406
CHAPTER LII.
Exhibition .... Mr. C. busy .... Fixings .... Loss on shoes .... Signals .... Orchestral .... Blaze .... Exclamations !.... Cow-bell shaken- inaudible fiddles .... Primo .... Secundo .... Triangle .... Speech interrupted-exhibition goes on .... Contrast in seven particulars between young men and young gentlemen, with threat of farther infliction .... Two young men .... Fixed and wandering stars .... A heavy bet on one side. 415
CHAPTER LIII.
How to spend a vacation in the Purchase .... An abstract embodied and seen marching by the author !.... Grand party to explore a cave-invitations-ready-starting-dignity let down .... Solemn advice to persons, made up nicely by milliners and other artists .... Things growing bigger, and why .... Mrs. Hunter's directions .... Found .... Domore's report .... Refusals .... Why Polly wouldn't, although Peggy would .... Backing one another before the rest .... What was not seen .... Squall prevented .... "Hark!
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CONTENTS
XXX1
what's that?" .... Going down deeper, and coming back quicker Retreat .... Domore's policy-his apology .... What came down-quick writing .... What retarded civilization a whole year. 428
CHAPTER LIV.
Learning to spell CHAPTER LV. . 441
Married at last .... Incipient refinement-consequences .... Grand affair determined on-why-how-effect .... The time-room-company -misgivings .... "Shiver-ree" .... Inside versus Outside .... Per- formers-human, inhuman, and 'superhuman .... Something squealy in a parlor .... True hog superior to all others .... Piggy- back .... Scalp taken .... Danger-"knock 'em down!" .... Rescue ... Difference between Hoosier-mobs and scum-mobs .... Orpheus 442 .
SIXTH YEAR
CHAPTER LVI.
How to oversee .... White crow .... A committee .... A party .... Curi- ous cloud-sneer away !.... Horseback. ... Churches .... Council of Nice .... Another party .... The Great-North-American-Re- publican-Horsefly !.... Mrs. Trollope wanted .... Scene-sticking on-sticking to it-wading out .... Alone .... Dreams .... Set over .. Wilderness .... Dialogues with Kate .... Mrs. King .... Some- thing nice to eat .... Off again .... Lost-like .... Praise. 451
1 CHAPTER LVII.
A petition .... What Ned and Domore did .... Insidias Cutswell, Esq., ad hoosierandum 463
CHAPTER LVIII.
Wild pigeons .... Ned's opinion of shot-guns .... They make their own shot .... Accidents .... Alarm and excitement .... A question evaded .. A bag and string. ... Puzzled .... Enlightened .... Belittled. ... . Dialogues, and execration of shot-guns .... Melancholy. 466
CHAPTER LIX
The King of Terror ...
The dying one .... The two coffins .... Funeral
train .... Reader !
475
SEVENTH YEAR.
CHAPTER LX.
Something new and prodigious !.... Mystic letters-branding .... Hard riding-blotted-puffs !- (nervous)-a conversation .... Suspi- cious .... Resolved on a believing spirit .... Leaky .... Faces and consciences .... Cow-bells-crotch of a tree-cows and procession .... Episodial about biggest college .... Lights-omens .... Dreams not accounted for 477
CHAPTER LXI. Particular introduction .... History and character .... Story about a donkey .... How to roll up and down at once .... Fiction acknowl- edged 486
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CONTENTS
CHAPTER LXII.
Mystery' defended .... Conjectures .... How to use professors .... What Professor Spunk would have done .... (Note) .... A letter Several dialogues and two or three scenes .. A resignation .. .. 488
Refreshments in the next' chapter. .
CHAPTER LXIII.
The Guzzleton barbecue .... Preface .... Description-plateau-table .... seats-arcade-kitchen-curious iron-artillery-processions- flags-music-"the set-up" performed .... Uses of a barbecue, and talks about cost .... Domore and others clenching rifles .... A deep sigh 496
CHAPTER LXIV.
