USA > Indiana > Monroe County > The new purchase : or, seven and a half years in the Far West > Part 42
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Near one end, however, was a rock not unlike a pulpit,6 about four feet high and ascended by natural steps and encircled by a stony balustrade. The immediate consecration was proposed to our lovers. The gentleman, a storekeeper of Woodville, readily assented; but the mistress, a pretty and interesting young lady, positively declared "she was determined never to marry any where, but to die an old maid"-sure sign of course, that "the day was fixed;" for girls make no such silly and desperate speeches till either mature years arrive or the marriage is secretly arranged. When rallied on this point, she took the other tack and said, "if she did marry, it should be above the earth; for she didn't believe
" The author is aware of indistinctness here-but that is owing to the amazing variety in pulpits themselves.
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a marriage under it was legal; and for her part, when she could find a fellow worth having, she intended to adhere to him till death !"
"Well!"-said Peggy Ketchim,-'I'd jist as leef marry the man I lov'd down here as not"-looking tender at Jesse, Miss Logrul's beau. Jesse, however, would not take, being yet vexed at the slap severely done to his face on the crawl-way; but he very ungallantly replied :
"Well, darn it, if I wouldn't like the joke too, if Miss Logrul had only kim down-"
"Poll Logrul !"-(dixit Peggy)-"what's the use a her tryin to go through life with a feller, whom she couldn't squeeze into a cave."
Here were plainly symptoms of a squall, which it was expedient to overwhelm with a storm; hence I proposed to try the effect of a unanimous and vigorous "hurraw !"-and to ascertain if the party outside could hear our shouting. This was agreed; and then at the signal we let it out !- and oh! the uproar! inconceivable before, indescribable now! And the effect so different from noises in the world-in a few moments hundreds of bats, hitherto per- tinaciously adhesive to the rocks, took wing, and flying, with no discretion, they dashed in panic against our very faces and open mouths, and speedily extinguished more than half our torches. Many ladies would have fainted, and most would have screamed; but ours, knowing that noise had brought the evil, remained quiet ; and hence the bats soon withdrew to their clinging, and our torches were relighted; and-
"Hark !- what's that !? "
"What ?"
"Listen !"
We did, and heard an indistinct and peculiar noise-now like whining-now growling-and then it seemed a pit-pat sound like padded feet! and it then died away, and we were left to our speculations.
"Huh! haw !- its them blasted fellers outside a trying to sker the gals down here."
"Who knows if it ain't Bill's fox?"
"Spose it was Bill's wolf-hey?"
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At this ingenious suggestion, the ladies all in unaffected alarm, proposed an immediate retreat. Yet Domore and Jesse and half a dozen other chaps, said "they did want most powerful bad jist to see into the next room a little down like, afore goin back;" and hence the ladies kindly agreed to wait in the saloon, with a guard for their return.
The explorers, then, set off; and for a time were heard their footsteps and merry voices, till all were hushed in the distance; and we in silence remained striving to catch yet some faint sound -when forth on a sudden came the burst of terrific screams and outcries from the exploring party! and that soon followed by the noise of feet coming back quicker by far than they had gone away! And then into the saloon jumped and tumbled the whole party, a few laughing and jeering, but most bawling out-"a Ba'r! a Ba'r !! "
Our ladies, of course, added at first a scream; and there was some involuntary adhering to husbands' and lovers' arms; a little earnest entreaty to get out instantly ; and then a rushing towards the egress of the cave, and then a rushing back, as dark- ness in that direction became visible, and bats' wings flapped again into faces ; yet in no long time order was restored, and we listened to the following account from Domore.
"Well ! I tell you what naburs ! if I warn't about as most power- ful near a treadin on a darn black varmint of a ba'r, as most folks ever was I allow. You see, as we a kind a kim to that tother long hole, says I to Jess, Jess says I, you jist take this here light of mine here, and I'll go fust a head and feel along till we git's to that 'are room Bill tells on, whare he seed a crik a runnin across tother end, says I. Well, so Jess he takes the light and we kim to whare you a kinder sorter go down a leetle, and I was je-e-st agoin so-(action)-to put down one leg this a way so, a holdin on so-(clinging to the pulpit)-above like, and I sees the rock b'low a most powerful black and dark, and I thinks as maybe it mought be a deep hole ;- and with that says I to Jess, Jess says I, tote along that light a yourn-and then I holds it down this a way-(using his torch)-whare I was goin to step, and darn my leggins if the hole didn't seem a movinin and a movinin, till all of a quick up sprouted a ba'r's head ! and his eyes
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a sort a starin so-(imitating)-rite slam smack on mine! Well Jess he seed him too, and the way he let out his squawk was a screecher I tell you! And then all them tother fellers what was ahind, darn em if they didn't squeel as if they was skulp'd !- and put out and make tracks for this here preachers' room! But you see, I've fit ba'r afore and I know'd this one warnt agoin to fite- and I seed him a putting off afore I kim away-and if I'd had one of them chaps rifles above ground, why you see if we wouldn't a cooked ba'r meat down here to day thar's no snakes."
