USA > Indiana > Monroe County > The new purchase : or, seven and a half years in the Far West > Part 41
Note: The text from this book was generated using artificial intelligence so there may be some errors. The full pages can be found on Archive.org (link on the Part 1 page).
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13 | Part 14 | Part 15 | Part 16 | Part 17 | Part 18 | Part 19 | Part 20 | Part 21 | Part 22 | Part 23 | Part 24 | Part 25 | Part 26 | Part 27 | Part 28 | Part 29 | Part 30 | Part 31 | Part 32 | Part 33 | Part 34 | Part 35 | Part 36 | Part 37 | Part 38 | Part 39 | Part 40 | Part 41 | Part 42 | Part 43 | Part 44 | Part 45 | Part 46 | Part 47 | Part 48 | Part 49
The speeches, excepting a few humourous ones, were all origi- · nal; and equal to the best in our schools and colleges concocted from the living and the dead. Generally the young men of a New Purchase are superior to the young gentlemen of old settle- ments, in both scholarship and elocution; and for the follow- ing reasons :
I. The young men come to learning as a novelty. It is opposite to the monotony of woods, cabins, pork, corn, and axes. Hence nothing exceeds their interest and curiosity ; and it is long, under a judicious teacher, before the novelty ceases; and afterwards the habit of hard studying supplies the place.
2. The young men regard learning as the lever to elevate them -or by which the New World may cope more fairly with the Old. Hence, day and night, they work vi et armis at the machine ; until they even get higher than the young gentlemen who work lazily and feebly.
3. The young men have more energy than the young gentle- men; and this directed by enthusiastic masters in learning pro- duces great results.
4. New Purchases have few temptations to idleness and dissi- pation. Indeed, as war among the Spartans, so Colleges there are to the young men recreations, and more delightful than anything else.
5. Ten dollars a year-the tuition fee-was too hard for our
425
FIFTH YEAR
young men to obtain, lightly to be squandered. And ten dol- lars with us would buy ten acres nearly; hence they who value land as a great earthly good, spend not a small farm once a year for the privilege of being idle. Young gentlemen often waste two such a year on sugar candy !
6. Young men are inquisitive like Yankees; and hence, they ask endless questions not contained in Parley-books. And by this method of torturing professors, more is often extracted than by torturing nature.
7. Young men out there are in more immediate contact with professors ; hence, if the professors be themselves men, the ad- vantages of the old Roman way of education may be combined with the modern ways.
We have seven more reasons, which, however, we shall not inflict in the First edition; but to fortify the seven and to con- clude the exhibition, we shall present minute accounts of two young men, who were among our stars. And as these stars still shine, the one fixed, the other wandering, in the political firma- ment, we may only designate them as the George and the Henry.
George possessed not uncommon talents; unless perseverance be a talent, and that he did possess in so great a degree as to make it a substitute for genius. He is our fixed star. Many knew of his untiring patience and plodding diligence, and were im- pressed with a belief he would, after all, make something; but none expected him to shine forth tonight a star of the first magnitude. Not only was he great compared with himself, but with all others; and his composition on the life, character, and writings of Cicero was admirably written and most happily spoken. I was myself amazed, fired, captivated, and even in- structed ; and, after the exercises ended, I sought him, for he was one of my favourites, and said :
"Why George! you did nobly ! surely that composition cost you no small labour?"
"Thank you, Mr. Carlton. As to the piece-(I have no desire to pass for a genius)-it did cost me thought and labour-I carefully studied and re-wrote it thirty-six times."
Well! that was one young Man. The other, Henry, although never among my favourites, will even more forcibly sustain our
426
FIFTH YEAR
reasons. In a pecuniary sense, he was a poor boy even for the Purchase; and lived, in homely phrase, from hand to mouth. In- deed the loss of a day's job, made his mouth that day debtor for its food; and hand, on the next occasion, did double duty. He was, however, rich in expedient, and hesitated at no job, odd or even ; although, it is to be regretted, he did not sometimes refuse employments not strictly honourable. And yet even that may be palliated. But no apology can ever atone for his occasional in- gratitude and even positive injury to benefactors, when a few dollars were the price gained by his desertion of duty and honour.
No sooner, however, had the Seminary been organized, than Henry determined to obtain a good education. He had credit enough to procure some decent clothes and necessary books; but as five dollars, cash, and in advance, were to be paid to our Treasurer, Henry was forced to look for a few lucrative jobs ; and hence, he one morning presented himself at my store and commenced :
"Well, Mr. Carlton, I've got books and clothes; but I've no silver to pay the session-bill-kin you give a feller no job what will bring silver ?"