Verification .... Preface to thrilling scenes .... "Hark-the bell". The celebrated Saturday's show .... Court of appeals and repeals .... Speeches, talks, and interruptions .... Something excessively tender and touching .... Terror-knife drawn-assassination- wrath-big words-voting-dividing and taking sides .... Grand Jury .... Ecclesiastical Court .... Body Guard. 502
CONCLUDING SIX MONTHS CHAPTER LXV.
Ha! I see! I see !.... Reader calls out three times .... Mr. C. comes back .... Firm of Glenville & Carlton .... Some very deep water .... Literary topics resumed .... Board met .... Deeply interest- ing .... A long speech that did nothing, and a short one that did all things .... Polyphemus and his two meals .... Curtain falls .... 51I
CHAPTER LXVI.
Farewells .... A church full .... A house empty .... A rainy morning .... Domore and Ned .. * * * * * Pinnacle of a mountain ....
Soliloquy .. . . * A lesson 519
HAND HELD BY INDIANS
Miami
Indian
RANDOLPH
Winchester
WAYNE NEW PURCHASE
Centerville
1818
FRANKLIN
Boonville
SULLIVAN
MONROE Bloomington
RIPLEY Verfallles
Carlisle
JENNINGS Verhan
LAWRENCE Palestine
JACKSON Brownstown
SWITZER LANO Verax
@Liverpool
Vincennes
WASHINGTON · Salem
ORANGE. Phall
Porter sville
Petersburg
CLARK Charleston
Princeton GIBSON
PIKE
DUBOIS
CRAWFORD
HARRISON Corydon
Black box
VAMOERI BURG Evansville!
WARRICK
PERRY
SPENCER
POSEY
Darlington
Ro
Rockport
MAP OF NEW PURCHASE 1818
DEARBORN
Lawrenceburg
DA VIE SS
KNOX
JEFFERSON Madison
VIGO Terre Haute
Reservation
THE NEW PURCHASE.
CHAPTER I. THE JOURNEY. "Westward, ho!"
THE ordinary causes of seeking new homes in the West are well known. There, it is sometimes expected, a broken fortune may be repaired, or one here too narrow, become, by change of circumstances, ample enough for a growing family, or a larger ambition. Indolence leads some thither, a distaste of conventional trammels others ; while not a few hope to find a theatre, where small talents and learning may figure to better advantage.
But some are led away to the West by poetical inducements. To persons of tender sensibilities and ardent enthusiasm, that is a land of beautiful visions ; and its gorgeous clouds, like drapery around the golden sunsets, are a curtain veiling other and more distant glories. Such persons are not insensible to worldly ad- vantages, yet they abandon not the East from the love of gain. They are rather evoked and charmed away by a potent, if an imaginary spirit, resident in that world of hoary wilds. From the prairie spreading its grassy and flowery plains to meet the dim horizon, from the river rolling a flood across half a continent, from the forest dark and venerable with the growth of many cen- turies, come, with every passing cloud and wind, the words of resistless invitation; till the enchanted, concealing the true causes, or pretending others, depart for the West. They are weary of a prosaic life; they go to find a poetic one.
To much of this day-dreaming spirit is the world indebted for the author's sojourn of seven and a half years in a part of what was, at the time of this journey, the FAR WEST. In early boyhood,
I
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THE JOURNEY
Mr. Carlton was no ordinary dreamer : nay, in the sunshine, as by moonlight, shadows of branching antlers and flint-headed arrows caused many a darkness in his path, as visionary deer bounded away before the visionary hunter. At school a boy of kindred soul occupied the adjacent seat; and this boy's father had left him, as was then believed, countless acres of rough mountains and woods undesecrated by civilized feet. How far away this sylvan territory may have been, was never asked, but it was near enough and easy of access to day-dreamers; for we had actually devised a plan to steal off secretly at some favourable moment and find a joyous life in that forest elysium. Before the external eye lay, indeed, Dilworth, his columns of spelling in dreadful array of single, double, and treble files, surrounded by dog-ears curling up from the four corners of the dirt-stained page; but the inner eye saw them not. And if our lips moved, it was not to call over the names of the detested words, no, it was in mysterious whispers :- we were wrapt in a vision, and talked of bark huts and bows and arrows-ay, we were setting dead-falls and snares, and arranging the most feasible plans for the woods and the mountains.