"But Domore, suppose the bear had made battle?"
"Well-Mr. Carltin, 'spose he had-do you see this?"-draw- ing from his jacket a very savage looking scalping knife.
"Yes ! yes !- Domore-and I would not have asked you, if I had known you had your knife."
"Well, you see, Mr. Carltin, I don't mean no 'fence-but that a sorter shows you don't know all about the woods yit-albeit you're a powerful feller with the rifle; a hunter doesn't go into timber without his knife, and never no how into sich like caves and holes as this here one."
Fears had now abated; and the ladies professed great confi- dence in my friend Domore's skill and bravery ; still, it was voted to retire immediately into the world, and our line of retreat was as follows.
I. Nearly all the males, headed by Jesse, who, wishing to show his spunk and retrieve the disgrace of his "screecher," led the van, now in front.
2. All the females.
3. The Faculty and Mr. Carlton.
4. And lastly, Domore as rear guard.
Without memorable accident our van in due time gained the cave-door and crawled out head foremost; then, aided by the upper party collected around at the unexpected egress, they helped out the female incumbents; and then, amid united con- gratulations and derisions, we, the last division were ushered slowly once more into ordinary life.
"But where's Domore our rear guard?"
"Oh! I hear him, or something else, pushing out-he makes powerful little head way tho'-maybe he's draggin a ba'r-he's mighty fussy with something and very onactive."
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By this time our whole party had come around the aperture and were with great interest eyeing the spot to greet our hero- when-could it be !- the hole was suddenly blocked up !-
"Goodness ! Mr. Carlton,-was it the bear?"
"Oh! no-no-no! dear reader, it was the full disk of Domore's tow-linen posterior inexpressibles! For with proper regard of self-defence, and yet with this peculiar breach of etiquette, he was coming out of the aperture wrong end foremost !
Aye-yah! you may hold up your fans, and so forth : but fans themselves would have joined in the universal, uncontrollable, ungenteel, and almost unendable laughter, that for the first and the last and the only time since its creation, startled and shook the grim old trees that day! Laughter like that occurs only once in a life time! And this is said deliberately, and to enable the judicious critics to remark-"The author on page so and so is again guilty of something like laughing at his own stories."
"Well,"-said Domore, when, at long last, he made his apology, -"well, I know'd it warnt the best manners to back out like ; and it warnt powerful easy ither; but you see it a sort a couldn't be helped; for, says I to meself, down thare, 'spose, says I, the darn'd b'ar, or some sich ugly varmint, was to kim agin a feller, what would be the use of kickin at 'im? And so I jist sticked my torch in a hole, and drawed out my knife, and kim out as you see, and ready to give it to any varmint what mought kim ahind me."
This was voted satisfactory; and Domore was cheered as the lion of the New Purchase; showing, too, that the race of the Putnams is not extinct.7
Our pic-nicery was now ready; and we began to regale our- selves with keen appetites, when a few drops of water made us think some one was playing a prank; but alas! no-it was rain! downright rain. And now if I had the pen of a ready writer, I might tell how quick the eatables were deserted-knives, cups, plates, cloths, all stuffed and crammed into saddle-bags-shawls pitched on, and off, too-bonnets tied under chins-horses sad- dled-mounted-and we away, away, over Rock Ford-up and
7 Referring to Israel Putnam, a hero of the American Revolution, who, according to the story of his early days on the New England frontier, crept into the lair of a big wolf and there killed the animal.
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down Hickory Ridge-on Fire-Skin's trace-and once more snug and spongy behind Bill's cabin.
Bill and his wife pressed us to stay all night,-a hunter's heart being always bigger than his cabin,-but we all refused except Domore : and he stayed, not to avoid the rain, but to talk over the cave affair and the bear scrape. We took a fresh start, and scampered on fast as ever to escape now the coming darkness : and in process of time reached Woodville, a sad reverse of the gay and dry party of the morning! Yet how we looked none could tell, for it was then a coal black night; but judging by our own plight, when standing by the kitchen fire, our whole party must have been a remarkably shivering and absorporific compound of mud and water !