"Really, Henry, I don't know that I can ;- but stay ! we've lost our cow-will you take half a dollar a day in cash to look her up?"
"Ay! will I ;- when did she put out ?- what kind of a crittur is she ?- which way, think she went ? &c., &c.".
Satisfied as far as possible in his inquiries, away went the lad to the woods. At the end of two days he came back, cowless, indeed, but after a painful search through thickets, along creeks, and over hills; and during which, he had camped out alone in the night. Our hero had thus one dollar of the tuition fee.
About this time we had ceased from digging a well, after find- ing no water at twenty-five feet; although we had employed a great hazel-wizzard; and his rod had repeatedly turned down over the spot, and that so hard as to twist off a little of the bark. Even the diviner was quite at a loss to account for the failure ; in- sisting yet the water must be lower, as "his rod never twisted so powerful arnest if they want water somewhere!"
Now Henry was of the same opinion ; annd, therefore, bringing
427
FIFTH YEAR
Mr. Hum, the wizard (or witch, there so called) to me, the two prevailed on me to go only four feet lower-Henry undertaking the job at fifty cents per foot! I had supposed the boy would have a comrade to work his windlass; but no, down went Henry alone with the necessary implements; and after digging, and breaking, and prying, and shovelling, up the ladder he came, let down his empty bucket, descended, filled the bucket, reascended, wound up his load, and so on till he had cleared out "his diggins !" And away he went again to work with hammer and sledge, bar, spade, shovel, and bucket; till, within a week, our well was four feet deeper and Henry two dollars richer! But although water was "somewhere," it had not risen in our part of the world ;- the bottom of the pit was still as dry and comfortable as an oven !
Our hero in similar ways procured the other two cash dollars; and by the aid of some student's mastering in private several elementary studies, he was, at the opening of the next session, matriculated as something more than a Freshman. And now, while attending his regular studies, he still by jobbing maintained his mouth and laid by a few dollars for books and future tuition fees. He contrived even to be appointed sub-deputy librarian of the Woodville Library, adding thus to his information and funds ; and, as if all this were not enough, he one day waited on Mr. Clarence to ask if the school-laws would permit him to study law and remain a student!
"Study law !- Henry ?"-said Clarence.
"Yes, sir; lawyer Cravings will find me books; and thinks in a year or two I can plead before magistrates. If it is not against the laws-"
"Why, certainly we have no law against that ; such a case was never imagined as probable or possible. Do, however, not neglect your regular college studies, and then, it is nobody's business what else you may study or learn."
Our young man, sure enough, went to work at the law, Hoosier- fashion indeed, and still attended well to his regular studies; and in two weeks before the exhibition, he did actually defend and win a cause before Squire Snab, and against and from the re- doubtable lawyer Cravings himself-and, with the contingent fee, he paid our treasurer the tuition price of the next term!
-
1
428
FIFTH YEAR
Very good, young gentlemen! laugh at all this if you please. But had you heard Henry, ranking now about Sophomore, de- liver at the exhibition, his Speech on Man, you would have offered, as is usual in here, a price for it, in view of your Senior Speech ! Come! I will bet you two dozen raccoon skins against a · pair of kid gloves, or even a pot of cold cream, that if you wrote your own speech, when you were graduated, it was not as good as his!
CHAPTER LIII.
"Such a noise arose, As the shrouds make at sea in a stiff tempest ; As loud, and to as many tunes ; hats, cloaks, (Doublets, I think,) flew up ;- and had their faces Been loose, this day they had been lost. Such joy I never saw before."
SOME may wish to know how our Faculty spent vacations in the woods. As to Clarence, in term time, he preached twice on Sabbath, and sometimes oftener ; beside, lectures in the week, and the like,-but, in vacations, he commonly did more. This very vacation, he once walked five miles in the rain; preached an hour and a half in the open air; and then walked back the same distance to Glenville's new cabin, on the river. Our preacher was, what is called a laborious minister : and yet his ecclesiastical stipend, and that in trade, averaged only fifty dollars per annum ! yea ! he has even been without a morsel of food in his house, or a stick of wood for a fire-and, in a cold winter day, lay thus sick and deserted !
Clarence, however, would laugh a little: but, then, for this, Carlton was usually to blame. Hence, we do hope "the brethren," when reading this work, will be careful to condemn the right person-and that, not too severely; as the author, a somewhat ubiquitous man, has had the pleasure of hearing Bishops, Priests, and Deacons, as well as the inferior ministers, preachers, and ex- horters, do secular laughing, beside "making merry" with friends, according to the Scriptures.