Such talks would, indeed, begin, and for a while, continue so like the inarticulate buzz and hum of an old-fashioned school-boy "getting by heart," as to awaken no suspicion in Master Strap. As enthusiasm, however, kindled, tones, became better defined and words more and more articulate. Then ensued, first a very ominous and death-like stillness in all parts of the school-room except ours, and then-the sudden touch of a wand came that broke a deep spell, and alas ! alas ! awoke us to our spelling! Poor children ! we cried then for pain and disappointment! The hour came when we shed more bitter tears at sorer disappointments, and in a severer school! Even as I write there is a thrill of boyhood in my soul, and in despite of philosophy tears are trembling in my eyes ;- as if the man wept for the crushed hopes of the boy!
Experience may curb our yearning towards the earth, yet even amidst the longings after immortality and the things that eye hath not seen, there do remain hungerings and thirstings after a possi- ble and more perfect mundane state. At the dawn, therefore, of manhood Mr. Carlton still hoped to meet in the Far West visions
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THE JOURNEY
embodied although pictured now in softer lights and graver colours. Shortly, then, after our marriage in the first quarter of the present century, after the honey-moon, indeed, but still within the "love and cottage" period, Mrs. Carlton was persuaded to exchange the tasteless and crowded solitude of Philadelphia for the entrancing and real loneliness of the wilds, and the promenade of dead brick for the living carpet of the natural meadow.
Having no immoveables, and our moveables being easily trans- muted into baggage, preparation was speedily made; and then · hands were grasped and cheeks kissed, alas! for a long adieu :- for when we returned with sober views and chastened spirits, these, our first and best loved friends, were sought, but "they were not."
4
CHAPTER II.
"Who goes there ?- A friend."
FROM Philadelphia to Pittsburgh was formerly a journey of days. Hence, to avoid travelling on the Sabbath it was arranged by us to set out at three o'clock A. M., on Monday. A porter, . however, of the stage-office aroused us at one o'clock; when, hurrying on our garments, we were speedily following our baggage trundled by the man, in that most capacious of one-wheeled car- riages-an antiquated wheel-barrow.
Arrived at the office, then kept by the Tomlinsons, the agent affected to consider me and my wife as only one person, and hence while I paid for two seats, he forced me to pay for all my wife's baggage as extra ;- an imposition only submitted to, because in running my eye over the names booked as passengers, while the vexatious record of the baggage was making, travelling associates were seen written there who were too delightful to be lost for a trifle. These names were Colonel Wilmar of Kentucky and his cousin, Miss Wilmar, of Philadelphia. In addition were three strange names booked for Pittsburgh, a Mr. Smith and a Mr. Brown, and also a name hardly legible, but which, if I had
4
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THE JOURNEY
decyphered correctly, seemed very like Clarence-strange, indeed, and yet familiar ;- surely it had been known to me once-Clar- ence ?- who could it be ?
None of these persons had yet reached the office (the stage, however, being ready and waiting only their arrival), and when they did come, owing to the dim light of the room and the bustle of an immediate movement towards the stage, countenances could not be distinguished; and even the Wilmars could not have been recognised without the premonition of the way-bill.