Upper class and aristocratic gowns, frocks, hats and broad cloth and silk in general, had encountered melancholy accidents ; but none so serious as were met by two bran new second rate Leghorns, ambitiously sported for the first time to-day by two of our tip-top young ladies. These big-buggeries were not only soaked and stained with water and dirt of divers colors, but even torn by briars and branches : and this utter ruin and loss retarded our civilization a full year! it being all that time before the articles were replaced, and none others presuming to lead our fashions in this respect except the two pretty, but rather vain Misses Ladybook.8
8 The Misses Owen, afterwards Mrs. Irvin Maxwell and Mrs. Judge James Hughes.
CHAPTER LIV.
"But ye that suffer; who have felt The destiny of earth,
That death, with shadowy hand hath dealt Rebuke amid your mirth; To you this tribute of a word, When other sounds have fled,
Will come like lov'd tones, faintly heard- The memory of the dead."-MELLEN.
OUR family was usually very harmonious; yet the surface of our quiescence was occasionally ruffled. For instance, Mr. Carl- ton believed that Miss Elizabeth Carlton, now nearly four years old, if she did spell, ought to do it by sounds of the letters: Aunt Kitty insisted it ought to be in the march of mind way-by pictures of things. And Aunt Kitty carried the day, affirming that the baby could learn to spell in six days !- Mr. Carlton not caring whether she spelled or not, provided she had plenty of air and sunshine, and played all the time with a kitten or a doll. But when he obstinately persisted that the little one could not ever learn to spell by pictures, and must do it by the sounds of separate letters, away flounced Aunt Kitty after a caricature book ; and then flouncing back she said with a voice of triumph :
"There, Mr. Carlton, spell her any where."
"Well, dearee, what does c-o-w spell?"-covering at the same time the figure with the hand.
"Cow," said the baby in an instant.
"There! Mr. Carlton-now sir!"-dixit Aunt Kitty.
"How do you know, dearee, that it spells cow?"-said Mr. C. "I sees the-legs !"-replied baby.
Aunt Kitty put out ; while echo maliciously repeated-"There ! Mr. Carlton-now sir!"
*
-Dear one! that was true learning Aunt Kitty gave you daily from the Word of God. She did, indeed, by her living voice, teach in figures about heaven! even as the blessed word itself. And it was to that heaven, dearest! you went not many months
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after; when death so strangely quenched the light of those sweetly soft blue eyes !
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Parents! have you children in heaven? The author hopes he has five. And shall we not strive to rejoin the loved ones, where day-dreams are no more; and all is glorious, satisfying, unending reality ?
CHAPTER LV.
"There was a sound of revelry by night, And Belgium's capital had gathered then Her beauty and her chivalry; and bright The lamps shone o'er fair women and brave men :- A thousand hearts beat happily ; and when Music arose with its voluptuous swell, Soft eyes looked love to eyes which spake again, And all went merry as a marriage bell- But hush ! hark ! a deep sound strikes like a rising knell?"
WE shall conclude this year with a wedding.
"Who is to be married ?"
John Glenville.
"That old bachelor ?"
a
The same.
"To whom?"
Pardon me, I may not tell. The courtship, however, had been speedy. On his side an affair of the heart-not I fear, on hers.
He certainly married not for money; she-but she is in her forest grave now-and let her memory, like her body, rot. Happy if another at the wedding had died-that one can never die so peaceful now ! The serpents of our woods were fatal-yet they gave warning-thou wast and art a more deadly snake-and warned not! Traitor! the world will not understand this; and may deem it fiction-thou wilt understand and sooner or later-tremble! God save thee, however, the horrors of a death bed!
*
The society of Woodville was not yet refined as it might have.
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been ; although steps for the sublimating process had been taken by our gentry, and with some success. Such attempts, however, by many, were regarded with jealousy, and by not a few with feelings of rancorous hostility. Sometimes, too, every attempt had failed, and that owing to the "galls:" for these insisted on mixing with our parties, and also on taking seats at table; or if not present, it was owing to management, and not a tame sur- render of the helper's rights. Not unfrequently had an embryo lady, or one emerging from the grub and hoosiery form, been compelled by the discontent of her help, who had detected the artifice of her mistress, to soothe the young lady by saying before the company :
"Betty, child, I do wish you would sit down and a sort a pour out, while I run out and bake the rest of the cakes."