-
429
FIFTH YEAR
Thus our Faculty, in vacations, did often, what classical people do elsewhere-nothing! Sometimes, they did next to nothing- smoking ! and very often they did-cutting-up! And this last consists in cracking nuts and jokes-racing one another, and slam- ming doors-in upsetting chairs, and even kicking up carpets ! Great wisdom, however, and art and tact, and gentlemanly feel- ing, are requisite for the cut-up; and specially in knowing where and when to cease: and, of all men, to do the thing right, Har- wood, Clarence, Glenville, and Carlton were just "the dandy !" If the affair is not done up to the point-it is teasing; if beyond -it is horse-play; but if in medio tutissimi-it is the most tick- ling and exhilatory !- better to provoke laughter than all the jest- books in existence. The cut-ups were usually in wet weather.
In dry times, our literati strolled into the forests ; where miner-' alogy, botany, and natural history, suggested by dark masses of rough rocks, or curious stones and shells, never before handled by moderns; or by enormous wild flowers, with cups large enough to hold two thimbles-full of dew; or by a startled snake, ringing his warning under prostrate trunks on or near which the learned stood; or, by crackling brush and whirling leaves, where shone a streak of bounding wolf or glancing deer-became recreations de- taining our friends till dinner was deferred until tea, and tea until supper, when all were devoured as one! Perhaps the mind never so marched towards the west, as once when Clarence and Harwood, and several visiting literati, were seen by the Author, all in a line, knee-deep and wading towards the occidental sun, through the fresh-fallen leaves; and thus discussing,-at one time, the Greek Tragedians,-at another, the Calculus and the Analytical Geometry! It was the only time the Author ever witnessed the Grand Abstraction embodied and embattled! And he feels elated as the White Man who talked-(in Judge Hall's Works)-to the very Indian whose great-paternal grandfather had actually heard of the man whose father had seen the skeleton of a. Gopher !
Often, too, would I seduce the Faculty into a hunt, by quoting the Greek of Xenophon, where Cyrus the Elder inflames his comrades, by descriptions of wild boars that rushed on the hunt- er's spear like warriors in battle, and of deer that leaped-oh!
-
430
FIFTH YEAR
how high! But this vacation, I proposed a party, to visit and ex- · plore a cave just discovered by a hunter in pursuit of a fox, that darted down a sink-hole and disappeared, in an opening among some rocks.
-
In any village is it difficult, but especially in a New Purchase one, to keep such intention secret. Soon, then, was it bruited through Woodville, that Carlton was making up a party for the cave; when further invitation was useless, our main art now being to keep out some, whose "room was better than their company." And this must be done without seeming to interfere with people's liberty of going where they liked. The prevention was partly accomplished by fixing on no definite day; and deferring, till some became weary of waiting and left town, or so engaged that going would then be impossible. Some, also, were specially asked; but not before it had been ascertained that small chance existed of their obtaining horses. This was the case with the Doolittles; who, as we rode by the morning of the expedition, answered somebody's 1 expressions of regret that we should be deprived of the pleasure of their company, with-"Well! thank you all the same for the invite-next time we'll look up nags and critters a smart chance quicker !"
Unexpectedly, one fine morning, the rising sun shedding hori- zontals of light and shade over our village, were revealed one dozen horses at Carlton's rack, and about an equal number in other places, accoutred and accoutring-(passively) ;- and, there- fore, shortly after "sun up" where we could see him, a report was spread that Carlton's party was going to the cave to-day. But rumour was not long requisite to advertise; since every man, woman, boy, girl, and child of the party became, about 8 o'clock, A. M., notifier, while our cavalcade dashed through the village, talking, cantering, whipping, joking, spurring, laughing! while some screamed, "come on, thare, behind!" and some, "not so blame fast, thar,' in front !" and others in piteous accents, "La! if I ain't dropt my ridicul' !"2_"Awh! stop'. won't you?"-"This darn'd ole guth's a-bustin'!" Oh! it was a glorious hubbub !
1 This was young Capus Smileal; who was aware, I fear, how the matter was. He would do well in here among his relations the Smootheys and Glibs.
2 Reticule.
431
FIFTH YEAR
Alas! how dignity forgot decorum that delicious morning! Even our literati, the teachers of proprieties and all that, even they lost sight of Lord Chesterfield! Why, reader! they laughed outright like the vulgar! They rode with one foot only in a stirrup, and let the other dangle! They jumped down to pick up Polly Logrul's "bag as had her handkichif in!" And more-they pelted the girls at a distance with acorns, beech-nuts, and horse- chestnuts ! switched Hoosier-dandies' horses, to make them kick- up! rear! run! and what not! And if the grave folks behaved so -what did the others ?