The stages of that day wore no boots. In place of that leathern convenience, was a cross-barred ornament projecting in the rear to receive the baggage or at least half of it. This receptacle was called the "Rack." Perhaps from its wonderful adaptation for the utter demolition of what it received, it was originally named "Wrack;"'and this word, in passing through the ordeal of vulgar pronunciation, where it was called first "Wreck," having lost its "W," remained what indeed it so much resembled-the Rack. In binding Mrs. Carlton's trunk to this curious engine, the porter broke the rope, and her trunk falling down, the articles within, in spite of an old lock and a rotten strap, burst from their confine- ment and were scattered over the street. The porter was very prompt in his aid in gathering the articles and securing the lid, and as some compensation for his blunder and its consequences, he refused the usual fee of the wheel-barrow service. Of course he received now thanks for generosity instead of rebukes for negli- gence : but on inspecting afterwards our trunk, the absence of a purse containing seven dollars and of a silver cup worth twice as much, awakened suspicions of less honourable cause for the porter's conduct.
Here then were, at the outset, extortion and theft, and felt, too, as evils; but there was present a believing spirit mingling sweetness with the wormwood. Ay! were we not actually on our way to the land of vision! Surely no such baseness is there! The sanctity of that Far West is inviolate!
Inside, our stage was most judiciously filled with three tiers. The lower tier was composed of saddle-bags, valises, small trunks and carpet-bags; the second, of human beings supported upright by an equal squeeze on all sides ; and then, on the condensed laps
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THE JOURNEY
of the living tier, rested the third tier, made up of extra cloaks, some band-boxes and work-baskets, several spare hats in paste- board cases, half a dozen canes and umbrellas, and one fowling- piece done up in green baize. Notwithstanding the great felicity of this arrangement, the inquietude of the upper and lower tiers when the stage first started, occasioned in the sentient tier some inarticulate growling and a little half-smothered cursing; which crusty symptoms, however, presently yielded to a good-natured laugh at the perseverance with which Mr. Brown remained on a French gentleman's foot, through a misapprehension of a very polite and indirect request not to stand there-a laugh in which the parties themselves joined.
Our driver had, at the office, seated between two way-passengers with the curtain behind them dropped, given the signal, when away dashed the horses; and then commenced the incon- siderate restlessness of the internal baggage and the ill-concealed surliness of the passengers. But at the end of a few squares the stage suddenly stopped at a hotel, when the door of the vehicle being instantly opened, the space was filled with the head and shoulders of Mr. Brown, who began as follows :--
"Ladies and gentlemen, you seem to be full in here, I suppose it is no use to be looking for my seat in the dark-"
"Sare"-responded, evidently by the accent, a Frenchman, and in a most complaisant and supplicatory tone-"Sare, do not you know my foote is under yours?
"No, sir,"-replied Mr. Brown standing up as well as he could in the stage, and feeling about for some space.
"Sare, do not you know my foote is under yours?"-voice higher and quicker.
"No, sir, I don't"-surprised, but not budging.
"Sare, do you not know my foote is under yours?"-on the octave, and getting higher and more emphatic.
"O! I beg your pardon, sir,-do you mane I'm raelly treading on your fut?"-without, however, moving off, but generously waiting for information.
"Yes! sare! I do!"
"Oh! I beg pardon, sir-raelly I thought I was standing on a carpet-bag"-when, satisfied he was wrong in his conjecture, and
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THE JOURNEY
that it was "raelly the fut," Mr. Brown instantly removed the aggravating pressure.
Our friends thus introduced by the "foote" and the "fut" as the gentleman from France and the gentleman from Ireland were welcomed by no inaudible laughter, in which they also participated, while at the moment the door was violently slammed, and that instantly followed by a startling crack of the impatient whip. This was of great advantage to Mr. Brown, as it helped him to a seat somewhere; although from some peevish expressions, he must have alighted on other quarters as well as his own. All outcries and growlings, however, occasioned by hats and bonnets innocently dashed into neighbouring faces, or by small trunks unable to keep their gravity, and elastic sticks and umbrellas that rubbed angrily against tender ancles or poked smartly into de- fenceless backs, all were drowned in the rattling thunder of the rolling wheels; and the tiers, rather loosely packed at first, were soon, by the ferocious and determined jerking and plunging of the vehicle, shaken into one compact quiescent and democratical mass.
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