Once a very select party of prospective gentry had assembled at Mrs. Roughsmoothe's, and had become talkative and lively; when the gall-help, wishing to increase the fun, suddenly descended from the loft, into our company, and paraded over the room in her lady's husband's brother's old buckskin breeches!
To aid the polishing of society, after long discussions among the ladies, not those only connected with the bride elect, but others intimate with our several families, it was determined to have a sample wedding. To this, indeed, the gentlemen all had objections; but the weaker sex, as is always in such affairs the case, proved the stronger : and so away to work went all hands for the grand display.
And now, the truth of political economy became manifest, that 'extravagance benefits mechanics, storekeepers, and the like; for we sold broadcloth, and trimmings, and silks, and satins-in short, all things for wedding-suits dresses and decorations; and every mantua-maker, milliner, tailor, and shoemaker was in im- mediate requisition. Superfine flour, too, was needed-the best teas and coffees-the best loaf sugar-the best, in a word, of all persons and things from the beginning to the end of Woodville. Nay, many articles were required from the Ohio River. Hence, so many messages were sent, and so many packages brought, by waggoners and travellers, to and from, that long before the eventful day, half the State was advertised of the coming cere-
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mony. Indeed, not a few at that time came into Woodville from adjoining counties : which accounts for the curious external cele- bration that accompanied the internal one.
Nor were only selling and buying promoted by the affair-it increased borrowing and lending. Many, who "allowed" they would be asked, had agreed to lend one another suitable apparel, from caps and curls upwards, to shoes and stockings downwards : and our bride's folks, not having domestic means enough, had borrowed far and wide every article in the shape of china, proper, and mock, and silver, German and real. Consequently, the whole settlement was more or less interested in our wedding : and it was clear as sunshine, we should have as fine a gathering of Hoosiers, in all stages of refinement, both inside and outside the house, as the heart of man could desire.
The wedding week had now arrived; and notes, prepared in the best style, were sent round by Wooley Ben, the negro barber, hired as waiter and to discharge a dozen other offices and duties. Additional waiters would have been employed; but this was the only respectable black "nigger" in town: and as to hiring a native, white, red, or brown, you might as easily have hired the Governor. Indeed, nobody had, either little enough brains, or sufficient temerity, to make the experiment :- a hundred to one, we should have either been jawed or, more likely, got our own jaws slapped.
Well, the grand evening came at last; and about sundown the wedding guests arrived, and were formally ushered into the par- lour; which, for the first, saw ladies enter without bonnets, and with heads-some profusely, but many tastefully-decorated with flowers and curls, artificial and real. And never had that room been so full of seats, thread-lace, and bobinette! It had the honour of sustaining the first fashionable jam ever known in the Purchase !
Across the entry, was a dining room; which was now devoted to the supper-table, and its fixins. The supper differed, however, in no important point from an eastern affair-except, it was twice as abundant. But our furniture was very different. Things went, indeed, by usual names; yet the plate and the plates were very unlike, modern articles : and they were different from them-
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selves ! All were antique vases, goblets, spoons, and so forth, the relics of broken and by-gone sets; and gathered, not merely from all parts of the Union, but from France, England, Nova-Scotia, Scotland, and Wales. China and silver representatives were on that table, of all the grand old-fashioned dignity once pertaining to the ancestry of the Woodville grandees; and whose preten- sions to gentility thus shone forth in a dumb show! Not a bit of plate, pretended or genuine, but what had been borrowed, and several pieces had even been sent voluntarily ; so that Ned, one of the company without, very properly said, in his vernacular :
"Well! bust my rifle, if I allowed thare was sich a powerful heap of silver and chanery1 in these here diggins! I tell you what, Domore! wouldn't them wot-you-callums buy up ne'er about Uncle Sam's land in these parts ?"
It has been said, the incipient attempts to sublimate and crys- talize society, were viewed by many with enmity: and hence the male clarifiers had opposed all grand doings now, as the whole might irritate, excite great prejudice, and even retard the desired improvements. That such fears were not groundless, will appear in the sequel: but an episode is here necessary.