Ah! dear Precise ! does happiness consist in skin-tight garments ? in a hat or bonnet stuck to the pate in a style? in tying one's limbs to the dull earth by straps under boots? in moving with a graceful and pointed toe, and fingers curved and adjusted, and neck arched in magazine fashion? and in riding horses with trained gait-in smirking, and simpering, and lisping, by rule? If so : go not to a New Purchase! Above all, go not with the natives to explore a cave! Depend on it-you will break your straps! your corset-string, male or female! and derange your curls ! Solemnly-it will spoil your looks !- those, at least, your milliner, and tailor, and perfumer gave you! But if no regard for your makers' reputations deter you-I tell you it will break your- necks !
One may ride a trained horse, handsomely caparisoned, on macadamised ways, and sit perpendicular and graceful, while the beast does his theatrical starts and plunges at certain secret pulls, touches, and words : but put the same rider on the mischievous, un- broken, wild "crittur" of the woods, moving in a compound of all gaits, and starting, plunging, kicking, and biting extemporane- ously ; and on a saddle that does not fit, and with a girth that will break; and this in a gully road, a snaggy ravine, an impeded trace, or a tangled and pathless woods ;- and then if the rider for- get not dignity, and grace, and rules, adieu to his seat ! and maybe adieu to whatever brains nature, or, more likely, Phrenology may have given him! Situations occur in both the moral and the natural worlds, where a man becomes a law unto himself-and such are often in the west. But this is digression.
Our party was to consist of one dozen adults ;- (children are
432
FIFTH YEAR 1
never counted out there, but go, not as shadows-they are mere accretions)-yet spite of the effort to be exclusive, our select company swelled to nearly thirty ! And this before we set out ! and then so great was the excitement produced, that some who had abandoned the intention of going, suddenly resumed it; so, that just after our entering the woods, a clatter of hoofs and uproar of voices and leaves were close in the rear ! and there was a hand- some addition to the cave party of some dozen more! Among others, was a hunting crony of mine, Domore: and behind on his horse he carried two of the Doolittles! Other horses had duplex riders too; and when such all got into Indian file, nothing could be seen except legs on the ground kicking dry leaves, and legs in the air kicking horse sides-that being answered instantly by a very venomous switching of horse tails, and an occasional and extra performance of horse heels.
Perhaps the increased company was also owing to this : several affianced lovers were of the party; and rumour, with more of ro- mance than reality, had said, that more than two couples were to be married in the cave under ground! Oh! what a temptation- a Hoosier wedding in a new-found cave! But the sternness of truth forbids ; yet the Talemaquers must not steal this idea : when I write fiction I shall make a story out of it myself.
Seven miles from Woodville we reached the cabin of the hunter, who had discovered the cave. Here we got ample direc- tions; not, indeed, from the male hunter-he was absent-but from Mrs. Hunter. These are here condensed for the guidance of the reader, in case he may want to visit the cave for curiosity or consumption.
DIRECTIONS OF MRS. HUNTER.
"Well, stranjurs, I warn't never at that are cave; but I often heern him tell on it; and I allows I kin a sort a pint out the . course ne'er on about as well as Bill himself kin. Now, look here-you must put off ahind the cabin down the branch till you amost about come to ole Fire-Skin's trace-(an Indian once trad- ing there)-and thare a kind a take off a sort a so like-(point- ing S. S. West)-and that'll bring you to Hickory Ridge; whare you must keep down like, but a sort a leetle barin up, till you
433
FIFTH YEAR
strike B'ar Waller-(a creek)-and thare keep rite even on strate ahead till you gits to Rock-Ford-and some wher strate ayond is near about whare Bill fust seed the wolf or fox, I disremember which on 'em 'twas-but no odds no how-only foller on thare, a turning though left; and a leetle ayond is the sink holes :- and 'twas one on 'em the varmint tuk into-I don't know the hole, but it is a powerful big one, and about as round as a sugar kittle."
In the party were folks that had killed turkeys on Hickory ; fought bruins on Bear Wallow; hunted deer around Rock Ford; yet had we not fortunately encountered Bill himself, near Fire- Skin's trace, and received directions a little different, we should, indeed have found the sink holes-but not the cave. That was in a sink by itself, half a mile from the others, in size less than the least, and without any shape whatever-a place none save a fox or a hunter could ever have found!