In many places of the Far West, in those days, was prevalent a custom derived from the Canadians, called Chevrarai; or, as pronounced by us in the Purchase, and spelled by Mr. Nonpareil Primer, our College printer-Shiver-ree. And that looks and sounds as much like the thing as its echo. Hence we shall fol- low nature, or Mr. Primer (who was very natural in spelling),
and call the thing Shiver-ree. The Shiver-reeing was done by a collection of all physical bodies capable of emitting sounds from a sugar kettle to a horse-shoe; and from the hoarsest bass of the toughest Hoosier, to the most acute treble of the ten- derest Hoosierine-and all, at a signal, let off at once under the windows, and in the very doors, of the marriage house.
Commonly fun only was designed; and the serenaders good humouredly retired after a dram of some alcoholic liquor. Still, a little frolicsome mischief was sometimes added. For instance, the Shiver-ree-ers would insist on seeing the bridegroom; and the moment he appeared, he would be transported to their 1 China.
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shoulders, and paraded round a few hundred yards, and in the very centre of the music; after which, he would be restored to his anxious bride, and the revellers, giving three cheers, would retire. The bridegroom would indeed, sometimes be kept too long ; as was the case with the young store-keeper, who had been of our cave party : for, the Shiver-ree folks, having, by a very cunning stratagem, caught this bridegroom, contrived to carry him away, and keep him locked up in the jury-room of the Court- house till near day-break, when he was liberated! And, all this, without his being able to identify one of his persecutors !
1
But the Shiver-ree was used, also, to annoy any unpopular per- son or family. And, then, not even double or quadruple drams could purchase peace. The moment always chosen to begin the concert, was when the parties stood before the parson. Then the power of his voice, the patience of the groom, and the nerves of the bride, were all fairly tested. The solemnization was as publicly, and loudly announced as by the roar of artillery at royal celebrations. The art within was to elude the vigilance of the party without : in which attempt, however, to the best of my recol- lection, the party within was always preeminently unsuccessful- it being not possible that any movement could escape a dozen practised eyes and ears watching for signs, and usually aided by treachery within the house.
Well, to-night, with all experience against us, and although notified, by ominous sounds of rehearsal, that the musicians were ready, we tried the usual ways of eluding-such as dropping the curtains, appointing sentinels for doors and crevices, and spe- cially by keeping up no small noise ourselves, laughing, talking, and screaming, up to the instant when Mr. Clarence suddenly rose and met the bridal party, entering from an adjoining apart- ment. Without delay, he began with the notice, that, by virtue of a license in his hand, he appeared to unite in marriage the parties named therein, viz .- John Glenville, of Guzzleton, and Evelina B-, of B -: and, as the profoundest stillness yet prevailed without, we began to exchange smiles of triumph, that, for once, Argus had been beguiled. Even the preacher proceeded, with unwonted confidence, and said, pro formulâ-"if any one present knows reason why the parties ought not to be united in
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the bands of wedlock, let such an one now speak -. " If any body inside answered, the voice was unheard in the horrid din from without, that interrupted and replied to the Reverend Gentleman's inquisitorial formula.
What the din resembled, the reader, if poetic and fond of music, may imagine, when we run over the instruments of that extra-transcendental quavering, quivering, shivering and roaring uproar !- viz. two corn baskets full of cowbells tied to saplings ; -a score and a half of frying pans beat with mush sticks ;- two and thirty Dutch oven and skillet lids clashed as cymbals ;- fifty- three horse shoes, played as triangles ;- ten large wash-tubs and seven small barrels drummed with fists and corn-cobs ;- one hundred and ninety-five quills, prepared and blown as clarionets ; -forty-three tin-whistles and baby-trumpets, blown till they all cracked ;- two small and one large military drums with six fifes, blown on D in alt., or thereabouts ;- add imitations of scalp and war cries ;- and inhuman yells, screams, shrieks and hisses, of the most eminent vocalists !
The human performers were estimated from two hundred and fifty to three hundred and fifty! there being about two hundred extra volunteers from other counties :- the whole mammoth- rabble-rouse being got up to do special dishonour to "d-d 'ris- tocraticul and powerful grand big-bug doins!" There were also super-human vocalists !- of these directly.
Temperance had advocates ready to shoot, but not be shot for her, in our party ; hence when the ceremony was supposed to be ended, by the parson's being seen kissing the wife, out started the two groomsmen and several volunteers with buckets, pitchers, and cups, to mollify the drinking part of the serenaders. But when the customary doses were administered, not only did the musicians not retire with the complimentary cheers, but remained and calling for "big-bug wine-fit for gentlemen !" and letting off at each repeti- tion of the demand peals of shiver-ree; till finding after all no wine forthcoming, they manifested symptoms of more serious riot and abuse.
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