But that place, by Bill's directions, was reached. And now the nature of the next operation being better understood, our explor- ing party became small if not select. Some ten feet down, after scratching through briars and bushes, we espied a rat hole, or to make the most of it, an opening thirty inches long by eighteen wide; excepting where sharp points of rock projected and made the aperture an inch or two less. And this hole was the veritable door of the cavern! This was manifest from the worn trace of some kind of beasts; but mainly from Domore's report, who crawled in backward, and in five minutes crawled out head fore- most, saying-"He backed in a rite smart chance, yet arter a while he finded he could a kinder sorter stand up-and then he kim out to sartify the kumpine."
Immediately commenced a metaphorical backing out : most of the ladies declared at once they never would crawl into such a place! Some also refused out of cowardice; and some were bound to refuse by tight corslets and other bandages. Yet some half dozen, and among them Mrs. Clarence and Mrs. Carlton (who usually kept together), defying natural and conventional objections, said they would follow the preacher, as he could ex- orcise foul spirits ;3 and as to other inhabitants, they would leave them to Domore and the other brave hunters with us. Some
3 That dirty work is better done now by his Holiness.4
4 The reader will have noticed from several passages the intense and intolerant anti-Catholic bias of the author.
.
434
FIFTH YEAR 1
gentlemen that wished to go in, had to remain with the recusant ladies : and some hardy bucks, with rifles, preferred hunting an hour or two "to crawlin on all fours under the airth like darn'd brute critturs !" But this was "possum"-these latter feared to be cut out, and intended to stay above ground and improve the time in sparking.
One affianced pair were so determined on the descent, and so resisted all dehortations, that some of the hide-bound were tempted to go along with us, under a suspicion that the lovers, if they went into the cave two, would return one: curiosity being nearly as strong as corsets !- but not quite.
To all, however, it was strange poor Polly Logrul obstinately refused to go down; although her sweetheart was making ready to do so, and her rival, Peggy Ketchim, was to be of the crawling party! And when all knew Polly was neither nice nor timid; and would not hesitate to seize a wolf natural by the ears! But, reader, I was in the secret :- Polly was too large for the aperture ! Hog" and hominy had enlarged her physics till poor Polly, who had hitherto triumphed in her size, now wished herself a more ethereal sprite: for I accidentally saw her, when she supposed all at a distance, standing near the cave door, and convincing herself by a total blocking of the aperture by a part only of her form, that Peggy Ketchim would have Jesse-ah! in what unseen part of the underworld, that day, all to herself !
At length all was ready. Then we formed in Indian file, faces outward and backs towards the entrance, and began slowly to retrograde from the sun-light. Domore led the rear; then came the braves ; then backed in Professor Harwood, then Mr. Carlton, his wife following before him, and then Principal Clarence, with wife ditto: and then-
1
"What then? How did the young ladies and gentlemen come down?"
I could not see beyond Mr. Clarence. It was arranged, however, that the ladies should come in a line in front of Mrs. Clarence, and the young gentlemen bring up the van-like going up and down stairs in monuments and steeples to the east. Doubtless all backed in judiciously, as we heard no complaints : although there
" Used here technically-not vulgarly.
-
435
FIFTH YEAR
was incessant laughter, screeching, squealing, and the like; and an occasional exclamation, as-"You, Joe!"-"Awh! now Sam, let me be!"-"Go away-I don't want none o' your help !"-"Take that now!"-which last was followed by a hard slap on some- body's face, and instantly answered by-"Darn it, Peg! if you ain't a bustur !"
The entrance was the grand difficulty; for on squeezing down a few yards, the rocks went down like irregular steps, and our heads began gradually to rise, till by our torches were seen the rocks above ascending in a similar way: and in about fifty feet from the aperture we could stand erect and look round on a vast cavern, widening in every direction. Here the rear awaited the centre, and then both, the van; and then all the torches being lighted, we could see more distinctly this terra incognita. 1
Deep fissures were apparent in the rocks below, into which one might have fallen in the dark; but we met no accident, and con- tinued now our advance to the Grand Saloon, or as Bill had called it, "the biggerest cave whare he couldn't see the top like." On reaching the entry of this room, we clambered down some rough projecting rocks; and thence passing along two abreast for fifteen yards, we all stood safe in the Saloon itself. Here nothing was remarkable but the size. It was an apartment about eighty feet long and from fifteen to forty wide, the height varying from twenty to sixty feet-although in some places we could not dis- cern any roof.
Need help finding more records? Try our genealogical records directory which has more than 1 million sources to help you more easily locate the available records.